Crispy™ The Trial of Crispeh

[King Crispy]

I have presented my case. My counsel has betrayed me. I stand alone before Codex, defenseless. There is nothing more I can do or say.

Let's get this over with.

 

[Helton]

"GUILTY!" The prosecutor screams as he shatters the gavel down on the table. (Lore Success! In Codexian tradition the prosecutor does this instead of the judge...?)

*Helton receives 1,000 exp for successfully prosecuting a criminal
*Flying Spaghetti Monster receives 1,000 exp for betraying his friend and client to an uncertain fate
*Crispy receives "Accepted the Inevitable" trait
*Codex alignment shifted 2 points towards chaotic
*5 lulz distributed to all onlookers.


"The Administration will now decide your punishment! Recommendations from those present are welcome!"

 

[Ranselknulf]

Redemption is a strange and twisted path... which happens to lead through prosperland

 

[gromit]

 

[Scruffy]

I suggest that the punishment consists in Crispy brofisting any codexer he wants, until the quota of 1000 brofists given is achieved, since he has demonstrated to not wanting to use that feature, and whatever the reason might be, at least it'll probably piss him off.

 

[King Crispy]

A very small bead of sweat forms on Crispy's brow.

 

[Gragt]

Tchi tchi!

 

[Abelian]

*character assassination attempt

10-0 = 0

So I heard you teach others math and stuff

Edit: character assassination attempt failed due to low rolls

 

[VentilatorOfDoom]

have you installed the latest version of jquery on your computer Crispy?

 

[Tzaero]

Helton shouldnt DU be the one dispensing the justice?

 

[Zorba the Hutt]

"The Administration will now decide your punishment! Recommendations from those present are welcome!"

In such a serious case the punishment has to be severe. What sort of example is he setting to other chaste computer repairmen on the Codex? Hit him where it hurts.

In future Crispy is forbidden from posting images of, referring to or in any way fantasising over actresses younger than 15. Posters from Emma Watson's first movie and Drew Barrymore in ET will be removed from view in Crispy's workshop and donated to starving orphans in Ethiopia. Any violation will result in an immediate forfeiture of his coveted moderation powers in the Sports forum and a 6 month exile to those lively forums at RPGWatch.

 

[DakaSha]

Crispy demands Trial by Honor

The gods will decide who's honor is stronger.

The prosecutor is shocked by the suggestion. "There has not been a Trial by Honor here since the second age!" He calls forth his champion, DakaSha , in case Crispy indeed invokes this ancient rite.

The defendant has already abused his ties with the administration and had me exiled, likely as preparation for just this occasion.

A bit convenient, i'd say.

 

[Admiral jimbob]

The BUMFACE leaps from his bench, spluttering, drooling on the tranny in front of him, farting profusely

"BLUBUBLBBUBULBUBLUB I WOULD ALSO LIKE TO ACCUSE THE CRISPY OF NEVER HAVING LOVED ME, FURTHERMORE THERE IS SHIT IN HIS BEARD. GLUUUUUUUUAAAAGH"

 

[Ninjerk]

Your Honor should take into consideration that the defendant makes frequent use of puns--corny ones.

 

[Admiral jimbob]

OH GOD I TRIPPED AND DRAGGED MY BALLS ALONG THE PROSECUTOR'S WIG AND NOW MY BALLS ARE ITCHY AND ALL SORTS OF HORRIBLE GAY THINGS MIGHT ENSUE!!!!00 JUDGE!! JUUUUUUDGE

 

[Ulminati]

Forcible removal of the virginity of the accused is the only way to reform him into a productive member of society. It has warped his perception of the world.

 

[DakaSha]

Forcible removal of the virginity of the accused is the only way to reform him into a productive member of society. It has warped his perception of the world.

Like i said, ive been exiled.

 

[laclongquan]

My hasty proof of good character for Crispy is a bit hasty, but we fight with the tool in hands.

I present

exhibit A and B

 

[DragoFireheart]

Judge Helton, Crispy's verdict is clearly one in ignorance. I have critical evidence that will possibly sway your verdict.

I knew about Watchwitz long before I made my request to DarkUnderlord. But what evidence do I have of what I say?

I know that I called Trash an impotent cunt (hence the tag change) and had a shitposting thread with Daedalous (hence the additional tag). These two actions were clearly what caused me to be placed under Watchwitz status.
But that did not upset me.

Being on Watchwtiz made this site load slowly and would redirect me to RPGWatch.
But this did not upset me.

Since I had to waste time waiting for the site to load, I spent less time on RPG Codex. My life improved. I was becoming free.
But this did not upset me.

Crispy's attempt to "save me" was actually very embarrassing and frustrating as I was ok with playing along with DarkUnderlords game of installing jquery. Any joke, even at my expense, is amusing in its own way. I was enjoying the joke DU played: Crispy's post is what caused me rage. I made an attempt to keep the topic on track, but only the most inane and moronic Codexer would fall for it. Now that the joke was ruined before it started, I felt this urge to go back to posting on the regular topics I enjoy (and probably a lot less in politics). With this desire to once again post on the Codex, I feel my life degrade yet again. The freedom was fading away.

Crispy ruining the joke upset me. I now feel this urge to come to the Codex more in some vain attempt to salvage what was lost, be it with discussing RPGs, or earning futility and pointless brofist. I feel enslaved to the Codex, pathetic and stupid.

Your honor, Crispy's interference caused me far more pain than anything DU did to me these past few weeks. Whether he intended to cause me pain or or not, Crispy is innocent.

 

[Scruffy]

Forcible removal of the virginity of the accused is the only way to reform him into a productive member of society. It has warped his perception of the world.

So what you are saying is, Codexian fundraiser and pay a prostitute and send her to crispy's house (we all know his address anyway)?

 

[Admiral jimbob]

IF ANYONE IS REQUIRED TO FUCK THE DEFENDANT I *HUFF* *HUFF* AARARGLE I STAND WITH SKINNY BONER LIKE AN ANTENNA TO HEAVAN

*violently pisses on the jury bench, a woman vomits at the acrid smell *

 

[Random]

This attendee would like to request a moratorium to force the bumface to update his CYOA rather than excrete shitposts in the bowels of the Codex. Beautiful and enlightening as they might be, the bumface's shits are wasted here, where the shit is piled up to our necks.

 

[racofer]

Forcible removal of the virginity of the accused is the only way to reform him into a productive member of society. It has warped his perception of the world.

So what you are saying is, Codexian fundraiser and pay a prostitute and send her to crispy's house (we all know his address anyway)?

Who do I have to piss off to get the same privilege?

 

[Night Goat]

This attendee would like to request a moratorium to force the bumface to update his CYOA rather than excrete shitposts in the bowels of the Codex. Beautiful and enlightening as they might be, the bumface's shits are wasted here, where the shit is piled up to our necks.

This attendee would like to request a moratorium to force Random to update his CYOA.

 

[Scruffy]

Forcible removal of the virginity of the accused is the only way to reform him into a productive member of society. It has warped his perception of the world.

So what you are saying is, Codexian fundraiser and pay a prostitute and send her to crispy's house (we all know his address anyway)?

Who do I have to piss off to get the same privilege?

just give us your address