I'm willing to wait up to ten days without nagging, so You can take Your time, as far as I'm concerned.
After that, it's torches and pitchforks, though.
After that, it's torches and pitchforks, though.
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Let's Play IWD 2, #24 Motherfucking snakes in this... Tree?
- Thread starter desocupado
- Start date
Yeah, take your time. You shouldn't force LPing on yourself -- just update when you feel like it. We'll be here.
ironyuri
Guest
Your lack of enthusiasm for LPing is disturbing. ghostdog and Mico made it to 20+ pages first.
taplonaplo
Scholar
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2008
- Messages
- 628
Oh how i loathed the ice level. I tried shitloads of stuff before finally looking up in the dictionary what "embrace" means to finish the level. Never got around finishing the game tho, i got stuck in Dragon's Eye (i had no idea what the fuck to do and got fed up with it). Not knowing english was teh suck.
desocupado
Magister
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,802
It's a big one, I hope you enjoy.
Alright, let's start this. Now, where were we?
Exploring the rest of the ice temple.
What are those weird gargoyles?
Those are Abishai. Some class of demons. In the forgotten realms, there are Baatezu, lawful demons, and Tana'ri, chaotic demons. Those fuckers live at war between themselves. And that's pretty much all I know about that, really.
Deal struck, we move on to find this presence and end our business in this ice temple.
Opposition
She didn't last one screenshot.
At this point, I'm breezing through those Aurilites. They are easy, and alone they are effortless
Case in point.
A barbarian. Big difference.
This part of the LP is hard to make interesting, it lacks big battles.
We find somenecromancers negromancers.
- Watch out these negromancers. I heard that if they kill you, they turn you corpse into fried chicken.
- That's just a myth Mort. At worst, they will turn your blood into grape soda and then drink it.
Anyway, the negromancers don't have time to do any of that, they die of sword poisoning.
Just some Aurilites left.
Not for long.
- These Aurilites don't offer any resistance. We gotta be in shape, we have stronger foes ahead of us.
- Yeah, that Legion of Chimera thing seems nasty.
- Not them, I'm talking about the barrel warriors.
- What?
- Yes, the barrel warriors.
- Mortimer, what are you talking about?
- Why do you think we keep finding weapons and potions inside barrels?
- Those are the supplies of the barrel warriors. Soon enough, they will rise and try to take over Faerun.
- And we are going to be prime targets, since we keep destroying their agents and taking their equipment.
- Mortimer, stop this nonsense, barrels are innanimate objects. Concentrate on the task at hand!
- Fine. Just don't come crying to me when we have to appease our barrel overlords.
This contraption is part of a puzzle. You use a lever, lightning shoots from that, hits some mirrors and open some doors. I tried to SS some of this, but decided to scrap that.
After we move a bit, we find this in a empty room:
tl;dr version she talks about the priestess who inspired herself and her sisters, and how she was killed in the service of Auril. Also talks about the inner workings of the temple. Useful if you are playing, helps with some puzzles, even if they are not terribly difficult.
After walking around a while and killing a couple of Aurilites, we find this room.
Those things aren't dangerous, but at least there's a group of them. I mentioned before that I use Magic Missile for reliable, quick damage, but in this case it's because Wizerella won't be able to cast spells pretty soon, so I'm using them up.
A negromancer approaches Mortimer from behind.
Negromancer - Yo dog, gimme you money!
But of course Mortimer isn't going to part with his jew gold.
The shadows are now... hmm... Were they dead before? Or they were only some kind of shadow creature? Well, they're gone. Killing the negromancer now is a non-issue.
Some more shadows.
Quickly dispatched.
We move.
A group of Aurilites.
I am using some spells before I'm not able to.
They manage to cast that spell on us. I don't remember the name of it, and I'm pretty sure I can't cast it. It's a cleric spell, but I don't remember using it when I had a cleric... Anyway, it does some damage.
