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Why are certain people raptors? - The Raptor Watch thread

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jcd

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LundB

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YOU BRED RAPTORS?!

Speaking of which, I guess this means it's time to repost some of 'that' material from the lund-meltdown pm archive:
Life Will Find A Way
Dr Henry Wu was outraged by Dr Malcolm's suggestion that life would find a way. "You're implying that a group composed entirely of female animals will... breed?" he exclaimed with disdain. Elsewhere in the Park...something interesting was happening in the Velociraptor enclosure...

Muldoon, the grizzled gamekeeper noticed there was a lot of movement in the bushes in a darkened corner. Perplexed by this rush of activity during the Raptor's usual sleeping time he moved closer to investigate. After many years of hunting in the wilds of Africa, Muldoon didn't think there was anything left that could shock him. He was wrong. As he tentatively pulled back a branch obscuring his view, he saw a spectacle of dazzling depravity unfold before him. A female raptor had fashioned a large phallus out of wood, using her razor sharp claws to whittle the wood down to the desired shape and size and had attached this phallus to her groin.

Her two younger accomplices had pinned down another raptor and the sight brought back memories for Muldoon of a hot dusty day in the Congo when after 4 months of trekking and hunting the men became desperate and had captured a female gorilla and proceeded to brutalise her beyond belief. This memory brought a wry smile to Muldoon's face as he slowly extracted his own hunting tool, and firmly grasping it, proceeded to pleasure himself at the sight of the female raptors orgy of violence.

The victim of the raptor on raptor abuse had given up struggling and was consigned to her fate, unless Muldoon was very much mistaken he saw a single tear roll down her cheek and this was too much for the hunting veteran and he spewed forth his seed, blasting hot jet after hot jet of milky life-giving fluid over the floor. He reclothed and left quickly before he was spotted. Shortly afterwards the rapist raptor noticed the fresh stains that Muldoon had left behind, and with a glint in her eye rolled the phallus in Muldoon's milky fluid. Turning back to her victim with what can only be described as an evil laugh bellowing from the depths of her pre-historic gullet as she assumed the position ready to penetrate again, this time aided by Muldoon's salty offerings.

As Dr Malcolm said..."Life will find a way"

Newborn Jealousy
Henry Wu smiled at the enclosed egg chamber laid on the table in front of him, as one of its contents started to slowly wobble to life.

“Ah, perfect timing.” He beamed.

“Henry, Henry. Why didn’t you tell me? You know I insist upon being here, when they’re born” said Hammond, seductively snapping on a latex glove as he and his guests gingerly approached. Henry raised his clipboard and pretended to note down lab information, a habit that came to him when he was sexually frustrated. Hammond had regrettably been present for all the births since he had been back on the island, but before that, Henry had been in charge. And he frequently had been alone at the births, a beautiful time of sensual discovery that he now looked back upon with spectacles more rose coloured than Mr DNA himself. It had allowed him to view and even ‘interact’ with the dinosaur infants. Just thinking about it made him throb with desire. Unfortunately, his initial wonder had swiftly turned to manic sexual obsession. And he had embraced the change. In no time at all, he had gone from being enraptured to being in raptors.

As the beast on the table cautiously peaked out from the cracked egg and made its first sound, Henry’s loins burned to their expected and messy conclusion: all over the inside of his trousers. More thankful then ever for his long lab coat, he attempted to distract himself by fielding a comment made by one of Hammond’s guests.

“You’re implying that a group composed entirely of female animals will breed?”

“No’ replied the tall chaos-tician, ‘I’m simply saying that life will, uh, find a way.”

Henry smiled, for he had certainly found a way to breed, violently in fact. Being a top scientist, Henry had been able to spoon feed Hammond any number of impressive sounding DNA-themed expiations for the dozens of dead baby raptors, all deceased at the working end of Henry’s manhood. Luckily Hammond had no interest in the computer terminals and hard drives scattered around the lab, all of which were now entirely filled with digital images of Henry committing such acts. Before he could dwell too deeply on this, a question from the same guest beckoned him.

“But again, how do you know they’re all female’ asked Dr Malcolm ‘Does someone go into the park and, uh, look up all the dinosaurs skirts?”

“No, we control their chromosomes’, offered Henry, ‘It’s really not that difficult. It just takes an extra chromosome at the right developmental stage to make them male. We simply deny them that.”

