In Progress Hatoful Boyfriend: I want to be a Pigeon!

[LundB]

In this update, RK47-chan encounters a Fallen Servant of Heaven, escaped from the Demon Prison of Judecca. Or somebirdie like that.

Hatoful Boyfriend hit LundB for 43 Sanity Points! LundB is at risk of insanity!

: Oh, hello... is that you, RK47?

: Mister Nanaki!

: You should be careful out this late! It can be dangerous for a girl, you know.

ED: It's not like all the potential rapists are a fraction of your size and hollow-boned... oh wait.

:I was about to head home. Would you like me to walk you to your place?

ED: Sorry teach, RK47's got her eye on somebirdie else.

: Oh? Well, don't stay out too late!

Wasn't the Keymania IIDX public playtest starting today? Maybe I'll stop by the arcade...

ED: Elective day again. I'm going to keep on going to music classes, unless someone says otherwise.

: What am I supposed to be, the musical gorilla?

RK47 leveled up! Charisma increased by 5!

Finals are coming up and the glum depression is already setting in, but at least we won't have to swelter in the classroom all afternoon... why is a school this famous even stingier with its air conditioning than a public school, anyway?

: RK47!

: Ryouta?

: Have you had lunch yet? I was about to go to the cafeteria. Want to come with me?

: Okay! I heard that they've expanded the menu, and I wanted to try it sometime. They have massacred ramen now!

: Is that like half-dead fried rice?

: Probably! And Oko--

[Crashing noises]

: What!? What's going on!?

I turn around to see a dove standing behind me, his chest stained a deep red.

I have no idea.

ED: Well, for once we're in the same boat, RK47-chan.

: Th-the blood! You're bleeding!

: ! My chest... You are...!

: Ryouta, I don't think he understands Japanese! We have to get him to the infirmary!

: Oh... don't worry. Look closely, he isn't hurt at all.

: What!? But the blood...

: He's the Luzon from the class next to ours. Their plumage just looks like that.

: What, really!?

: Correct. I am Higure Anghel, the Fallen Servant of God, stained with the Blood of Sin.

ED: Our wish! It got granted bros!

This impressively upholstered bird is Higure Anghel. He's in the class next to ours, so he must be another sophomore. That's an odd name... I wonder if he came from overseas, like Sakuya? His Japanese is kind of strange, too.

: Agh! The corruption spreads faster than I expected... I had hoped to find it before it came this far...! Sleeping Servant of the Heavens!

: Yes!?

Umm, he is talking to me, right?

: Time is slipping by. Judgement draws ever nearer! You must find The Truth by the Light of the Red Moo-- Gah! I must... last... a little longer...! Be silent, Crimson Breast...!

: You are hurt, aren't you!?

: Do not touch me! Farewell, Edel Blau of the Blue Sky. Fate decrees that we shall meet again!

He's gone. What was that all about?

: I think you've picked up a weird one, RK47.

: Hmm... let's go eat lunch!

: Pathetic, RK47. As expected of a mere mammal.

: Aren't you uncomfortable, too? I thought doves fared badly in the heat.

: Letting your weakness show in front of others is the mark of the vulgar class.

ED: Indubitably.

: Hmm... maybe I should take a leaf out of your book.

[Crashing noises, again]

Him again!

: ...who is this?

: I think he's named Anghel. He's the class eccentric next door.

: Hmph, another peasant. None of you have the right to even be in this school. Go back to the Phillipines and bang some coconuts together, why don't you?

ED:

: Luzon Bleeding-hearts are from the Phillipines?

That would be why they're called 'Luzon' Bleeding-hearts. The Phillipines have bananas, right? Now I want to call him 'Bananaman'.

ED: You too, RK47-chan? I guess it's to be expected, given your racism towards rock doves. (It's not their fault they're statistically more likely to become criminal punkgeons!)

Incidentally, Sakuya is about as unhinged as Angel, so maybe they should be friends.

ED: Sometimes I wonder about your intelligence, RK47-chan. I really do.

: I have no business with you, Hallowed Magician of White. Apostle of the Blue Sky!

: Yes!?

: Can you not... remember who I am?

Umm...

ED: The answer to this seems pretty obvious, given our wish, so I'm going to go ahead.

: Could you be... a fallen angel escaped from the Demonic Prison of Judecca!?

: ! ...have you awoken at last, Apostle Edel Blau!? We have but little time left. You must decide! Will you cross swords with me on the promised ground, or-- Agh..! No! Not now...!

: A-Anghel!?

