Off to find the savage village. There are only a few maps in the (fairly small) world map I've yet to explore; I try hunting around the North for a while with no success, so head down to the south-west from Needles.
There we go. Looks like a good village.
I have to tell them the password to get in, and after a couple of guesses, go with "Redhawk". It works. They ask us to drop our weapons before we enter, but thankfully this doesn't actually happen. I have a policy of stopping games and saying snarky things on the internet when they do that, particularly when I have to pick up/re-equip everything myself.
Oh, er, thanks for asking.
The Junk Master speaks and tells you how to find Base Cochise, home
of the Deadly Robots. He sniffs and takes a pull on a small bottle of Snake
Squeezins. "Out in the middle of nowhere, that's where it is. Way up in the
northwest. We've tried to scavenge things out there, but the robots are
deadly, so we backed off." He looks at you rather strangely. "If you want to
venture out into those mountains up there, fine, but don't expect any of our
people to go with you. We got more sense than you Rangers."
That was helpful. Knowing exactly as much as we did when we entered, and finding nothing else of any interest in the village, we move on, heading back to Vegas to pick up the antitoxin we left lying about.
Only one, but that'll do me - Ace and Covenant are still good NPCs, so I'll just dump Redhawk.
The passkey from the Guardian Citadel doesn't get us into Darwin base. Guess the correct key will be in the Sleeper Base, which seems a reasonable next target.
We revive Mad Dog Fargo, and he joins us. Pretty damn good stats, and he's not at too high a rank so he'll hopefully level up quickly.
To find the Sleeper Base, we follow the river to its source in the north-east, the only place we've yet to explore. We quickly find the entrance, and step inside its dusty halls...
We find a secpass in a pile of garbage, and another one in a cubicle a little to the south. There appear to be no random enemies, and the set ones are mostly weak guard dogs and things that pose no threat. What mysteries shall we discover further in?
"New location" is a bit of a misnomer, this just comes up whenever you enter a library-style area. Nobody has enough free skill points/IQ to learn clone tech, and I'm not sure what it does just yet, so I elect to leave it for now.
It's just like Vault 15! We climb down to level 2 for now.
A library area on the second floor offers the teaching of cyborg tech, which I've picked up will be very important shortly. Grunker aims to learn it, but to do so, he'll need one more skill point, which as ever necessitates a level up.
Zombie snowmen! Oh, the horror. I'm guessing this is related to clone tech somehow, but I honestly don't really know. Since we don't really need to clone anyone, I haven't checked it out myself.
We find another secpass in the chief officer's desk. chzr has to use perception to spot it, which gives me the vague impression that most of our party is comprised of eyeless, clumsy dwarf-men who need chzr as a spotter to tell them where enemies are.
Down the hall, and further on.
We discover a computer with a list of pre-war logs. To the paragraph book!
Col. John Smith's personnel file flashes up onto the screen. Aside
from a large amount of test scores and other data, an occasional paragraph
of interest slides by. One that catches your eye reads, in part, "After the
confrontation with Finster concerning the shift of Darwin's focus, Smith
requested and got a transfer to the Base 2 operation. He remained acting
commander until the project's completion in 1995."
Maj. Harrison Edsel's personnel file flashes up onto the screen.
Aside from a large amount of test scores and other data, an occasional
paragraph of interest slides by. One that catches your eye reads, in pan,
"The discipline problem with Edsel has resolved itself. Once he learned he
would be transferred to Base Cochise to program that computer with his new
artificial intelligence routines, he stopped complaining about the primitive
rules restricting his creativity on this project."
Maj. Peregrine Cite's personnel file flashes up onto the screen.
Aside from a large amount of test scores and other data, an occasional
paragraph of interest slides by. One that catches your eye reads, in part,
"Peregrine accurately assessed the security problems with the storage area.
While the base is not meant to be an armed camp, his precautions are well
noted and should provide a surprise for unauthorized personnel operating in
the base."
The screen flashes to life with Capt. Phil Thomas's personnel file.
Aside from test scores and other nonsense you read, "Capt. Thomas's
performance in the village strafing runs was admirable. The AH-6503 attack
helicopter performed at the height of technical specs and destroyed two
small Mexican villages before having to return to base and reload. The AH-6503 is the ultimate weapon."
