Crispy™ The Trial of Crispeh

[Ninjerk]

This attendee would like to request a moratorium to force the bumface to update his CYOA rather than excrete shitposts in the bowels of the Codex. Beautiful and enlightening as they might be, the bumface's shits are wasted here, where the shit is piled up to our necks.

This attendee would like to request a moratorium to force Random to update his CYOA.

I would like to further request a moratorium on any mandates regarding unfinished LPs!

 

[Helton]

Your honor, Crispy's interference caused me far more pain than anything DU did to me these past few weeks. Whether he intended to cause me pain or or not, Crispy is innocent.

The prosecutor sniffles as a single tear rolls down his cheek.

"A beautiful tale, young Firefart. Alas... A verdict, once entered, is out of my hands. Crispy's fate lies in the hands of The Administration. May they have mercy on his soul."

 

[Revenant]

Forcible removal of the virginity of the accused is the only way to reform him into a productive member of society. It has warped his perception of the world.

So what you are saying is, Codexian fundraiser and pay a prostitute and send her to crispy's house (we all know his address anyway)?

Who do I have to piss off to get the same privilege?

It would be either a privilege or a penalty depending on the gender of the prostitute, really.

 

[Scruffy]

It would be either a privilege or a penalty depending on the gender of the prostitute, really.

you must be new here

 

[Revenant]

No, it's you who doesn't get the joke

 

[Koschey]

The court room grows silent. The witnesses are heard.

No doubt, this is the shitposter.
The shoutbox was so foggy, no one could have recognised the culprit.

Indeed! It was the defendant. He even has the mug of a domesticated snowman.
He is as innocent as a virgin!

The pleading of the prosecution...
"The obscene behaviour of the defendant and his connections to Prosper are widely known. The defendant
deserves to be watchwitzed, as the witnesses have very believably demonstrated. The witnesses have unambiguously
shown the defendant's guilt. Thus I demand the defendant to be sentenced for his shitposting."


The pleading of the defence...
"The defendant has always been a paragon of virtue for all of GD. Now he is supposed to be a shitposter? I don't think so.
In my opinion, the defendant was wrongfully accused. It is completely incomprehensible that this man should be guilty.
All these years he was Drog's alt? That's impossible. I plead not guilty. How do you even dare accuse this monocled
gentleman of such a crime? I demand his release and that henceforth he will no longer be harassed."

The court received Helton's donation.

Crispy decides not to bribe the court.

The court will now render judgement!

 

[SuicideBunny]

tl;dr: ban crispy.

 

[DraQ]

Your Other Honor

 

[Admiral jimbob]

I DEMAND THAT MY CLAIMS BE HEWARD BLAUGLWAUGALGUWAGLAWUGAWG

I INVOKE THE TREATY OF BUMFACE 1669 AND DECLARE MYSELF AN HEIR TO TE DONG THRONE

 

[Ninjerk]

I DEMAND THAT MY CLAIMS BE HEWARD BLAUGLWAUGALGUWAGLAWUGAWG

I INVOKE THE TREATY OF BUMFACE 1669 AND DECLARE MYSELF AN HEIR TO TE DONG THRONE

thou art but a pretender and a knave

 

[Whisky]

This trial has gone on long enough.

Crispy, for your crimes against the Codex, I hereby sentence you to buy RK47 a lifetime supply of KFC.

 

[MasterSmithFandango]

This trial has gone on long enough.

Crispy, for your crimes against the Codex, I hereby sentence you to buy RK47 a lifetime supply of KFC.

 

[Ninjerk]

This trial has gone on long enough.

Crispy, for your crimes against the Codex, I hereby sentence you to buy RK47 a lifetime supply of KFC.

Women in the gallery swoon left and right while a small child wails inconsolably.

 

[Helton]

This trial has gone on long enough.

Crispy, for your crimes against the Codex, I hereby sentence you to buy RK47 a lifetime supply of KFC.

"Silence! There will be no sentence. This is something different now."

The prosecutor seems possessed by some otherforumly spirit. Shit begins to spew from his ears.