He flies away down the corridor, in spite of my protests. What a busy bird.

: RK47!

: Sir!?

: You didn't do too badly... I think...

: Y-yes..?

: You... nevermind, you did badly. Sorry.

: ...noooo...

: Try harder next time, okay?

I disappointed Mr. Nanaki... I'll have to study more from now on.

ED: I guess going to only music classes didn't do wonders for our academics. C&C!

Today's the last day! It's been a semester already... Sometimes it seemed long, and sometimes it seemd short, but either way, it's summer now! I'll go return the books I have out from the library.

[more crashing noises]

: Hello, Anghel!

He appears like the Christmas Star, descending from the heavens.

: A gate to the other world? You mean--

He stares intently towards the end of the hallway.

: ...the infirmary?

: A mere disguise, Edel Blau. I sense a powerful, Evil Magic inside-- no doubt the Tree of Blight, Rufa of the Left Hand Path, has taken root within. Left alone, it will soon swallow the entire school. We must stop it now...!

ED:

I wonder how doctor Iwamine would react to an eccentric Filipino breaking down his door.

So everybirdie, shall we let the Fallen Servant of God break down Fat Doctor's door? Serves the bastard right for killing poor RK47 last route.

Or should we bide our time, and tell Anghel to wait until better prepared to attack the Great Enemy?

 

[Hellraiser]

As we all know it is totally in character for RK47 to pick the EXTREME choice of storming in right now.

 

[IronicNeurotic]

Go in.

 

[Tsukasa Buddha]

Agents of the Tree of Blight and the Left Hand have infiltrated this thread. Time is not yet come! Soon this thread will be immersed in thingies and stuff. I feel the sudden urge to talk about my strict gender roles.

Haven't you guys played enough dating sims to know to not go for the quick and easy answer?

 

[Thor Kaufman]

Kicking the door in now is probably not a wise idea (or maybe that's what THEY want you to think) so go for it.

 

[IronicNeurotic]

Haven't you guys played enough dating sims to know to not go for the quick and easy answer?

Hatoful Boyfriend is not really your typical dating sim.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Be EXTREME... and die.

 

[LundB]

In this tiny update, RK47 makes the mistake of letting somebirdie else be EXTREME without her.

: Aah... farewell, Edel Blau! We shall meet again at the promised place.

: Now, show yourself, Tree of Darkness!

ED: Slurp that forest of darkness up Anghel!

Anghel rushes into the infirmary, the door slamming behind him.

ED: Go in after him!

Bros, do we continue on, and maybe try desperately to claw back onto another bird's route (risking another death by Hawk party, unless we can get Sakuya to take us back after seeing us hang out with peasant filth), or do we betray the whole Consequences part of C&C, and just try the other option, to stay on the Fallen Angel route?

 

[IronicNeurotic]

The other option. I seem to have misremembered that part.

 

[Hellraiser]

Alas poor lucifer, we knew him well. Also doesn't the prestigious bro still like us? We have a world to rule from the shadows with him.

C&C is the true codexian choice, HAWK party deathsquads be damned.

 

[Edward_R_Murrow]

It is not yet his appointed time. The Great Will says screw consequences, I HAVE OMNIPOTENCE!

 

[Johannes]

Shit happens, just aim for the frenchy as planned.

 

[LundB]

The vote is tied right now. Unacceptable. I'd prefer to get another update out within the next few hours.

Whoever votes next decides it. Who will answer the call to power?

 

[Monstrous Bat]

Accept the result.

 

[Lumpy]

I seriously can't read this without my brain hurting.

 

[LundB]

I seriously can't read this without my brain hurting.

The pain goes away, but it is replaced by... something else.
===========================================================================
The Codex is prepared to put its money where its mouth is and embrace C&C, even if it causes the death of a potential pigeon love. Uncompromisingly true to our ideals, to the bitter end. So yeah, RK47 just killed Anghel.

A hunter-gatherer's body is her way of life, so maybe I'll go running today!

ED: These images just flashed by while RK47 was running, but I paused for screens. Living in a cave, those skyscrapers... is this a post-apocalyptic game? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, I HAD JUST MANAGED TO DESENSITIZE MYSELF TO EVERYONE BEING A PIGEON AND NOW IT'S GETTING WEIRDER WHAT THE HELL HATOFUL BOYFRIEND.

A true Running Girl's way to start vacation!

: I wonder how far I ran... I always lose track of where I'm going once the runner's high kicks in....

...where am I? I must have wandered out of my usual stomping ground at some point. Which way did I come from..?

