In Progress Hatoful Boyfriend: I want to be a Pigeon!

[Radisshu]

This LP is like experiencing a fever dream

 

[IronicNeurotic]

I can't wait till this LP reaches the really awesome/weird stuff.

 

[LundB]

Student Council it is, then. This will be a pretty short update, but I didn't want to skip over the 'what student council position we should take' choice, since it might be important. I'll get the next update in pretty quickly after a decision has been made. Like the Shuu route, later updates will be longer.

: Have fun!

ED: Right now I'm still taking music, since it seem's we're after the aristocrat, and I figure he'd like charisma. If the Codex wants me to do another class, say so. Whatever is decided upon, I will do every time (since it seems spamming one stat is the way to go).

RK47 leveled up! Charisma increased by 5!

We skipped the vote, and I think it's only Sakuya and me.

ED: A two person Student Council? That sounds vaguely fami-- OH GOD NO IT CAN'T BE

Anyway, he called a meeting, so to the council-room I go!

Music: Prestigious

ED: Indeed, we shall rule the pitiful nobirdies that call this school home with an invisible hand, from our majestically furnished office.

: Hi, Sakuya. So, you had this done?

: Hmph! This room used to be filthy. Better suited to rabbits than to us.

What a prig!

ED: RK47-chan, don't reveal your low class upbringing so readily. Just because you live in a cave doesn't mean you need to act like it. Lie your way into high society! Hide your more contemptible interests and stuffies and thingies, in order to attain high social status!

: Have you decided which position you will take?

: I get to choose?

: Who is there to choose for you? Dumb peasant Japanese...

: Aren't you Japanese too, Sakuya?

: Do not mock me! I am French.

ED: Well I guess that explains why his [half?] brother Yuuya uses the occasional French word, other than being pretentious.

A French noblebird? ...that sounds delicious.

ED: Don't say that after what you did to his brother last route, RK47-chan... just don't.

I guess I have to pick a post now.

Are we Ambitious?
Are we Jewish?
Or
Are we Boring?

Let the Codex decide.

 

[Hellraiser]

Backstabber-in-chief or the man with all the jewgold. I'll go with backstabber-in-chief. Being a clerk is like saying you want to be everybody's bitch. We're here to rule the avian world from the shadows and romance pigeons not to do the dirty work.

RK-47 wants to be vice-president, anything less is an insult to our noble savage hunter-gatherer ancestry.

 

[Angthoron]

VP for fat corporate bonuses.

 

[Ion Prothon II]

RK-47 wants to be vice-president, anything less is an insult to our noble savage hunter-gatherer ancestry.

This. I want RK-47 to rule the world and to fuck little pigeons.

 

[LundB]

Music: Invisible Wing

: Hahaa! You've got nerve. I like that.

I think I just got bonded with... gosh, he looks pretty happy right now. And so I became vice president of the student council.

Oh! Tomorrow is the class hike! Should I prepare anything? We won't be going far, so I don't have to... Well, health first! I think I'll have some udon and go to sleep.

ED: I picked Sakuya, might as well, since we're on student council together. (Wanted this update to be longer)

: Unacceptable!

In a temper, as usual.

: Why! Why do I have to come to a place like this? And on foot!

: It's a hike, Sakuya! You have to walk.

: For what purpose? As exercise? Foolishness! Exercise is for peasants.

: No, for fun! You're supposed to enjoy the change of scenery. Look over here! Don't we have a nice view?

: ......

Sakuya looks like he still has something to say, but he reluctantly comes over to me. I think maybe he's acting angrier than he really is.

ED:

ED: Its an elective day, and since no one's expressed a desire to switch, I'm continuing to spam Music for Charisma.

ED:

: I wonder what those wigs felt like... they look like they're wearing ptarmigans on their heads.

ED: Sakuya is clearly too prestigious and for RK47's nonsense.

RK47 leveled up! Charisma increased by 5!

: The sports festival is right around the corner. Please think about what you'll do!

: Sports festival season already...?

: If it were in the fall it would conflict with the cultural festival, so it's always been in May.

: What are you going to do, Ryouta?

: I haven't decided, but... probably the three-legged race. Somebirdie has to.

: Cooo! (Okosan will handle the marathon! Indeed he will!)

: You do have a lot of stamina, Okosan... what about you, Sakuya?

: You can't possibly be expecting me to run in some race, can you?

: It is a sports festival. Is there an event that doesn't involve running...?

: How about being a cheerleader?

