Completed Let's solo Baldur's Gate 2 on Insane (feat. The Codex)

[MicoSelva]

(I actually regret switching from long to short bows, but don't want to do more shadowkeeper cheating to switch back)

Since that would be un-cheating, you'd have my full support.

Preserving this post for future use as an excuse to do this thing.

BTW, tomorrow's update has been moved to today, because I've decided to slack off at work. It's already written, but still needs some editing - check back in three hours.

 

[Krivol]

(I actually regret switching from long to short bows, but don't want to do more shadowkeeper cheating to switch back)

Since that would be un-cheating, you'd have my full support.

Preserving this post for future use as an excuse to do this thing.

BTW, tomorrow's update has been moved to today, because I've decided to slack off at work. It's already written, but still needs some editing - check back in three hours.

 

[MicoSelva]

Last time on Let's Insane Solo Baldur's Gate 2:

After finishing up the god-slaying business, our hero is now due some break, hence us taking up a challenge of a lighter sort.

A.k.a. boring.

Not if we can help it!

Yeah, right. You couldn't stop being boring to save your life.

I might surprise You.

Ok, I am willing to give you the benefit of doubt. Surprise me.

Update #20: Stealing From The Thieves

Spoiler

We'll start by...

I rest my case.

I actually believe some people find this interesting.

Name three of them.

Nice try. I'm not revealing any of our readers' names to you.

Was worth a shot.

Just one name, at least?

No.

Fine. They can hide behind their frail illusion of safety. They know, as well as you do, that sooner or later I am going to find them and murder them in their sleep.

This is turning into a real PR disaster. Maybe we should focus on the in-game stuff.

Um... Oh, look everyone: Unseeing Eye is now our fattest kill. Interesting, right?

I'm guessing there is zero chance he is replaced at that spot in today's update?

Pretty much, yeah.

BO-RING!

The Codex is a pretty unusual-looking figure, wearing mage robes, horned helmet and wielding a bow.

Our newest adventure starts in a shop in Waukeen's Promenade.

Truly exciting.

Huh. This actually is interesting.

Seventh level warrior is not much of an improvement, though.

Alright, I'll pay! Just fix my useless 'zerk helper already.

Our jewel-hoarding comes real handy in times like this.

Ninth level. Better than nothing, I guess.

Our shopping spree continues in the Copper Coronet, where we get our first +5 weapon.

A sling.

Yes.

The lamest kind of weapon available. And it costs thirty-three thousand gold pieces.

Well, it can hurt everything in the game, and it doesn't require bullets. I'd call it a pretty good deal.

Thirty-three thousand gold pieces!

Um... Sure?

On the other hand, you seem to be doing fine on your own. Maybe I'll just leave you to it, and take care of these unauthorized ruffians over there?

I'm not hearing any objections, so...

Um, unauthorized ruffians in your district?

*sigh*

Who could have expected that they actually will drop something useful.

Pretty cool.

Another step towards ultimate greatness.

I don't reckon anyone will mind if I take all this stuff?

Shadow thieves are true bros. They don't even care if I take stuff from their closed chests.

Did you expect them to call guards perhaps?

Well, my theory is they just think that if someone is good enough to open the chest, he is worthy of keeping the stuff stored inside, and I respect that.

Since I promised this update to be interesting, we will skip all the Shadow Thieves' HQ looting. If anyone is interested in this, chech the screenshots hidden in the spoiler tag.

Spoiler

We will not be skipping dialogues this time, by the way.

What mission do you have in mind for a god-slayer who has visited the abyss and came back with a bunch of demon hearts? Surely, something epic?

Luring me into your shitty job by talking about the reward. Clever.

I can do that, no probs.

I wonder if they have some kind of official shadow thieves guild seal to verify authenticity of documents like this. Doesn't make much sense, to be honest.

Good thing that Mayvar's top secret underground thieves' guild was pre-marked on my map.

Yes, but note that we are not actually friends, my good friend. In fact, I am probably going to kill you soon.

