Living In Corporate Shadows: Let's Play (SNES) Shadowrun!

[lightbane]

MOAR!

And don't forget about Kitsune!

 

[Major_Blackhart]

MOAR!

So I guess when I said MOAR people thought I was fucking around?

 

[GarfunkeL]

He's stuck somewhere, I bet :D

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Such a gucking great game.

 

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

Change of plans everyone, I'm leaving this morning (night? depending on your time zone) to visit family for Christmas till the 28th. A pain in the ass but I'll be bringing ye old shit laptop with me. No internet out there, so the next 4 or so updates will be scripted on notepad. Expect an avalanche of content when I come back. Probably won't finish the game but we'll definitely be in the latter part of it. Cheers, and Merry Christmas. Or whatever holiday your particular group recognizes...for those who don't celebrate anything go watch a nice movie and get some Chinese food.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Oh you fucking cockgnobbler.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Moar?

 

[GarfunkeL]

It's not the 28th yet.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Don't care man, keeping it alive for people to remember.

NEVAR FORGET!

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Today's the fucking day man.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

UPDATE!!!!

 

[Major_Blackhart]

UPDATE!!!!

 

[Major_Blackhart]

What the fuck happened here?

 

[GarfunkeL]

Uh-oh.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Yeah, uh-oh is fucking right.

 

[eklektyk]

pitty post [hidden bump]

 

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

Actually got back around the 9th, and after that mostly faffed about. "I'll just be transcribing, who cares." Cut to yesterday where I realized my procrastination had taken a life of its own.

But I said there'd be a wealth of content upon my return and that at least is true. There will be two updates today, one is a big honkin' thing and the other (coming towards night time) is a much smaller mini-update. Prepare for an update every day until my backlog runs out. That's going to be awhile.

Let's get this thing started!

Hack! Hack! Hack! He's a crazy man!

I expected fewer firewalls and more people on fire.



This floor got cleared out ages ago. The next one will probably have all the chaos and carnage your twisted little heart can desire.

What honeyed words you whisper in my ear.



Uh sure. Take a page from Magi-Anders and kick back till then.

.....

Frackin' waste of time...hey M-A, how about tossing a couple Heals my way?

..say the whole thing at least.

Anyone hear something?

Nope.

Sounded like a crumbling psyche.

Knew it! When the mind goes it makes noise similar to a flattened soda can.



What the hell, Magi-Anders?

That's not my name!

The midget goes first. If even half the stories about you are true this is a long time coming.

Any of them mention what I did to the last group that tried to betray me?

They had to demolish the building because the stains wouldn't go away.

Spatter, that's your name?! Should've been happy to get a new one.

Keep yapping Jake, you're next. Between me and Drake's security there's only one way this story ends.

You mean those guys? I plum forgot about them after you turned into a Drama Llama.

And now they're gone. Just like the other two floors I cleared out alone.

Hah...so how 'bout some healing?

How about we make your name really fitting?

Oh Dog, it's everywhere! Forget shampoo I'm going to need to bathe with bleach!

Carbonix Systems all over again.

Make sure to tell everyone you know what happened, cuts down on trouble in the future aye?







I experienced this bit before my trip and it made me break a self-imposed promise to keep away from Gamefaqs. Like missing Kitsune's permanent membership exploit, playing blind has come back to bite me in the ass. Turns out that of all the game's locations, I hired Spatter to immediately venture into the *one* place where he will always betray Jake without fail. Anywhere else and there wouldn't have been an issue. And according to the guides he's not going to respawn back at the club; worm food.

Where did you hide it you dumb scab?!



And this isn't Grand Theft Auto; no hiring someone then recouping the money by beating them to death afterwards.

All that pain and a future of possible brain aneurysms for nothing. Just a hidden cache of aug-ed up granny porn. Eugh.

There's a guy I know who goes for that stuff actually. I'll forward his contact number.



Gained contact Dr. Farnswor-

NO, no we're not doing that! Delete that number.

Knock knock. Can Jimmy Node come out to play?

Go away.

Lady if this were a few hours ago I'd wine and dine you like your sister downstairs. But some bad shit just went down so cut me some slack.

No appointment no admittance.

Now I'm going to get a digital baseball bat.

When in doubt steal them all.

Jimmy ain't looking so hot. Kinda pale. What kind of operation are you running here?



Mainframe upkeep isn't what it used to be.

You're a lout, Jake Armitage.

Guns're cleaned and ready for action.

Good dive?

Copacetic.

The difference between me and other Runners? I make this look good.

....going down?

By all means.



*Ding*

Nice fella that one. Real personable.

Hey Sam you forgot your passc-hey where's Sam? Who are you?

Cleaning crew. We just finished up with the fourth floor.

