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In Progress Hatoful Boyfriend: I want to be a Pigeon!

treave

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Jul 6, 2008
Messages
11,370
Codex 2012
No point in being nice to your childhood chick. Keep the job.
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

Kamelåså!
Patron
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
20,317
Location
DiNMRK
Classy stripping is the way to go.

If only some of the birdies were disabled, RK47 might feel more at home :smug:
 

treave

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Jul 6, 2008
Messages
11,370
Codex 2012
Isn't there an option to replace everybirdie with bishonen representatives? For that matter, is the full game worth five bucks?
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
....considering I paid zero to romance a blind girl ($27 fruit cake non-withstanding), errr....why should you?
 

treave

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Jul 6, 2008
Messages
11,370
Codex 2012
Point taken. Still, to talk turkey, the price is chicken-feed and I half-enjoyed what I saw in the demo, which was already as crazy as a loon. I just wondered if there was enough content in the full game to warrant five bucks. Does the heroine get her goose cooked in many terrible ways? That sort of thing.
 

lightbane

Arcane
Joined
Dec 27, 2008
Messages
10,140
Blessed Emperor, this game is becoming more and more inane... Anyways, I vote to keep the job.
 

IronicNeurotic

Arbiter
Joined
Dec 2, 2010
Messages
1,110
Point taken. Still, to talk turkey, the price is chicken-feed and I half-enjoyed what I saw in the demo, which was already as crazy as a loon. I just wondered if there was enough content in the full game to warrant five bucks. Does the heroine get her goose cooked in many terrible ways? That sort of thing.

It's worth it. If only for the conclusion of everything which is really, really great and also throws the other endings into a new light.

I'm bad at proverbs.
 

Hellraiser

Arcane
Joined
Apr 22, 2007
Messages
11,239
Location
Danzig, Potato-Hitman Commonwealth
Keep the job.

003.jpg


:what:

Alright now this is starting to get weird. Outside of all the pigeon dating and the creepy doctors, and cave-dwelling hunter-gatherer of course. Although I think I now know what really is going on...
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

Kamelåså!
Patron
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
20,317
Location
DiNMRK
I'm still waiting for the special forces to show up. And the demon-inside-a-tree.
 

LundB

Mistakes were made.
Joined
Jan 2, 2012
Messages
4,160
I can't stand this insanity any more.

Says the man with the loli Hitler avatar.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In this update, unprofessional customer interaction and racism.

000.jpg

Ryouta.jpg
: Don't worry about it, RK47. I've got a couple more places to check.
cafeblue.jpg
: Perhaps some other time. I will be here, if you are looking for something later on.
Ryouta.jpg
: I'll keep that in mind, sir. Have fun, RK47!

It's almost opening time. I'm kind of nervous, but I'm not about to mess up after taking the job from Ryouta! I wonder who the first customer of my life will be...

001.jpg


A budgerigar steps in the door. The first customer of my life... A young man who doesn't quite suit the atmosphere of the cafe. I was hoping for somebirdie who'd raise a few more flags! Maybe a white peacock.

RK47.jpg
: Welcome! Would you like a bath? Or a meal?

ED: They offer baths... this really is some sort of high-end strip club.

RK47.jpg
: Or maybe you'd like mister Urushihara?
cafeyellow.jpg
: I'll take Kenzaburou... Hey, wait just a minute, now!

ED::troll:

Yes! A perfect delayed reaction!

cafeblue.jpg
: Oh, hello, Rabu. This is Rabu, miss RK47. A regular customer.
cafeyellow.jpg
: I'm something of an important figure here. See this card? 206 stamps.

Amazing. Is he a cafe-addict?

cafeyellow.jpg
: Hey, what was with that when I came in?
RK47.jpg
: I've wanted to provoke that reaction out of somebirdie with a Kansai accent since I was a little girl! Thank you, mister Rabu! Thanks to you, my dream has come true, and I can die happy!
cafeyellow.jpg
: Y'all lost me on the roadside, there.

ED: You and me both, birdie.

cafeyellow.jpg
: Well, that's how it is. RK47, right? That seat there is my private property. Y'all remember that, now.
cafeblue.jpg
: A new encounter in the little birdcage... today is a good day. I shall make some coffee to celebrate. Please, sit down, both of you.