But not enough. That ice is just some trap I springed. The Aurilite is pretty dead already.
This golem watches over the game room. I didn't play it, but the room has other uses.
Moving on:
A polar bear. Not a challenge either. This part is very boring for a LP.
But wait, it's not alone!
She doesn't manage to paralyse (Oh yeah! Learned how to write that!) anyone in the party. Bad for her.
Those ladies have a case of severe iron alergy. They die from being exposed to it pretty quickly.
It's a sad medical condition, really.
42 damage. Ouch. The spell effects usually hang for a bit even after the caster is dead, if he/she dies during the casting.
What is that!? Am I going to start showing the maps now? No, not really, but this part of the LP is so disjointed from the non-linear temple and small stretches being ommited due to those sick, sick Aurilites, that I decided to show what parts are yet to be explored.
We have already killed two of the three priestesses (shit, first paralyse, now priestess plural), and we have to deal with the presence bothering those demons. Other than those things, those rooms have nothing important.
Oh, google said my first try was right. It's priestesses.
Well, during our exploration, we find this room.
There's a lot of guys trapped in a mirror.
When we free them, they become hostile, and as you can see, there's a fuckload of them. At this point, Wizerella can't cast spells.
At first, I tought that just hacking away at them would be enough. It was not.
Then I devised this. See this positioning? Barbaric! is going to pull the switch, Lizzie is casting a strong AoE spell (lucky me the party leveled up recently), while Sir Dwarfington stands in the middle of the room to draw the aggression from the enemies, and make sure they get hit by Lizzie's spell.
So, Barbaric! pulls the switch, and goes join the fray, it's important that he goes to the fight, because if he stays far from it, some enemies might try to go after him, and leave the AoE of the spell.
Meanwhile, Dwarfington is using expertise at 5 (Takes x from your attack bonus, and put x on your AC. In this case x=5, I think that's the maximum at this level.) to survive the punishment he is getting.
The spell goes out. You can see it does good damage by the text...
... And by the pieces/limbs flying.
Oh, yeah.
This took a while to pull off. The spell Lizzie casted has a LONG casting time so Dwarfington kept dying because of the sheer number of enemies and the enemies wandered off out of the AoE. After some tries, I started casting the spell BEFORE I pulled the lever, and that worked beutifully.
Even the mop up was a lot harder than the usual Aurilite fight.
Those guys took a long while to die.
All in all, this room was awesome.
The key locked door mentioned was opened later, but it was just a storage with Nathaniel's (a NPC quest giver) stuff.
After moving, we meet this fucker.
He casts some buffs on us, but at this point I didn't know/remember how to access the room with the presence, so it went to waste.
We move around a bit and find...
- What was that the Journal said about this painting? There's something strange about that...
- I don't know. I was too bored with all the "Auril this and Lysan that" to pay attention.
- Yeah, If I hear "Auril, shower me with strenght!" one more time I will go nuts.
- Hey, how did we got here?
- It must have been some sort of teleporting trap.
- No! It was the painting. It had shifty eyes... Like a barrel!
- Again this barrel thing?!
- Mortimer, there was a tree painted on it! Trees don't have eyes!
- The barrels are made of trees, and they have shifty eyes!
- BARRELS DON'T HAVE SHIFTY EYES!
- Fine! Whatever. Tell me that when some barrel slave overseer whips our backs.
- Guys, let's just go.
- Yes, please, I'm freezing in this place.
Anyway, we open this door with the thing that shoots lightining and the mirrors.
The we find our objective.
After that, all it does is lock us in this room.
While it spins and damages whoever is inside the tornado.
It takes a long time...
Meanwhile, Dwarfington who got locked outside the room, has to fight some Aurilites
Good thing the tornado finally ends, and the door unlocks, because there was a barbarian out there too, and it might have been too much for him to handle alone.
We leave the room, and go deal with the fodder.
Bear with me here.
Mortimer and Barbaric! dealt with the barbarian.