Mayvar seems to be keeping his subordinates' attitude in order. Maybe Bloodskull was wrong and everything is fine here?

Bloodscalp. And Mae'Var.

What a wimp.

I retract my words about shadow thieves being bros and allowing me to take their stuff. I guess they are just too intimidated to speak up when I steal from them.

I'm guessing this is the container I will need to open to finish this quest.

I, uh, have to go now. Lots of undercover work to do. And stuff.

What the fuck?

I think it is some kind of proving gorund for thieves.

Oh?

Let's see on what level they are actually operating here.

Meh.

If you REALLY want to see our hero open all these doors (why would you?), check the spoiler tag.

Spoiler

Finally, something half-decent, although putting potions of master thievery here was like giving players another deck of cards in a game of poker.

This roguestone opens up some new possibilities for us.

What do you mean?

You'll see.

Okay. What was the point? Or whatever.

More looting follows.

Spoiler

I got so lost in stealing stuff, I almost forgot why I'm here. Hopefully Mayvar was not expecting me at some scheduled time.

I'm getting strong Reek vibe from Kamikazu here.

Kamuzu.

Why would you ask who I am, if you just called me by name one screenshot ago?

Sure, but I expect to be paid.

I'm guessing this is the correct temple? They all look the same to me.

By the way, I think putting all the temples into one district was a brilliant idea.

Why exactly?

In a pinch, you could just burn the whole district down and be done with it.

Twenty thousand XP? Oh, baby, you're better than any trap I've ever disarmed.

You sure know how to compliment a lady.

Disappointingly, the necklace has absolutely no magic powers.

Oh, and we leveled up? I didn't notice.

More spells can't hurt. Or actually, more spells can hurt, but since the hurt will be unleashed on my enemies, it is the right kind of hurt.

What about my reward?

Whoa, suddenly I'm upstairs somehow. This is worse than Age of Decadence.

I seem to remember you, however rather vaguely.

How about you go and fuck yourself?

Bring it on, nerd!

Ok, so, is that potion quaffing supposed to intimidate me, or what?

Let's see what you say to this...

Ah, my back! FUCK!

This is what you get for experimenting with dialogue options in this game.

Death Count: 125

Loading.

That backstabbing bastard. I'll show him.

Ok, but in a moment, ok. I have to do something first. Be right back.

Yeah, whatever...

TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME, EDWIN! AND YOU'VE JUST LOST!

Hey, what's that?

Aha-HAHahAHahAHAhAHahaHA! Hahaha.

Bingo.

Store junk.

Subtle, Mayvar. Subtle.

Actually, yes, I will do this with a certain amount of pleasure. You see, he didn't pay me.

Ah, yes, Gort. Don't run away. We've talked about this earlier, remember? It won't hurt...

MwahahaHAHAHAHAHA, slaughter! Yes, I lied about the 'won't hurt' bit. Sue me.

Look, I'm casting spells so fast that pieces of Gort have not yet fallen to the ground!

Ah, reinforcements. I have something for you, too.

MwahahahAHAHAHA, slaughter!

I'd love to stay here and fight with you, but I have an important meeting in the next room. Here is a nice fireball for you guys to play with.

MwahahahaHAHAHAHA! We're on a fucking roll here, Lilarcor!

We sure are!

I was hurt? I haven't really noticed. Anyway, just in case...

Stoneskin, baby! You can shove your backstab up your ass.

And yet, they keep trying...

Stoneskin has worn off again? Already? How could that happen?

MwahaHAHAHAHA! No more backstabbing for you! Lilarcor, remind me to give you a raise!

Nah, I'm just here for the fun!

Good lad!

And you were the last one, I think.

Ok, this should do for the so-called boss fight.

Actually, I am here of my own volition. Kind of a bonus, really.

Get him, 'zerk!

Chaaaaaaarge!

My summonned servants should take the heat off my beautiful behind.

Yes, keep casting on the nishruu, it will work. Not.

DIE!

