DISCLAIMER: This update is 100% 99% free of obvious internet troll jokes and memes. Thank you for your attention.
Since I'm already in trouble for spellcasting, no harm in trying more of it.
We hope.
You guys have fun in the web here...
...while I get some much needed personal space. WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU TO FOLLOW ME, VAMPIRE!?
There, fixed.
It all developed into a fully-fledged party, I see.
Would be a shame to miss out on it.
Seems like there is some chain-lightning-level disagreement in the family too.
Oh, I'll take care of you, bloodsucker, just let me put my stoneskin on.
This should do the trick.
Cowled wizards attacking amnish soldiers and vice-versa. What the fuck is going on there?
You might have inadvertently started a revolution.
Magic duel, begin!
This is not running away, just a tactical retreat to gain positioning advantage.
Sure. Positioning. In an Inifity Engine game.
She summoned kobolds for help. KOBOLDS. I feel insulted.
We will not show the screenshot of our hero killing these kobolds, as I'm sure everyone can just assume they died.
Another enforcer up ahead.
Like
this one?
Fuck, I hope not.
This should be e-
Aaaaand... stunned. And I even hoped we might pull this off, for a second or two.
This reminds me of some halflings in one Planar Sphere.
3... 2... 1... Death Screen.
Or not.
O ye, of little faith.
Quick, drink that potion!
This might not be obvious, but we backed away, hid ourselves in shadows, and came back.
It's really disturbing when you say "we" while talking about things that I have done.
I make the decisions, You execute them, so every action is a collective one.
Not sure what happened with the flaming circle from previous screenshots, but we still have at least three enforcers to deal with.
Leave that to me.
First I'll suffocate them a little.
What... What just happened?
Death count: 79
Load game.
What the fuck just happened?
You died. No idea how.
Fuck! We were so close!
Anyway, my meta-scrying skills tell me I am going to need a stoneskin soon.
OMG vampires.
Who could've predicted that...
Damn, they're still hurting me pretty badly. I'm clearly out of shape after this long break between updates.
Stop breaking the fourth wall.
Do we even have that anymore?
No, but it's my job to keep it broken, not Yours!
Good job, sword!
Just business as usual.
I keep forgetting he may answer. Creeps me out every time. Remind me not to get any more talking swords in the future.
Then You should hope we never play Divinity Original Sin with its demonic talking trunks.
Alright! A levelup!
And it is a dual (Fighter/Mage) one.
This reminds me that I've forgotten to capture character screen at the beginning of this update.
Good, I hate those. Waste of time and space.
I might still make them later and insert here, if I don't forget.
After this distraction, which was much longer than planned, we are moving straight towards today's quest. If someone did not guess from the title, we are going to retake de'Arnise Hold.
What's the title then?
Oh, right, you cannot see it. And I am not telling.
Fucker.
We have been waylaid by enemies.
I remember those guys. Haven't I killed them before?
Actually,
you died then.
Oh. How awfully swell of them to come for a rematch then...
Scenes of brutality, maim and murder ensue. With the accompaniment of death screams and occasional begging for mercy, whole area turns into a lake of blood, with bits of hacked and burnt flesh floating around.
And if we meet again, I'm not going to be so lenient on you.
And if someone
really wants to see the details, here they are:
Oh, come on!
And again the same shit.
Such shitty loot. When you attack me next time, remember to bring something more valuable.
You really should not provoke them like this.
Combat details:
Told You.
You've got to be fucking kidding me! It's the exact same encounter too!
You must have angered the RNG at some point.
What did I tell you before!?
Aaand action:
These scrolls are the best stuff we've gotten out of this.
Lame.
The journey was short and eventful.
You are really stretching my patience here.
Resting.
Nothing to add to Lilarcor's comment here.
Troooll!
It's time for
Troll Slaying 101, with The Codex!
Watch carefully, because we will show this only once.
Trolls regenerate some damage every round, unless it was dealt by fire or acid.
Because The Codex fights with a sword, trolls can regenerate the damage received, but our hero deals it fast enough to slay them anyway.
However, as it was not killed by fire or acid, the troll does not actually die, it only falls to the ground, unconscious.
While lying on the ground, the troll cannot be harmed by means other than fire or acid, but any such damage will instantly kill it.
Unless killed, the troll will get up again after some time, fully healed.
That's why I prepared burning hands this morning.
Trooooo- No, wait, that's a goblin.
There. I would be rather happy if I never saw a goblin again in my life.
*sigh*
I guess this is where the goblin infestation has spread to, after I had driven them away from Athkatla.
Yeah, I'm not going to act as I'm surprised that we're fighting trolls.
If we march through the front door it will be a slaughter. Actually, it might turn into a slaughter either way, to be honest.
Ah, an infiltration. I might just try that, for amusement's sake alone.