We finally get some help to Dwarfington, and the rest is history.
- Liz, you don't have any issues when you have your period?
- I don't feel any discomfort or bleed anymore. Most of the time, I don't even notice when I'm on it.
- What? How?
- After you can draw some power from nature, we learn a ritual that was developed to aleviate those things. Unfortunately it can only be done on oneself, else I would offer to do it to you.
- - Stays silent for a moment -
- Are you alright?
- FUCK! I spent 10 years in the mage academy, and there's NOTHING like that in the arcane arts!
- It's because those FUCKERS are all MEN! You want a spell for erectile disfunction or baldness, WE HAVE IT! But something that... Argh! Motherfuckers!
- What is going on?
- IF I COULD CAST RIGHT NOW, I WOULD INCINERATE YOU ALL!
- - Quietly to Lizzie - Gods, have I done something?
We leave this area and go report our mission.
And...
Too much copy and paste, my poor hands.
We go finnish this off.
A silence trap. I can't cast anything right now, anyway. :shrugs:
A wolf.
And the final priestess.
She enfeebles Mortimer.
1 of strenght. That would pretty bad, if there were, you know, enemies, other than a single woman and a couple of wolves.
Do you think she lasted long? As she is dying:
Let's see, goatfuckery, djinns, trolls and now a priestess suicide bomber. If someone appears taking steroids, let's look at the credits, because if so, then Andhaira participated in the development of this game.
We can't damage her.
- By the gods, that woman should conjure an ice dildo or something.
Anyway, remember the game room? That's where we are going.
Turn people ethereal was one of the uses of it. Which gentlemen, makes perfect sense. Yes it does. Don't argue with me. I'm the one doing this LP. No, fuck you.
Ahem.
She is as easy to kill in death (etherealness?) as she is in life.
I'm killing an spirit. Perfect...
...Sense. She dies while trying to cast that, I think. I don't actually remember, but the important thing is she died. It's not as if the battle was super interesting or anything like that.
We report. Ouch, my poor hands.
After that, we are "teleported" out by the game, and meet those guys.
Fuck this amount of dialogue. If I do more copy and pasting my arms will fall off.
After that, we can leave the area by going north. And the chapter ends.
Alright, let's start this. Now, where were we?
Exploring the rest of the ice temple.
What are those weird gargoyles?
Those are Abishai. Some class of demons. In the forgotten realms, there are Baatezu, lawful demons, and Tana'ri, chaotic demons. Those fuckers live at war between themselves. And that's pretty much all I know about that, really.
Deal struck, we move on to find this presence and end our business in this ice temple.
Opposition
She didn't last one screenshot.
At this point, I'm breezing through those Aurilites. They are easy, and alone they are effortless
Case in point.
A barbarian. Big difference.
This part of the LP is hard to make interesting, it lacks big battles.
We find some
Anyway, the negromancers don't have time to do any of that, they die of sword poisoning.
Just some Aurilites left.
Not for long.
This contraption is part of a puzzle. You use a lever, lightning shoots from that, hits some mirrors and open some doors. I tried to SS some of this, but decided to scrap that.
After we move a bit, we find this in a empty room:
tl;dr version she talks about the priestess who inspired herself and her sisters, and how she was killed in the service of Auril. Also talks about the inner workings of the temple. Useful if you are playing, helps with some puzzles, even if they are not terribly difficult.
After walking around a while and killing a couple of Aurilites, we find this room.
Those things aren't dangerous, but at least there's a group of them. I mentioned before that I use Magic Missile for reliable, quick damage, but in this case it's because Wizerella won't be able to cast spells pretty soon, so I'm using them up.
A negromancer approaches Mortimer from behind.
Negromancer - Yo dog, gimme you money!
But of course Mortimer isn't going to part with his jew gold.
The shadows are now... hmm... Were they dead before? Or they were only some kind of shadow creature? Well, they're gone. Killing the negromancer now is a non-issue.
