In Progress Hatoful Boyfriend: I want to be a Pigeon!

[IronicNeurotic]

I'll remind you of this in a dozen pages or so

Basically this.

 

[LundB]

He looks kind of nice in human form.

However, since he's actually a bird (the game says the human portraits are the result of special software that interprets what even the birdiest of birds would look like as humans), this is irrelevant. RK47 is romancing a fat partridge, not an animu man. Nothing can change this. Also, I'm glad to see another Shuu avatar. The more pigeon avatars there are, the worse RK will get. I'm sure it will have an effect on my sanity too, at some point, but for now my psychic defenses are holding against the warp's influence.

STOP USING THOSE FUCKING AVIAN INDEFINITE PRONOUNS FFS

No.
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In this update, RK47 gets to decide whether or not to fuck somebirdie over. Whether or not she does it is anybirdie's guess.

: Oh? Well, don't stay out too late!

Wasn't the Keymania IIDX public playtest starting today? Maybe I'll stop by the arcade...

ED: I'm going to keep on going to music classes, unless someone says otherwise.

: What am I supposed to be, the musical gorilla?

RK47 leveled up! Charisma increased by 5!

Cleaning the classroom took longer than usual. I need to hurry to the infirmary!

: What is it? I'm in a bit of a hurry...

: Nothing much. Just... have you heard of the seven mysteries of St. Pigeonation's, RK47?

: This school even has its own horror stories? Do tell.

: Yeah. Well... there's one that says that sometimes students will disappear in the infirmary only to show up again as food in the dining hall and quill pens in the school store.

ED: As a member of the infirmary staff, this is a major slur on our heroine's professional conduct.

: Sounds like an urban legend to me.

: It does, but... Doctor Iwamine is pretty suspicious. Be careful, okay?

: You go to the infirmary a lot, right? Has he ever done anything to you?

: No, but... Well, you're a girl, RK47. I'm a little worried.

ED: He's just jealous that you love the Fat Doctor, RK-chan. Typical 'nice guy' childhood friend behaviour. Don't let it stand in the way of true pigeon love.

: That's true. I'll be careful.

Ryouta always has been one to overthink things. Anyway, can't keep Yuuya waiting!

Huh? Yuuya and the doctor are talking about something.

Music: Shit's going down.

: You sure look like you woke up on the wrong side of the nest. What are you talking about?

: I shouldn't have to explain. You know exactly what I'm talking about. I have told you never to touch my desk, haven't I?

: And what makes you think I ever have?

This doesn't look too good...

: Umm...

: ! There you are, mon amie! RK47 can back me up on this. We were in the courtyard together until a few minutes ago. She said she was going to the restroom, so I should go ahead. I only just got here. In other words, I haven't had the time to go rifling through your stuff, doctor. Right, mon amie?

Just what is going on here? It sounds like the doctor suspects Yuuya of having gone through his desk while he was out... I came straight from the classroom to here, so Yuuya's obviously lying.

Well, everybirdie? Should we throw Yuuya under the bus by revealing his lies, or should we stay loyal to our beloved Fat Doctor, and reveal Yuuya's treachery? He's probably been stealing the drugs Fat Doctor was going to give us.

 

[Ulminati]

We must stay loyal to our beloved doctor!

 

[hoverdog]

we don't want to make any more enemies now, do we?

lie to fat-ass

 

[Hellraiser]

We don't want to know what the doc will do to us if he found out we were lying. Or do we?

Say the truth.

 

[Jack]

Side with the lovely doctor.

 

[Brother None]

Haha oh wow that soundtrack.

Anyway, oust the liar, tell the truth.

 

[Kz3r0]

lie to fat-ass

 

[LundB]

Haha oh wow that soundtrack.

You have no idea how ridiculous some of the soundtrack gets. There are a few tracks where I cannot wait to see what they accompany.
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Music: Throwing somebirdie under the bus.

: No, I was in my classroom until just now. Ryouta was there, too. Yuuya is lying.

: ...shit.

