Yeah, ok, I'll do your dirty job for you. Let's get this over with.
Gray building, check.
I've already wasted too much time on this quest, so it would be great if we could skip the pointless talk and go straight to killing each other.
No. You shall die.
Confusion won't work on me. I wield Lilarcor.
And he's damn good at it too.
I don't feel like dealing with your mirror images, stoneskins, and shit.
Freeze!
We'll miss this wand when it runs out of charges.
Ha! Nothing like some slaughter to brighten up my mood.
Mwahahahaha! See why you shouldn't cross The Codex?
There are ghasts here? I barely noticed them.
I see they dropped a lot of toilet paper.
Looting details can be found in the following spoiler tag.
TL;DR version: a shitload of scrolls (including some new spells) and some magic items useless for us. We also disarmed a couple of traps.
As if anyone needed a special weapon to kill bards.
How about other bards?
That... could make some sense.
I haven't killed the damned wizard? Who have I killed then?
Wait. It was the wrong house!
What?
We entered the wrong house!
This is the right one. Three-story high and behind a fence.
Oops, I guess? Do we have to reload then? Because we fucked up?
Actually, no. They were hostile, so we could kill them, as per rules.
I find these rules pretty arbitrary.
Yeah, this is exactly what I need right now. A house full of mephits.
Luckily The Codex' Pest Control Ltd. is known to be the best in the business.
There, done. I should probably leave an invoice and my card on the table.
Or I can just help myself to whatever is lying around. And hidden in closed and trapped cupboards.
If this scroll is the real thing, it could be really useful for us soon.
Unfortunately, it's a fake.
I don't think I know this spell.
Immunity to ADHW?
Yes please!
Golems upstairs? What kind of wood are these floors made of?
If I'm going on a date with golems, I need my make-up first.
Thanks for following me, chamberpot, it's much easier to kill you one at a time.
I know I can't backstab a golem...
...but getting the first strike is good too.
Especially when we manage a critical hit.
Is this the guy we're suppsoed to kill?
Yup.
Good, I wouldn't want to waste any more time.
I hate spell triggers.
Say hello to my little friend!
Nope, cloak of non-detection.
For the record, we went downstairs to hide and came back up.
I EAT YOU!
And done.
I will be very surprised if the loot isn't shit.
I'm not very surpsied.
Yeah...
Never say no to free XP.
Well, hello there.
Haven't we found one of these already?
Yes, in the previous house inhabited by hostile mages. Mislead must be really popular around here.
This should be easy.
Is this the thing?
Sure is.
Why don't you go hostile on me, Edwin? Why don't you try? I dare you.
Ok, I will give you one last chance. If you really give me the reward, I will consider sparing your life.
The plot thickens.
You're not worth my time and effort. Go away.
And my reward? Even the fucking priest had the decency to give me a reward. It sucked donkey balls, but still.
You are so clever Edwin, I wish I could decorate the room with your brains. You certainly deserve it.
Just hand me the fucking key already.
Yeah, no. You can't join me.
So much time wasted.
Finally! Can I kill everyone now? Have we done everything properly and by the book?
Yes? Yes, I think so.
Good. You may not want to watch this.
See, Mayvar? I always get my reward in the end, one way or another.
I remember it being really awesome in the first game. Here' it's just a slightly less smelly turd.
I have to admit, this is kind of funny.
Yeah, try not to accidentally have sex with your now-mature daughter, who you won't recognise. I've heard it happens.
Just my luck.
Are you hitting on me?
You see, Mayvar made one mistake. He did not give me my reward.
Uh, I happen to know that everybody is dead over there, so I'll pass.
Good to see someone competent in charge, for a change.
10K gold and a useful sword. I might actually start to like working for shadow thieves.
So, I guess we're done for today...?
Nah, I'm not tired. Let's do something else.
Like what?
Like I remember I was supposed to get inside this building, but I'm not sure what for.
To find Montaron, your old buddy back from the Sword Coast.
I wouldn't even call Lilarcor my old buddy, and I don't recall anyone I have known longer.
Just let me in, or I'll kill you. Okay?
Yeah, they're dead. I'm positive.
Believe me, if I could spill the beans about this place, I would do so in a second. It's just there are no dialog options for that.
I'm sure nobody here will get suspicious if I ask about stuff like this.
Yeah, I don't want to talk to you either.
These amulets seems like a surefire way to break harper secrecy, but whatever.
I wonder what kind of amulet could this be...
No!
Some minor looting can be found in the spoiler tag below.
Did you just call me a scavenger?
Patience is overrated, but I'm pretty good at following my own path so far.
I have another question. What happens if I put the harper amulet on the floor?
I thought so.
I really wish I buffed myself before doing this.
Well, it wouldn't be a worthwile update, if you didn't die at least once.
Death Count: 126
Loading.
Let's see how much effort it takes to kill these guys. I'm betting one spell. And one potion.
Ok.
This should do.
Summonning spells should count as two.
They are immune to non-magical weapons. Luckily, I have around three thousand magic arrows hoarded.
Hold in there, LAE. Don't die yet!
LAE! What the fuck did I just say?
Can I switch my potion bet for another spell? Haste, to be precise.
I guess.
AlrightTwoDown.
AndDone. WhisWillTeachYouNotToCallMeAScavenger.
Some looting follows. Check the spoiler tag if you want to know what cool new spell (which we'll never use) The Codex learned this time.
This does not look like a spell scroll.
Yeah, I got the 'turned into a bird' bit the first time. No need to hammer it in.
I am looking for a bird with hairy feet.
I guess?
Wow, this is among the easiest 20K XP I've ever earned. And that says a lot.
I wonder if Xyxar would accept a bird with its head ripped and glued back on...
More looting below (this time including a spell we might actually use!).
Yeah, maybe next time don't place your laboratory in a gray house. That's just asking for trouble.
He's not?
It's a she.
Was Monitoron a she?
Montaron. And no.
Hey, I wanted to do that!
This is some pretty important semantics if you ask me, I don't feel satisfied at all.
Yeah, whatever.
Aha, loots like everything turned out pretty well in the end.
Looks.
I know what I said.
AC6? Still shit.
This is interesting. Can I backstab with it?
I actually don't know. We'll need to check.
Level-up time. This time, as a fighter.
I suddenly feel much more resistant to heart attacks, foul smells, gust of winds and involuntary shapeshifting!
Yes, these are some sweet saving throw improvements there.
What?
What... Ah, forget it.
You guys actually made me a scroll ADHW? And it's not even my birthday! Or maybe it is? When exactly is my birthday?
Early August? Or maybe late July? 2002.
What? I'm not even 11 years old yet?
Yes. That's why you can't have sex.
Actually, I would prefer a Ring of Might & Magic.
How about no? You guys suck too much to actually be able to make any of these.
Yeah, yeah, good riddance.
Oh yes!
Aaah, I just had a scrollgasm.
Too much information!
It will be a while before we can cast this, though.
We don't even have any Level 7 spell slots yet...
Alright! Everybody's gone, finally. I can now have my huge ball-house all for myself.
I don't need anyone anyway. I'll just stay here and enjoy my own company.
By myself.
Alone.
Next time: We undertake
the an ultimate challenge and fight Kangaxx the demi-Lich!