Wow, 'zerk actually killed someone! It was worth paying to upgrade the horn just to see this.

I think you're a bit too buffed, Mayvar. Don't move...

This will teach you to treat me seriously. When I say I expect to get paid, I expect to get paid.

You guys put 'ass' back into 'assassin'.

Ok, that was refreshing. What now?

Hey, are you here?

Player?

Now that I think about it, he did mention something about being right back...

Ok, I'm here... What...? What happened?

I've already finished the quest. Awesome huh?

What? How? Wait, let me check.

Check all you want, but the truth is I've beaten the quest without any help, and you can suck it.

Right. So I have checked everything...

Aaaaaand...?

...and I have some bad news. You did some good work here, no doubt, but unfortunately You have broken one of the fundamental rules of the LP: You attacked a non-hostile creature, namely Edwin. This means we will have rewind time to before this happened.

What? Fuck you! There is no such rule!

There is now.

Load game.

Wait-

Too late.

Next time: We do this again, but this time the proper way!

You mean: your way.

That's what I said.

Next quest selection details:

Spoiler

Just as before, below You can find the list of the suggested quest options (in chronological order, as suggested). There are six of them, so I will roll a d6 to randomly select one as the next adventure of The Codex.

1. Druid Grove [Erebus]
2. Kangaxx [Ulminati]
3. Druid Grove [Krivol]
4. Kangaxx [Rake]
5. Kangaxx [marooned]
6. Kangaxx [Storyfag]

EDIT: Kangaxx. Sweet lord of mercy, Kangaxx.

 

[Ulminati]

 

[Erebus]

Huh. I remember killing Mae'var immediately a few times (in which case, you get no reward from Renal), but didn't know it was possible to get his letter by simply killing Edwin.


On a different subject, the Iron Horn looks awesome :

 

[Ulminati]

Edwin is a cunt. Killing him before he turns hostile is a totally valid solution and MicoSelva should be ashamed for suggesting the Codex's solution was against the rules.

 

[Storyfag]

Nice try. I'm not revealing any of our readers' names to you.

Quoted for posterity. MicoSelva using proper English!

 

[MicoSelva]

Nice try. I'm not revealing any of our readers' names to you.

Quoted for posterity. MicoSelva using proper English!

My reputation is ruined!

 

[Storyfag]

However, the Codex does lack a MWAHAHAHAHAHA emote.

 

[MicoSelva]

Agreed.

EDIT:
I've started the lich thing already (for added challenge frustration without resting after the previous quest, at least so far), but I probably won't be able to post another update before the next weekend.

 

[MicoSelva]

Kangaxx is done. I am now accepting suggestions where to send The Codex next.

 

[Ulminati]

Kangaxx is done. I am now accepting suggestions where to send The Codex next.

Twisted rune? :3

Buying the +5 sling before Kangaxx was hax though.

 

[Erebus]

Trademeet. It's pretty much the easiest quest left and won't be very fun if it waits until our hero is level 18/17/20 or something.

 

[Azira]

Derpmeet +1

 

[Krivol]

No, with reputation boost and plenty of money it will break the killing contest challange, so... Firkaag!

 

[Storyfag]

Trademeet. It's pretty much the easiest quest left and won't be very fun if it waits until our hero is level 18/17/20 or something.

This. And Firkraag.

 

[Stygian Lurker]

Trademeet +1

 

[grosstraktor]

moar!

 

[Stonewolf]

 

[MicoSelva]

I'm going on vacation 14th July, which probably means no baldursgating for a while.
I will try to post the two already recorded updates before that.

 

[Storyfag]

Just one update would be

Do tell when you're planning to get back and post moar though.

 

[MicoSelva]

I should be back after 20th.

 

[MicoSelva]

Last time on Let's Insane Solo Baldur's Gate 2:

But unfortunately, we had to undo it, because of procedural errors. We'll take the longer, but proper way this time.

This is stupid.

Update #21: Fixing Mistakes

Spoiler

Yeah, ok, I'll do your dirty job for you. Let's get this over with.

