In Progress The Codexian darwinian struggle against the Temple of Decline (ToEE Co8), MEATSHIELDS INQUIRE WITHIN

[felipepepe]

Kingcomrade and Black Cat.

And Cloud's sword.

 

[Gregz]

Here's hoping the page 1 fighter types die quickly (but with honor ) to make way for:

Class: Fighter(lvl 1-20) (spec exotic weapons: bastard sword for Fragarach or Scather)
Race: Human
Stat priority: STR>CON>DEX>INT>WIS>CHA
Sex: Gentleman
Alignment: chaotic neutral ( for wielding Fragarach )
Feats: improved initiative, power attack, cleave, exotic: bastard sword, improved critical bastard sword, bastard sword specialization, great cleave, etc. (don't worry about focus related weapon skills as Fragger always hits)

Volourn (if the cleric Pope Amole II dies), Cleve for his powers of weathering riots (zerg rush shieldwall).

 

[RK47]

Hommlet needs teleporting dialogs to become viable.
I propose we bring along the wizard from the iron tower.

Vincent Dungeon Dweller

 

[Smashing Axe]

I may as well jump in on this.

Barbarian 2/Fighter X (Greataxe)
Race:Human
Stat priority STR>CON>DEX>INT>WIS>CHA
Sex:Gentleman
Alignment: NE
Feats: improved initiative, powerattack, cleave, weapon focus:great-axe, weapon spec:great axe, then best judgement.

 

[potatojohn]

Potatojohn
Elf
Bard

 

[Cassidy]

Cassidy
Male Nigra Human*
Rogue/Wizard multiclass at whichever ratio and order is more convenient
Focus on DEX and INT, obviously.
Alignment: CN
Feats: Weapon Training: Exotic and Finesse at character start for the sake of using the very handy spiked chain, then whatever you believe that will be better.

*Preferably a nigga.

 

[Sitra Achara]

Hommlet needs teleporting dialogs to become viable.
I propose we bring along the wizard from the iron tower.

Vincent Dungeon Dweller

Funnily enough, that was one of my first mods, and some of the reactions were the same as in Vince's case.

http://www.co8.org/forum/showthread.php?t=4169

P.S. the "sticking out tongue" smilie in this forum has to go

 

[Computer Gamer Refugee]

shucks, looks like I go away for an afternoon and I miss a chance at brief immortality.

Anyway, for the true min-maxer
Vladov NE cleric (night/darkness god) Human
Wis>Str>Con>Chr>Dex>Int
exotic weapon skills (katana, LARPed as the "Edge of Night" a single blade the character starts with).
feats Blindfighting. Likes to cast darkness and listen to everyone else fumble around.

 

[Hellraiser]

Bro, when you see the update you will realize that you may yet get a chance at immortality.

 

[CappenVarra]

Meatshield applying for reserve duty in anticipation of disaster!

Class: Bard/Barbarian (start with bard, alternate evenly)
Race: Human
Stat priority: st > ch > de > in > co > wi
Sex: Gentleman
Alignment: CN
Deity: Shaundakulwhatever

Will vote for special chars when the current ones die horribly...

 

[Smashing Axe]

"Deity: Shaundakul"​

​

Wrong Campaign setting bro​

​

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Greyhawk_deities​

 

[Kalin]

Race: Human
Class: Cleric
Sex: Monocled Gentleman
Stat priority: WIS>CHA>INT
Alignment: Neutral Evil
Deity: Nerull
Domains: Death, Trickery

 

[CappenVarra]

"Deity: Shaundakul"​

​

Wrong Campaign setting bro​

​

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_Greyhawk_deities​

Right... then I'll let Hellraiser choose. Thanks for the tip.

 

[Deitti]

another ToEE LP to follow ever since lazy Mrowak stopped updating his? awesome. im in.

Race: Dwarf
Class: Barbarian/Fighter (Barbarian for first 8 levels, then all other levels fighter)
Sex: Gentleman
Stats: STR>CON>DEX>INT>WIS>CHA best scenario would be to get 13 to both DEX and INT
Alignment: Lawful Neutral

everything else is up to you.