: Well done, miss RK47. I am glad our new assistant is so astute. What a pity, Yuuya. It would seem that you are somewhat lacking in basic truthfulness. I think we need to have a long, serious discussion.

: ...alone.

: I'm sorry, miss RK47, but could you leave? This is important.

I got kicked out again. Yuuya's face looked pretty bad. Doctor Iwamine praised me, but... What on earth is going on?

: RK47!

: Sir!?

: You didn't do too badly... I think...

: Y-yes..?

: You... nevermind, you did badly. Sorry.

: ...noooo...

: Try harder next time, okay?

I disappointed Mr. Nanaki... I'll have to study more from now on.

ED: I guess going to only music classes didn't do wonders for our academics. C&C!

Today's the last day! It's been a semester already... sometimes it seemed long and sometimes it seemed short, but either way, it's summer now! I should probably find out if I need to come to school to clean the infirmary at all.

: Well, I will be here just about every day the building is open... but there isn't any real need for you to come too.

: There's nothing I could do to help?

: No. Was there anything else?

Does RK47 want to prod the Fat Doctor in an uncomfortable place? Or should she ignore Ryouta's absurd conspiracy theories?

 

[Kz3r0]

prod the Fat Doctor in an uncomfortable place

 

[Brother None]

Haha. I wanna know how creepy an answer he can give. "Missing students", all the way.

 

[SerratedBiz]

^ This.

 

[treave]

Missing students is the only way.

 

[Jack]

Inquire about the students, let's find out the truth.

 

[RK47]

 

[LundB]

Throwing both tact and common sense to the wind, RK47-chan asks the good Doctor Shuu about the missing students. Will the truth be mundane or horrifying?

: Umm, sir? I heard that sometimes students disappear after coming in here, and...

: Who told you that?

: No one in particular... Everybirdie's talking about it. It's kind of like a school legend, or something.

: So you believe in urban legends?

: What? No, not really. Just that it would be kind of cool if it were true...

: Then we shall leave it at that.

: ???

: That it would be 'cool' if you were to disappear… or something like that. Hohohoho.

ED: Not sure if threat or 'disappear from my office, obnoxious fool'. Probably both. Hohohoho.

I guess I shouldn't have expected a straight answer in the first place. I never can tell what the doctor is thinking when I talk to him...

A hunter-gatherer's body is her way of life, so maybe I'll go running today!

ED: These images just flashed by while RK47 was running, but I paused for screens. Living in a cave, those skyscrapers... is this a post-apocalyptic game? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON, I HAD JUST MANAGED TO DESENSITIZE MYSELF TO EVERYONE BEING A PIGEON AND NOW IT'S GETTING WEIRDER WHAT THE HELL HATOFUL BOYFRIEND.

A true Running Girl's way to start vacation!

: I wonder how far I ran... I always lose track of where I'm going once the runner's high kicks in....

...where am I? I must have wandered out of my usual stomping ground at some point. Which way did I come from..?

: Don't fail me now, paleolithic homing instincet..!

The sun's setting. I'd rather not sleep outside...

: Hey, you.

: ?

Music: Enter Sparrow

A sparrow stands next to me, squinting up at my face.

It looks a little bit vintage. How cute! I feel a strange pressure... I can tell right away that this sparrow isn't just anybirdie.

ED: That strange pressure is called an erection, RK47-chan.

: Umm, I'm from St. Pigeonation's. I was out on a run and got lost.

: You ran all the way from there? You must be good. It's about a two hour drive from here.

: What!?

I guess that's why my legs hurt!

: Aaah... I wonder if I'll be able to run home again...

: Hmm. I like the cut of your jib... Anybirdie that determined deserves a ride home. Come on.

The intimidating sparrow gestures at her scooter. It's a little small, but we should both fit... I think..?

: Th-thank you! Umm... may I ask your name?

: Koshiba Azami. I sell takoyaki. Call me Azami.

: Then thank you, Azami!

: You're a very... cautious driver.

: Carve it into your soul, kid! One accident is all it would take, and that would be the end of our lives. It may seem strange to a young girl like you, but... once you've lost someone, you'll understand.

