Episode III.

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Saw it yesterday, dissapointed that there's no thread here about how much it sucks, so please ready your acidic commentary and append below:

Acting: Everyone knows how bad this aspect is, so I'll just say it's pretty sad that Yoda gives the best performance of the damn movie. Christopher Lee gets all of thirty seconds of screen time. Lucas is an idiot. Samuel Jackson can't play anyone other than himself: "Say Sith one more time, motherfucker, I dare you! Sith ain't no place I ever heard of. Etc..." Portman and what's-his-ass are barf-inducing anytime they're in the same scene. The only think I can figure is that they must have hated each other and Lucas' shitty dialog so much the only way they could survive the filming was to leave their bodies and go to their Happy Places.

Effects: Amazing how bad a lot of it looked. The lizard-thing. A lot of the clone trooper scenes. Fuck. The first scene, the space battle, could have been good, but it was so packed full of possible toy purchases that it was basically an incomprehensible mess. Amazing how much better models and puppets looked in the early '80s than CG looks in this shitfest. Many of the INTENSE SABER BATTLES looked so shitty because they were framed too close. Should have gotten an Asian director that understands action direction of sword play instead. Or, I don't know, someone who knows how to direct at all would have been better.

Plot: Full of fucking holes and more inconsistencies with the Original Trilogy. That's the problem of writing every goddamn character into the prequels and making them have relationships. You'd think Chewbacca would have had something to say about kicking it with Yoda a mere two decades before. Princess Leia is now a liar for saying she remembered her mother's face. The whole premise for Anakin falling to the dark side and not one fucking Jedi master being able to sense or stop it was ridiculous. "Ah, my wife will die in childbirth, so instead of going through the medical establishment that can replace severed limbs amongst other miracles and could surely prevent internal bleeding the typical cause of death in childbirth, I will instead follow the most obviously evil motherfucker who dropped one hint that there may possibly be some possible mystical teaching long ago that might be able to save her life and all I have to do is kill children and all my friends."

Also, why did Obi Wan just leave Anakin to burn alive? If you were prepared to slay your former student in a duel, someone you supposedly loved as a brother, could you watch them suffer as they burned alive, or would you deliver the coup de grace to put them out of they're misery? Sure as hell didn't seem like the Jedi way...

Don't mince words, tell us how you REALLY feel

I agree with the poor acting by Hayden and Natalie. It was pretty bad. Other than that, I was thoroughly entertained by the movie. I noticed several inconsistencies, but didn't really care. I got my money's worth out of it. I thought Ewan McGregor did a very worthy job this time.

Btw, is it for real that they cut out a lot from the original scenario? (Talking about plot holes).
Anyone knows where to get one?

Worst performance of the show was James Earl Jones. NOOOOOOOOOOOoooooOOOOOOOOooOoOoo...

But overall I really enjoyed the movie as well. What it needed to do right, it did exceptionally well, overcoming the awkward Episode I and II -itis moments. YMMV as always.

And for your viewing pleasure, Fun With NOOOOOO. You may want to avoid if you haven't seen the movie yet.

The basic NOOOOO: http://darthno.ytmnd.com/

Interstitial NOOOO: http://cnnoooooooo.ytmnd.com/

Vader joins The Monkees: http://darthdolenz.ytmnd.com/

Monty Python and the Holy Noooooo: http://knightswhosaynoooo.ytmnd.com/

Backwards: http://reversevader.ytmnd.com/

Vader/Dean in '08? http://darthdean.ytmnd.com/

What REALLY happened to Padme: http://padme.ytmnd.com/

I sense a great disturbance in the Force: http://vadergetsthetalk.ytmnd.com/

Let's dance: http://darthvaderno.ytmnd.com/

How a Sith Lord spends his free time: http://darthpaddleball.ytmnd.com/

My personal favorite: http://unitedstatesofno.ytmnd.com/

Again, I heard that there were a few dialogues and moments that explain that FLIP FLOP rather well... but they were cut out.
Is it true?