 

[Hellraiser]

Chapter I

First blood

That main menu background is What else Gould you expect from troika? Outside of a shitload of bugs that is.

The hivemind is true neutral, the forces of prestige, inanity, retardo and monocle are at an equilibrium. Should one of the get the upper hand, the codex would be something… less appealing.

First up is hoverdog, only one sub-10 roll. Not bad.

He gets finesse and two-weapon fighting as feats. Yes I know it’s just +1 more to hit chance considering his STR. But with dual wielding, he needs all the “plus ones” he can get. Oh and if he survives long enough he’ll have some nice +DEX from items or stat level ups.

Mrowak gets two fifteens. Technically that’s legal in potatoland, although just barely.

He gets grease, because after all it’s a great conjuration spell.

Next is Renegen our first sorceror. He gets Polanki’s favorite number twice

Yeah, kind of ran out of those points for diplomacy there bro. Don’t worry, others will persuade the rats to cease hostilities towards us.

Sorcerers have the advantage of being able to better adapt on the fly. Provided they know the proper spells. For the moment Renegen will specialize in dealing damage. We have Mrowak and Black Cat for the grease/sleep trolling after all.

Two sweet sixteens, the beefcakes get all the good stuff.

I’ll get him cleave next, just want somebody who can hit shit hard first hence the weapon focus.

The Pope gets the worst roll so far. Oh well, nobody said you need more than 7 INT to be a priest

Naturally his Holiness will provide us with the awesome of Pelor and popamole health regeneration.

Considering the undead we will encounter and the healing we will need I decided these two feats will be best. We don’t want you bros to die now do we?

His holiness looks ready to seriously pop some moles. Could use a bit more STR though.

Our first SPESHUL character to get rolled is Black Cat. She got the most votes of course. Damn those rolls are good, it seems that the god of dice rolls only hates his holiness. Honestly he could use those stats more than her IMO. I guess he’ll kick ass and pop moles regardless.

Oh black cat will have a very enchanting personality.

Quite charming actually, unless she bores you to death with her obscure weaboo game LPs causing you to fall asleep.

BLOBERT rolls a sixteen and two fourteens. Could a true BRO deserve any less?

Not as good as Lindblum but his MASSIVE constitution and immense willpower should make him very resilient. Crappy DEX is crappy, all that constitution gets in the way you know what I’m saying? As a true BRO who just wants to kill shit, he gets cleave.

Even with Co8 TOEE lacks a proper BRO portrait matching BLOBERT’s BROness. *

*I could make a new one but ToEE requires them in .tga files in 4 or 5 sizes cropped out in a very specific manner and with a white alpha channel. Which means I can’t just crop them with batch rename/convert in infranview AFAIK.

Jimbob gets the lowest roll of all. A 6 for his dump stat. Unluckily for him, being a Halfling means he’ll get a further minus 2 to that 6 STR Guess I’ll give him a ranged weapon and keep him in the back.

The entire party is complete, you can’t see 3 members but rest assured they are in it. You’ll see once we’re in the game proper.

In the character generation shop, taking the form of a small chamber filled with chests demanding jewgold for stuff, I outfit our nearly naked codexers with weapons of mass destruction.

While I pick to have everyone get default equipment, some of the meat shields swap it for better items. Lindblum for example gets some proper barbarian clothing and a greatsword.

His holiness gets an anti-mole shield and morgenstern of smiting. He can’t behead those who insult Pelor with it, however he can still bring great pain upon heathens, apostates and other infidels.

BLOBERT gets his warhammer of BRO and a very BRO helmet along with some serious armor. Who needs DEX when you have massive constitution and a BRO plate armor?

Jimbob gets some better threads instead of filthy peasant clothing. That kind of clothing is good for consoletards not prestigious codex users.

Mrowak grabs us some healing spell scrolls, odds are the party will need them to save somebody from bleeding to death. I forget to get Black Cat a spiffy wizard’s hat like he has. Oh well, she’ll get it later bros as you will see in this chapter.

: BROS, LETS GET THIS BALL ROLLING!

: BRO, TELL ME WHAT TROUBLES YOU.