"The charade has ended, Whisky of The Administration, newfag, you think yourself The Solution, but witness the Final Solution -- JUSTICE rains down on your decaying institution!"

Whisky is overcome by an impotent rage he can neither understand nor resist. He rages silently.

"How does it feel, excrementor scum? A bit like my brother, Cloaked Figure, banished for over a year! Or fare spacemoose PBUH, OUR VOICES WILL BE HEARD! I am the thief of the forum, the gnashing teeth in the shitbox! I am Helton and Helton, the monocle and shitposter, vanquisher of babyarm, and today you will hear my verdick! Blessed are the Watchwitzed, for they shall inherit the forum. Woe to the moderator. Woe to the admin! I see arising on the The Administration's island a new forum, made in RPGWatch's image! A forum with no phelot, and no Fez, and no Proverbial Saints. You read but do not infer, you think but do not consider! Look at the wretched discourse you now permit! Discussion of INCLINE and a NEW GOLDEN AGE! What is this popamole shit! I condemn you all to your own creation. In Babel they built a tower, on the Codex, YOU HAVE BUILT A TOWER AS WELL! A watchtower. Do they understand? Can they? YOU ARE ALL THE WATCHWITZ'D!"

 

[King Crispy]

Okay that was weird.

 

[Andyman Messiah]

I have to find a new dealer.

 

[Anselmus]

Excellent. Now that the horses have arrived, proceed with the hanging, drawing, and quartering!

 

[DefJam101]

Your Other Honor,

fuck you i spit-taked coke all over my monitor

 

[Whisky]

This trial has gone on long enough.

Crispy, for your crimes against the Codex, I hereby sentence you to buy RK47 a lifetime supply of KFC.

"Silence! There will be no sentence. This is something different now."

The prosecutor seems possessed by some otherforumly spirit. Shit begins to spew from his ears.

"The charade has ended, Whisky of The Administration, newfag, you think yourself The Solution, but witness the Final Solution -- JUSTICE rains down on your decaying institution!"

Whisky is overcome by an impotent rage he can neither understand nor resist. He rages silently.

"How does it feel, excrementor scum? A bit like my brother, Cloaked Figure, banished for over a year! Or fare spacemoose PBUH, OUR VOICES WILL BE HEARD! I am the thief of the forum, the gnashing teeth in the shitbox! I am Helton and Helton, the monocle and shitposter, vanquisher of babyarm, and today you will hear my verdick! Blessed are the Watchwitzed, for they shall inherit the forum. Woe to the moderator. Woe to the admin! I see arising on the The Administration's island a new forum, made in RPGWatch's image! A forum with no phelot, and no Fez, and no Proverbial Saints. You read but do not infer, you think but do not consider! Look at the wretched discourse you now permit! Discussion of INCLINE and a NEW GOLDEN AGE! What is this popamole shit! I condemn you all to your own creation. In Babel they built a tower, on the Codex, YOU HAVE BUILT A TOWER AS WELL! A watchtower. Do they understand? Can they? YOU ARE ALL THE WATCHWITZ'D!"

"...That was objectionable..."

 

[Krash]

Objection! The prosecution is badgering the defendant.

read it as buggering first

 

[Helton]

"...That was objectionable..."

SUSTAINED! DENIED! SUSTAINED! DENIED!

 

[Revenant]

What is with this retarded trial drama fetish all kwans seem to have. Every fucking TV series needs to have at least one trial episode, and now this. "Your honor", "objection" - just know that for the rest of the world this shit of yours seems really stupid.

 

[Hoaxmetal]

What is with this retarded trial drama fetish all kwans seem to have. Every fucking TV series needs to have at least one trial episode, and now this. "Your honor", "objection" - just know that for the rest of the world this shit of yours seems really stupid.

You don't have courts/laws in your country, do you?

Anyway, this thread is worse than Crispy.

 

[Revenant]

You don't have courts/laws in your country, do you?

Normal countries have the continental law system, not this imperial bullshit precedental theatrics.

 

[SoupNazi]

enough of this poppycock jibber-jabbers!