Speaking of the "Noooo!" part, if you were the Emperor, wouldn't you have told Darth that the Jedi or the Rebellion had killed his wife, rather than "his anger"? Especially after spending all that time cultivating Anakin's anger in the first place?

I think you nailed it, Saint. It should've been about Obi Wan, and the effects should've served the movie rather than the other way around. (Especially when they look so bad, for the most part.)

I agree with all the criticisms above, but what annoyed me quite a bit is how rarely the Jedi use the force. Obi Wan is constantly dropping his lightsaber or reaching for a weapon in his fights and he only ever grabs one thing with the force (a blaster he kills Grievous with), but mere moments before, he was desperately grasping for that staff weapon. And at the beginning, when all those little robots are all over his fighter, why doesn't he just shove them off with the force (aside from showing off Anakin's flying skills and OMG DARKSIDE RECKLESSNESS)? Too many plot holes and flat out funny moments due to horrid dialog. It's better than the other prequels, but still just okay.

EDIT: The whole R2 thing is shit as well. Anakin runs into him when he's a young kid. Let's assume R2 is still new at this point. About twenty years later, Anakin's a full grown pussy and he still has R2--the robot is twenty years old and still current technology. Then another twenty years pass before the original trilogy--R2 is still apparently the cutting edge, though he's mysteriously lost the ability to fly. Now, that's forty damn years that nobody's made a better droid. They've been building tons of new types of fighters for the droids to work in (from Naboo fighters to early TIEs to early X-Wings to the original trilogy's Rebel fighters) and the Empire even builds an entirely new, ridiculously huge fleet of Star Destroyers in between Ep III and IV, but the droids stay the same? Take it into the far reaches of the Extended Universe material and you've got a 50, maybe even 60 year old droid that's still up to date with all the technology of the time. Nonsense. Star Wars is notorious for non-existent progression of technology, but the R2 thing is pushing it.

I find it hilarious that the ones who whined the most about E1, and E2 would go out right away and see E3 then whine about that too. Idiots.

That said, I haven't seen E3 yet as I don't go to theatres at all; but I feel people underrate the first two movies, and overrate the originals. Except for Jar jar which sucks the poo.

You whine about the movies; but still go and watch it. Pathetic.

However, that NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!111 is sooooooooo friggin' retarded. Jones needs help.


edit: SP, check out this thread for a link to an interetsing take on that E2 scene you refer to..

http://forums.obsidianent.com/index.php?showtopic=34346

Which is also stupid considering he did the same thing to Tyranus earlier in the movie. The chancellor tells you to murder an enemy because he's too dangerous, and heads roll; one of your fucking Jedi Masters tells you the goddamn Sith Lord that's been behind the entire war, and you mutiny? What terrible writing. And dude is turning into fucking Nosferatu right before your eyes. What an idiot.

Good point about the Jedi being so weak and never using their force POWARZ! Another weak fucking plot hole was Yoda giving up immediately after fighting the Emperor. "Oh well, I didn't win right away, I've got to go into exile now and stick the rest of you with a brutally repressive regime for the next 20 years..." Giving how well the initial storming of the Emperor's place went, Yoda and Obi Wan could've went right back in and kicked his fucking ass, no problem. Idiots...

LOL! This one reminded me of Principal Skinner and his frequent laments of "Nooooo!" on The Simpsons. So bad.