You want to join me? Ha ha ha, OH WOW! No.
Yes, I be the 'vagabonds'. And you should really stop drinking.
Aha! A secret passage!
Check me sneaking in. Smooth.
Supplying suitable soundtrack:
I see the atttackers did not loot the place thoroughly. More left for me, then.
It seems that we are in an armory of some sort.
Yeah. Sweet. Almost as good as a treasure vault.
Secrets, secrets everywhere.
Uh, I hope I'm not interrupting anything...?
Burn, baby, burn!
There are some scrolls in this room. Besides the Conjure Elemental, there is also a scroll of Protection From Normal Weapons.
As if someone is using these at this point.
Whoever built this castle must had been seriously paranoid.
I don't like your attitude, lad.
Yuan-ti. I know I've heard this name before, but...
Snake people.
Oh, right.
Thanks, but I'm not letting Nalia "tag along", and sure as hell I'm not making dog stew for anyone or anything.
Man, I love longbows. Why did you make me proficient in short bows again?
Unlimited ammo bows.
Yeah, but still.
At this point we had to go back to Athktala to sell some excess loot. Luckily, we were not wylaid by any enemies during our journey.
More secret doors. Seriously.
This is just ridiculous.
This is one of the spots to get the Find Familiar spell, if someone is interested in that.
Also: even more secret doors.
My persistence in secret-dooring has finally been rewarded.
That's a nice ring. Too bad I can only wear two.
And I'll keep forgetting about the charm elemental ability. So, the ring is ultimately useless to us.
But still nice.
This is part of a quite powerful magic weapon.
Could not have been that good, if it fell apart.
Feeble locks cannot stop The Codex!
Neither can lousy traps!
More loot!
I'm not much of a dagger person. I prefer backstabbing with
something bigger.
Don't worry, I'll save you!
...Never mind.
Burning hands!
How many of these spells have You prepared?
All of them.
Ice-T...roll.
Stay cool.
And dead.
Deader than disco.
We've got a breach!
And one more Protection From Normal Weapons.
I'm not putting my hand in there!
Sapphire.
The things I do for wealth.
You're not wielding me until you wash your hands.
Floor completed!
Let's check the roof now.
Ok, let's go back inside now.
Stay and fight!
I guess I just
searched through the toilet, so I might as well.
Immune to normal weapons.
Fuck, I forgot.
Dead, but still managed to puke something on me. These robes were new, you know! Fucking monster!
No worries, boys. You're not going into the pot today.
Finally, some yuan-ti. I've started to think old Kaleson imagined the whole thing.
Daleson. But I'm still surprised you got that much of his name right.
These guys are not much of a challenge, but to be honest, not much is after I returned from the abyss.
Pity.
Since the catapult is broken, I might as well get back inside.
Thorgal? I hope you're joking. That guy is pretty badass, I'm not sure I want to fight him.
What the fuck? The big troll split into two smaller ones!
It's like creating an alt account, I guess.
Death count: 80
Loading.
Well, that was unexpected. Let's try again.
Stop hurting me, fuckers!
No more trolling for you!
And as for you... What, he killed himself? This will not stand! Load the game!
Are you serious?
Dead serious. This snake will die by my hand!
Suit yourself. Loading game.
I will fuck him up so hard, he won't even have time to consider suicide.
I'm sure all risks have been taken into account.
Death count: 81
Loading.
Now I am seriously pissed off.
Let's see how you manage against the fully buffed Codex, worm!
Alright, show me what you got!
The pain! The pain! Someone help me! They're killing me!
Heeeeeee-
Oh, good. You're stunned. At least the screaming will stop now.
We really should have accepted that outcome when he killed himself.
Death count: 82
Load game.
I know what you're thinking. That we should have rolled with it when he killed himself. I'll prove you wrong, just wait.
Looking forward to it.
First, the buffs.
Second, a nishruu.
Ok. Might work.
Get him, nishruu, while I take care of the trolls.
Yummy magiks!
Okay, I'm done. How are you doing?
Moooore! Give moooore magiks!
Alright then.
There. Told you he will die by my hand.
It could have been a she.
Don't start with that now.
Fire arrows. Never hurts to have more of these.
We also find some scrolls.
Minor spell deflection we already had, but this one is new.
I like it.
We have the ring that allows us to charm the summoned earth elemental in case he turns hostile, but I have a feeling we will not remember that.
And this is exactly what we need to make this place completely troll free.
Every forum admin should have a key like this.
----------
Next time: What can be worse than troll invasion on your castle? The Codex!
[FAKE SPOILER]This quest has already been finished, so I'm taking suggestion what our hero should do next. If there is no dominant option in the comments, we will probably go with the Mae'Var's Guild.[/FAKE SPOILER]
