torpid
Liturgist
Game looks like it has atmospherefag potential, and exploring a dangerous sea reminds me of Silent Hunter III (totally different genre, of course), but if the story and feel of the world are meant to be conveyed by the writing, and MHC's example is representative, uh...
It's not just the description of the battle, either. In the lower left, there's "the glassy chop of dark water," which is awful: glassy water is the smooth, flat, Beaufort 0 sea; you don't use "glassy" for choppy seas, wtf. And I'm no sailor, or writer for that matter. Hell, even the "sullen lights" in the lower right feels a tad... overwritten? I get a feeling of trying too hard. If a game is going to have a lot of writing in order to describe events, I'd say the safer bet is to go for concision and avoid too much embellishment, and create atmosphere through sheer accumulation. Every piece of writing trying so hard is going to get old fast. But maybe that screen isn't too representative?
We need moar updates
It's not just the description of the battle, either. In the lower left, there's "the glassy chop of dark water," which is awful: glassy water is the smooth, flat, Beaufort 0 sea; you don't use "glassy" for choppy seas, wtf. And I'm no sailor, or writer for that matter. Hell, even the "sullen lights" in the lower right feels a tad... overwritten? I get a feeling of trying too hard. If a game is going to have a lot of writing in order to describe events, I'd say the safer bet is to go for concision and avoid too much embellishment, and create atmosphere through sheer accumulation. Every piece of writing trying so hard is going to get old fast. But maybe that screen isn't too representative?
We need moar updates