Some more shadows.
Quickly dispatched.
We move.
A group of Aurilites.
I am using some spells before I'm not able to.
They manage to cast that spell on us. I don't remember the name of it, and I'm pretty sure I can't cast it. It's a cleric spell, but I don't remember using it when I had a cleric... Anyway, it does some damage.
But not enough. That ice is just some trap I springed. The Aurilite is pretty dead already.
This golem watches over the game room. I didn't play it, but the room has other uses.
Moving on:
A polar bear. Not a challenge either. This part is very boring for a LP.
But wait, it's not alone!
She doesn't manage to paralyse (Oh yeah! Learned how to write that!) anyone in the party. Bad for her.
Those ladies have a case of severe iron alergy. They die from being exposed to it pretty quickly.
It's a sad medical condition, really.
42 damage. Ouch. The spell effects usually hang for a bit even after the caster is dead, if he/she dies during the casting.
What is that!? Am I going to start showing the maps now? No, not really, but this part of the LP is so disjointed from the non-linear temple and small stretches being ommited due to those sick, sick Aurilites, that I decided to show what parts are yet to be explored.
We have already killed two of the three priestesses (shit, first paralyse, now priestess plural), and we have to deal with the presence bothering those demons. Other than those things, those rooms have nothing important.
Oh, google said my first try was right. It's priestesses.
Well, during our exploration, we find this room.
There's a lot of guys trapped in a mirror.
When we free them, they become hostile, and as you can see, there's a fuckload of them. At this point, Wizerella can't cast spells.
At first, I tought that just hacking away at them would be enough. It was not.
Then I devised this. See this positioning? Barbaric! is going to pull the switch, Lizzie is casting a strong AoE spell (lucky me the party leveled up recently), while Sir Dwarfington stands in the middle of the room to draw the aggression from the enemies, and make sure they get hit by Lizzie's spell.
So, Barbaric! pulls the switch, and goes join the fray, it's important that he goes to the fight, because if he stays far from it, some enemies might try to go after him, and leave the AoE of the spell.
Meanwhile, Dwarfington is using expertise at 5 (Takes x from your attack bonus, and put x on your AC. In this case x=5, I think that's the maximum at this level.) to survive the punishment he is getting.
The spell goes out. You can see it does good damage by the text...
... And by the pieces/limbs flying.
Oh, yeah.
This took a while to pull off. The spell Lizzie casted has a LONG casting time so Dwarfington kept dying because of the sheer number of enemies and the enemies wandered off out of the AoE. After some tries, I started casting the spell BEFORE I pulled the lever, and that worked beutifully.
Even the mop up was a lot harder than the usual Aurilite fight.
Those guys took a long while to die.
All in all, this room was awesome.
The key locked door mentioned was opened later, but it was just a storage with Nathaniel's (a NPC quest giver) stuff.
After moving, we meet this fucker.
He casts some buffs on us, but at this point I didn't know/remember how to access the room with the presence, so it went to waste.
We move around a bit and find...
Anyway, we open this door with the thing that shoots lightining and the mirrors.
The we find our objective.
After that, all it does is lock us in this room.
While it spins and damages whoever is inside the tornado.
It takes a long time...
Meanwhile, Dwarfington who got locked outside the room, has to fight some Aurilites
Good thing the tornado finally ends, and the door unlocks, because there was a barbarian out there too, and it might have been too much for him to handle alone.
We leave the room, and go deal with the fodder.
Bear with me here.
Mortimer and Barbaric! dealt with the barbarian.
We finally get some help to Dwarfington, and the rest is history.
We leave this area and go report our mission.
And...
Too much copy and paste, my poor hands.
We go finnish this off.
A silence trap. I can't cast anything right now, anyway. :shrugs:
A wolf.
And the final priestess.
She enfeebles Mortimer.
1 of strenght. That would pretty bad, if there were, you know, enemies, other than a single woman and a couple of wolves.
