In Progress Hatoful Boyfriend: I want to be a Pigeon!

[lightbane]

Moar, the decline must not stop!!

 

[Thor Kaufman]

 

[RK47]

Here his wife is injured and the condition is fatal. She was hit by a car as she swooped down the road.

He brought food and attended to her with love and compassion.

He brought her food again, but was surprised to find her dead. He tried to move her …. an effort rarely seen, the swallows!

Aware that his beloved fellow has died and he will never see her again, Cries with adoring love.

He stood beside her, sad for her death.

Finally, aware that he would never make her come back, standing next to her body with sadness and pain.

 

[Oriebam]

 

[RK47]

And dinner is served.

 

[LundB]

Wow, it's been 18 days. Sorry bros, first I was busy, and then there was Binary Domain to play and finish. However, now I have seen the light, and have once again gotten my priorities straight. Romancing pigeons is important, after all. So I'm making this a very large update.
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If you've forgotten what's going on, just read the previous update again or something. Fuck recaps. Time to spy on Yuuya's class' Butler Cafe
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They have all this, and we're stuck in a classroom!? I think we've already lost in terms of location...

ED: Yeah, and I remember from last time that your 'maids' are mainly male birds crossdressing, so you're not going to get the 'sex sells' benefit of a maid cafe. Nobirdie wants to see what your class is offering, RK47-chan...

ED: Look how classy your man is, RK-chan. You should be proud.

: Yuuya!

: How kind of you to come see m... Wait, no... Welcome back, my lady. Please, come this way.

Oh! He does look good. I think I'm blushing.

: Y-you're not fooling anyone, Yuuya! You say that to everybirdie, right?

: It is my duty, for today. Please forgive me, my lady.

: Geez!

: What's your class doing, mon amie?

: A maid cafe.

: Well, well! I suppose that makes us rivals. You've certainly done a good job of infiltrating our base, I must say.

MAIDS VS BUTLERS: Battle of the Schoolground. ...I think it's a bit much.

: You're not on duty today? Or ar you taking a break?

: I'm on duty tomorrow.

: I see. In that case, I shall come witness your maidery. I will, of course, ask for you.

ED: Good call Yuuya, you don't want a crossdressing Okosan to be your maid.

RK: I will await your return, master ~☆!

It doesn't seem like a particularly dirty room, but for some reason, they always run out really quickly.

ED:

Yuuya went ahead, and I can't keep him waiting. Blast off at the speed of light! To the maintenance office and beyond!

????

I hadn't expected mister One, the quiet, foppish bird with a cult following, to get along with the infamous studmuffin Sakazaki Yuuya!

: ...but I don't think we'll find any evidence.

: Right. I'll check out the others.

: Yuuuyaaaaaa!

: Salutations, mon amie! I was waiting for you. Here, I'll take the heavy stuff, you take the broom.

: ...that is that, then.

Mister One retreats into his lair with an unsociable expression.

: Mister One seems like kind of a loner. I wonder if it's part of the job description.

: He's a nice fellow, once you get to know him. I think his taciturn nature does him great injustice, personally.

: You're friends with him?

: I do have a lot of opportunities to talk to him, yes. It was only to be expected.

He starts carrying the supplies down the hall, ending the conversation. Somehow I feel like he doesn't want to talk about it. Hmm...

ED: Majors? In high school? This post apocalyptic bird-future you live in is strange indeed RK-chan.

I wonder if Yuuya's already decided on his? Maybe I'll ask him for some advice.

: Yeah, he was here this morning. Dunno where he went.

: D-doesn't he attend class?

: He's never been particularly serious, no. He isn't even here half the time... I don't think he's planning to go on to university, is he?

I never realized! Hmm... if he is still here, he's probably at the infirmary or the shop. I'll go to the shop first. We didn't have infirmary duty today, and my hunter-gatherer instincts are telling me he's there.

: ! Hello, mon amie. You startled me.

That was easier than I expected. He's acting kind of weird, though... he isn't shoplifting, is he?

: Are you busy right now? I wanted to talk to you...

: Uh, sure... here.

: Waah!

He takes my hand and runs from the store.

: Are you excited?

: N-no!

: Oh well. Why'd you come and talk to me, mon amie? Were you drawn to my sexy aura?