You wouldn't even recognize the place.

I'll be the judge of that, stay right here. Mess with anything and you'll have a lot more to worry about then a revoked sanitation license.



*Ding*

Cover me while I go in, right? He's going to be pissed.

*Snicker*

Wait how does this work? There's no way to tear down the barrier.



It's almost like system admins didn't want someone rummaging through their programs. Lunacy.

Maybe one of the other machines on this floor has a key file.

MY HAIR!!! FOR THE LOVE OF SPACE JESUS IT'S IN MY HAIR! YOU ASSHOLES ARE DEAD!

*Ding*

Please direct all complaints to a duly notarized representative of the City Health Department.

This call's toll free.



*Blam*

The place is dirtier than it was before. We are the worst cleaners ever.

Goes to show you can't trust the goverment to get anything right. Should have hired Shadowcleaners.

Something's different about this floor.


Drake hired a couple competent people, apparently. Maybe they hadn't gotten around to fixing network points on the lower levels yet. This is what I expected when combining a Corp's resources and Drake's influence.

Bullshit!



Would you look at that...what happened?

Dunno, I smacked that orange info point and the barrier disintegrated. So there was no need for a key after all.



Why put up obstacles in the first place if the solution is nearby? And shaped like the same dispenser that usually spits out phone book files?

Maybe programmers figured intruders would ignore them after accessing several and getting useless data.



Pfft. That strategy's going to fail on anyone who has played a video game before.

Well if Drake doesn't know how to use Nuyen sensibly why let him keep it? I only hire the best.



And then they betray you.

Two out of three ain't bad.

Doubtlessly higher than Drake's ratio at any rate.

We meet again my old nemesis.

Like syntho-butter.

I speak for the USER.

This one can speak for himself. Now vanish.

Ask yourself what it means that we've gotten to this floor, then consider how many there are of you. Who is the bigger fool?

Gettin' a mite wordy lad.

Just kill'em.

That's the last of the fragmented files, so what...7-zip required? Come on!

Suppose this justifies that killing spree in front of their building awhile back. Aneki's partnering with other Corps for a big AI project? Wonder why Matrix Systems turned their attention to it.

In Seattle half the companies would sink a rival for a peanut butter bar. No surprise here. Matrix should've expected retaliation.

A volcano lair still comes off as really impractical.

If you've got the money, use it. You only live once.

Or twice.




I see what you did there.

Then Jake got an idea. An awful idea. Our hero got a wonderful, *awful* idea.

Maybe feuds, he thought, don't have to stop at a gun's bore. Perhaps war...could mean a little bit more!

I'd warn you not to do it, but he's already pretty dead set on killing all of us.

That's the spirit of the season.

.....




Jake...you're in a pissing match with a dragon.

I can see that. Huh, his name makes a lot of sense now.



Not quite the corporate fat cat I expected.

Stand really still, maybe he can't see us if we don't move.

Meet my boys, bucko. You're going to know'em real well after I make you into a pair o' pants!


Stop pelvic thrusting the vidphone!

Is this a bad time to mention the run you stiffed me on two years ago? I've tried to work through your legal channels but the appointment keeps slipping.

More importantly where can I find this lady? Don't want to inadvertently insult you by bringing scrubs to the finale.

No that was last week.

Should have brought Hamfist and let him do some more boasting. 'I've run through his shadows and come out the other side'. He'd crap his pants!



I'm not feeling so fresh at the moment, myself.

Gross.

So if Drake's not here, what we do suppose is on the top level?

Account information for his special clients and projects?

A harem.

...what.

Dragons horde things. S'wat they do.

I'm not seeing any women!



Give Jake a few minutes alone with them and a bottle of alcohol.

Hah ha. They've got thin figures but a real butterface problem.

I suggest radical medical treatment.

High doses of heat combined with selective application of metal shrapnel.

It just wasn't in the cards.

Heartbreaking.

Would you like to tell us what you know before or after Norbert starts doing unmentionable things to ears?

Reminds me of the time I held a guy at gunpoint and he cried like a bitch. Oh wait that's right now.

Wait, was that a joke? Heh.

Obviously the next stop is Drake's Volcano HQ.

Did any of the files contain coordinates?

Um. *Scanning* No.

Any time you're ready folks.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Gon' be gud.

 

[lightbane]

Calling Drake to make him angrily scream at you through the videophone was awesome

 

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

Eh, I'll just release the mini-update now. Enjoy!

28.

29.

Y'know you were right; this is incredibly relaxing. Never been Ghoul Hunting just for fun before.

30. My turn! Get out of the way!

Fun and Karma! And unlike the ones Downtown they die in one hit.

Come out ya wee undead bastards!

.....

.....

Huh, I think we might have scared them back underground for awhile.