: I am concerned my friend. One of our brothers has not been heard from for quite some time.

: Divine punishment for being a filthy heathen no doubt!

: Shut up, we’re here to do some adventuring and stuffies.

: Accursed witch of Nippon! I shall not aid who have forsaken the Lord by clinging to paganism. And you will burn at the stake one day for your devilish weaboo sorcery!

: BROS, I AM DOING THE TALKING HERE, TAKE YOUR CHILDISH SHIT OUTSIDE. WHO WAS IT THAT HAS NOT REPORTED HRUDEK?

: Jaroo Ashstaff has not sent us a report in several months. He is the druidical leader of a small village called Hommlet, and we are supposed to hear from him after each wane of the Great Moon.

: Moon worshiping pagans! Embrace Pelor, god of the sun or perish!

: BRO POPE, SHUT THE FUCK UP. WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO PAY HIM A VISIT HRUDEK?

: Yes my friend, I think a visit is in order. Please see if anything is wrong, and ask Jaroo to send us his report.

: A great servant of the Lord reduced to a mere postman for pagans. Pelor shall see you all burn for this!

: As long as I get to kill shit and loot everything of its body I don’t care.

: We must not engage in petty squabble, for it makes us look like ignorant rabble. The plunders of the underworld no doubt await, therefore we must not hesitate.

: I TOTALLY AGREE BROS. IS THAT ALL, HRUDEK?

: Yes, for now my friend, that is all. There are other, more pressing matter to attend to. But I have a more experienced agent looking into those matters.

: Pelor willing, he will fail and suffer eternal torment from the one true Lord.

: AS YOU WISH, HRUDEK. I WILL GO NOW TO SEE JAROO IN HOMMLET.

: May the Great Mother guide your steps, my son.

: BRO, MY MOTHER IS A BIG LADY. BUT SHE IS NOT FAT, YOU TAKE THAT BACK NOW OR I WILL FUCK YOU UP!

: Calm down bro. He was talking about the earth we walk upon and that feeds us all.

: Pagan blasphemy all of it!

: *sigh*

FUCKING HOMMLET

Good thing I’ll be mostly skipping all the petty plebian bullshit. Co8 brought in the form of a dungeon that can potentially kill somebody. However, it is totally doable by a level 1 party. So is technically going straight for the moathouse. However with an 8 man party we need all the exp we can get. That way, some of you may even live to reach level 2

Upon entry we are greeted by a young child. As could have been expected of a proper devout priest, Pope Amole II rushes to meet the boy. However his low intelligence stat is becoming very apparent.

: Greetings young child, would you perchance be interested in becoming my personal altar boy.

: THIS SHIT IS MOST CREEPY AND GAY BRO, PLEASE STOP IT.

: Just shut up and ask him where Jaroo lives. I need to stab things and loot them.

The following is an actual LARP-less non-meta TOEE dialog as brought to you by the Cleric with INT as his dump stat. The fact he was doing the talking was a pure accident, which lead to hilarious results:

: Wow! Are you some sort of adventurer?

: Huh?

: Are you here to find treasure? Oh! You must be here to kill monsters! Tell me, tell me!

: You give answers?

: I can try. I know a lot for my age! Ask me! You’ll see! I’m smart!

Smarter than the pope it seems

: Kid know Ommlet?
Not a typo, just Troika trolling the Pope from beyond the grave

: I’ve lived in Hommlet my whole life. But I’m not allowed away from the yard much. You should look for one of the badgers. They guard the town and know where everything is better than me.

: Me need find Jarew Ashstuffs.

: I know him! I know him! He lives in the big tree just east of here. He’s a really nice man. He can talk to animals! That’s so cool!

In a village as droll as this one, I guess even talking to animals can be considered entertaining.

: Me go now. Bye!

I let Black Cat do the talking now. For one it won’t contrast too much with the LARPed Pope who is of course a badass cleric of Pelor. The pope is a BRO after all.

Don’t worry, this update is most likely the last one to have so much dialog in it. There is a huge Darwinian struggle up ahead after all

: I am Jaroo Ashstaff. I am a druid of the Old Faith, and one of the spiritual leaders of this community.

