Luzur
Good Sir
some idiot (prob a southerner swede) screaming like a girl on youtube.
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Incline Goat Simulator
- Thread starter catfood
- Start date
some idiot (prob a southerner swede) screaming like a girl on youtube.
Multidirectional
Arcane
- Joined
- Mar 18, 2009
- Messages
- 7,332
Clearly, I don't. I don't play simulators. Seems like I'll keep it that way.
Anyone played this? Need something to entertain a 5 and 8 year old kids for a while and it's just 2 bucks now. Is there any retarded content that can give my beloved nieces a lifelong trauma?
This game is shit, but I can see it might have some entertainment for 8 years old kids, because it's sandbox and it has that "AWESOME THING EVERY SECOND JUST PUSH A BUTTON" thing...
Anyone played this? Need something to entertain a 5 and 8 year old kids for a while and it's just 2 bucks now. Is there any retarded content that can give my beloved nieces a lifelong trauma?
Yeah, get it for them.
Then beat them and force them to play Arcanum.
Lyric Suite
Converting to Islam
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2006
- Messages
- 56,539
My 7 years old nephew got bored with it after a couple of weeks of playing. Game feels like a retarded mod for GTA, the type of shit you'd just play for laughs for a bit before uninstalling. I don't get how they brand this as an actual game.
Sheet, that's plenty. So no nudes, no drugs, no ultra-gore I presume? Good.
Lyric Suite
Converting to Islam
- Joined
- Mar 23, 2006
- Messages
- 56,539
There was at least one swear word (a "fuck the police" achievement). Can't remember anything else that was bad for kids.
- Joined
- May 13, 2009
- Messages
- 27,207
Drugs and booze also make an appearance, but there's no gore...the goat is immortal.
GTA itself is just a Balkanite simulator...this is not much different really.
SuperSonicGd
Literate
- Joined
- Aug 10, 2016
- Messages
- 31
This is everything a video game should be.
Whilst fat Americans sit around discussing graphics, plot, character development... these guys really captured what it means to want to sit down and play a game.
Goat Simulator is not some vain attempt at being a book or a movie.
Goat Simulator does not force you into contrived battles, or quick-time events. (I'm so fucking sick of quick-time events in every video game ever...)
It literally is just you, being a goat, running around ramming into things to earn points and explore. It's just mindless fun. And if you insist on making it more than that, than pay attention to your points. That's why pinball is superior in many ways because pinball kept point tallies in a meaningful way over "achievements" and "getting good".
Goat Simulator is a testament to somebody out there knows what gaming was meant to be... Definitely 10/10.
Whilst fat Americans sit around discussing graphics, plot, character development... these guys really captured what it means to want to sit down and play a game.
Goat Simulator is not some vain attempt at being a book or a movie.
Goat Simulator does not force you into contrived battles, or quick-time events. (I'm so fucking sick of quick-time events in every video game ever...)
It literally is just you, being a goat, running around ramming into things to earn points and explore. It's just mindless fun. And if you insist on making it more than that, than pay attention to your points. That's why pinball is superior in many ways because pinball kept point tallies in a meaningful way over "achievements" and "getting good".
Goat Simulator is a testament to somebody out there knows what gaming was meant to be... Definitely 10/10.
Severian Silk
Guest
Gud troll.
- Joined
- May 13, 2009
- Messages
- 27,207
Goat Simulator is not a sandbox, but it's not far from it. "Playground" would probably be the best description.
The goat can run around, jump, bleat, kick, headbutt and lick things. Licking = Pick things up and drag them around. The goat can also ride some basic vehicles (bikes and such) and do some other tricks like walking on its forelegs.
There is no goal to the game except to experiment and see what happens. There are hidden areas to find, hidden goals to reach and finally there are the mutators. Mutators are special abilities that your goat can gain. These range from altering the physical appearance of the goat to giving it useful abilities like anti-gravity or even an inventory to store things in.
Humour plays a large factor, and much of it is pretty juvenile. Kick a person and watch them fly off. Kick a car often enough and it may explode. Kick a gas pump at the gas station and watch as YOU fly half-way across the map while getting the "MICHAEL BAY!" points award. Kick that large boulder up on the hill and watch as it rolls down and over the BBQ crowd below...and beyond. Lick that car doing doughnuts out in the field and then let go after having picked up some speed. But past that there's another layer of humour, aimed at adult players. You can catch Skrillex playing in a party, find juvenile radiated karate tortoises in the sewers, achievements aimed at trying to do your best neckbeard impersonation by purchasing fedoras and then there are the Mass Effect-esque romance scenarios and Portal-esque test chambers. Codexers will want to check out the MMO-inspired map for some cringe-worthy laughs as stats, levels and grinding get the Goat Simulator treatment (hint: they're all worthless).
The violence present is all slap-stick, there are no dismemberments and no blood, though people you mess too much with don't get up again for "some reason". There are mild drugs and sexual references, but nothing graphic or actually shown (though a goat in leather bondage gear will raise some questions). So, just a smidgeon above what you can expect from a Tom & Jerry or Looney Tunes cartoon.
Three maps either come with the base game or are made available via free DLCs, but each of the priced DLCs unlocks a new map, and they only get bigger with each one.
I can easily recommend getting the base game (at a discount) but I'll leave it up to the player to decide on the DLCs.
The goat can run around, jump, bleat, kick, headbutt and lick things. Licking = Pick things up and drag them around. The goat can also ride some basic vehicles (bikes and such) and do some other tricks like walking on its forelegs.
There is no goal to the game except to experiment and see what happens. There are hidden areas to find, hidden goals to reach and finally there are the mutators. Mutators are special abilities that your goat can gain. These range from altering the physical appearance of the goat to giving it useful abilities like anti-gravity or even an inventory to store things in.
Humour plays a large factor, and much of it is pretty juvenile. Kick a person and watch them fly off. Kick a car often enough and it may explode. Kick a gas pump at the gas station and watch as YOU fly half-way across the map while getting the "MICHAEL BAY!" points award. Kick that large boulder up on the hill and watch as it rolls down and over the BBQ crowd below...and beyond. Lick that car doing doughnuts out in the field and then let go after having picked up some speed. But past that there's another layer of humour, aimed at adult players. You can catch Skrillex playing in a party, find juvenile radiated karate tortoises in the sewers, achievements aimed at trying to do your best neckbeard impersonation by purchasing fedoras and then there are the Mass Effect-esque romance scenarios and Portal-esque test chambers. Codexers will want to check out the MMO-inspired map for some cringe-worthy laughs as stats, levels and grinding get the Goat Simulator treatment (hint: they're all worthless).
The violence present is all slap-stick, there are no dismemberments and no blood, though people you mess too much with don't get up again for "some reason". There are mild drugs and sexual references, but nothing graphic or actually shown (though a goat in leather bondage gear will raise some questions). So, just a smidgeon above what you can expect from a Tom & Jerry or Looney Tunes cartoon.
Three maps either come with the base game or are made available via free DLCs, but each of the priced DLCs unlocks a new map, and they only get bigger with each one.
I can easily recommend getting the base game (at a discount) but I'll leave it up to the player to decide on the DLCs.
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