: Ha! Easiest killing I have ever done. Even easier than killing those spiders in their sleep!
: You know what guys? These kobolds are so pathetic I might as well walk over there and whack them with my staff. Oh shi… [slips]
Yeah, for some totally retarded reason I decided to move Mrowak closer, through the field of grease.
But hey, these Kobolds are so weak that they’ll be dead soon enough.
: Don’t worry Mr. Wizard! The power of friendship will save you!
Mrowak is the only one carrying healing scrolls. God damn that was retarded on my part. To be honest if he didn’t try to stand up he would still have positive HP.
Also BLOBERT misses again, the god of dice rolls hates true bros.
: Join us, come with us…
Black Cat charms the Mrowak-hating kobold in an attempt to save our wizard from getting bludgeoned to death. Fortunately she succeeds!
: Get the hell away from our wizard bro fiend!
: We must make haste or death the wizard will taste! Strike down the fiend oh biggest of bros, or Mrowak will become a diner for crows.
: BRO, I WILL SAVE YOU BY DELIVERING THE FINAL BLOW.
All hope rests in the hands of BLOBERT.
: He missed again…
: Bro, maybe we need to give you a few lessons or something?
: BRO, THANK YOU VERY MUCH BUT I KNOW HOW TO KILL. JUST A BIT RUSTY NOW, MY AIM WILL BE OK SOON.
: Mr. Wizard don’t die now! Life is too good to give up on it!
: Bah! Now I won’t get to kill him myself.
And thus Mrowak becomes the second casualty. His racial slur incantations will be missed
I promise you bros, that is the last retarded death in this LP.
The surviving codexers get some exp and loot every corpse around as proper adventurers always do. Yes, even Mrowak’s. He has those healing scrolls on him after all.
: Dibs on his hat and stuffies!
Told you I would get Black Cat that hat
Oh and the charmed kobold is killed of course. It was a useful pawn, although maybe casting sleep would have been the better option.
The crew makes a trip back to Hommlet to sell all the loot, recruit a new party member and restock on ammo. They encounter two zombies. A wounded party of 8 can handle two zombies right? Should be easy.
[perception] The undead are immune to sleep.
[intelligence] Black Cat knows disrupt undead, I’ll use that instead during her next round.
: The power of love compels you!
: Yes, I can see how very compelled he has just become. What a bunch of useless…
: See? That is how you deal damage. That is why in 10 million years, I will be celebrating another anniversary of my glorious rule over the universe, while you will be a nothing more than a memory from a time when I was a mortal.
: ONE OF THESE DAYS BRO, I WILL SMACK YOU.
Bros, what you can see above is a sight most troubling. BLOBERT hit something, truly the end is near. As prophesied by Cleveland Mark Blakemore, ITZ coming. Next Thursday, you will see.
: Even the dead can die when *I* stab them. Now if only they would leave behind something to loot…
Told you it would be easy.
Back in Hommlet…
Not bad, Running Fox will be our Rogue.
…and now I realized Running Fox was supposed to be a human not an elf!
Sorry bro, my fuck up. I will atone by forcing myself to watch the Mass Effect 3 romance cutscenes.
Please forgive me for my failure
: We need a healer not a rogue you morons.
: My my, butthurt much? Please, do keep on whining. It’s so pathetic that it might even be considered amusing.
The party rests until healed, sells some crap and heads out to the bog again.
A wandering faggot approaches.
We do not need him.
At the bog, the party goes down the ladder they found near the second Kobold ambush…
Inside of a tunnel, they encounter a most ghastly apparition.
: Sup drog?
: Another alt. Just when I wanted to stab something…
The illusion disappears.
: It looks like a proper dungeon, about fucking time!
: Where there is plunder, the adventurers will wander.
: You feel very sleepy now and stuffies.
In the dungeon proper we encounter more Kobolds, black cat puts half of them to sleep.
: OH YEAH! Eat that you doglizard thing.
Epic 14 damage attack by Lindblum.
: You didn’t see me there now did you? Thought as much, silly creature.
We encounter more kobolds up ahead, Lindblum introduces one of them to his greatsword. The result is an unlucky thirteen. Unlucky for the Kobold of course
: The land of Nippon has created many…
Black Cat puts all the Kobolds to sleep!
Also I positioned Running Fox a bit badly. I thought she wouldn’t be the closest target but I was off by a bit so she got hit. But not hard enough to go into negative HP.
One of the Kobolds wakes up before Running Fox can finish him off with a coup de grace. Lindblum deals with the quasi-canine humanoid and the party leaves the dungeon for now. BLOBERT and a few other people are overburdened from all the loot they just acquired. We need to offload that for some jewgold.
However, the party exits using a different entrance than the one it came from…
: SUP DROG?
Another illusion, we head back to Hommlet. There is no encounter, the party gets some rest and I buy Running Fox a rapier since we’re no longer broke and can afford one (she was using a cheap dagger before).
On the way back from Hommlet the hivemind encounters more Kobolds. The choice is obvious, they need to be killed and their corpses looted.
: And they say cats are lazy and sleep all day. Nyaa!
: Now that you failed to stop me, I will kill all your friends in their sleep. Sounds fun doesn’t it?
: Open up your heart! Let the joy of life and rainbows overcome you!
The sneaky rogue vixen murders a Kobold in its sleep.
Lindblum and hoverdog are a gift that keeps on giving. Really, unlike BLOBERT who is doing precisely jack, they keep killing things. Running Fox looks like she will contribute as much as them.
Guess Mrowak dying wasn’t so bad after all. Sure we could use his conjuration focus and grease, but Black Cat's sleep should be sufficient for now. I can always pick it up on Renegen if needed. Although I rather have him specialize in evocation and just burn shit with fireballs.
Lindblum brutally maims another one! 15 damage in one attack, that’s at least twice as much as BLOBERT did since character creation
Got a ton of loot, guess we’ll head back to town again, sell some of it and grab hoverdog some better weapons.
Maybe a pair of morgensterns? Could be useful for that blunt damage since BLOBERT can’t hit the broad side of a barn with his warhammer.
That would be it for this chapter. It appears I will have to travel to the other side of potatoland soon so there may not be another update until next week when I get back.
However here is a bonus to stroke our collective hivemind ego:
We should call the award for most consecutive hits the anti-BLOBERT award
Yeah wasted a bit of ammo with that. I’ll stick to having him blast stuff with magic missiles and fireballs. BLOBERT's misses are a lot more noticeable and detrimental to our party though.
Half of those were by coup de grace so the score is a bit skewed.
Well, Mrowak was hit for as much damage as was his Holiness IIRC. But the dead don’t count I guess
Meh, it was a coup de grace. He did get a 15 at most with a regular attack as we saw.
Disrupt undead ain’t bad for a level 0 spell. It is situational but it does *something* unlike the rest of those spells (apart from heal minor wounds or whatever is the weakest heal spell called).
I wonder who will be the next victim of survival of the fittest. Most likely somebody who will get critically hit I guess.