Capt. Andrea Mills's personnel file flashes up onto the screen.
Aside from a large amount of test scores and other data, an occasional
paragraph of interest slides by. One that catches your eye reads, in part,
"Despite her having won the Nobel last year, Andrea's been unable to finish
work on the clone pods. She is unsure they are safe, and the chances of a
clone surviving production is not thought to be that great."
Dr. Franklin Beams's personnel file flashes up onto the screen. Aside
from a large amount of test scores and other data, an occasional paragraph of
interest slides by. One that catches your eye reads, in part "Dr. Beams's
assessment of Edsel's obsessive behavior concerning the computer and AI just
works as another nail in Edsel's coffin. The faster I can get him out of here,
the better. Let Cochise's boss deal with a fully-aware computer."
Lt. Russet Heller's personnel file flashes up onto the screen.
Aside from a large amount of test scores and other data, an occasional
paragraph of interest slides by. One that catches your eye reads, in part,
'"I thought Heller would be a discipline problem, but he's not. His jokes
relieve the tension as we work to finish this base. Others worry about the
news that Edsel's new computer is helping to finish Cochise all by itself,
but Heller shrugs it off. 'Who wants to work with someone who won't sit down
for a cold beer after the work's done anyway?' Perhaps mankind does stand a
chance against superior machines."
Phew. Anyway...
interesting. Not that I expect this self-aware AI to be the main villain or anything. I was actually expecting that to be this Finster fellow. Or the Master. Well, let's see how it goes.
Here, I can turn a power generator on and off. I have no idea what it does, but turn it on for now, on the basis that... well, it's probably there for a reason. Let's see if we can find what it does.
I haven't taught anyone the helicopter skill, and am not entirely sure where I saw it for sale. The Citadel, maybe? We'll come back when it's needed, the amount of single-use skills being thrown at me is making me a bit cautious with my skill points.
Well, this would be what that power generator was for. The doors don't work when the power is off, and the floor is electrified when it's on; we send chzr up to the generator to turn it on and off for us as necessary (you can switch between parties with V after splitting up your team).
There we go. We make our way through, eager to see what's at the other end...
Experience for Grunker. That'll do me.
IQ and Dexterity it is.
We defeat the rest of the robots in the room, and are rewarded with some utterly useless parts like power converters and servo motors. Thank you, Wasteland.
Now done with the Sleeper Base as far as I know, we head back upstairs, passing an armory on the way. The door is opened with a secpass, but there is a strong glass barrier between us and the loot. Thankfully, we have some TNT lying around, and use it up against the wall.
Three or four do the trick, and we are free to loot! Lots of power packs, some pseudo-chitin (what?) armour which those not blessed with power armour readily equip, and...
Another of the best weapon in the game. That'll do nicely.
One of our secpasses does indeed let us into Darwin Base. Let's see if we can find the mad Irwin Finster and put a halt to his wacky schemes.
Bypassing an elevator, we find our way out into a strange... er... garden? It's populated by fun foes like giant coyotes, which do little damage through power armour but offer great amounts of experience.
We traverse the difficult terrain, making copious use of the climb skill.
we welcome another Sergeant to our ranks. Now only Alex, as ever, is dragging the team down. Poor show, that bro.
An exit appears at the top of another slope. We climb it steadily, slipping and hurting ourselves far more than a band of hardened bros really should.
Oh. Well, that explains a few things. Let's... see if we can find the man himself, will we?
We take the elevator up to the second floor. There's not much to see other than the door to what seems to be an office area, so with some trepidation, we enter...
Nope
Some slight cheating here; I looked up in the paragraph book Finster's dialogue if you speak to him before freeing the prisoners and pissing him off. It explains the story a bit, at least as regards his motivations and goals, so here you go:
The Director, a handsome, slender man, waves you to chairs that
face his desk. Beyond his desk you see a window into an alien landscape.
Through the window you see a red world with strangely-shaped plants. You see
animals slinking through the shadows and crawling across massive rock
outcroppings. You shudder. It just doesn't feel right.