: Don't fail me now, paleolithic homing instincet..!

The sun's setting. I'd rather not sleep outside...

: Hey, you.

: ?

Music: Enter Sparrow

A sparrow stands next to me, squinting up at my face.

It looks a little bit vintage. How cute! I feel a strange pressure... I can tell right away that this sparrow isn't just anybirdie.

ED: That strange pressure is called an erection, RK47-chan.

: Umm, I'm from St. Pigeonation's. I was out on a run and got lost.

: You ran all the way from there? You must be good. It's about a two hour drive from here.

: What!?

I guess that's why my legs hurt!

: Aaah... I wonder if I'll be able to run home again...

: Hmm. I like the cut of your jib... Anybirdie that determined deserves a ride home. Come on.

The intimidating sparrow gestures at her scooter. It's a little small, but we should both fit... I think..?

: Th-thank you! Umm... may I ask your name?

: Koshiba Azami. I sell takoyaki. Call me Azami.

: Then thank you, Azami!

: You're a very... cautious driver.

: Carve it into your soul, kid! One accident is all it would take, and that would be the end of our lives. It may seem strange to a young girl like you, but... once you've lost someone, you'll understand.

There is a far-off look in her eyes. I'm sure she knows what she's talking about, but at this rate I might get home faster by walking!

: Do you think we'll get there by dawn...?

: Carve it into your soul! The speed limit for scooters is 30 kilometers per hour!

: We're not even going that fast!

: Following traffic laws is part of my credo!

: Isn't riding tandem against the law, too?

: That rule is for humans. Birds are light, so one or two more doesn't stop the brakes from working. We're fine like this.

But I'm not a bird... And so we putted along at Azami's hyper-cautious speed. By the time we got to my house, it was almost light out...

Maybe I should apply for a part-time job, since I have the chance?

So, everybirdie? Should RK47-chan find gainful employment, or do nothing this summer?

ED: Since the only main storyline bird we encounter if we get a job is Ryouta, and we're not on his route, I'm just going to skip getting a job this time around.

Slacking off and having fun is more the highschooler thing to do. Wheeee!

ED: Great work ethic you have there, RK47-chan.

ED: Since he's our best chance of avoiding death by New World Order assassin, we'll take Sakuya, ok RK47?

: You've got nerve, to call me out during vacation. What is it?

: Oh, right! You just moved here, so you wouldn't have known. Today's the festival! Let's go together!

: Festival? What's that?

: You'll understand when you see it. Come on!

: Shops! Food! Good fun all around!

: People can't possibly be eating food prepared like this! It's... It's unsanitary! It's madness!

: Don't worry! There haven't been any reports of food poisoning for two years!

: So there were reports three years ago!?

: Yup!

Guiding the panic-stricken Sakuya around the festival is a little troublesome, but hilarious nonetheless. And so the night wears on...

: Huh? When did you buy that candy apple, Sakuya?

: They had an interesting color, so I thought I would buy one. I'm not going to eat it. I shall take it home and mount it in a case.

ED: Sure, that's totally believable. You act like you look down on this food, but I bet you've eaten it at least seven times.

I slept way too late! School starts today, right? I'm gonna be late!

: Oh, hello, RK47!

: Sir! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I overslept!

: Overslept..?

: ...aaah! My homework! I forgot to bring my homework!

: Aren't you getting a little ahead of yourself, RK47?

: Huh?

: What's the number in the top left-hand corner say?

: Oooh...

: You're just a little bit early.

: Waaah...

: Though, since you're here... could you lend me a hand for a bit, RK47?

: Lend you a hand?

: I was about to start grading the freshmen's exams, and I thought maybe you could help, if you don't have something else... of course, you have a test in September, so if you want to go and study in the library...

So should we help grade freshman exams with Mr. Nanaki, like a helpful little RK47-chan?
Should we study in the library to get smarter, and maybe see library bird again?
Or should we return to RK47-chan's glorious, majestic, cave of an abode?

So the same question applies. Do we want to go to the library like last time, try helping the teacher, or return to our wonderful home?

 

[IronicNeurotic]

I strongly suggest doing the Anghael route later anyway.

You're missing out on one of the game's best moments.

 

[Radisshu]

So I think I'm gonna smoke and then re-read this

 

[Hellraiser]

Go to our glorious abode, reading is for the 99%!

 

[IronicNeurotic]

So I think I'm gonna smoke and then re-read this

Don't go too hard on yourself. Only a little bit of the really awesome/weird stuff has happened so far.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Go back to the abode to shelter from the incoming EXTERMINATUS!