Gray building, check.

I've already wasted too much time on this quest, so it would be great if we could skip the pointless talk and go straight to killing each other.

No. You shall die.

Confusion won't work on me. I wield Lilarcor.

And he's damn good at it too.

I don't feel like dealing with your mirror images, stoneskins, and shit.

Freeze!

We'll miss this wand when it runs out of charges.

Ha! Nothing like some slaughter to brighten up my mood.

Mwahahahaha! See why you shouldn't cross The Codex?

There are ghasts here? I barely noticed them.

I see they dropped a lot of toilet paper.

Looting details can be found in the following spoiler tag.

Spoiler

TL;DR version: a shitload of scrolls (including some new spells) and some magic items useless for us. We also disarmed a couple of traps.

As if anyone needed a special weapon to kill bards.

How about other bards?

That... could make some sense.

I haven't killed the damned wizard? Who have I killed then?

Wait. It was the wrong house!

What?

We entered the wrong house!

This is the right one. Three-story high and behind a fence.

Oops, I guess? Do we have to reload then? Because we fucked up?

Actually, no. They were hostile, so we could kill them, as per rules.

I find these rules pretty arbitrary.

Yeah, this is exactly what I need right now. A house full of mephits.

Luckily The Codex' Pest Control Ltd. is known to be the best in the business.

There, done. I should probably leave an invoice and my card on the table.

Or I can just help myself to whatever is lying around. And hidden in closed and trapped cupboards.

If this scroll is the real thing, it could be really useful for us soon.

Unfortunately, it's a fake.

I don't think I know this spell.

Immunity to ADHW?

Yes please!

Golems upstairs? What kind of wood are these floors made of?

If I'm going on a date with golems, I need my make-up first.

Thanks for following me, chamberpot, it's much easier to kill you one at a time.

I know I can't backstab a golem...

...but getting the first strike is good too.

Especially when we manage a critical hit.

Is this the guy we're suppsoed to kill?

Yup.

Good, I wouldn't want to waste any more time.

I hate spell triggers.

Say hello to my little friend!

Nope, cloak of non-detection.

For the record, we went downstairs to hide and came back up.

I EAT YOU!

And done.

I will be very surprised if the loot isn't shit.

I'm not very surpsied.

Yeah...

Never say no to free XP.

Well, hello there.

Haven't we found one of these already?

Yes, in the previous house inhabited by hostile mages. Mislead must be really popular around here.

This should be easy.

Is this the thing?

Sure is.

Why don't you go hostile on me, Edwin? Why don't you try? I dare you.

Ok, I will give you one last chance. If you really give me the reward, I will consider sparing your life.

The plot thickens.

You're not worth my time and effort. Go away.

And my reward? Even the fucking priest had the decency to give me a reward. It sucked donkey balls, but still.

You are so clever Edwin, I wish I could decorate the room with your brains. You certainly deserve it.

Just hand me the fucking key already.

Yeah, no. You can't join me.

So much time wasted.

Finally! Can I kill everyone now? Have we done everything properly and by the book?

Yes? Yes, I think so.

Good. You may not want to watch this.

See, Mayvar? I always get my reward in the end, one way or another.

I remember it being really awesome in the first game. Here' it's just a slightly less smelly turd.

I have to admit, this is kind of funny.

Yeah, try not to accidentally have sex with your now-mature daughter, who you won't recognise. I've heard it happens.

Just my luck.

Are you hitting on me?

You see, Mayvar made one mistake. He did not give me my reward.

Uh, I happen to know that everybody is dead over there, so I'll pass.

Good to see someone competent in charge, for a change.

10K gold and a useful sword. I might actually start to like working for shadow thieves.

So, I guess we're done for today...?

Nah, I'm not tired. Let's do something else.

Like what?

Like I remember I was supposed to get inside this building, but I'm not sure what for.


To find Montaron, your old buddy back from the Sword Coast.

