Living In Corporate Shadows: Let's Play (SNES) Shadowrun!

[Major_Blackhart]

This is so fucking amazing. Goddammit I need MOAR!!!
Love it!

 

[GarfunkeL]

I do love your characterisation of the various runners. As Blackhard said, MOAR!!!

 

[Major_Blackhart]

MOAR! And get a bigger gun goddammit. Or a faster firing one.

 

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

MOAR? You shall have MOAR! Enjoy.

Drag Jetboy inside so he doesn't get trampled.

Which would be...awful.

That time already?

I'm afraid so Boss, er, Mr. Armitage. If you don't mind please fill out this small customer satisfaction survey. I give them to repeat clients.

"How pleasant was interaction with your Shadowrunner?" Hope you don't expect a high score in the visual category.

Unfortunately my body is just not built for thongs.

Beach Party at the Neo-Mormon Enclave, summer of '43.

Never happened. You imagined the whole thing.

....the...horror...all that green skin!

Shut it, you.


*Thwap*



He's going to get brain damage at this rate.

Wastelands is right around the corner, we could have Frogtongue back in a matter of minutes.

Variety's the spice of life, as they say.



And you're feeling lazy.

Oh I'm sorry, pardon me for not adding yet another stop on our odyssey through the ass crack of the city. Besides my ticket for admittance should still be good here.

Especially for someone with your history.

What's that supposed to mean?

That poor man over there can barely stand.

Everything tastes...purple.

The result of a series of unfortunate events. None of which were my fault.

O rly?

You hired Spatter a short time ago and yet I don't see him waiting with the rest of your group.

Snitches get stitches but betrayers land in body bags. Don't try to double cross me and everything will be fine. With your skills and Norbert's muscle and Jetboy's...well between you two and me all our bases are covered.

Haahahahaa no.


It's not much more than what we used to pay before upgrading Charisma, and he's in the God Tier. Only Akemi has the same rank.

Journeying to Dark Blade to barter with Vampires about the location of a malevolent spirit?

I stand corrected. If you survive talk to me later and I'll see if my schedule's clear. Don't forget the money.

Prick.

He grows on you.

I'm not even surprised anymore.

Phooey. Seriously though, Steelflight can be a jerk but he know his stuff. I've seen him come back from multiple Runs that killed the rest of his team. And he leaves the best tips!

You've convinced me to settle down one day and have his children, but till then how's about hiring onto my Crew?

Hgk.


Just around the corner, Jake.

No it's fine. Welcome aboard Kitsune, gird yourself for a lot of undead schmucks. Cause where we're going they're in charge.

A laugh a minute. Please don't be like the last one, please please.

That's more Magic than you and most of the other Mages we've hired combined.

I think I may have a bad case of size envy. Now even girls aren't safe in that department, woe is me in this cruel unforgiving world!

*Giggle*

Skill-wise you're not in any danger of usurping positions within the group. No gun?

Never needed one.

Can't argue with that. Offense, defense, summoning and a stealth; you're the total package with a pair of tits.

And the added bits that should never appear on a human.

Yeah like that.

Wow you do have size envy.

Huh?

These 'inhuman' appendages make whispering around me kinda pointless.

Ah. Instead of acknowledging my mistake and growing from it...I'm going to get petty and assign the invalid as your travel buddy.

*Ten Minutes Later*

Gnkr, wha? Where am I?



Look who's lucid again. You lose the bet Norbert.

Hello Jetboy.

Kitsune! What are you doing here?!

Same reason as you, I imagine.




His recruitment involved less flirting and a lot more self-aggrandizement. Which he has yet to back up, by the way. How do you know him?

We dated.



Say what?!

Lor' luv a duck! It's like a soap opera back there.

In hindsight you're not so bad Norbert. Y'know, for a rabid midget I can barely understand half the time.

To the be'er times. Nuff said, yeah?

Salude.

Welcome to Oldtown, home of Dwarves crazier and even more heavily armed than our friend here, Orcs with delusions of power, feckless Indian shop keepers and one terrible bar. Two of those we will be visiting in the near future.

