Star Wars 1313 announced

[Malakal]

SW is retarded from any scientific or quasi scientific point of view. Big news, hold the press!

 

[SoupNazi]

It looks like it's made on the TOR engine (at least characters). So, shit. Also, the first thing they show in a gameplay trailer is... a QTE section. Wow.

 

[eric__s]

Cinematic, action, dark, mature. It's like they tried to fit in as many buzzwords as possible.

They worked for the last 1312 Star Wars games.

 

[Commissar Draco]

Stick to the cover and Pop a robotic mole like in 90% of other ''RPGs"... So this why this game is called 1313(th)? or is this from target audience age? :declining:

 

[Angthoron]

Clearly 1 symbolises cawk while 3 symbolises boobs. Combine that with "mature" and you get emotional engagement!

 

[Ivory Samoan]

Well fuck, I'm going to buy it.

Developed for PC too... lush.

 

[Commissar Draco]

Maybe if they showed some boobs instead of pair of fags I would be ''emotionally engaged'' and even feel some.

 

[Darth Roxor]

Why the fuck would anyone want a dark and mature Star Wars experience? I wanna blast shit with my laser guns while cutting shit up with laser swords and throwing stuff around with ZE FORCE!! Or keep only the first one and give me Republic Commando 2. Is that so hard to get? Goddamn it.

 

[Wirdschowerdn]

At least they got the protagonist right. Sleazy, a bit dubious...a bit faggy, as the Commissar already alluded.

Much better than this gay Starkiller dude from TFU. He looked like some nobody.

 

[Commissar Draco]

You know a game is going to turn into shit when they use the words "dark and mature for describing it.

Fixed and by dark and mature they mean gay butt sex and/or gratidious swearing.

 

[Outlander]

So is 'cinematic' a new sub-genre now?

Thank you Bioware stupid people who throw money at Bioware.

Would you rather have all this shit in RPG proper?

I would rather not have that shit in games at all.

 

[Menckenstein]

Uncharted IN SPACE... the joke just tells itself.

 

[commie]

All Star Wars simulators were made by TotallyGames and Lawrence Holland who was the lead. Lucasarts by themselves knows shit about making a space sim.

If there ever gonna be another SW space game it needs to be made by mr Holland who is doing god knows what today.

Holland is one of my Gods...SWOTL and Their Finest Hour were great sims for their time as well and had the best manuals ever, that were great history books in their own right. How the decline has marked this man...it's tragic....

Seeing as the last good Star Wars game (X-Wing vs TIE Fighter) was released fifteen years ago, I think it is long overdue. I hope it is good.

Fixed

Those are your words, not mine. IMO KOTOR 2 was the last good Star Wars game, the best of all of them was TIE Fighter CD (the version that had all expansions but kept DOS and iMUSE).

Fun fact: I sold my copy of TIE Fighter CD in the late 90's as I thought that I'd never get it running again and there'd be no need anywa as we were on the incline escalator to the stars and games would just be getting better and better for ever.

 

[Roguey]

Poppin' moles in linear corridors, my that certainly is a Star Wars game they have there.

Why the fuck would anyone want a dark and mature Star Wars experience?

Ask the weirdos who like The Sith Lords.

 

[sea]

Hey, remember when Star Wars games used to be awesome fast-paced FPS titles with expansive 3D levels and lots of exploration, or full 3D dogfighting games in the style of Wing Commander, or interesting RPGs that expanded upon the universe and had fun characters to interact with?

Yeah, let's just make Gears of War... with blasters! Because everyone knows that the last pointless and inane Star Wars action game they made turned out so well!

Oh... oh wait.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Why the fuck would anyone want a dark and mature Star Wars experience?

George Lucas and fanboys are butthurt about Star Trek's remastered editions, and refuse to accept that KotOR2 exists already.

 

[Data4]

Gears of Star Wars. Even has the waist high walls an' ever'thing.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

Gears of Star Wars. Even has the waist high walls an' ever'thing.

No, in Gears of Star Wars you would use a lightsaber to MAKE waist-high walls everywhere!

 

[commie]

More than anything I hate the ridiculous retcon and fucked up progression in Star Wars. The original trilogy due to limitations in CGI and money actually provided the most aesthetically interesting yet spartan designs. Black/white clean lines on Imperial ships/architecture etc. Then in the new shit all of a sudden there is a huge abundance of super fancy tech despite it being 30-40 years before the first films. The screen is filled with hundreds of weird arse flying things that you see for two seconds, everything exploding etc. I could accept putting in more Rebel ships and more fighter combat during the Death Star battles rather than the dozen or so ships you actually saw, but filling every scene with such stuff? In KOTOR the tech is more advanced as well despite being 4000 years earlier and since that time nothing really changed.