I wouldn't even call Lilarcor my old buddy, and I don't recall anyone I have known longer.

Just let me in, or I'll kill you. Okay?

Yeah, they're dead. I'm positive.

Believe me, if I could spill the beans about this place, I would do so in a second. It's just there are no dialog options for that.

I'm sure nobody here will get suspicious if I ask about stuff like this.

Yeah, I don't want to talk to you either.

These amulets seems like a surefire way to break harper secrecy, but whatever.

I wonder what kind of amulet could this be...

No!

Some minor looting can be found in the spoiler tag below.

Spoiler

Did you just call me a scavenger?

Patience is overrated, but I'm pretty good at following my own path so far.

I have another question. What happens if I put the harper amulet on the floor?

I thought so.

I really wish I buffed myself before doing this.

Well, it wouldn't be a worthwile update, if you didn't die at least once.

Death Count: 126

Loading.

Let's see how much effort it takes to kill these guys. I'm betting one spell. And one potion.

Ok.

This should do.

Summonning spells should count as two.

They are immune to non-magical weapons. Luckily, I have around three thousand magic arrows hoarded.

Hold in there, LAE. Don't die yet!

LAE! What the fuck did I just say?

Can I switch my potion bet for another spell? Haste, to be precise.

I guess.

AlrightTwoDown.

AndDone. WhisWillTeachYouNotToCallMeAScavenger.

Some looting follows. Check the spoiler tag if you want to know what cool new spell (which we'll never use) The Codex learned this time.

Spoiler

This does not look like a spell scroll.

Yeah, I got the 'turned into a bird' bit the first time. No need to hammer it in.

I am looking for a bird with hairy feet.

I guess?

Wow, this is among the easiest 20K XP I've ever earned. And that says a lot.

I wonder if Xyxar would accept a bird with its head ripped and glued back on...

More looting below (this time including a spell we might actually use!).

Spoiler

Yeah, maybe next time don't place your laboratory in a gray house. That's just asking for trouble.

He's not?

It's a she.

Was Monitoron a she?

Montaron. And no.

Hey, I wanted to do that!

This is some pretty important semantics if you ask me, I don't feel satisfied at all.

Yeah, whatever.

Aha, loots like everything turned out pretty well in the end.

Looks.

I know what I said.

AC6? Still shit.

This is interesting. Can I backstab with it?

I actually don't know. We'll need to check.

Level-up time. This time, as a fighter.

I suddenly feel much more resistant to heart attacks, foul smells, gust of winds and involuntary shapeshifting!

Yes, these are some sweet saving throw improvements there.

What?

What... Ah, forget it.

You guys actually made me a scroll ADHW? And it's not even my birthday! Or maybe it is? When exactly is my birthday?

Early August? Or maybe late July? 2002.

What? I'm not even 11 years old yet?

Yes. That's why you can't have sex.

Actually, I would prefer a Ring of Might & Magic.

How about no? You guys suck too much to actually be able to make any of these.

Yeah, yeah, good riddance.

Oh yes!

Aaah, I just had a scrollgasm.

Too much information!

It will be a while before we can cast this, though.

We don't even have any Level 7 spell slots yet...

Alright! Everybody's gone, finally. I can now have my huge ball-house all for myself.

I don't need anyone anyway. I'll just stay here and enjoy my own company.

By myself.

Alone.

Next time: We undertake the an ultimate challenge and fight Kangaxx the demi-Lich!

Next quest selection details:

Spoiler

Let's roll!

1. Twisted Rune (Ulminati)
2. Trademeet (Erebus)
3. Trademeet (Azira)
4. Firkraag (Krivol)
5. Trademeet (Storyfag) [I'm ignoring 'and Firkraag' part, because one person = one list entry]
6. Trademeet (Stygian Lurker)

EDIT: The dice seem to hate us (not to mention Ulminati). Twisted Rune it is.

 

[MicoSelva]

Since the next quest should not take more than one update, feel free to suggest the following one as of now.

 

[Rake]

Trademeet.