: Accursed pagan! Repent and embrace Pelor!

: Stop it with the fundamentalist bullshit Pope, we’re in it for the loot not spiritual purity.

: Do not forget of about the evil spreading decline, tis after all what makes the codex whine. Defeating it is a priority, even if we have to… uhm… fuck every girl in the sorority?

: Ah yes, the bard shows what he is interested in the most, pussies, dongs and other plebian vulgarity. I for one am interested in acquiring the arcane knowledge located inside of the temple. And with it immense power of course, then I will flay Mrowak alive with my newly acquired power, for being arrogant enough to also sign up for this…

: You will do what again?

: Guys, Jaroo? Hrudek’s task? Remember? *sigh* Jaroo?! I’ve been looking all over for you. Hrudek in the Gnarley Forest* has been worried about you. You haven’t sent him a report for months.

*That sounds totally metal and bodacious maaan. Real tubular dude!

: Ah yes. There has been a recent increase in bandit activity in the area. I was hoping to research this further before sending in my report.

: Bandits? Looks like some action and loot awaits us!

: Good, my stabbing fingers are itching.

: He seems pretty worried. I think you should send it along soon.

: Perhaps you can help me then. Nearby here is an old Moathouse. It has been the source of bandit activity in the past and it may be so again now. Please investigate the Moathouse for me, and report back what you find.

: BRO, IF IT MEANS KILLING ASSHOLES AND TAKING THEIR POSSESIONS THAN WE’RE ALWAYS DOWN YOU HEAR ME?

Because I don’t want to bore you with trivial shit. I’ll fast forward through the boring crap a bit by only posting highlights.

The hivemind squad visits the tavern and learns of Emridy Meadows from some useless dumbfuck.

I have Mrowak and his Holiness prepare a bunch of spells and let our bros rest for the night before they will finally go and kill something.

: [Tarim laughs good-naturedly.] I wouldn’t know anything about bandits anyway, but I am having a problem with some giant spiders infesting a grove of nearby deklo trees.

Wait, BLOBERT asks him about adventures not bandits, did I miss a screenshot or did Troika actually write this like that? Then again they might have been as bored when writing Hommlet as we are by the trivial provincial nonsense.

: THAT’S JUST THE SORT OF THING I’M LOOKING FOR BRO. I’LL GO KILL THOSE SPIDERS FOR YOU.

: Finally a chance to maim something and loot its corpse.

: Spiders don’t leave anything useful upon death. Unless you consider their bodily fluids useful.

: Philistines like you Mrowak, no doubt consider such fluids a delicacy, a bit sour from all that venom perhaps. No wonder your IQ is so low.

: My INTellingence is higher than yours sorcerer.

: Really? That would be mighty nice of you. Let me mark the location on your map. I just hope Jaroo won’t mind too much.

: I for one hope the pagan filth does mind that we will smite the hellish creatures it worships.

Continued in next post…

 

[Mrowak]

Some fine rolls out there.

I can already see GLORIOUS deaths ahead of us...

and you already start to realise how slow the updates are going to be...

 

[Hellraiser]

The hivemind travels to the Deklo Grove. Time for some action, fucking finally.

: Mexicanus Illegalus, Guido Jerseyus Shorus!

Mrowak does what he does best and causes the arachnid to slip on grease. I have no idea why I had Renegen cast shield. Should have just blasted the spider with a magic missile and be done with it.

: This web of immobility shall not hinder my combat maneuverability! Oh wait.. FUCK!
Yeah it’s a strength check and Jimbob’s STR is a whopping 4. I hate spider webs.

: Did I ever tell you about that one Japanese dungeon crawler…

Black Cat excels at putting arachnids to sleep. For a brief moment combat ends because the other spider didn’t know the codexers were here. They move in closer before the foul beast notices them.

: Hispanicus Minoritus!

Nothing happens for another round since the damn web makes our prestigious meat shields waste a round on trying to break free. Then black cat bores the spiders to death with a sleep spell. Clearly the arachnids cannot appreciate a good obscure game from the promised land of Nippon

: Like murdering children in their sleep. [psychotic laughter]

: Thou shall not compare the children of the Lord to foul arachnids sinner!

hoverdog and Lindblum deliver the coup de grace on the sleeping foes. First blood has been drawn.