I enjoyed it. I thought it was a good movie besides the horrible script. The only way I'm dissapointed is that this movie and the other prequels had so much potential to be amazing, but Lucas fucks it up with his writing.

of course everybody goes to see it. it doesn,t matter how bad were EP 1 and EP 2, we are all brainwashed when we were 7 years old. the whole thing is geneticly imprinted in my brain. and to tell you the truth i didn,t mind the lousy previous episodes and i really wanted to like this one. and besides everywhere on the internet imdb.com for example, everybody was saying the film is good, very dark, Lucas has done it again blah blah. and from the first scene i understood i will be very disappointed. the scene when they saved palpatine was like taken from " lethal weapon ". and it was so out of place. it looks like lucas was trying to make it more 'user -friendly ' apearantly after the criticizm that in the new movies there is no character like han solo. and i think obi-wan was supposed to be the commic relief in the movie. but he is a fucking JEDI. he is supposed to be cool not some wise ass. all in all if lucas ever had some ability as a writer or a director he has lost it long ago. that movies was totally B-grade as far as acting,script, direction goes. and the scene on Mustafar where Padme comes to Anakin was like taken from a Mexican soap opera.
" You lied to me ! "
" NO, i didn,t know "
" PUTTA MADRE " " ARRIVA ARRIVA "
it made me laugh. of course it is entirely possible that the first three movies were total crap as well, but we were all kids then.

What the hell was Anakin? Was he still a padawan? He ditched the pony tail and grew his hair out, which certainly made him look like a master. In the Clone Wars cartoon, an animated series that was meant to bridge the gap between Eps. 2 & 3, the council makes him a master, which explains his new look, but in the movie the council makes it clear that he's no master.

The cartoon is supposed to be canon, I believe, because Grievous' coughing throughout the film is the result of his encounter with Mace Windu, who fucks him up in the cartoon as he's escaping with Palpatine.

The cartoon is infinitely better than any of the movies. And you're right, dip^3, Grievous has his asthma attacks becuase Mace "Jules" Windu comes and force crushes his chest like the little robo-fuck he is.

As for Ep III, I enjoyed it. I like the somewhat-dark tone it had in it, but the beginning was horrible. Immediately thought of Ep. I and all the R2-D2 "comic relief" made me cringe. Got much better by the end though, aside from the painful "NOOOOO0O0OOOOO0oOOOOO0O!!!11!!"

dipdipdip, Anakin was made a Jedi Knight, not a Jedi Master. Three ranks -- Padawan, Knight, Master.

In Clone Wars #21, Yoda says "Anakin Skywalker, by the right of the Council, by the will of the Force, dub thee I do, Jedi, Knight of the Republic"

Did anyone else notice the sexual undertones when Anakin was sent to kill the younglings? As the youngling approached him, his phallic-symbol shaped light-saber suddenly grew bigger! I for one cannot allow this kind of filth to destroy our american moral values! Won't somebody think of the poor children now with the memory of Anakin's huge lightsaber impressed into their minds? BY THE LIGHT, WHAT THIS COUNTRY NEEDS IS JESUS!

:shock:

Wow... you guys are idiots.

Will explain when I get home.

(Obviuously not all of you, just those agreeing with Jed on a couple things...)

This would've pwnd. Mace is a bad ass, but was only evident in trouncing Palp pretty good...but otherwise was underused IMO.

I have to agree with the one sentiment...the Jedi ARE supposed to the shit, and yet they are too passive. When obi wan does use his force push/pull, its pretty tight, but then thats it. Also, and this is just me...but if you can force push/pull massive machinery, wouldn't something like a lightsaber be force-sealed to your hand? How would you ever lose it? You know how hard it is to pull apart strong magnets? Again, Xwing vs. lightsaber...if you're strong enough to lift aircraft, wouldn't holding onto a lightsaber be automatic?


Oh well, liked the movie for the most part.

Cheers

God damn it you Mace fangirls, Palpatine was faking it.

I haven't seen it yet.
But I'm certain I will be able to enjoy it on some level..."ooooh, pretty lights", etc.

The last two were tripe of the first order, but I still enjoyed them for the spectacle. Except Jar Jar. But does anyone like Jar Jar?

Anyway, my rose-tinted view of the originals, all of which I saw at the theater (and I would guess that a lot of visitors here were not old enough to), has been irreconcilably ruined by the last two. So it cannot get any worse for me

George Lucas could come to your house and rape your family and then rip of you ballsack and eat it, so technically, Star Wars could get a hell of a lot worse for you.