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How to survive in RPGcodex for dummies

GoldLeader

Scholar
Joined
Nov 5, 2005
Messages
277
Location
Some european shithole country....
Legal Bullshit: I was totally bored and decided to create something funny. If you, for no apparetn reason will call me dipshit, lame as loser, stupid idiot, call my country stupid idiots and won't understand that this is for plain fun only, then please, remove yourself from this planet. You're breathing the air that was ment for the smart people.


Hello fellow boardsmembers. I'm here for a while, and i have noticed that RPG codex boards is the place where everything you love, sucks. (Except Fallout) Also, everyone here is an angry cunt, ready to flame at a sligthest mistake of others. Everyone here is an excellent example of a RPG purist, pissing on the heads of bad game devs and bethesda in particular. So, how to survive and actually gain some fun from these boards? Well, here's some advices.

1. Remember that Fallout is THE epitome of RPG gaming. Fallout 2 sucks. (Well, it doesn't actually, but REAL purists say that it fucked the setting as much as F:T and F:PoS did. I don't agree, maybe because i started with Fallout 2 and then played Fallout and kind of got used to unrealistic tribals and New Reno. On the other hand, i probably suck)
2. Oblivion sucks. No, wait ALL TES games suck.
3. Pretty much, EVERYTHING sucks, when compared to Fallout, but some games are considered good. (Planescape:Torment Gothic and some other chosen RPG's)
4. Modern day RPG's suck.
5. Fallout 3 will suck.
6. If you want to ask a question about a game which sucks by RPGcodex standarts, but you rather like it, you start your question with:"I know it's a steaming pile of bullshit, but..."
7. Remember that most people here are from Russia, probably read Udaff.com and drink vodka. Preved, scuki! (I, myself am from Latvia)
8. All hail Vault Dweller.
9. And remember - everything you love has a 95% probability to suck.
10. To get cool, flame someone in other forum and post the link here. Also, refer to RPG codex for premium RPG information. ALWAYS! Because THIS is THE place where REAL rpg players dwell.


OK, i'm ready for flame now ;)
 

kingcomrade

Kingcomrade
Edgy
Joined
Oct 16, 2005
Messages
26,884
Location
Cognitive Elite HQ
GoldLeader said:
Legal Bullshit:
Quite.
I was totally bored
Yes.
and decided to create something funny.
No.
If you, for no apparetn reason will call me dipshit, lame as loser, stupid idiot, call my country stupid idiots and won't understand that this is for plain fun only, then please, remove yourself from this planet.
You insulted yourself with this more than anyone here ever could.
You're breathing the air that was ment for the smart people.
Do you consider yourself one of the smart people?
1. Remember that Fallout is THE epitome of RPG gaming.
Yes.
Fallout 2 sucks.
Yes.
i probably suck
Yes.
2. Oblivion sucks. No, wait ALL TES games suck.
Yes.
3. Pretty much, EVERYTHING sucks, when compared to Fallout,
Yes.
but some games are considered good. (Planescape:Torment Gothic and some other chosen RPG's)
Yes.
4. Modern day RPG's suck.
What modern day RPGs?
5. Fallout 3 will suck.
Yes.
6. If you want to ask a question about a game which sucks by RPGcodex standarts, but you rather like it, you start your question with:"I know it's a steaming pile of bullshit, but..."
No, you go out there and you tell the Codexers right to their stupid faces that it is a good game. That way, whether the game is good or not, everyone gets to have fun. Either we find a new fun game, or we find a new fun pinata.
7. Remember that most people here are from Russia, probably read Udaff.com and drink vodka. Preved, scuki! (I, myself am from Latvia)
No comment.
8. All hail Vault Dweller.
No.
9. And remember - everything you love has a 95% probability to suck.
No, everything that people who aren't kingcomrade love has a 95% probability to suck, unless their tastes run concurrent to kingcomrade's.
10. To get cool, flame someone in other forum and post the link here.
Yes.
Also, refer to RPG codex for premium RPG information.
Yes.
No.
Because THIS is THE place where REAL rpg players dwell.
Yes.
OK, i'm ready for flame now ;)
I asked you if you considered yourself one of the smart people who can't seem to find enough air to breathe. The answer is yes, if you hadn't been suffocated with your mother's umbilical cord you probably would've been an incredibly smart person rather than a person of mediocre and self-exaggerated intelligence, such as Sarvis or Bryce.

