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The upgraded writing

kingcomrade

Kingcomrade
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A little belated but the new writing is greatly superior to the originals. I'm glad your writer figured out brevity and dropped most of the overly extravagant prose.
 

MINIGUNWIELDER

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Roqua said:
I hate to sound like a big gay idiot (which as we all know is impossible), but the critisism of the writing is getting very tiresome. It was good before, its better now, lets finish this bitch while I still kind of like playing video games at all.

Everyone's fabulous showing of how awesomer they would've been as an editor is neat and all, but shut the fuck up, you candy ass pussies. I would much rather have a game with a couple minor flaws now, than a game with a couple less flaws in 2009. What a bunch of crybaby, knitpicky bitches.

Or, I'll give you $50 if you let me beta test what you have now, and I get to download a free copy in 2011 when it goes gold. But wait, inflation might make $50 worth a lot less so far in the future, so I'll just rebuy it with all the updated graphics and words.

QFT
 

One Wolf

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kingcomrade said:
A little belated but the new writing is greatly superior to the originals. I'm glad your writer figured out brevity and dropped most of the overly extravagant prose.

what makes you think he figured out brevity and dropped the extravagant prose?
 

kingcomrade

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One Wolf said:
kingcomrade said:
A little belated but the new writing is greatly superior to the originals. I'm glad your writer figured out brevity and dropped most of the overly extravagant prose.

what makes you think he figured out brevity and dropped the extravagant prose?
You must've missed the first post in the thread. There you go!

Or were you actually trying to say something?
 

One Wolf

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i'm sorry, but you lost me.

that stuff on the first page is loaded with extravagant prose/cliche. was there other stuff by same author that was more so? i'm trying to figure out what text you are comparing to what. or are you just saying that you prefer his edits to my own? i certainly respect that, i'm just looking for clarification.

mine
 

kingcomrade

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Sorry, I thought you were being antagonistic out of the blue (not exactly rare on the Codex).

I didn't really word my opinion that well, but basically I was trying to say that a lot of the overly intricate constructions, as if the author was trying too hard to create complex prose, was cut in VD's edit and left just enough for it to be interesting with having the wanna-be extravagance shoved down my throat. I was trying to say that the writing had become simpler and better (hence brevity).

I read your post and I agree with you about fantasy clichés the naturally nancy tone that seems to get shipped with the Fantasy Creation Kit but for a game I think it wasn't terribly inappropriate or noticeable.
 

Claw

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Project: Eternity Divinity: Original Sin 2
kingcomrade said:
I was trying to say that a lot of the overly intricate constructions, as if the author was trying too hard to create complex prose, was cut in VD's edit and left just enough for it to be interesting with having the wanna-be extravagance shoved down my throat. I was trying to say that the writing had become simpler and better (hence brevity).
Care to give an example? Because I still ain't sure I quite understand. What is "VD's edit" referring to?
 

Severian Silk

Guest
Can we get some updated examples? Or, have they not changed?
 

Vault Dweller

Commissar, Red Star Studio
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28,024
Sure.

Before:
Does your have a quests for me, kind sir?

After:
Do ur haev quests lol kthxby?
 

John Yossarian

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Look on the bright side Mikail. From now on, everytime you wish a dev. would communicate more with fans, you can always remember this and realize it could be worse.
 

MountainWest

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Over there
Vault Dweller said:
Sure.

Before:
Does your have a quests for me, kind sir?

After:
Do ur haev quests lol kthxby?

I like 'em, I like 'em a lot! They're both edgy, immersive and kinda next-gen. Perhaps a bit too verbose, but no biggie. Still, I can't help but wonder: why the question in the first place? Don't all quest-givers have big green exclamation points hovering over their heads?
 

Vault Dweller

Commissar, Red Star Studio
Developer
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Messages
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Of course they do. We are very familiar with all the latest trends and what the gamers want. However, AoD is what we call "a role-playing RPG", so we felt it's important to give players an option to pretend that they don't see the exclamation point and actually "ask" a question.
 

Ander Vinz

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May 25, 2007
Messages
645
Vault Dweller said:
After:
Do ur haev quests lol kthxby?
Still too much text. You're making role-playing, not role-reading game, aren't you?

I prefer something like this:

Carrinas (is) dead.
1. run
2. wait
3. (commit) suicide [respawning at start location]

You can throw out most verbs, adjectives and articles to make people think it's at least our-gen game, not previous-gen.
 

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