And he knew all about denial, having to resist his base urges for the little toothy ones around company these last few days. Despite having an enormous visual library (including pictures, audio, and video, not to mention screensavers) of his jailbait reptile fun, to the point where he’d had to delete years of painstakingly detailed DNA research to house it all, he couldn’t live with just memories. Once again, he started to scribble what he pretended was important notes on his clipboard. In fact, he was merely putting the final detail to a crudely rendered pencil drawing of himself cuddling a table full of dinosaur eggs. In the picture, Henry was sporting a boner longer than his arm and a big smiley face. Because in the picture, he had plans for those eggs, plans that had to wait in real life. Henry sighed, and scribbled further detail into his latest artwork.

Picking up the barely hatched raptor in its egg, Dr Alan Grant gazed in wonder and turned to Henry.

“What species is this?” he asked.

Desperately trying to sound as casual as possible, Henry tried to content his throbbing jealously and retorted;

“It’s, uh, a velociraptor.”

Dr Grant replied with a mixture of disbelief, and, Henry detected, more than a hint of sexual awakening.

“You bred raptors?”

Henry nodded solemnly and kept eye contact, hoping and praying that Grant would catch on. With a partner they could conspire to be alone with his beloved babies. With a partner they could collectively speculate, in order to accumulate more sexy raptor time. With a partner he could finally make his dream of youngling dinosaur porn a reality. He had now been nodding his head at Alan for well over a minute, but the point needed to be made. He bred raptors all right.

Raptor Rape Reversal
Tim and Lex desperately scampered through the polished steel maze of Jurassic Park’s main kitchen, hurrying towards the far door as two Raptors bust through the entrance behind them, sending broken sections of the door lock scattering over the cold floor surface. Hearing this, the children opened the sliding door to the nearest unit, pushed aside the unused pots and pans and climbed in, nervously sliding the door closed behind them. Outside this temporary sanitary, the monsters staggered closer, heads weaving left and right, smelling, looking, hunting the child flesh they sensed was close!


The lead velociraptor was called Raaazerchakz, and he loved being a big scary monster! Along with his fellow raptor, Bill, they had roamed free through the island killing, raping, and eating (in random order) various humans and other dinosaurs, all of which had been terrific fun. Had been. Raaazerchakz was quickly becoming bored, frustrated with having to do all the work while Bill lingered behind and then helped himself once the prey was caught. He needed a new thrill, and looking at his colleague bent over, sniffing for the young meat, he realised what he wanted to do. He would live the ultimate thrill, perform the worse taboo, an abomination in the eyes of the dinosaurs gods. He would have sex with a member of his own species!

The thought alone was glorious, and a toothy grin spread across Raaazerchakz’s evil face, his snakelike eyes narrowed as he charged at Bill, entering him bone dry. The intertwined lizard lovers smashed into a nearby kitchen worktop, and Raaazerchakz started to go to work on Bill, who screeched his disapproval and started thrashing his tail wildly. Pots and pans clanged loudly as they were hurled off the half destroyed kitchen unit by the bumming beasts, flying silver tributes to their wrong love. Frantically pumping, Raaazerchakz used his right claw to hook into the tail, preventing it from knocking him. With his other claw, Raaazerchakz started to lightly puncture Bill’s back in various places, giving him a brutal backscuttler. This was something he had heard about back when he was in his pen, separated from a jumping escape by two layers of razor wire mesh netting, inter and outer. Testing the mesh for weaknesses, he had snagged his long neck and heard about the act whilst hoisted on the inter net. That inter net was a dangerous and scary place to be, but Raaazerchakz thanked the white bearded dinosaur god for it now!

Nearing his powerful, often lethal climax, Raaazerchakz suddenly stopped when he noticed that Bill had bent his back legs down and turned his head to look back, smiling! This rape had turned into sex! Disgusted, Raaazerchakz pulled out and staggered back, before dropping to a bent position and throwing up violently all over the shiny, confusing floor. And just as the bones and half eaten people parts had finished exiting his stomach, he was slammed into from behind by Bill, who entered him without permission and sent both raptors hurtling into a walk in refrigerator door. They hit with such impact that the door came off it’s hinges and skewered around Raaazerchakz, trapping his head and neck. Now the rape tables had turned! As Bill started performing his own horrid sex acts on his new partner, Raaazerchakz was left trapped, only able to see the reflection of his own face in the fridge’s inner glass panel, his torment mirrored back to him.

Root Her
Robert Muldoon was not a man to be trifled with. For years he had plied his trade as a big game hunter in Kenya, utilizing every scrap of his savage cunning and imposing physical frame – as well as his arsenal of highly explosive weaponry – to outsmart, outmanoeuvre and outexplode some of the mightiest and most dangerous creatures known to nature. He was normally as patient as a stone and would spend hours, even days at a time rooted to the spot, silently waiting for his quarry to show up so that he could decorate his lion skull cabin with more lion skulls. Nonetheless, today his patience was wearing thin. “It’s this bloody island”, he thought to himself. Ever since he’d accepted the job at InGen working at their new tourist attraction, he’d been effectively confined to the role of construction overseer – an occupation wholly at odds with his hands-on-heads-off personality – and he couldn’t deny he was beginning to feel restless.