: The general, in other words... very well. Leave it to me.

ED: Yes, Sakuya, that is exactly what a cheerleader is.

: Umm... I don't think that's...

: Also, the first-aid team is always shorthanded, so I'm sure they could use help if anybirdie still can't decide. That's all for today.

Ryouta's doing the three-legged race, Okosan's running the marathon, and Sakuya's a cheerleader. Yuuya might be running the first-aid tent... What should I do? I'll have to think about it.

I never did make up my mind. What should I do?

I see Sakuya, and... a brass band? That's overdoing it. I think I saw something similar during the changing of the guard at Buckingham Palace.

: You're not cutting any corners, I see.

: Naturally not. Only the best from a Le Bel.

Horn: Sir! Preparations are complete, sir!

Tuba: Your orders, sir!

: Very well! Begin!

And so the band began to play. Where did he get these people? They all look like professionals. Shouldn't cheerleaders be students...?

ED: And, you know, leggy teenage girls, not a damn band?

: You! Join in!

: Umm, okay...

I seem to be in charge of the cymbals. One wrong slip, and I'll be the laughingstock of the playground! Yikes.

ED: If you manage to mess up CYMBALS, RK47-chan, you deserve to be the laughingstock of the playground.

Sakuya's conducting is awfully flashy. Is this the Le Bel style?

We're getting them back today... Aaaaah, I don't think I did too well.

: RK47!

: Yes!

: Hmm... I don't think you did too badly...

: Y-yes...?

: Not too... mmm... nope, sorry. You did badly.

: ...noooo...

: Try harder next time, okay?

I disappointed mister Nanaki... I'll have to study more from now on.

ED: Not gonna happen, we're too busy building our Charisma to worry about Intelligence! Being an expert liar means you're an expert at everything else, anyway.

With the festival and the midterm over, there's nothing to look forward to but summer heat. Doves smell kind of funny when it gets humid like this... Huh? There's a bunch of birds in front of the staffroom. What are they doing? Oh! There's Yuuya.

: Yuuya! What's going on?

: Salutations, RK47! Brian won his seventh Pulitzer!

He gestures at a news clipping on the staffroom pinboard. It says “Brian, the first Intelligent Pigeon, Crowned Again”.

: Brian..?

: Don't tell me you don't know who he is!?

: I think I've heard the name, but...

ED: Not only do birds go to school, but you can win 7 Pulitzers for blogging. This is a dark future indeed.

: He's a very skilled and insightful writer. He was the one who suggested that the dove olympics be called the 'Pigeolympics'. He's extremely influential – the name was adopted right away. Why don't you look him up right now, mon amie? Try Googling 'Brian Pigeon'.

ED: The blog is real: http://pigeonblog.wordpress.com. Entries from all the way back in 2005.

: Okay!

: Okay! ….uh oh, lunch is nearly over. Adieu, RK47!

There's a pile of overturned desks in the middle of the floor. Ryouta is overturned next to them. Rock doves' underwings and bellies are light, so they look pretty different upside-down...

: I mean, wait, what's going on!?

I look to see the two of them at each other's throats in the corner. I think we might have a diplomatic incident on our hands.

: ...what happened, Ryouta?

: Sakuya was making fun of Okosan... he called him a stupdi mongrel who only thinks about imaginary pudding, and said he was ashamed to be in the same class...

: That's terrible! I mean, Okosan is a nutcase and I don't know what he's saying half the time, but he really does like pudding!

: Either way, Okosan kind of went for the jugular, and...

: ...you tried to pull them apart, and Okosan used WING ATTACK on you?

: Y-yup... you're our only hope now, RK47...! Hgggckck.

: You tell me to take back my word? I shall not! A mongrel like you hasn't even the right to speak to me.

: Coooooo! (Okosan is not a mongrel!)

The battle still rages, and it looks like Ryouta's sacrifice was in vain.

Well, do we side with Sakuya, doubtless setting RK47-chan even more on his route?
Do we side with Okosan for the defense of Pudding?
Or do we tell them both to get their shit together if they want even a chance to slurp up this forest of human pussy?

 

[lightbane]

Scold them both, it's the only way.

 

[Hellraiser]

You cannot allow this degenerate lower-class filth to insult the nobility . Side with Sakuya.

 

[Lindblum]

Pussy route

 

[IronicNeurotic]

This LP is like experiencing a fever dream

I'm pretty sure this the plot of this game was thought of while stoned and then expanded upon afterwards and filled with all sorts of refrences/parodies.