Do you think she lasted long? As she is dying:
Let's see, goatfuckery, djinns, trolls and now a priestess suicide bomber. If someone appears taking steroids, let's look at the credits, because if so, then Andhaira participated in the development of this game.
We can't damage her.
Anyway, remember the game room? That's where we are going.
Turn people ethereal was one of the uses of it. Which gentlemen, makes perfect sense. Yes it does. Don't argue with me. I'm the one doing this LP. No, fuck you.
Ahem.
She is as easy to kill in death (etherealness?) as she is in life.
I'm killing an spirit. Perfect...
...Sense. She dies while trying to cast that, I think. I don't actually remember, but the important thing is she died. It's not as if the battle was super interesting or anything like that.
We report. Ouch, my poor hands.
After that, we are "teleported" out by the game, and meet those guys.
Fuck this amount of dialogue. If I do more copy and pasting my arms will fall off.
After that, we can leave the area by going north. And the chapter ends.
taplonaplo
Scholar
- Joined
- Aug 8, 2008
- Messages
- 628
:D
dolio
Scholar
- Joined
- Dec 18, 2007
- Messages
- 294
Awww. You're not going to become the master of battle squares?
Kill individual monsters in strings of 3, 4, 5 and 6 for each of 9 levels? That's only 162 battles.
Of course, I imagine you'd have trouble doing it. I had trouble with the enemies above level 4 or so, and your guys are less min-maxed than mine. I thought maybe I could put it off until I came back to the temple, but the game is disabled then.
Kill individual monsters in strings of 3, 4, 5 and 6 for each of 9 levels? That's only 162 battles.
Of course, I imagine you'd have trouble doing it. I had trouble with the enemies above level 4 or so, and your guys are less min-maxed than mine. I thought maybe I could put it off until I came back to the temple, but the game is disabled then.
Some things in this update are ... disturbing.
Looks like a pretty interesting location to play through, even if not that interesting to LP. Not that the update wasn't good.
With every update I'm realizing how little of this game I remember. All of this seems new to me, even though I finished it a few years ago.
Negromancer said:
With every update I'm realizing how little of this game I remember. All of this seems new to me, even though I finished it a few years ago.
desocupado
Magister
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,802
Guys, I'm not being an attention whore, I'm just being lazy.
I've already started the update, but root called me for a bloodbowl match and threw a wrench in the works.
The next update should be tomorrow at the latest.
I've already started the update, but root called me for a bloodbowl match and threw a wrench in the works.
The next update should be tomorrow at the latest.
eklektyk
Erudite
desocupado said:
give us update nao !!!
btw. smash some of roots sqishies or sumthin for his intervention I say
desocupado said:
desocupado
Magister
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,802
Well, here we start.
We start in a fight. This one was preceeded by a bit of dialogue, but it was Liberal/Andhaira level of inanity, and I decided to omit it.
What you mean, lazy bastard?
Do you know how many one liners that thing was? The screenshot numeration went from 4 to 20! I would have 15 pages to cut a piece and paste! And there was around 500 screenshots in the folder after I was done playing.
Yes, I don't use all of them, but it gives you an idea of the work. There was a crapload of dialogue in this one!
I know 20-4 = 16! I'm a goddamn engineering student. The first screenshot doesn't need to be cut, just pasted upon.
Yes, education in the third world is bad, but not that bad! You can be sure that every engineer here knows how to subtract.
I mean, I think so. There are some dumb fuckers at the uni, but all of them gotta know how to add.
What? It was subtract? Yes, I know. It's that every subtraction is an addition with a negative number.
And every division is a multiplication by the inverse of the number you are dividing by.
You didn't know that? Well, you are welcome.
What, you were being ironic? Why you little fucker! Come back here so I can beat you!
Ahem. After that very well descripted encounter we find ourselves here. We move east a bit to find...
An village elder? How original.
But before party reaches the village elder:
Nym - It's something that requires some discretion. I expect you to keep it under the blankets.