The party returns to the inn where a foul drunkard awaits them.

: BRO, GET YOUR FILTHY DRUNKEN MUG OUT OF MY WAY BEFORE MY HAMMER STARTS TO DO THE TALKING.

: I know you are cheating you unwashed swine! You have to be to win with somebody as gifted as I am!

Sadly if Renegen can’t see how Furnok is cheating than nobody will. The party will have to pay for renting rooms for now. Too bad they kind of lost a ton of cash on gambling. But they still have enough left to be able to afford a rest after all that exhausting spellcasting.

Black Cat delivers the good news to the woodcutter. The hivemind becomes more experienced as a result.

: Well met, Black Cat. I am Brother Smyth, the village blacksmith.

: May I ask more questions?

: What would you like to know?

: I’m looking for something different.

: What might that be?

: No offense, but this seems like a boring town. Would you know of anywhere I can find some real action.



Why does this remind me of the dialog with Mira in Modoc back in Fallout 2?

: [Brother Smyth sizes you critically.] Action? What do you mean by that?

: I mean something more exciting than simply meddling in everyone’s personal affairs here.

: The maiden seems wanting, of a good proper mounting. Tis a natural joy, there is no need to be coy… about it. Oh fuck it, goddamn rhymes!

: Lustful sinner! The pious resist the trappings of flesh bard! The impious shall burn…

: Just like you were resisting that young boy we met when entering this dung pit of a village?

: I see. And what do you mean by exciting? Are you looking for whores or something like that. If so, you’ll have to look elsewhere. I don’t arrange that kind of thing.

: BRO, A MAN OF MY CONTITUTION HAS THE LADIES LINE UP TO GET SOME PIECE OF HIM. I DO NOT NEED CHEAP WHORES.

: He wasn’t talking to you tub of lard.

: I’m not looking for whores particularly, no. To be frank, I’m anxious for an opportunity to test my skills in battle. Isn’t there anything going on around here that’s more of a problem than typical day-to-day trivialities of a small village?

: [Brother Smyth laughs.] So… the restless adventurer wants to sally forth into something perhaps beyond her understanding. What makes you think you can handle anything more serious than running local errands?

: Well I have years of experience with dungeon crawling, and not only, titles from the land of Jap…

Eons pass…

After much persuading from black cat (read: boring dialog I skipped), the smith tells her that the guard named Renton can tell us more of some sort of dungeon nearby. The party goes to visit him so that they can get into a fight before you lot fall asleep. And I don’t want to see you miss getting to know who died now do I?

: Well met, BLOBERT. My name is Hroth Renton, and I am captain of the local militia.

: IF I MAY BRO, I HAVE A FEW QUESTIONS.

: What else do you need, sir?

: I HAD AN INTERESTING DISCUSSION WITH YOU TOWN BLACKSMITH, BROTHER SMYTH. HE INDICATED TO ME THAT YOU MIGHT HAVE KNOWLEDGE OF A SITUATION IN THIS AREA THAT MAYE REQUIRE SOME FORCEFUL INTERVENTION.

: It fucking better.

: [Captain Renton looks at you flatly.] Did he now. I wonder whatever he might have been talking about.

: BRO, I HAVE NO DESIRE FOR PATRONIZING BACK-AND-FORTH BULLSHIT LIKE THE ONE I HAD WITH SMYTH. SIMPLY TELL ME WHERE THE TROUBLE LIES AND I’LL SEEK TO ELIMINATE IT FOR YOU. IS THAT SUCH A TERRIBLE THING?

: [Renton looks at you with sudden exasperation that melt disconcertingly away to resignation.] Fine. I’ll spare any further niceties between us then and tell you. Indeed! No more game! Let’s have it our in the open, shall we?

: YES. WHY DON’T WE?

: There is killing and looting to be done, how can you deny us all the uh… fun? Is that even a fucking proper rhyme?!

: Very well. Sit down, son. This is going to be a long story.