And so the three of us enjoyed an early afternoon pot of coffee. Wait, aren't I supposed to be working?

002.jpg


On my own, of course! Riding the stormy waves of life alone is what we humans are all about.

ED: Not like we're social creatures or anything... have the pigeons brainwashed people into believing this so that they won't band together and rebel?

unk.jpg
: Hey, human.
RK47.jpg
: Wha...

Music: Racial Tension

003.jpg


ED: Who all appear to be dark feathered, unlike the white majority. And they're criminals... :kfc:

004.jpg

ED: :hmmm: Punkgeons. PUNKGEONS.

nigeon.jpg
: I bet a rich little girl like you gets a lot of pocket money from daddy, huh? Rich little girl going to a fancy school, thinks she's so great.
RK47.jpg
: Gh..!

005.jpg


I can pick Ryouta out of a crowd about eighty percent of the time, but the rock doves I've just met all look the same!

ED: RK47-chan, that is racist (lol 80% of the time recognizing your best friend). Also conforming to stereotypes, Ryouta, the only other dark-feathered pigeon, is a high-schooler who has to work multiple jobs to support his mother, since his father appears to be absent. This game is not just sexually deviant, it is sexually deviant and RACIST. Sort of like the Codex.

RK47.jpg
: Do you have some business with me? If not, go away!
nigeon.jpg
: Hey, that's not nice. Show us some cash, first. Cash... or something else worth our while.

ED::rage: RK47-chan, you're going to get gang-raped by punkgeons.

They buff up their chests, threateningly.

RK47.jpg
: Dumb punks! Picking on girls in the park is a good way to get ostracized for life.
nigeon.jpg
: What?
nigeon.jpg
: What!?
nigeon.jpg
: You little--

They're angry now. My hunter-gatherer instincts can feel a fight coming. Three pigeons on my own... Can I win this..?

ED: They have hollow bones... this shouldn't be hard unless you're a Katawa Shoujo.

Slam! THUD! [punching noises]

RK47.jpg
: !?

The work of a moment. A dim figure flits out of the shadows, and an instant later, two of the punkgeons are on the ground. And the grand victor is--

Music: Keeping the black bird down.

006.jpg

azami.jpg
: That was close, RK47. Are you sure you should be out this late?
nigeon.jpg
: What the fuck! Who are you!?
azami.jpg
: Me? Well... I'm the takoyaki lady!

[sounds of socioeconomically inevitable violence]

The punkgeon collapses before the might of Azami's majestic kick.

RK47.jpg
: S-sorry, Azami! I let my guard down!
azami.jpg
: Easy for a kid to do. Life lesson! Always be prepared! Speak softly, and drive a Sherman tank!

shermanbird.JPG


She's so cool! I think I'm in love..!

ED: Lesbian route unlocked!? :thumbsup:

RK47.jpg
: Umm, Azami? I'm working at a cafe near here over the summer. Could I treat you to something sometime, as thanks?
azami.jpg
: Is that part of your credo, kid? Good by me.

Azami takes the proffered flier, mounts her trusty scooter, and putts off into the darkness. A heroic entrance, and a cool exit! I hope I can be like her when I grow up!

007.jpg

008.jpg


Well everybirdie, who should we take?
Ryouta, our hard working minority childhood friend?
Sakuya, the rich aristocrat?
Nageki, the library bird?
Yuuya, the ladies bird?
San, the pudding obsessive
Kazuaki, the disappointed teacher?
or Shuu, everyone's favorite creepy doctor? Ho ho ho ho.
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

Kamelåså!
Patron
Joined
Jun 18, 2010
Messages
20,317
Location
DiNMRK
That statement is slightly misleading. If you play it multiple times you realize a lot more is going on. But to go as far as to claim people will get an understanding of this mindfuck seems wrong.

Not as wrong as fucking a pigeon though.
 

Cowboy Moment

Arcane
Joined
Feb 8, 2011
Messages
4,407
Are those supposed to be spiked shoulderpads on the punk pigeons?

Codex doesn't have an emote for what I feel at this moment.
 

SerratedBiz

Arcane
Joined
Mar 4, 2009
Messages
4,143
I can't wait to see what's in store for our minds beyond the threshold to the abyss. If Shu is teh creepy doctor pigeon, Shu it is.
 

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