 

[SerratedBiz]

Only a little bit of the really awesome/weird stuff has happened so far.

You're missing out on one of the game's best moments.

Ohhh, Dr. Shuu's bad ending is nothing compared to what comes later. You'll see why when we arrive at that point.

There's a specific one which is yet to come (I think) which will floor you.

I can't wait till this LP reaches the really awesome/weird stuff.

You'll get what exactly those are the more you play through.

I just want to repeat. There is backstory to ALL of what is happening.

Buahahahahhahaah You ain't seen nothing. NOTHING. (And there's a insane backstory to ALL of this). Theres another ending that actually continues after that

Am I the only one that's starting to find this annoying?

 

[LundB]

In this update, RK47 visits a haunted house, debates about the Japanese educational system, finds out an unexpected person is famous, and does some social climbing.

But first, she decides to go home instead of helping out her teacher.

: Oh? Have fun! I'll see you tomorrow.

: Coo! (Okosan is always having fun!)

: Yup, yup.

: What is this "fun"?

ED: This guy sure thinks he's . He probably posts on the Codex.

: Once summer's over, time starts slipping by faster than ever. Try to stay focus.......ed....zzz

: Focus, sir! Focus!

: A student ID?

Whose is it? Someone from 2-2? ...not a name I recognize. Should go find their classroom? They might already have gone home, though... Well, any teacher will do, right?

ED: Much better choice this time around, RK47-chan.

: ...zzzzzz.

: SIR!!

: Oh! Hello, RK47. Did you forget to turn in your homework...?

: I found someone's ID card, sir. It's someone from 2-2... I thought I should take it here.

: Oh? Thank you, RK47, I can take care of it... huh?

: What is it?

: Nothing, just... you did find this today, right, RK47?

: Yes. In the corridor just outside...

: This student has been absent since the middle of June... how strange.

So then, was the card lying there all summer? Nobirdie noticed it? It's awfully clean, though... shouldn't it at least be dusty?

: Anyway, I'll take care of it. Thank you, RK47.

ED: Another elective day, another music class.

RK47 Leveled Up! Charisma increased by 5!

: We'll start looking at some new formulas next time, so try to read ahead, okay?

: Hmph. The lassitude of Japan's educational system never ceases to amaze me.

: You don't like mister Nanaki's classes, Sakuya?

: What do you think? And I'm not just talking about the math. Not only is attendance at this school mandatory, but everything it covers is infantile. It bores me to tears.

: Hey, at least mister Nanaki won't chew you out for snoozing in class, right?

: I don't think that's the issue here, Ryouta...

: Look at Okosan! He conked out as soon as we took attendance.

: Coo... (zzz...)

: Exactly! These pathetic teaching practices destroy the students' motivation and interest. No wonder nobirdie takes school seriously.

: But isn't mister Nanaki a big name in science? I mean, I'm not really that well informed, but... I don't think it's very nice to go around piddling on him, Sakuya...

: We know his capabilities as a teacher quite well, RK47. Do you mean to say that we should respect and obey him simply because he is a teacher? His fame is merely on the national level, anyway.

ED: For a scientist, being well known even to high school students is impressive, even at the national level. Nanaki must be a pretty smart bird underneath the narcolepsy.

: The only world-renowned professor here would be doctor Iwamine.

ED: Fat Doctor, our former lover and murderer, is world-famous!?

: Eh!? The doctor is that well-known!?

: I never heard about that.

: Cooooooo...! (It is Okosan's pudding...! ...zzz...)

: I am surrounded by ignoramuses and fools...! He is one of the world's greatest authorities on pathology. His name is known the world over. Anyway, Nanaki does not even come close.

ED: Well, when you don't let the ethics of human/avian experimentation stand in your way, you can get some serious science done. Perhaps his 'experiments' weren't just an excuse for murder, and actually have caused major breakthroughs.

I never knew the doctor was that famous... But then, why's he working as the doctor for a highschool? Even if it is a prestigious one.

Isn't 2-4 doing a haunted house? I'm well known for my reckless nature, so maybe I'll go and scream a little bit. I think... Sakuya's free today, too, isn't he? Maybe I should invite him along?

ED: I don't want to get terminated by agents of the Hawk Party again, so RK47's taking Sakuya, no question.

: Sakuya!

: Do you need something?

: You're free today, right? Want to go look at 2-4's haunted house?

: Haunted house? A waste of time. Nothing but a foolish charade of commoners, by commoners, and for commoners.