My 'ome away from home.

Le-

With just a thought motherfucker. I'll make you famous.



Unfortunately the Sputnik Club turned out to be, as usual, a source of nothing but disappointment and frustration. Nobody had a clue where we could find Dark Blade.

Some disguised it with folksy wisdom, like the old Shaman.

Others with belligerent posturing. Whassup Orifice?

Sup. Hey Piss Stain, had some good fights? Siddown and share a few.

Who is he talking about?

Move it along, no provoking the wildlife.

And others...have no importance in this story. Let them drink in peace.

So why did the two of you break up in the first place?

Differing opinions on the direction of our relationship.

He wanted me to dress up during sex.



Well that's not so bad, a lot of couples role-play in the bedroom.

With a red wig and fake pointy ears.

What, it's a good look. I was trying to introduce a bit of class.

Hmpf.

.....

Did I do something to piss you off recently? I can't recall anything that would justify this.



Nah just having fun at your expense.

Kitsune, any chance of me touching you in a no-no place has just vanished like a fart on a windy day.

Look who the fates have returned to my shop. But why, I wonder, when I clearly cannot help him?

Your busted self can't but maybe one of these Talismans will.



The ink was black, Jake. Try that one over there.

This?

Wait someone actually wants to buy part of my bottle collection? I put them out and scribbled up random price tags for a lark.

We have a couple more questions since last time.

Keep buying my inventory and you can ask anything you want. To answer the first one; briefs. I like excess space and consistent airflow.


Horrifying. But I meant regarding the night club Dark Blade and some of its shadier denizens.

Gained the contact number for Dark Blade!

Which can be found in a case over there for a reasonable...well truthfully I came up with the price while high. But something tells me you'll pay nonetheless.

*Whimper*



Easy come easy go. Vampires live forever they're bound to have a couple old trinkets laying around for us to take and hock.

Provided it comes to a fight, of course.

Heh.

Kukukuku.

-ahahahahahaaaa!

Ahh, what a way to pass the time. My apartment's in here.

Before we make the call there's one last thing I've been neglecting.

'lo fellas, how is business in the cracker jack league? Miss me?

Reckon we did. Life isn't the same without a pissant young buck barging in and needing to be taught his place occasionally.

Thank you in advance for lightening our day.

Then you're about to find this downright hilarious. I can do magic too!

With my own posse to boot.

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Rock on man.
Rock the FUCK on.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Can't wait for the next update!

 

[CappenVarra]

And the added bits that should never appear on a human.

Keep up the good work!

 

[lightbane]

And the added bits that should never appear on a human.

Jake would loathe the latest edition of Shadowrun and its blatant furry fetishes that are utterly useless Changelings...
Anyways, moar!!

 

[Major_Blackhart]

MOAR!!!!

 

[CappenVarra]

MOAR!!!!

 

[Major_Blackhart]

MOAR!!!!

 

[eklektyk]

MOAR!!!!

 

[Major_Blackhart]

MOAR!!!!

 

[Desmodus Rotundus]

I agree with the previous poster.

 

[GarfunkeL]

Don't let this die, chummer!

 

[eklektyk]

MOAR!!!!

 

[Major_Blackhart]

Goddammit drekhead, this is so fucking awesome. Update! I Love this game.

 

[Genma:TheDestroyer]

The next update is about a fourth of the way transcribed and the one after that has been uploaded and set up for me to work on. All in the name of combating my laziness and procrastination. Anyway, enjoy!

What does it say about my life that all these contacts either want to fuck me over or siphon away money?



Or in Sassie's case both. That it might be time for some introspection?

Pass. Introspection always leads to crying jags and wolfing down ice cream. I think Frogtongue finished off the last of the Cherry Garcia.



-----Meanwhile------

You dead?

Nope, can't feel my arms though.

Lucky. The mind's willing...but the torso ain't...there...anymore.

If I survive this I'm retiring and joining one of those new age monasteries. Hear they make alcohol by the cask.