On the other hand, I did have fun.
 

Greatatlantic

Erudite
Joined
Feb 21, 2005
Messages
1,683
Location
The Heart of It All
The real "survive the Codex" rules.

1. DON'T CLICK LINKS, unless you are absolutely sure their destination is safe for your eyes, check bottome of the screen to see exactly where it will send you.

2. There is a time to be silly, and a time to be smart. A lot of posters are usually silly, don't take it personally. If somebody is calling you a bunch of nasty things with out any justification, chances are they are being silly.

3. Likewise, start off being smart instead of silly. First impressions are important.

4. Surpirsed at a common Codex opinion, like how bad a game Oblivion is? Don't call us name, ask us why we think that way. This forum really encourages people to post, and several posters love to discuss the reasoning behind their opinions.

5. Realize the Codex likes RPGs, not games labeled RPGs. Whats the difference? See number 4 and take it from there.

6. Unlike most forums, "Aol" or "leet" speek is not acceptable. That means spell out "you" and "your" instead of "u" and "ur".

7. Some posters have been given special titles. They may be mods or legacies, but if its an insulting title chances are they earned it two times over.

8. DON'T CLICK LINKS. Deserves repeatings.

9. While we are at it, don't post not safe for work images in the forums. That is one of the few bannable offenses.

10. Realize that Codex has a free speech policy, and as such isn't likely to moderate, delete, or lock most posts unless they are clearly a waste of time. If you want an environment where explicit refrences to sex organs are censored, go else where.
 

Goliath

Arcane
Zionist Agent
Joined
Jul 18, 2004
Messages
17,830
GoldLeader said:
1. Remember that Fallout is THE epitome of RPG gaming. Fallout 2 sucks. (Well, it doesn't actually, but REAL purists say that it fucked the setting as much as F:T and F:PoS did. I don't agree, maybe because i started with Fallout 2 and then played Fallout and kind of got used to unrealistic tribals and New Reno. On the other hand, i probably suck)

Fallout is not the best RPG ever made. The best RPG is Betrayl at Krondor (immersion), Temple of Elemental Evil (combat), Countdown to Doomsday (nostalgica) or Arcanum (overall).

2. Oblivion sucks. No, wait ALL TES games suck.

Correct.

3. Pretty much, EVERYTHING sucks, when compared to Fallout, but some games are considered good. (Planescape:Torment Gothic and some other chosen RPG's)

I do not care about either PS:T or Gothic and as said before Fallout is not the gold standard.

4. Modern day RPG's suck.

Depends on what you by "modern day". ToEE is not that old..

5. Fallout 3 will suck.

Of course.

6. If you want to ask a question about a game which sucks by RPGcodex standarts, but you rather like it, you start your question with:"I know it's a steaming pile of bullshit, but..."

You are gay.

7. Remember that most people here are from Russia, probably read Udaff.com and drink vodka. Preved, scuki! (I, myself am from Latvia)

In fact all the 'Russians' are Chinese, paid by the Russian Spammer Federation, that just pretend to be Russian. You know the reds have to fulfill their quota and Chinese spammers are cheaper.

8. All hail Vault Dweller.

He is overrated, ask blackheart.

9. And remember - everything you love has a 95% probability to suck.

:shock: .. Oh you mean 'suck' as in 'this game sucks''. Goddamn, I have a sick, dirty mind..

10. To get cool, flame someone in other forum and post the link here. Also, refer to RPG codex for premium RPG information. ALWAYS! Because THIS is THE place where REAL rpg players dwell.

Well, REAL tubgirl lovers at least. I am not one of them, though.


OK, i'm ready for flame now ;)

I do not flame Latvians, that would be unfair.
 

LlamaGod

Cipher
Joined
Oct 21, 2004
Messages
3,095
Location
Yes
SOMEONE ON THE INTERNET MADE FUN OF A SHITTY GAME I LIKE

GOD IM SO PISSED
 

Allanon

Augur
Joined
Oct 11, 2005
Messages
249
The best RPG is Betrayl at Krondor

:cool:
I don't believe someone actually remembers this game. This is the first game - and coincidentally an crpg - I bought, and a good one too. Too bad I didn't like the books.
For some reason or another, it is not well known, although it was quite fun back in '95.
 