: BRO, THAT CHAIR OF YOUR LOOKS INSUFFICIENT TO WITHSTAND ONE OF MY CONSTITUTION. THUS I CANNOT SIT DOWN AND LISTEN, SO SPARE ME THE STORY.

I skip the nonsense (which also is a dialog choice BTW, damn thing is like 6-7 paragraphs of bullshit long after all), long story short some asshole turned into a lich or something. A crappy lich we can kill at level 1, I think. We’ll have to find that out now won’t we?

let’s check that out!

Along the way…

The party encounter four spiders. Meh, we killed 2 what are 4 after all.

Damn web fucked up our melee fighters, we got a few unlucky rolls thus missing them and failing to successfully use grease/sleep and one of the spider raped the Pope with something like 14 damage in one hit. Next time I hit avoid.

Party annihilation count: 1 – death by arachnids


After reloading and rushing past through Renton’s bullshit again the hivemind encounters this:

Time to pop some moles bros!

His Holiness ended up in a bad position. No worries, he has a shield after all and is skilled in the mole popping way.

: Finally! I get to kill something that isn’t asleep.

: it ain’t dead yet…

: Pelor shall be my salvation… *cough*

After popping one of the moles, the Pope gets nearly killed by the other. This is bad, hopefully Mrowak will be able to heal him using one of his scrolls. Oh and Lidblum and hoverdog obviously contributed to killing that damn thing, unlike BLOBERT who’s constitution is apparently getting in the way of his aim

Black Cat critically hits one of the ticks.

: Now that the ticks are dead I will heal you your Holi…. Crap!



Due to my own stupidity, since I should have healed him before combat ended, his Holiness has fallen. May Pelor’s caring embrace be as enjoyable as smiting heathens oh great Pope Amole II.

This pisses me off immensely because his Holiness was an awesome character even if his stats were meh. That and we need a healer badly. That will teach me to save spells for "major" battles. Better use them and get back to the inn than let useful bros die.

That’s it for this part of the update. I’ll post the rest tomorrow, well actually today. I need sleep.
Fortunately I think 40% of the total ingame text we will witness was posted in this update. The next one will have more maiming and killing and less inane banter.

 

[Hellraiser]

Some fine rolls out there.

I can already see GLORIOUS deaths ahead of us... :rofl:

and you already start to realise how slow the updates are going to be...

It's going to get faster as long as I avoid typing conversations. The combat will go more smoothly since that's 90% of the game and I'm only using like one image per 5-7 made. It mostly took me so long because either somebody else wanted to use the laptop or I had to do work-related stuff on it...

 

[Mrowak]

First death already? With the party of 8 meatbags? You are better man than I am!

But seriously - good update. Would do with reducing the levels of snarkiness towards our legendary codexers, though.

 

[Hellraiser]

It is all light hearted, I love all of you bros. That's just how I show my feelings...

 

[Gregz]

It's going to get faster as long as I avoid typing conversations.

 

[Renegen]

Not the pope! He's in a better place now, in a linear corridor leading straight to heaven.

I had the feeling a critical hit was going to do someone in. Ah, the joys of D&D.

 

[Pope Amole II]

Well, it seems like the higher forces were definitely against Pope being in this party, with his majestic stat rolls and tendency to take crits and what not, but still, only my severe busyness (and lazyness) prevent me from starting another ToEE LP with 8 Hellraisers in the party and making them die one after one via inept gameplay.

 

[Smashing Axe]

The slowness with which characters are like to level with 8 characters in a party will probably offset the ridiculous amounts of XP you can obtain from Co8 additional content. Keep up the deaths and updates!

I predict TPK for the giant gar quest

 

[Ashery]

Well, it seems like the higher forces were definitely against Pope being in this party, with his majestic stat rolls and tendency to take crits and what not, but still, only my severe busyness (and lazyness) prevent me from starting another ToEE LP with 8 Hellraisers in the party and making them die one after one via inept gameplay.

At this rate, I suppose it's best for me to throw my hat into the ring.

Ashery
Human
Male
Cleric
Wis > Cha > Con > Str > Int > Dex
Neutral Evil
God: Vecna
Domains: Knowledge and Magic