There's a specific one which is yet to come (I think) which will floor you.

 

[Ion Prothon II]

This LP is like experiencing a fever dream

I'm pretty sure this the plot of this game was thought of while stoned and then expanded upon afterwards and filled with all sorts of refrences/parodies.

There's a specific one which is yet to come (I think) which will floor you.

Is it worse (for one's sanity points) than Dr Mengele Bad Ending?

 

[IronicNeurotic]

Ohhh, Dr. Shuu's bad ending is nothing compared to what comes later.

But no, I meant specifically a refrence to an actual website. You'll see why when we arrive at that point.

 

[Thor Kaufman]

Go for Oko and change routes.

 

[Ion Prothon II]

Okosan is a fag. Stand by sakuyia side and let that worm know his place.

 

[LundB]

Ok, before I do the next update: Store, Infirmary, or Cafeteria? I'll do what the first person to answer decides, because I want to get the update up quickly.

 

[Ulminati]

cafeteria

 

[LundB]

In this update, RK47 delivers somebirdie a beatdown. Also, a protection racket, and 2nd playthrough unlocks!

: Coo! (This is a matter between doves! Stay out of it, RK47!)

: You are a credit to your simian ancestry, RK47. I respect your judgement.

: Coooooooo...!

I catch Okosan and throw him out the window.

ED: Doesn't that mean you could have thrown Fat Doctor Shuu out a window too, instead of letting him kill you, RK47-chan? I guess you really did love him.

: Just because you're angry doesn't mean you can make a mess! Come back in when you're prepared to be civilized!

I wonder what I should do during break?

ED: Use the fearsome strength you just demonstrated to steal everyone's lunch money!

I think I'll eat at the cafeteria today.

ED: It's EXTORTION TIME!

ED: Half dead?

Yum! My favorite.

: Coo! (No! This is wrong! A fake! A vicious lie!)

A familiar voice indeed.

ED: Oh, not this guy again.

: Cooooo! (This is not pudding!)

: I know! You said! So come on, let's eat outside! We can't horse around in here!

: What's going on?

Not that I can't tell by looking.

: San saw the pudding here and went nuts. I stopped him from going on a rampage, but... Ow! Cut it out, Okosan!

: COOOOO!!! (Release me at once! My RAGE VOLTAGE is rising!)

: Help me, RK47!

ED: Normally I'd give a choice, but Okosan is just pissing me off, so screw him. RK47-chan, you're defending your bro Ryouta.

: Cooooo! (No! The beast-queen shows her true colors! Pull out! PULL OUT!)

Okosan rushes from the cafeteria like a rabbit from a catapult.

: Aaah! Safe at last. Thanks, RK47.

: No problem. All I did was shout at him, anyway.

: Apparently that was enough. Now we can all eat lunch without fear of disaster.

: Not so fast! It's high time you all pay a fee for... protection. Starting today. Cough it up, all of you!

ED: Another elective day, another music class. We get the one where San can sing really well again.

RK47 Leveled Up! Charisma increased by 5!

There's probably a bamboo tree in the plaza this year, too... I think I'll go make a wish.

ED: It appears we see different wishes this time. Choices and Consequences!

: What should I wish for?

Conquer the world by force could work, given our great and terrible hunter-gatherer strength.
Rule the world from the shadows seems most consistent with how we've been playing this route.
Become a famous artist seems like the most attainable goal I guess.

Well, those are our choices, so... wait a second...

"The mad love of a fallen angel"?! That didn't show up on our previous playthrough... could it be we've unlocked something previously hidden away?

Does RK47 take one of the previously available paths, or should we plunge her even further into the unknown (as if that were even possible)? Everybirdie, I need your input.

 

[Ulminati]

Did someone say mad? MAD!?!?

FOOLS! WE'LL SHOW THEM! WE'LL SHOW THEM ALL!

 

[Hellraiser]

Mad love of a fallen angel? Sounds like a man of wealth and taste

Go for that.

 

[Ion Prothon II]

D: Doesn't that mean you could have thrown Fat Doctor Shuu out a window too, instead of letting him kill you, RK47-chan? I guess you really did love him.

Now I see the game has some plot holes .
I say conquer the world with force. And we'll make Sakuya our second in command.

 

[Johannes]

Artiste, it goes well with the music studies

 

[lightbane]

I vote for the fallen angel option, if only to see what happens.

 

[Edward_R_Murrow]

The love is about to fall in!

 

[Thor Kaufman]

Fallen Angel obv