Surlent

Liturgist
Joined
Jul 21, 2004
Messages
825
Making intelligent posts here coupled with few reasons why you think something is the way it is will get you here a long way.
7. Remember that most people here are from Russia, probably read Udaff.com and drink vodka. Preved, scuki! (I, myself am from Latvia)
Nah, most are americans still i think. But you don't need to be russian to like vodka. ;)
 

Mefi

Prophet
Patron
Joined
Apr 7, 2005
Messages
1,364
Location
waiting for a train at Perdido Street Station
Fundamental problem with point 2. Daggerfall was an excellent (if very flawed) game. So it is not beyond Bethesda to create a good RPG.

Mildly amusing OP. But it's early, I'm out of cigs and haven't had any coffee. It may improve on a re-read.
 

Hazelnut

Erudite
Joined
Dec 17, 2002
Messages
1,490
Location
UK
Greatatlantic said:
The real "survive the Codex" rules.
<snip-theyreupthere^anyway>

They are actually pretty good GA... Maybe they should be made part of the FAQ or a sticky for new members. Although, come to think of it, maybe that would simply reduce the fun to be had when Joe Clueless joins up.
:roll:
 

DarkUnderlord

Professional Throne Sitter
Staff Member
Joined
Jun 18, 2002
Messages
28,344
GoldLeader said:
10. To get cool, flame someone in other forum and post the link here.
Oh God, please don't. We get enough of that as it is already.
 

Atrokkus

Erudite
Joined
Feb 6, 2005
Messages
3,089
Location
Borat's Fantasy Land
7. Remember that most people here are from Russia, probably read Udaff.com and drink vodka. Preved, scuki! (I, myself am from Latvia)
preved.jpg

Превед котекс!



For the record, most of the people here are from Kazakhstan, you big silly.
 

GoldLeader

Scholar
Joined
Nov 5, 2005
Messages
277
Location
Some european shithole country....
Meh...i guess i won't even bother trying to be funny next time.

@ Kingcomrade - Thank you. I will now go and play civilization 2 until my fingers bleed. Also, i kind of liked kotor. That doesn't mean it isn't a steaming pile of cow shit.

@copx - My dog eats better things than you

@everyone else - Meh...i tried. At least you had some fun.
 

Higher Game

Arcane
Joined
Apr 14, 2005
Messages
13,662
Location
Female Vagina
GoldLeader said:
@ Kingcomrade - Thank you. I will now go and play civilization 2 until my fingers bleed. .

Here comes rule #9 to sk00l you n00b. Civilization 2 sucks and Alpha Centauri will always be better. Welcome to the Codex. :)
 

GoldLeader

Scholar
Joined
Nov 5, 2005
Messages
277
Location
Some european shithole country....
Higher Game said:
GoldLeader said:
@ Kingcomrade - Thank you. I will now go and play civilization 2 until my fingers bleed. .

Here comes rule #9 to sk00l you n00b. Civilization 2 sucks and Alpha Centauri will always be better. Welcome to the Codex. :)

I sk00l y00 n00b! Guess why i am playing civ 2, NOT spending my precious hours on cybernetic conciousness :) and thank you! :)
 

obediah

Erudite
Joined
Jan 31, 2005
Messages
5,051
The secret to surviving the codex is always having a snickers bar handy. Seriuosly, go buy lots of snickers.
 

Falcore19

Novice
Joined
Apr 15, 2006
Messages
81
Funny thing is, I was drawn here because its the only site that agrees with me : 95% of the games suck.
 

kingcomrade

Kingcomrade
Edgy
Joined
Oct 16, 2005
Messages
26,884
Location
Cognitive Elite HQ
Guys don't piss off metallix, the Russians used to keep nukes in Kazahkstan and you know how bad they are with keeping track of those, metallix is probably part of the Russian Mafia tasked with keeping track of a dozen or so warheads. You piss him off and you will find a bloody horse's penis in your bed, as well as a major city in your country destroyed.
 

Vault Dweller

Commissar, Red Star Studio
Developer
Joined
Jan 7, 2003
Messages
28,024
kingcomrade said:
You piss him off and you will find a bloody horse's penis in your *ass*, as well as a major city in your country destroyed.
Fixed! The threat is much more serious now.
 

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