The Director, Irwin John Finster, notices your stare and smiles like a
snake oil salesman. "I see you've noticed my pet project. This is how the
world will be when all men are gone. It will once again return to the
pristine paradise it was before man rose up and destroyed it."
He turns away from the window and smiles at you. "By the very fact that
you are here, I know you have recovered certain items of a technical nature.
Whatever prompted you to violate this base's security, I do not know, but 1
am willing to forgive it." He sits, leans back and steeples his fingers.
"Because of the delicate nature of our work here -- all very hush-hush, you
know -- 1 must ask you to leave."
Suddenly he leans forward and scowls. "If you do not want to go, well,
we are not without means to deal with even the likes of dreaded Desert
Rangers."
I dunno, I think the world looks pretty good, all things considered. Lots of greenery. Plenty of life, or at least plenty of life before the Desert Rangers come through town, which tends to drastically alter the amount of life in the area. Ah well. Now, on with the LP:
I'd like to know just what kind of handsome, slender men Brian Fargo has been hanging out with. Finster puts up little resistance to our meson cannons.
That'll do nicely. There's a port in a cupboard on the ground floor that we can plug the head into, so let's make our way there...
Grunker bravely heads in alone. Godspeed, bro.
Jesus Christ what
These... pattern... things... seem to tell the story of Darwin and Finster's organisation. For
some reason.
Ah, good, number pattern puzzles. My very favourite.
Get it get it get it
Another number puzzle, and we move on to the next... area. Room? Rectangle? Pattern?
I have to say...
He's not really very scary, no.
Thankfully, the fabled Night Terror can do little to harm Grunker in his power armour, which came into the dreamscape with him. So we whack away at it with the proton ax...
And whack...
And about this point I set up a macro to do the whacking for me while I tapped F2 to keep it going and had a wank.
Now that was well worth it. Let's see just how many promotions Grunker got here...
Maybe it's a deep metaphor about conquering your childhood fears, and facing down what lurks in the primitive parts of your brian in order to grow and develop as a human being. Or maybe it was just a bonus boss with good payout.
There was a maze like this in one of the Pokemon games, I think. This one is even more annoying. When you step on an arrow, it should theoretically send you in whatever direction it's pointing, but it all seems a bit random, to be honest. Grunker mucks about for a while.
Somehow, we make it down to the bottom left, and manage to walk across from there to the exit... folders?
Clever!
Grunker cleaves through the Webs of Deceit with the Big Dirty Ax of Truth.
This one had me a bit more stumped. The answer, of course, is... "nothing". Groan.
...what the fuck just happened?
The... ghost coach... person... lets me out... or something... when I repeatedly use the IQ attribute on nothing in particular. I guess it's like a battle of minds or something? Still have no idea what the baseball was about. This is a strange area. I'm loving the shit out of it.
None of the Finsters put up much of a resistance to Grunker's meson cannon. Reckon we're getting close to the end...
Well, this one's out of place. The answer, of course, is iceberg.
Grunker is a selfless hero, and goes West. The paths close up behind him, and with a "damned if you do, damned if you don't", Finster sends him to another area.
This is another case of spamming IQ.
Pressing shaking brofists against Grunker's cold knuckles, chzr, Alex and Ulminati call him back towards the light.
And there we have the perfect example of how rudimentary text descriptions and simple dialogue can be a world better than any of the cinematic nonsense that passes for engagement and immersion today. Grunker, back from the dead and having conquered his deepest fears, strides forward. Like Jesus with a huge laser cannon.
Finster promptly does what all out-of-ideas psychic villains do and begins chucking fireballs. Grunker is singed once or twice, but never enough to make a difference.
Nope
The Leviathan may look impressive, but is still no match for a burst of meson cannon fire. The old android Finster finally dies.
Looks like it's finally time to head to Base Cochise and wrap this one up, boys and girls.
Grunker strides forwards and takes a final bold leap into the huge pit. Naturally, this proves a perfectly sensible exit strategy, and he wakes up with an entirely real secpass in hand.
...the same secpass we got from the Guardian Citadel, that is. Ah well, even if we gained absolutely nothing from it, this was a fun little venture.
TUNE IN NEXT TIME FOR: Wrapping up unfinished business, toaster acquisition... and Base Cochise!