ED: Wow, the 'sexy aura' stuff doesn't even make me any more. What has this game done to my mind RK-chan?

: No, I just wanted to talk to you about career plans and stuff...

: You've always been a diligent girl, RK47. You know hanging around me is dangerous, though? You won't get off with just a scratch.

: What do you mean?

: Well, you might get...

: ?

ED: That's not very romantic, Yuuya.

: I-I don't know what you're talking about, Yuuya.

: Don't think too hard! I mean exactly what I said. I'm going to disappear from this school soon, mon amie... I know it isn't easy, but you should... forget about me. That'll be for the best.

His tone of voice is as carefree as ever, but his eyes are dead serious. I don't think he's joking...

: Kind of hard to swallow, isn't it? How about this-- I'll tell you something neat, as a parting gift... You know the rumors that missing students end up as meat in the cafeteria, and quill pens in the shop?

: ??? Well...

: Why do you think I'm so forward, mon amie? And why do you think I work in the infirmary? Live a happy, honest life. Adieu!

: Y-Yuuya! Wait!

ED:

: RK47!

: Sir!

: You're getting better. Keep it up!

: Yes, sir!

It's the first day of the new year. Looks like I'm still alive to enjoy it! It's a little cold out, but it's calm and the sun is warm. I think I'll go visit the shrine.

I think I'll buy an amulet and go home.

: !?

ED: I'm not even surprised by Ryouta crossdressing any more. That's a bad sign.

: Happy new year! Here's to many happy returns, right?

: What are you doing, Ryouta?

: Exactly what it looks like! I'm working here today and tomorrow.

: O-oh... it looks good on you...!

: You came here to buy an amulet, right? Which would you like?

: Here you go!

: Thanks, Ryouta! Are you here all day today?

: Yup! The first day's always busy.

: Oh, well. I was going to ask if you wanted to get lunch together, but...

: Sorry, RK47. Maybe another time? Since you're here, why not go get a fortune? They're next to the main building, over there.

: Okay! Thanks. See you, Ryouta!

...

: Hmmm...

: Mister Nanaki! Happy new year!

: Oh, hello, RK47. Happy new year.

: Did you get a fortune, sir?

: Yes. Unfortunately, I seem to have drawn the chicken of ill omen... why don't you take one?

: I will!

Hmm, which should I take...? ...This one!

: Good, you got a better one than I did. I think this will be a good year for you, RK47.

: Thank you, sir!

Wait, isn't that...?

ED: PLEASE DON'T LET IT BE DOCTOR AGAIN. YUUYA BETTER HAVE FUCKING SURVIVED PAST WINTER BREAK THIS TIME.

ED:

: Happy new salutations, mon amie!

: It is you! Happy new salutations to you, too.

: Aah, to meet you on the first day of the new year! A good omen indeed.

: Did you come alone?

: Not... exactly, no. I was looking for someone, but... I seem to have lost sight of them.

You're just as suspicious as always, Yuuya.

: But, I've found you instead, so I can't say this was a wild goose chase, mon amie. I shall go thank the gods of this shrine for this fated encounter. Adieu!

And so he sauntered off with a dashing wave. I guess he was in a hurry.

: I hope you all had good vacations? I hibernated.

: What a shocker.

: ...zzz...

: You're still hibernatING! Sir, wake up!

: Oh! Umm, I've said this before, but your junior year will be over before you know it. Let's enjoy this time while it lasts!

There's nothing special this semester... Nothing to worry about!

Oh! Tomorrow's Legumentine's! I think I'll buy some beans. Today, Legumentine's is a holiday where you give beans to the boy you like, but apparently it used to involve throwing them at pigeons. Disgraceful!

: Yes. Is there a kind that you think is particularly good?

: This year's trend is towards these bean medleys for racers, but they are a little pricey. It's hard to say without knowing the bird in question, really.

: Hmm... that's true. And sometimes the cheap ramen tastes better than the expensive stuff.

ED: Giver Yuuya some Bitter Black Beans, RK-chan. Say it symbolizes the bitterness and pain in your heart when he told you to forget him, or some shit like that.

: I'll take these!

: Thank you miss. Here you are.

Today's the day. The preparations are complete! Time to give the beans to that special somebirdie.

I guess I'll have to call him!