Just as he was contemplating a change of career, his self reflection was cut off by a loud, metallic “CLANG!” as the final pylon was hauled into place atop the heavy-duty maximum security enclosure being erected behind him, reminding him that it had been a long, long time since he’d been involved in erections of a more personal nature. Absently, he adjusted his crotch as he picked up his radio and signalled to the foreman that the enclosure was ready for it’s occupants. Hoisting himself up onto a platform above the solid metal gate, he looked out over the large, tropical forest surrounding him and began to wait for the transport cage to arrive. The forest itself was of the lush green palm variety normally associated with small islands located off the coast of Costa Rica, and was superbly lit by a completely dark night sky – almost as if some celestial lighting assistant had had a hand in it somehow.

“Hola, Senor Muldoon!” one of the workers called up to him as they passed by. Muldoon peered at him, trying to make out who it was. “Oh yes,” he thought as recognition set in, “that’ll be young Joffrey”. Joffrey was one of the few men on the island who never really got credited for anything, one of those men that InGen CEO John Hammond constantly referred to as “Our delightfully expendable workforce”. Muldoon nodded curtly to young Joffrey, making sure to maintain eye contact for slightly longer than was socially acceptable. Joffrey smiled back coquettishly and gave him an almost effeminate wink. Wiping his mouth slightly, Muldoon once more adjusted himself and went back to surveying the surrounding area, trying very VERY hard not to think about how long it had been since he’d given his rifle a good cocking.

After what seemed like an eternity atop the platform but was really only a couple of seconds give or take a second or two, a mighty roar sounded out across the acres of thickly carpeted wilderness. One by one in the distance, trees began to crash to the floor as if some massive reptilian behemoth were charging towards them. “About bloody time!” Muldoon thought to himself as the bulldozer finally emerged from the overgrowth, pushing a large steel box before it. Quickly, he motioned to the other workers to help him get the enclosure door open as the bulldozer pulled up to the side and lowered the crate with a loud THUMP. “Alright now,” he shouted, “pushers move in! Loading team move it! Come on, come on!”

The movement of the crate however, had clearly angered its occupant. A mighty shriek and a series of loud, high pitched roars emanated from the slats on either side of the crate as a large yellowish and distinctly non-human eye peered out menacingly. The creature snapped and growled and began to hurl itself against the side of the cage, startling the workers who retreated back a few steps. Now THIS, Muldoon reflected, THIS was more like it! Angry, dangerous animals wanting nothing more than to tear him apart – THIS was the kind of job he could get his teeth into! Whether it was due to the previous six months or so of utter boredom, or whether it was some other dark impulse Muldoon never knew, but almost without thinking he covertly loosened the bolts on the door to the cage, taking great care to ensure no one saw him do so.

“Alright, steady…” he said to the other workers, “Get back in there now, PUSH! Get back in there! Don’t let her know you’re afraid…”

Gingerly, the other workers approached the cage and with great effort managed to push it up against
the open slot on the side of the enclosure. As it thudded against the side, a green light flicked on indicating that contact had been made. Oh, how Muldoon longed for contact! He smiled to himself. As long as the bolts on that cage door were secure, no amount of throwing itself against the side would allow the animal to escape! Quickly, he checked to make sure they were sufficently loose. “Well locked!” He cried, “Loading team, step away. Joffrey – raise the gate!”

Quickly, Joffrey clambered on top of the cage and began to do as he was told. He knew all too well what manner of creature they were dealing with, and he didn’t want to waste any time getting it securely behind those twelve-foot thick concrete walls lined with high voltage electric fences. As he leaned forward to grab the gate release, however, the creature made it’s move! With a loud shriek it threw itself against the panel next to the bolts Muldoon had loosened, ripping the door from it’s hinges and knocking the cage back, sending Joffrey crashing onto the unforgiving jungle floor below and jarring every bone in his body! Howling in triumph, the creature shot out a brown, scaly limb and sunk a vicious, sabre-like claw into the workman’s fleshy ankle, tearing through the muscle and bone and locking itself firmly in place. Joffrey screamed at the top of his lungs as he was dragged forcefully back inside the cage, powerless to resist the creature’s superior strength.

