Review Risen 2: Dark Waters gets the Zero Punctuation treatment

[DarkUnderlord]

Tags: Risen 2: Dark Waters; Zero Punctuation

This week, Zero Punctuation reviews Risen 2: Dark Waters. It's pirate themed! With bullshit magical artifacts and grizzled eye-patch wearing mother-fuckers as your only "choice".

Combat involves hammering in nails... or at least, mashing the attack button as if you are in a game of "who will get stun-locked first".

Skills are too contextual (only appearing in dialogue options sometimes or at specific moments in combat when text appears) and skills themselves are gained by buying them off other people, which makes ZP wonder why they aren't the ones saving the world given everyone else seemingly has more skills than you do.

In the end, the verdict is seriously dodgy design with samey visuals.

Thanks Fens!

 

[Forest Dweller]

I'm guessing he played it without the patch?

 

[Metro]

Yes, but what did Angry Joe and Total Biscuit think of it?!?!

 

[Multidirectional]

Yeah he obviously played without a patch, but it doesn't excuse him for sucking at it anyway. Kicking over giant crabs can't be too complicated, it just can't.

 

[Nattvardsvin]

That pretentious fag is boring as fuck. You suck ass if you think he's funny in any way.
Oooh I'm British and I talk really fast hurr I'm so clever.

Also I make shitty Adventure games using AGS, I'm video game designer durrr..

 

[Fens]

woooow... you so edgy i almost cut myself

 

[Nattvardsvin]

Hating on some British cunt that the majority of people don't even like makes one edgy. Fucking logic.

 

[Fens]

indeed

 

[Untermensch]

That pretentious fag is boring as fuck. You suck ass if you think he's funny in any way.
Oooh I'm British and I talk really fast hurr I'm so clever.

Also I make shitty Adventure games using AGS, I'm video game designer durrr..

Extreme butthurt detected.

But seriously what's up with some codex members who get worked up over what Yahtzee, Jim Sterling or other internet ""celebrities"" say?

 

[tarkin]

Typical review from him, nothing new. But i really liked the Half Life outro, funny shit mang.

 

[J_C]

That pretentious fag is boring as fuck. You suck ass if you think he's funny in any way.
Oooh I'm British and I talk really fast hurr I'm so clever.

Also I make shitty Adventure games using AGS, I'm video game designer durrr..

Extreme butthurt detected.

But seriously what's up with some codex members who get worked up over what Yahtzee, Jim Sterling or other internet ""celebrities"" say?

They just think that they will look like a champion of the Codex if they behave like that.

 

[Zboj Lamignat]

I'm not sure if it makes me edgy or not, but I think Nattvardsvin is pretty spot on. The only bigger try-hards are the other retards from that site, extra credits. Also, wtf with making "reviews" with some silly shtick that gets far too tiresome after one episode? This disease seems to be quite contagious.

 

[Shervin]

Yazthee or whatever should just shut the fuck up.

But seriously what's up with some codex members who get worked up over what Yahtzee, Jim Sterling or other internet ""celebrities"" say?

They say some bullshit that's hard to swallow. That's why.

 

[Johannes]

Oh no he is so negative, what ever will I do

 

[Metro]

That pretentious fag is boring as fuck. You suck ass if you think he's funny in any way.
Oooh I'm British and I talk really fast hurr I'm so clever.

Also I make shitty Adventure games using AGS, I'm video game designer durrr..

Extreme butthurt detected.

But seriously what's up with some codex members who get worked up over what Yahtzee, Jim Sterling or other internet ""celebrities"" say?

It's not them, it's the posters here who actually put credence into what they say. Try to retain some dignity, old bean, or relinquish your monocle.

 

[Gakkone]

Why do some people even consider these videos reviews? They're just nitpicking and exaggeration for humorous effect, no depth or insight you couldn't find from any mediocre youtube reviewer.

He's also got a shitty taste in games.

 

[St. Toxic]

I don't know, I think it's pretty funny. The guy is into platformers, old-school fps's and casual indies, meaning he isn't really into games. In a sense, it's like watching your computer-illiterate grandmother review various software, i.e fun.

 

[Deleted member 7219]

He's a prick. Who cares what he thinks?

Honestly, his opinion is worth shit. I respected him once, but since he joined The Escapist he's gone into staggering decline.

 

[St. Toxic]

I respected him once

 

[felipepepe]

The guy is a humorist, not a serious reviewer FFS...And obviously he sucks at games, he gave up on reviewing Dark Souls because he could not get past the tutorial boss! But he is funny sometimes, and even his book was a fun read.