.....

Well what's your idea then?

Oh.

Grey skin and yellow eyes, boy he's not fooling anyone.

No shit.


Freaky deaky Dutch bastard.

I think we're on two different wavelengths here.

Wait don't hang up! I acquired a mystical doodad in a cemetery last week, and word is you guys buy this kind of stuff.

Alright just give me the address and we'll be there.

*Sigh* Checking out every gate in the city it is.

Hope you're ready for another five kilometer marathon interspersed with short bouts of excitement and terror.

Running's always the worst part of the job lad.

Speak for yourself shorty! My thighs have been molded into a thing of beauty.

No secret entrances here.


Vampires are prima donnas; follow the theme and search spookier areas of town.

Man that is some blue water.


Uh yeah I suppose

Too bad we can't bottle it and bring some with us.



Ah hah!

There's a convenience store a block over and you two want to drink from a fountain?

Quiet fekbrain, let'em do their schtick.

You bring me to all the nicest places.



Don't feel too special, most of his Runners get brought here at some point.

No running this time boyos. Say wotcher to my li'l friend!

Nada.


Think he literally meant the gate would be left open, or was it just a turn of phrase?

I know the situation is bullshit.

~The arm bone's connected to the shoulder bone~

Not anymore!

And you really prefer working with these 'people' over me?

All day, every day and twice on Tuesdays.

Search Complete: Tenth Street. Result: Bupkis.

I hate you all.



Cannon fodders' supposed to be upbeat and likable making their inevitable death more tragic. So get into character will ya.

I'm not cannon fodder! I have a name and a life and I used to have a girlfriend.

Even worse, now the last thing you'll see is Kitsune weeping at the looming injustice perpetrated by fate.

Hey Jake does this look like a split end to you?



...okay truthfully if she notices it will be to point and laugh. But have some pride in your given role man!

Stop scaring the newb, we're almost to the next location.

The gate's closed and thankfully so. Praise be to the Machine God!

Amen.



And Dog.

Amen.

It's not going down, Jake!


That's what she said.

We can't handle it! Retreat!


That's what she said!

*Groan*

Now you know the reason I go Ghoul hunting on Tenth Street instead of here. The puns do more damage to your ears than you can inflict on the Downtown undead.

The frak was that?

A sign that we're finally on the right track. This place got cleared out days ago when I was bored.

If someone new has popped up...


...then there's a good chance our gate is nearby. Time for some fishing.

Take the bait pal, you can do it. I'm just a goof who's gotten lucky. Be the hero who killed Drake's latest target.

Prepare to die Armitage!

Bingo.

Keep it up, almost got me that time!

Drake doesn't know what you want with Dark Blade, but you'll never even enter the grounds.

Oh? So this is the entrance. Thanks for being so helpful.

w-What?

They literally left the gate open.

Any group capable of assaulting Dark Blade knows enough to avoid it anyway.

Th' scabs who don't are a free meal.

Hundreds of species of trees in the world and they went with the one found in front of every haunted house. Prima donnas.

Bats infest each of them, by the way. Or perhaps ravens. At this resolution it's hard to tell and there's no sound effect other than rustling.

Jinkies!

Isn't that some kind of breakfast cereal?

We can use this side entrance to get the lay of the land without them knowing. It's basic surveillance 101!

.....



Side entrance, eh? Looks more like an-

We're going through the front and meeting them like planned.

Jake? Wait up!

Pizza man, I got an order for two dozen pies with extra garlic...and anchovies. Gross.

But someone contacted Jagged Nails and scheduled a performance at this exact time!

Don't be ridiculous, Dark Blade does not cater to women of the night.

*Cough*

Well we do but not that kind.

Did he just call me a w-

Check under Uziel Gal.

I have the list memorized sir and can assure you no one with that title appears.

Give it a tic and he'll make an impression. *Klick-Klack*

Alright charade's finshed folks. I'm the one who found an artifact in the graveyard and called you about it. You left the gate open for me?