$#^#*@*@(&@!!!

Frogtongue, his eyes are dilated and he's drooling again.

Best leave him be for a minute or two.

Hmm? What's this?

Oh that narrows it down. There must be a couple thousand of the things laying around at the moment. Not that you'd know with this system's low memory.

What?

Nothing. Every other item that stood out and had an info blurb was useful in some way, so it comes with us. Here Norbert...you carry it.

*Bonk* Where am I? Was I hired to kill you lot?

Where to next, Boss?

After my daily catnap we'll ask Dog and everyone else in the know if they recall any suspicious volcanoes. Probably hunt down Jester while I'm at it.

You lost me. Jester?

Oh that's right I was solo at the time. Fill you in later.

Someone answer me or I'm bringing the pain!

Leadership maxed out at 6.

Try weaseling out of your contracts with me now. Sign up and you're in it for the long haul! Mwahahaha!



Yes Monsieur Bonaparte, as you say.

Shut up.

Magic was increased to 7.

UNLIMITED POWER!!!

And Computer skills increased to 5. A solid move, considering outside of the Arena it's been our best money earner.





----------Meanwhile, Back At Drake Tower-------------

Guys, this seriously isn't funny anymore. I have to pee! Hello? Can someone let me out of here?

Longest.drum.solo.ever. I'm almost impressed.

Hey Jake.

Sorry, can't talk. Killed about two dozen of you recently and then the magic one turned traitor...it's left a bit of a stigma.

I see your luck hasn't changed at all.

So I've heard before. How 'bout a run with your music-appreciating pal? There's even a pair of other Runners to hide behind, though it might get tricky with Norbert.

That psycho dwarf?

I know, I know but he's reliable. And expendable.

Lessee what my newest contracted lackey can do.

Lackey?

Figure of-

-speech?



Holy fucking balls.

Pretty awesome, no need to tell me. Sit back and watch a master at work. Well not actually, I prefer to stay behind the scenes and that means everyone else has to be in front.

Yeah, okay. Let's meet the rest of the team.

The hell were you thinking hiring this guy? He's a chump! Chumps probably cross to the other side from him in embarrassment.

Are you done? Maybe his skill makes up for it, you don't know.




What skills, the man's charging you nearly a thousand Nuyen for D-class attributes.





--------Outside--------

He's picking up Anders, right? That's the only option that makes sense.

Gotta be. Jake ain't all there (and that's why I like'em) but the lad ain't stupid. First solid scrap and Jetboy'd either die or run.

Everyone, Jetboy, Jetboy, everyone. You all hang out at the same place so I figure introductions are done. We got a Dog to see.

I don't know why you hired us to find a canine, but leave the heavy mental lifting to me and everything will be over by dinner.

The client's situation is a bit more complicated than what you're imagining. First off, when he says Dog-

Nobody mentioned rival groups after the prize. Poochie's ours!!!

*Sigh* Nevermind.

So what are your rates for splitting of loot based on? Participation or...?

If I knew there would going to be mages the fee would've doubled.

Shut it you useless pansy.

I contributed in every fight since we left Wastelands!

Technically, smacking something with the butt of your gun after the rest of us killed it isn't contributing.

Fellas. Ow.

D-ddo----

Huh. Ain't seen something like this since the Renraku gigs.

Tell me about it, those were the days. Good pay and free room and board, while turning a blind eye to side jobs.

Aye.

That's no fracking dog!

Dog. It's all in the pronunciation.

Know of any volcano bases housing a dragon nearby? I doubt there are enough to confuse the issue.

What?!

Shhh.

You seek to challenge Drake so soon? What of Jester?

I can do that too. With the firepower my Crew is packing at the moment we could skip learning his name and just challenge him head on, right?

No.

Nyeheheahea! Dream on meatsack!

Ahhhhhhhhhhh!



*Foomph*

Come back here you Harlequin wannabe! Norbert could use a new codpiece to go with his leather pants!

That'd be swell boyo.

Here, you have found the required Totems. Find the true name of Jester and face him. Only then will the location of your adversary be revealed.

You sure I hav-

Just leave. Go. Have fun blowing people up with your mind. You looney.

Sea creatures.

Mind tellin' the tale, boys?

I'll do you one better, an epic battle took place a couple warehouses over.

Jetboy alright back there?

Yeah, he's fine. Kick it already you little bastard.



*Click*

You fucked up Runner, you done killed one of Drake's favorite girls.

Welcome to last Tuesday idiot. Get with the times.

Now how do I collect this stuff?

Buh, grbbl.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Seriously, I'm so fucking hard right now.

MOAR!!!! Also, get better weapons biatch! Or armor.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Hahaha, this is quite funny since you're doing things so totally out-of-order.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

MOAR!!!