: Salutations! Mon amie?

He answered!

: Hello! How are you, Yuuya? Where are you right now?

: I'm fine, but alas, I cannot say where I am. The best men always have a mystery or two thousand, after all. Do you need me for something?

: Umm, could we meet up for a bit? Please! I'll only ask this once!

: A once in a lifetime request, in other words? Really?

: A once in a lifetime (plus plenty more times in the same lifetime) request!

ED: Oh RK-chan, you conniving little harlot.

: Well, that sounds important. I can't exactly say no, now can I! Shall we meet at the usual place in the park tonight, say at eight?

: Okay!

: Time spent waiting for a lady is magical, irreplaceable time. Pay it no mind, mon amie. Unfortunately, I do not have much time left today. Forgive my lack of romance, but may I ask what you wanted to meet with me for?

: Oh, yes! It's Legumentine's so I wanted to give you this.

: You wanted to give me beans, mon amie?

: Yes!

: Aah, how wonderful! I am glad I risked my life to come here.

: I thought maybe your mature, manly spirit would like these.

: Bitter black beans! Thank you, mon amie. I have loved these since I was but a child. Had I told you that?

: Nope! But my hunter-gatherer instincts never fail.

: I see. I wonder if we truly are bound together by fate! How romantic. This gives me hope and caffeine to carry me through this darkest of nights. Adieu, mon amie!

And so he disappeared into the night. I can't say I have any more of an idea what he's up to than I ever do, but I'm glad he liked the beans!

I haven't seen Yuuya for weeks. Apparently he hasn't come to school all semester... There are rumors that he dropped out, but could that really be true? I feel like a hole has opened up in my heart. I think I'll go drown my sorrows in arcade games.

: Yuuya!?

: ...mon amie!? Y-you look like you're doing pretty well! I, uh, have some stuff to do. Adieu!

: H-hey, w-w-w-w-w-w-w-wait!

: ! U-uh, RK47, could you not grab me so tightly?

!

: Yuuya, is your wing bro...

: LOOK OUT!

[GUNSHOT]

MUSIC: Revelations

!? A gunshot!?

: Opening fire on a lady!? Such insufferable cads they are. This way, mon amie, RUN!

: Yuuya, what's going on? Please, explain yourself! What are you? Why are people trying to kill you? Are you a wanted man!?

: I... suppose I can't really say you're not involved anymore, can I. It's time I explained.

ED: Hawk Party!? Those fuckers who always kill us when you don't romance a bird properly!? RK47-chan, it looks like we're finally going to get some answers!

: The political factions?

: Right. They were names used in human politics, but now they carry a different meaning. The Dove Party believes we should live peacefully with the remaining humans, while the Hawk Party believes we should exterminate them to make room for birds.



ED: Well this confirms our suspicions that something semi-apocalyptic happened to most of humanity. But... if Hawk Party wants all humans dead, why do they only kill us if we don't romance a bird? What's the purpose of a 'human goodwill ambassador'? Answers make questions.

: St. Pigeonation's is not just a school. It's also a secret experimental institute created by the Hawks.

Wh... what!?

: Of course, it's not like the entire faculty is working for them. There's only one Hawk agent actually working at the school.

ED: I guess that confirms that it was the Hawk Party that Shuu betrayed by stealing your head in his 'good' end. WTF is going on here?

: By contrast, I was despatched by the Doves to infiltrate the school and investigate the experiments.

: I imagine you've already realized why I was acting as a helper in the infirmary.

ED: You're not that retarded, RK-chan. Obviously it's the Doctor.

: Correct. 'Iwamine Shuu' is no doubt an assumed name. He's a researcher for the Hawk Party, and has been developing biological weapons using data collected during physical examinations. Remember when we bumped into each other at the school shop?

ED:

: Yes, I think we...

: I was investigating where the products sold there come from. I found that DNA samples from the pens there matched samples taken from missing students. Same goes for much of the poultry in the cafeteria.

: ! Th-that's... horrible... But, if the doctor was out to exterminate humans, why did he never do anything to me?

: Hmm... this is just my interpretation, but I don't think he holds any political ideals. I think he trusts solely in his own knowledge, and his own power to expand that knowledge.

: So he works not out of loyalty, but the opportunity to be freed from moral constraints?