So of course everyone ignored him and decided to explore the rest of the building, leaving that room for last.

What can I say my curiosity is insatiable. Sometimes bordering on a full blown disorder.



That and the rampant kleptomania. You're carrying around discarded bits of cloth and a paper weight.

Oh to be born in a Zelda game.

Fancy.

This is the kind of place dickless over there promised me when we were first starting out. What did I get? A rundown lounge in Redmond Barrens.

Boo hoo it's not like you ever helped out with the finances. Hadn't started flirting for discounts and free stuff yet.

Yeah just what a fox girl wants; dinner with a fat, leering Mr. Johnson in the corner.

Gunderson did right by me. He's the one who showed me the ropes, and helped grow into the man I am today.

Then there's something else I can find fault with him for!

Want me to whip up something to take your mind off bad memories?

.....



Jake where did you get that?

I...had it the whole time?

Sure ye did did, lad. Just like I've always had this fancy pair 'o cuff links.

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, It Was A Dark and Stormy Night, An Idiot's Guide To Evil Overlording. Interesting collection.

Hopefully he hasn't gotten around to the last one.

Keep focusin' on that, I'm goin' for the swally.


He means beer.

That's what I said.

BUM BUM BUM

I'm calling you mid-boss.

Pardon?

Is that...? That's Norman freaking Osborn!!

Too right, that dinner gag was old hat long before the 2040's. Which puts your style of humor on the same tired tier as someone else we're looking for.

Restraint?

Commitment?

Oh fuck you.

Not in this lifetime.

Seriously?

Ah yes a trade *for* Jester's true name. I have nothing to lose with such a deal and everything to gain! Very well.

What are you doing? Hand over the amulet!

Nothing, nothing. It's just...you have a very impressive computer setup.

Spared no expense, obviously. They're networked with a security system installed by one of Matrix Systems finest minds.

Iiiiiiiinteresting~ Here you go.

One mystical doohickey of unknown potential.

When he says it that way this seems like a bad idea.

C'mon, give it a rest. We get the point you human brillo pad.

Blah blah unlimited power blah will rue the day blah blah. Could we hurry this along?

Gained conversation topics Bremerton and Niwanda! I see the docks in our future.

Yes, leave him to his plotting against Peter Parker!

So...kinda lost. I honestly expected him to attack after giving up the amulet.

S'wat I wouldda done. This thing suggests it too.

So that's where the Idiot's Guide went.

Now what are you hiding you evil bloodsucker?

Besides the obvious things, natch.

No connections to a volcano lair here, true believers.

You are such a geek. We stand in front of a vampire and the first thing you think of is 'hey he looks like the villain in an old comic book'.


Pay more attention to the dive and less on my taste in hobbies, thanks.

Pfft. The initial barrier system is better than anything else we ever saw from Matrix, but after Drake Tower this is routine.

The actual guts of the system is pure MS; simple, straightforward and hopelessly outmatched by anyone with a Computer skill above 2.


So you're saying Jetboy would have a tough go of it.

Ha ha.

Enough to pick up the other bottle and still have plenty of change left over. Start saving for a new gun or better armor.


Or the next collection of esoteric items Dog demands before teaching his own Shaman a spell.

Might as well toss the rest of the network with it.

Here's the good stuff. Money's nice but information is power. Papa wants the scoop!

"Playing with Jesters", he said. While lying straight to my face. He insults me and goes back on a deal in secret, leaving us holding a stinking worthless pile.


This changes our immediate plans, I imagine.

There's no way around it.


?

Jake Armitage is going to have to choke a bitch.

 

[lightbane]

Vampire hunting time!!

 

[GarfunkeL]

Hahaha, excellent characterisation, once again. Keep it up!

 

[CappenVarra]

 

[Major_Blackhart]

FUCKING AMAZING!!!

 

[Modron]

Awesome LP but I am still butthurt over you choosing to LP Invisible War instead of showing us more Way of the Samurai routes.

 

[eklektyk]

this needs BUMPing

 

[GarfunkeL]

Yeah, moar bump