SlavemasterT
Arcane
I am here today to discuss part of the fallout from the chaotic events of last November, in particular the fates of two of our long-time friends and hooligans.
As the unofficial, unacknowledged, unauthorized, and pro-boner advocate of Pooperscooper and Nicolai, I object to the continued banishment of my non-clients from this august board. I ask of my fellow Codexers: is our discourse really any richer with the voices of these two patriots silenced? Does their continued absence send any message save one of intolerance and mistrust? I ask our evil overlords: was their crime really so heinous as to warrant eternal exile? Do the obvious mitigating circumstances of their collaboration really weigh so little on the less-than-blind scales of interweb-justice? It is a known fact that they were merely accomplices and subservient helpers to the mastermind behind the hostile takeover, and that their assistance was primarily ineffectual and symbolic in nature. While punishment for such rebellion is surely warranted, by dumbfucking, or temp-banning, or both, I argue that total excommunication flies far beyond the bounds of reason and proper jurisprudence.
With their exile we have lost both an exceptional steward of Retardoland, which now lays wild and unmanaged even as suitably retarded threads are sent there in increasing numbers by a steely-eyed and ever vigilant Sentinel, as well as an emotional vampire of unparalleled heartlessness and erudition, whose trenchant book reviews, enormous collection of disturbing pirated comics, and inhumanly cruel pranks now remain inaccessible to the hungry and brutish Codexian masses. No matter where you stood on the issues that led to the fracas or the means by which the argument was pursued, these losses to the boards are real, undeniable, and an utter tragedy.
It is true that mercy was not entirely lacking in the judgment passed upon our dear amigos, as they can still be found by those who dare to seek them on DAC, or in the foetid Stygian horror that is #fallout. However, what true Codexer cares to spend his time sifting through the chaff of DAC to find what could be delivered to us easily in our own home? And how many have the strength of mind and purity of essence to survive even a handful of minutes in that IRC enclave without going mad from the converging currents of perversity, retardation, and ennui found there? Though some small measure of mercy might have been shown to our compadres, it is merely the cold privilege of being allowed to suffer in the company of those able and willing to overcome the challenges involved with finding and joining them in their exile.
This situation must not be allowed to continue. My friends - or at least, my degenerate fellow untermensch of the Codex, I appeal to your sense of justice, to your sense of freedom of thought and expression, your sense of savage nobility, your penchant for chaos, your love of the disturbing, your low-brow sense of humor, your unrepentant depravity, your perverse lusts, your instinct to sin, your utter insanity, your callous disregard for all that is pure - I appeal to everything that makes you a Codexer, to stand up and say finally that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Nicolai and Pooperscooper's term of punishment must come to an end, and they be allowed to return once again to the unwholesome bosom of the community; to join in the discussion of inane computer games and irrelevant sundries too multifarious to fathom, and to march arm in arm with the rest of us towards the perdition that undoubtedly awaits.
Stand and make yourself heard. And may God continue to bless America.
Thank you.
As the unofficial, unacknowledged, unauthorized, and pro-boner advocate of Pooperscooper and Nicolai, I object to the continued banishment of my non-clients from this august board. I ask of my fellow Codexers: is our discourse really any richer with the voices of these two patriots silenced? Does their continued absence send any message save one of intolerance and mistrust? I ask our evil overlords: was their crime really so heinous as to warrant eternal exile? Do the obvious mitigating circumstances of their collaboration really weigh so little on the less-than-blind scales of interweb-justice? It is a known fact that they were merely accomplices and subservient helpers to the mastermind behind the hostile takeover, and that their assistance was primarily ineffectual and symbolic in nature. While punishment for such rebellion is surely warranted, by dumbfucking, or temp-banning, or both, I argue that total excommunication flies far beyond the bounds of reason and proper jurisprudence.
With their exile we have lost both an exceptional steward of Retardoland, which now lays wild and unmanaged even as suitably retarded threads are sent there in increasing numbers by a steely-eyed and ever vigilant Sentinel, as well as an emotional vampire of unparalleled heartlessness and erudition, whose trenchant book reviews, enormous collection of disturbing pirated comics, and inhumanly cruel pranks now remain inaccessible to the hungry and brutish Codexian masses. No matter where you stood on the issues that led to the fracas or the means by which the argument was pursued, these losses to the boards are real, undeniable, and an utter tragedy.
It is true that mercy was not entirely lacking in the judgment passed upon our dear amigos, as they can still be found by those who dare to seek them on DAC, or in the foetid Stygian horror that is #fallout. However, what true Codexer cares to spend his time sifting through the chaff of DAC to find what could be delivered to us easily in our own home? And how many have the strength of mind and purity of essence to survive even a handful of minutes in that IRC enclave without going mad from the converging currents of perversity, retardation, and ennui found there? Though some small measure of mercy might have been shown to our compadres, it is merely the cold privilege of being allowed to suffer in the company of those able and willing to overcome the challenges involved with finding and joining them in their exile.
This situation must not be allowed to continue. My friends - or at least, my degenerate fellow untermensch of the Codex, I appeal to your sense of justice, to your sense of freedom of thought and expression, your sense of savage nobility, your penchant for chaos, your love of the disturbing, your low-brow sense of humor, your unrepentant depravity, your perverse lusts, your instinct to sin, your utter insanity, your callous disregard for all that is pure - I appeal to everything that makes you a Codexer, to stand up and say finally that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Nicolai and Pooperscooper's term of punishment must come to an end, and they be allowed to return once again to the unwholesome bosom of the community; to join in the discussion of inane computer games and irrelevant sundries too multifarious to fathom, and to march arm in arm with the rest of us towards the perdition that undoubtedly awaits.
Stand and make yourself heard. And may God continue to bless America.
Thank you.