 

[eklektyk]

MOAR!!!

bump too

 

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

You read now. You enjoy!

Didn't know about that menu. Jetboy really looks out of place in the big leagues.

Do you suppose this is what that old Indian guy's inventory was made for? Containers for reagents?



Only way to find out is to try.

There's something a bit more important at stake than advancement of magical ability, Boss.

Too right, my balls aren't going to lift and support themselves y'know.

Not what I meant.

Bite your tongue, nothing is more important than thumbing one's nose at elitist scabs.



But the last mage (shaman) who scoffed at your skills is already dead.

Details.

Suppose it couldn't hurt to practice my newfound pyrokinetic glory and focus on Jester. For now.

Hold it; I got this.

Hah! You missed, loser. Who's subpar now?

Ach, those were my lucky boots.



He strikes from the grave!

Feel the mystical fury of Jake Armitage...Wizard Extraordinaire!


Technically it was the solid wall of lead that killed him, your Powerball just made the corpse extra crispy.

The man of a thousand spells!



...and you're not listening to me at all.

Where do we start the our search? An info-broker or Mr. Johnson?

Nope, I plan to fall back on a source that's just as spiff and doesn't siphon Nuyen like Sassie on a Friday night.

Captive underlings?

Bartenders!

New guy working out okay?



He tried swallowing his own tongue on the way here.

What a shame, it's sad to see that kind of thing happen. Here's my contact number.

No time for chit-chat my good man, tell me everything you know about spirits of corruption and technological decay.

In that case give me your best case of tea. Don't worry about Ice I can Freeze it myself!



What? No you can't.

I was kinda hoping we'd done that already and it had slipped my mind.

Perhaps it's for the best that Jake doesn't accumulate spells too quickly. Magic may be messing with his mind.

Powerball upgraded to level 3.

Not enough, not nearly high enough!

Computer maxed out.

Aneki will receieve twofold what was wrought at Drake Tower

Jake the Great does not wait! Clear the lines my minions!




No, that's not how it happened.

Jake was tripping out in the corner when these guys showed up.

No queue jumping! Burn for your sins!

He seem crazier than usual?

That's intensity, man, all the best Runners have it. Like Norbert!

I rest my case.

The true name of a nihilistic, abstract concept of the universe.

That was so unhelpful it drove me sane again. I was enjoying my power trip asshole.



Thank Xenu.

You still haven't washed that shit off?

Find me a bathroom with a shower anywhere and we'll talk.

C'mon it's not going to be that hard to get off. Maybe a tomato bath or something.


I think he was talking about Jester, actually.

Word travels quick in a club like this. It pays to keep your ears open.

He says to consult a magic expert, fine. I'll call the only one we know.

Rowr!

Oh hey Kitsune. Now what was his number...


Why don't we just as-

A man named Talis? Talisman. Oh he must feel fracking clever.

That's the same line you used on me last time. What good are you if you can't identify artifacts or tell me about something in your Dog be-damned area of expertise?!

It would make me no good at all, wouldn't it? Have a nice day.

We still needed to ask him if his bottles could hold the ink from the warehouse.

Why can't I just find someone who will give me a straight answer?

Cause you don't know how to ask, silly.

Like a secret handshake...or...

Bwaaah!

Hee hee!

Stop doing that!

Stop jumping when I do!

I almost charbroiled you, I can do that now if you hadn't heard.

While Jake's calming himself down do you mind telling us a few things about the entity named Jester? Anything at all.

Gained conversation topic Dark Blade. Sounds like a franchise competing with Hot Topic.

Gained conversation topic Vampires. Eh, see what I mean?

With the possible exception of one or two people that describes everyone we know.



Gotten ahold of yourself?

Enough to continue this line of questioning. Let's see how much we can squeeze from Mr. Juice.



(Oh the pain of it all.)

So you *do* know about them.

Duh. I'm not that thick. If you want more ask Cecil in the back.

Gained coversation topic Strobes. And a new potential inventory item.

Catatonic you say...yes that will do nicely.

Alright, so we've got the name of a club full of Vampires and a 'weapon' that should give us a fighting chance against them.

Now to find the club. Which means more quizzing the townsfolk until they give an answer.

Found s'more folks that need mulching?

How's a nest of Vampires sound? Plenty to go around.

For the right price I've jumped bare chested into a cave bursting with minor Elementals.

That's how he got a chunk tore out of his ass.

And a story to tell the women! Teehee yo har!

Wonder how this things works?

Farhr, wha? Where are we? Last thing I remember is...something that must have been a fever dream. Not drinking that brand again.

Ah I got it!

Pretty.



*Thump*

Hyper-sensitivity *and* epilepsy, it's honestly impressive he's managed to survive so long.