Muldoon suppressed an excited grin as he immediately began to shout instructions to the panic-stricken construction crew. “Tasers, get in there goddamnit! You there – ” he motioned to one dumbstruck engineer, “Bring me four tranq rifles, a vial of nerve toxins and a camera goddamnit! And make sure it’s a bloody video camera this time!”

Joffrey howled in terror as his efforts to stay put failed. Unable to break the creature’s hold he cracked his head brutally against the side of the cage and lost all ability to resist as his senses became groggy. A rank odour of decaying meat and faeces lined the air of the cage and it was all he could do to suppress his gag reflex the way his gym teacher had taught him. As his head cleared slightly he was able to make out the dreadful beast which had just snared him. Standing almost eight feet high, with mottled brown and green skin and rows of curved, serrated teeth was Velociraptor Antirrhopus: a killing machine of almost unsurpassed intelligence, lethality and sexual appetite. It’s long forearms ended in five muscular digits, each sporting an intimidating-looking claw. It leered at him wickedly, and Joffrey knew his end was nigh.

Strangely enough though, he didn’t really mind! While Joffrey would have preferred not to die, this prehistoric jack the ripper was somehow the most beautiful creature he had ever seen – from her lustrous amber eyes to her graceful, prehensile tail – all the way to her muscular thighs and smooth, curvy footclaws. It would be an honour to be ravaged by such a….a…goddess! Blissfully and with complete disregard for his mutilated ankle and gashed open head, he reached out and smiled at the creature as she reared up and opened her jaws…

By now the activity outside the cage had reached ‘pandemonium’ status. Frightened workers ran around like headless compys trying to find a way to secure the cage and free their colleague. In a state of calm bliss, Muldoon strode over to the radio and casually informed the Jurassic Park control centre that they were ready for the other raptors now and also while they were at it perhaps a few crates of strong alcohol and some women’s clothing. Almost trembling with anticipation but remaining outwardly stoic nonetheless, he loosened his belt and struck a match to light his pre-coital cigarette with. Six damn months! Well NOW he was going to get some release! Grabbing the side of the broken cage, he hauled himself up and peeked through a gap in the roof to see how things were progressing.

The velociraptor had parted her jaws and looked about to strike, but suddenly she seemed to stop as if unsure of herself. Joffrey was confused – why hadn’t this hot cretaceous babe mauled him like the filthy descendant of a wretched shrew-like thing that he was? Why was he not being lovingly absorbed by the digestive system of this perfect, carrion-scented aphrodite?
Almost as if he dared not speculate, he glanced up at her, still expecting the final strike that would end his sexually confused mammalian existance – and saw at once that it would not come. Her eyes were still marked by a ferocious hunger, but it was not for shredded meat she seemed to slaver – she clearly wanted the meat intact! Joffrey couldn’t believe his luck! Slowly, she backed away from him, then coyly turned around so her bird-like hips were on full display mere inches from his face. From this angle, he could see her smooth, hairless slit. As he began to drool, she started to shake her hips from side to side seductively, delicately spraying him with gallons upon gallons of dinosaur sex pheromones she had in some gland that all velociraptors had but that didn’t get fossilised with the rest of them because it was too soft somehow. Cautiously at first, lest he somehow alarm her or turn her off, Joffrey began to lightly rub the area around her velocigina with his chin, nuzzling the rough, pebble-like folds of skin surrounding it with his tongue. The creature howled with a terrifying, primordial delight and thrust herself back against Joffrey’s mouth, knocking out his front teeth and ramming his lower jaw deep inside her. “GRKHLONNGGGGHKGFLFGLGLUMMMPH!!!!” Joffrey whispered seductively as he continued to work his magic on her with his mouth parts, delicately teasing her harsh, sandpaper-like clitoris as he did so.

From his vantage point on top of the cage, Muldoon could see that things were progressing far better than he ever could have hoped for! “YOU THERE!” he shouted at the engineer again, who had returned with the equipment
he had been asked to retrieve. “Get up here and set that video camera up! The rest of you, find some bloody tasers!”