: How do you know if you don't go? And besides, isn't keeping an eye on the unwashed masses part of a noblebird's job?

: Erp... I suppose it might have some value. Since I have no other pressing matters to which I must attend, I shall accompany you.

: A haunted mansion!

: What on earth is that? Will we be attacked by hostile ninjas?

: Nooo! That would be a ninja mansion.

: ...but my nurse told me that any mansion is bound to have ninjas lying in wait inside.

: It's like a tiny theme park! With a ghost theme! Hence, 'haunted'!

: How foolish. No doubt it has nothing but tricks to scare mere children. We shall enter.

: Oh! Hey, wait!

: I-I can't see! Why is it dark in here!?

: Oh, right... you can't see in the dark, can you?

ED: Hominid supremacy!

: Aaaaaagh! I-I stepped on somehting nasty!

[hitting noise]

: N-no! Stop! Unhand me, knave! Aaaagh! AAAAIIIEEEEEEEEE!

ED: Rape ghosts?

: Sakuya, calm down! Noooo! You're not supposed to kick the poor ghosts!

[sounds of deadly combat]

: Let me goooooooooooo!

...I've never seen him this worked up before. Anyway, I'm glad he enjoyed it... I think?

Solo tests always make me nervous, but they can be fun, too. I sang well today! We have physics next, right?

: ...huh?

Sakuya is standing in the music room, staring at the instrument rack.

: What's wrong, Sakuya?

: What... do you think of the arts, miss RK47?

: The arts...?

Where did that come from?

: Surely one such as yourself has an opinion of some kind What do you think of the arts?

: Umm, well... I'm not really sure it's something I could put into words, just like that.

: Dostoyevsky once said that an artist is a man who turns his ear inwards, and writes down with zeal what he hears... such a common idea.

He looks angst-ridden.

ED: NO. NO ANGST. There's a reason we're dating pigeons, not cripples, RK47-chan.

I wonder if something happened...?

Music: Mystery Piano

: Hmm...?

I can hear somebirdie playing the piano in the music room at the end of the hall. Who...?

I recognize him. It's...

: Sakuya...?

: ! How long have you been there? Were you spying on me? How unpleasant.

: No! I just came over here. It sounded beautiful... I never knew you could play! I'm amazed you can practice and still study enough to get such good grades, Sakuya.

: Of course. A noble must be versed in all fields! Though I doubt one such as you can understand the art.

: It sounded wonderful.

: ...hmph.

: Oh! I'm distracting you. Sorry! I'll go now, so don't mind me.

: ...RK47.

: Huh?

: What do you love?

ED: Crippled girls. Preferably blond, blind, and tolerant of serious inanity and idiocy.

: ...why this all of a sudden?

: Tell me.

: Hmm... udon, I guess.

: Udon? Truly?

: Yup! I eat it every day.

: I see... I see. Thank you.

: ? Okay... bye, Sakuya.

And so I left him sitting deep in thought. What was that all about?

: RK47!

: Sir!

: You're getting better. Keep it up!

: Yes, sir!

Oh, I got a letter. In a fancy envelope! Who's it from...?

“We are holding a Christmas party at the Le Bel mansion on the twenty-fourth of this month. You are invited. Be honored.” --Sakuya Le Bel Shirogane

Yaaay! I got a heartwarming invitation! My family's Buddhist, so I hadn't had anything planned... I might as well go, right?

ED: A party in a mansion? We're moving up in the world, RK47-chan!

: Hohoho! What do you think, RK47? Normally a commoner such as yourself would never set foot in here.

: I-it's amazing, Sakuya...!

This whole thing is far removed from my own uncultured, stone-age lifestyle. I feel a little nervous!

: Do you have a party like this every year?

: Every year? Don't be absurd! We have one every month. Creating a habitat for social discourse is a noble's duty, after all.

: That seems a little tiresome...

: Are you feeling overwhelemed already? Poor, foolish commo--

[crashing noises]

: Coooo!!!!

Thats...

: Coooo! (This establishment lacks pudding!)

: Oko, you mangy dog! Why are you here!? I never invited you!

: Cooooo! (Okosan sensed a feast, and came in through the window! But there is no pudding!)

: I wouldn't give any to you even if I did have some! Confound you, you genetic throwback!

Okosan's going to go berserk, at this rate.

So, do we let Okosan wreck the party?
Or do we use our brute hunter-gatherer strength to put an end to his disruptive search for pudding?

 

[Edward_R_Murrow]

Stop him in the name of all that is monocled.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Beat the crap out of pudding-bird.