There is a far-off look in her eyes. I'm sure she knows what she's talking about, but at this rate I might get home faster by walking!

: Do you think we'll get there by dawn...?

: Carve it into your soul! The speed limit for scooters is 30 kilometers per hour!

: We're not even going that fast!

: Following traffic laws is part of my credo!

: Isn't riding tandem against the law, too?

: That rule is for humans. Birds are light, so one or two more doesn't stop the brakes from working. We're fine like this.

But I'm not a bird... And so we putted along at Azami's hyper-cautious speed. By the time we got to my house, it was almost light out...

Maybe I should apply for a part-time job, since I have the chance?

So, everybirdie? Should RK47-chan find gainful employment, or do nothing this summer?

 

[RK47]

Get a job. We need to move out of this cave. Into some apartment or something.

 

[treave]

Get a job, don't be a lazy bird.

 

[Johannes]

Hunter-Gathering is where it's at, don't get a job.

 

[Kz3r0]

do nothing this summer

 

[Jack]

Can't let the grades keep falling, forget the job.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Forget the job, do homework.

 

[LundB]

While I was making this update, the voice of the people shifted in favour of no job. Too late (I'm not doing all of the typing just to throw it away), but given the events of this update, you'll still be able to pick slothfulness if you want. Not getting a job seems to just skip forward to a later scene, though who knows if it has some effect later on. This game is full of meaningful C&C.
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It was the cafe, right?

ED: Wait a second... those are birds behind the glass. Is this a bird strip club/cafe? That's not a healthy place for a young girl like RK47-chan to work.

: Oh, my!

: If you could come back at noo--

: Oh! Sorry! I was here to ask about the job.

The proprieter of the cafe is an extremely elegant parakeet. A true gentlebird, without a doubt. This must be what people mean when they refer to a “mature attractiveness”!

ED: RK47-chan, you sure have a thing for older guys, don't you? You little jailbait tart.

All the students at school are young and hyper, and the most dignified birds there are the teachers!

: Oh, is that right? Forgive me. I am called Urushihara Kenzaburou. I am the owner of Torimi Cafe.

: I'm RK47.

: Welcome, miss RK47. I hadn't expected a human...

: Um, are you going to interview me..?

: I do not see any need to test such a wonderful young lady's desire to work here. And I believe you will be much more capable than I at moving the boxes of coffee and tea about.

: I'll be glad to!

After all, I am a 815-vitality point girl!

: I shall be relying on you for this summer, then, miss RK47. It is perhaps a little sudden, but could you start tomorrow?

: Of course!

: I am glad. I shall be waiting for you here in my cage. Tomorrow, then, miss RK47.

: Good morning, sir!

: Let me start by showing you where everything is. I'm sure you'll be able to remember everything soon, so please ask if you can't find something.

He shows me around the cafe, explaining everything inside. The shop is small and he keeps everything tidy, so I'll be able to remember it all.

: Well, then. What do you think?

: It's very nice! I almost want to move in!

ED: It is a building. You live in a cave. 'Almost' should not be part of that sentence.

: Come, now, it's far to plain for a young lady such as yourself!

: Actually, compared to my hou--

: Excuse me..!

ED: In this job market, you snooze, you lose, bitch.

: Ryouta!?

: RK47? Wh-what are you doing here?

: A friend of yours, miss RK47?

: Oh, yes. This is Ryouta. You came for the job, too, Ryouta?

: Yeah, I saw that it starts at noon, so I thought I could fit it in after my other job... but if you've already got the position then that's that.

: Umm... Mr. Urushihara, could you use two people..?

: Hmm... sadly, my cage is too small to have that much work to do.

Well, we can either keep the job, or give it to our friend Ryouta, who has a sick mother. He already has another job though, so it's not like he really needs it or anything. Also, the boss of this strip club might prefer a human, because of all the lifting and moving stuff around.

 

[Kashmir Slippers]

Keep it.

 

[RK47]

s-s-su-turippu club?