: Exactly. I suppose it never occurred to him to target you, since you were working for him. I think he was more interested in observing your interactions with the other students.

MUSIC: The Pigeon Who Loved Me

: I wanted to reveal the Hawks' involvement in the school, but... In the end, it proved too much for me alone. And now, well... I can no longer live in the open. I plan to leave this city tonight. But I can't leave just yet. I don't know if I can... just leave you here, RK47.

: Yuuya...

: You may have already been marked as one of my associates, and if that is the case, then leaving you alone would be dangerous... I'm sorry I got you involved in all this, mon amie.

: Hardly! I was the one who approached you. You don't need to apologize.

: Ahahahaha, you're such a nice girl. Thank you. Hmm...

ED: Deciding to stay just gets you killed by the Hawk Party. I guess Yuuya's fellow agents aren't skilled as bodyguards, RK-chan. Anyway, how could you ever choose not to follow your love?

: I want to go with you.

: Are you sure? You may be putting your life at risk.

: Don't make me say it twice.

: Aah... I was hoping you'd say that. I haven't been this happy in... a long time. There's nothing more keeping us here, then. Let us go, mon amie.

Sometime in the future, a pair of spies and their endless battle for justice behind the frail curtain of society will pass into legend... But that's another story.

And the credits begin to roll.

What I find most terrifying about this is that if those are just the revelations you get during a normal route, WHAT SORT OF UNGODLY HORRORS WILL WE DISCOVER ON THE SECRET ROUTE THAT REVEALS THE FULL TRUTH?

Anyway, now we can do either Teacher Kazuaki, Childhood Friend Ryouta, or Library Recluse Nageki. Which is next bros? Only those 3 before the final secret route is unlocked!

 

[RK47]

 

[lightbane]

I think that what RK was trying to say is that the Teacher would be a good idea.

 

[Thor Kaufman]

Good stuff.
Go for Nageki next

 

[IronicNeurotic]

Teacher-san

 

[Oriebam]

how do you get to this part of game

Just found this earlier...

 

[LundB]

how do you get to this part of game

Just found this earlier...

Bro that's clearly one of Yuuya's fellow secret agents. It's a different game in the series.

 

[lightbane]

^^
Better than the vanilla Doom 3, if only for the open spaces and the actual lightning effects.
I wonder what kind of crazy reports will we get now...

 

[IronicNeurotic]

What I find most terrifying about this is that if those are just the revelations you get during a normal route, WHAT SORT OF UNGODLY HORRORS WILL WE DISCOVER ON THE SECRET ROUTE THAT REVEALS THE FULL TRUTH?

Anyway, now we can do either Teacher Kazuaki, Childhood Friend Ryouta, or Library Recluse Nageki. Which is next bros? Only those 3 before the final secret route is unlocked!

We will have a lot more on that route I can promise you that.

But how does the old saying go? "The truth may be a lot simpler than it initially appears"

Keep that in mind while embarking on this route LundB-san. It may help you keep a fraction of your sanity.

 

[Thor Kaufman]

 

[Thor Kaufman]

 

[lightbane]

So, where's the update?

 

[LundB]

So, where's the update?

I've been very busy lately, preparing to move to Asia for a few months. When I haven't been busy, I've been either doing trolls or having a social life in the outside world.

Luckily travel prep is starting to wind down, as is the troll colouring. Expect some sort of update tomorrow or Friday. Or today, if things go surprisingly quickly (they never do).

 

[LundB]

Yes, this is a very weak 'update'. I actually feel kind of bad about it. Bad enough that I'll probably do a real one tomorrow, but this time I'm not going to make a promise that I might not keep. Hopefully once I actually start the route, I'll get some momentum going. I still do want to figure out wtf is going on.

Which brings us to... CONSPIRACY!

Previous conspiracy post. With links to all the others

Hmm. Even though we know the Hawk Party is probably involved with this, I still have no clue what this means.

 

[Azira]

Pigeon Corporation

 

[Helly]

Forgot to put that here:

 

[Oriebam]

now every time I look at a pigeon IRL I think of zoophilia

 

[Canus]

We're so close. Just a little more until the secret ending.

 

[Edward_R_Murrow]

So I guess Hitchcock's The Birds is canon in this game?

 

[lightbane]

So, what about an update?