As for the Derp Unleashed, well that's the shittiest retcon I've ever seen: From nowhere the greatest Jedi of all time suddenly appears can fuck up a star destroyer and rapes Vader over and over yet still can't beat some old prune faced monkey eyed tosser, then disappears as quickly as he came and the fate of the universe suddenly rests on a faggot with one hand who has the powah to defeat the emperor(and still doesn't as Vader does). Why would Vader settle for less trying to get Luke onside when he clearly has not even 1% of the ability of Starfucker? Where'd all the wacky force powers go? So fucking stupid.

Tie Fighter went a bit too far as well with all the Tie Advanced and Tie Defender models and all the super secret Imperial civil wars, but at least it offered some kind of explanation for why the Empire wouldn't be able to beat the pathetic Rebels, being distracted by internal problems, and the space combat didn't really interfere with canonical progression. Dark Forces did it right too, being set during the rebellion but focusing on normal combat in trying to stop a secret project. The other games Jedi Knight and it's sequel also worked as they were set after the end of the trilogy so anything should go then. But TFU was fucking atrocious, the worst lore rape I've ever seen in a game.

 

[Malakal]

Will there be Twi'lek whores?

Twi'lek whores are a staple of any SW game or film. They are sure to be present and whorey enough!

We may even have the opportunity to shoot first. Unless they edit that out later.

 

[WalmartJesus]

My Favorite Part of the Video is when the explosion caused all the crates in the room to move into perfectly proportioned cover spots.

 

[sea]

But TFU was fucking atrocious, the worst lore rape I've ever seen in a game.

The best part? George Lucas approved it all himself.

 

[Menckenstein]

But TFU was fucking atrocious, the worst lore rape I've ever seen in a game.

The best part? George Lucas approved it all himself.

George Lucas is the biggest lore rapist of them all anyway. The man hates his own creations.

 

[commie]

But TFU was fucking atrocious, the worst lore rape I've ever seen in a game.

The best part? George Lucas approved it all himself.

George Lucas is the biggest lore rapist of them all anyway. The man hates his own creations.

I honestly can't understand that guy and his obsession with fucking with his own movies over and over. All those added scenes to SW and ESB actually ruined the flow and sounded weird for example: Han meeting Jabba and saying virtually exactly the same thing as to Greedo which made it obvious that the dialogue was altered when the original Jabba scene didn't work and they wanted for Han to repeat what he would have said to Greedo instead. Or the whole Darth talks to the Hologram Emperor. The added dialogue is weird and awkward since Vader is responding with the same words as originally to totally different Emperor dialogue. Or fucking over Sebastian Shaw in favor of the Wooden Man as the ghost. Or the whole cheapo looking special effects which actually made the original design look at once more archaic and also more 'real', as the plastic Millenium Falcon looked a lot better than the late 90's X-Wing graphics. If the fucker really wanted to add something, he should have got rid of the Ewoks or have them slaughtered in the first 5 minutes.

 

[Vaarna_Aarne]

But TFU was fucking atrocious, the worst lore rape I've ever seen in a game.

The best part? George Lucas approved it all himself.

George Lucas is the biggest lore rapist of them all anyway. The man hates his own creations.

I honestly can't understand that guy and his obsession with fucking with his own movies over and over. All those added scenes to SW and ESB actually ruined the flow and sounded weird for example: Han meeting Jabba and saying virtually exactly the same thing as to Greedo which made it obvious that the dialogue was altered when the original Jabba scene didn't work and they wanted for Han to repeat what he would have said to Greedo instead. Or the whole Darth talks to the Hologram Emperor. The added dialogue is weird and awkward since Vader is responding with the same words as originally to totally different Emperor dialogue. Or fucking over Sebastian Shaw in favor of the Wooden Man as the ghost. Or the whole cheapo looking special effects which actually made the original design look at once more archaic and also more 'real', as the plastic Millenium Falcon looked a lot better than the late 90's X-Wing graphics. If the fucker really wanted to add something, he should have got rid of the Ewoks or have them slaughtered in the first 5 minutes.

If you really wanna get into something that must be causing butthurt of unprecendented proportions, check out how much better Star Trek's recent digital remastering has been handled. SW fandom must be seething over it.

I so wish I had a clip of Indiana Jones being literally raped by George Lucas and Steven Spielberg in South Park.