The velociraptor continued to bellow and howl and echo her savage predatorial joy across the construction site as Joffrey brought her halfway to climax. With one exaggerated movement, she threw her hips violently to one side, dislodging Joffrey’s lower jaw from her deep hot minge and hammering him against the side of the cage. Winded, he collapsed to the floor, his face a brutal looking mess of blood, bone, flesh, dinosaur sex pheromones and primeval vaginal juices. The velociraptor was a merciless predator, but she was not a selfish lover! It was time to reciprocate. As Joffrey lay battered on the cage floor barely able to move, she approached him and lightly rested her perfectly-shaped foot on his crotch. Even through his dislocated muscle, she could feel the bulge! She grinned, as all velociraptors are pretty much forced to do because of their bone structure, and with one deft flick of her curved toe claw she tore through the lining of his pants and exposed his engorged, throbbing, member. Joffrey mumbled with ecstasy through his maimed features as the creature appraised him. She was mildly disappointed at the lack of insemination barbs on his manhood, but she had come too far now – invested too much time – to stop the process this close to completion. Wrapping her tail around his waist, she pulled him to his feet and slammed herself back against his erect cock, moaning wickedly as it pushed apart the sides of her opening and entered her. Little bubbles of pleasure formed in the red-black foam on Joffrey’s mouth as she forced herself further back, taking him deep inside her.

On top of the cage, the camera was nearly ready. Muldoon could take no more! Whipping off his safari shorts and pulling out his very own ‘big game’, he wrapped his hands around it and began to rythmically jerk off as the confused and terrified engineer pointed the camera where he was told to!

“Ohhhhhh that’s right, get it all on tape, allllllll on tape”, he groaned as he energetically pumped his purple shotgun.

The velociraptor was grinding and bucking back against Joffrey with terrifying savagery now, and she could feel the warmth beginning to build up in her nether regions as his rod-hard dick slammed in and out of her orifice. Fervently, she rocked against the side of the cage, ignoring Joffrey’s impassioned gurgling noises as she brought herself closer and closer to a meteoric climax.

“Keep shootinggggg”, Muldoon moaned as he prepared to do some shooting of his own. “SHOOT HER! SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT HEEEEERRR!!!!”

Finally the raptor could take it no more! Squealing as if she intended to drown out all other sounds that had ever been made by anything in the history of ever she came hard and fast, her vaginal walls constricting around Joffrey like a vice as wave after wave of putrid velociraptor love tabasco squirted everywhere, dousing the floor and walls of the cage in a layer of horribleness half an inch thick. Joffrey screamed in agony as his frail warm-blooded member was crushed by this merciless barrage, and tried desperately to pull out of her, but it was too late. In a final act of climax she spun around again, taking him with her and cracking his spine in two. Acting on pure instinct, she sank her powerful jaws into the sides of his skull and bit down hard, ripping his head clean in half and scattering flesh and blood everywhere. As her teeth entered his brain, they triggered his pleasure and pain senses, sending him at once into the most disturbingly intense agony a human being can possibly experience and bringing him to such heights of ecstasy as humankind can only dream of. Then he died.

Then, as she wolfed down what had once been the greater part of a young man’s head, her body was racked by more uncontrollable spasms! She writhed and flopped over the cage, all movement out of her control as the by now rallied workers fired taser shot after taser shot through the cage door, each one making contact with her and sending powerful electric shocks through her body. A sound not dissimilar to that of a former Kenyan gamekeeper ejaculating emanated from the cage roof above, and as she spasmed on the floor she could feel a sticky, warm liquid trickle onto her from above.

“OhhhhhhYEStheyshouldallbedestroyed!!” Muldoon groaned to himself as he shot his load through the hole in the cage roof and sank happily to his knees.

As the workers continued to shock the velociraptor into submission a low rumbling noise was heard. “Oh, jolly good!” Muldoon thought to himself. “Sounds like the others are on their way”! Excitedly, he pulled his shorts back up and rallied the remaining workforce. “Come on you lot”, he declared, “one down… seven more to go”.

From that day forward, working for InGen didn’t seem nearly so bad…
 

Crane

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You, too, can call forth the power of the raptor. You just need to look inside yourself. Remember the words of the great philosopher Dinosøren Kierkegaard:

A man who as a physical being is always turned towards the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him; not to mention his discovering that the source is his relation to the raptor.
 
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Scruffy

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i'm thinking about a joke about velocirapists, but nothing worthy comes to mind.
 
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I could be wrong, but isn't raptor just another term for 'bird', with 'velociraptor' and the other dinasours with 'raptor' in their names being named such because of their probable evolutionary connections to birds?

Doesn't seem to be what people go for with the 'raptor' thing.
 
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jcd

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Last edited:

Echo Mirage

Arcane
Joined
Aug 19, 2013
Messages
1,560
Location
Tirra Lirra by the River
You, too, can call forth the power of the raptor. You just need to look inside yourself. Remember the words of the great philosopher Dinosøren Kierkegaard:

A man who as a physical being is always turned towards the outside, thinking that his happiness lies outside him, finally turns inward and discovers that the source is within him; not to mention his discovering that the source is his relation to the raptor.


Wouldn't that make us philosoraptors ?
 

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