Nym - I saw you distinct lady, and I wondered if you required some assistence in matters... Maternal.
Nym - I want to sell to you this item, it's a mint-condition, hardly used mother.
Nym - She has a lot of space in her heart, she is about fifty years old, so she surely has a few good years ahead of her
Nym - So what do you say?
Nym - She even bakes cookies.
Nym - Oh. Are you sure? Did I mention her series included acceptance of all sexual identities?
Mortimer goes talk to Nym. After a while.
After that, we finally find the village elder.
Village Elder - Nym? Nice fellow. Sold me an aunt recently. Only 60 payments.
Village Elder - You are going to Targos? Well, unless you go the way you came, there's no way there from here without an absurd amount of travel.
Village Elder - Ship?
Village Elder - Well, if the way you came is blocked, then the only way is through the Fell Woods.
Village Elder - Anyway, the place is a maze, you will never pass through it without my guidance.
Village Elder - I could, but this are bad times...
Village Elder - ...The village is in disarray...
Village Elder - ...I could help you if you help us with some... errands.
Village Elder - Go see the Healer. She mentioned a problem earlier.
Venla the Healer - I have no clues. They were just doing those things children these days do.
Venla the Healer - You know, doing drugs, having unprotected sex and disrespecting their elders...
Venla the Healer - Then they vanished! They used to hang out east of here, if it helps.
We leave the village.
And go to the east. It's a place between the village and the Fell Woods.
Some enemies. Andhaira and Liberal having a discussion.
They call Cloaked Figure and Prosper to their help. (I actually went to GD to remember more troll names)
I'm very good at aiming Fireballs. To the point that sometimes I can get the monsters in melee with my fighters and not the fighters themselves.
But I suck at aiming Flamestrikes. I think I hit my guys on this one, I'm not sure.
I told my fighters to hit the Shaman. That fucker killed one of my guys, this is actually a reload.
He is down. You guys must already have noticed, but Wizerella still can't cast.
I send Mortimer to give some support.
The only way to finish them off is either with a Flamestrike or hitting them with Barbaric!, who has a flaming weapon.
The Codex does things to your head. "Flaming weapon" sounds like a reference to a gay guy's dong. Anyway, the trolls are dead.
After patching up, we move and find this hut.
And those guys.
This is a pretty straight forward fight.
They are all melee fighters, and with no casters.
That blue thing you saw over them in one of the SSs above was them using rage, I imagine.
I try to get some sneak attacks, but without much sucess.
Soon they start to fall. I had to use a few potions, if I'm not mistaken.
Oh yeah. That was when I used the potions.
Pulled Barbaric! back a bit.
And finished them off.
In the temple, I was SWIMMING in potions. I don't know when I used them all, but while playing this part I run out of them. I was a bit surprised when I searched and found none.
Upon entering this house, the party meets a beautiful pale redheaded woman.
After resting, we leave the tent and go east a bit, entering the Fell Wood.
So it's one of those mazelike places eh?
The secret for navigating it is very simple really. Going to the west repeatedly will get you to this place. And to advance, all you need is...
...And after that you can get around safely, without becoming lost.
Some wolves here.
We kill them without breaking a sweat, and move.
Some Restless dead. They die even more quickly then the wolves. They are ridiculously easy.
Some more Useless dead.
They aren't worth the SSs.
After we deal with them, this lady appears.
Carynara the Dryad - Children? Well, a woman that lives a hut to the west sometimes take children inside her home.
We get back. Let's confront the woman.
I'm no fool, so I position my casters away from the Ogre.
She teleports out of the hut, and her Ogre gets agressive towards us.
It's quite easily dispatched. We patch up and leave the tent.
There she is.
She summons a fuckload of trolls casts Grease and teleport.
Those things aren't the hardest hitting things we encountered, but they aren't pushover either. And there's many of them.
Clusterfuck. Doesn't seem that bad, the casters are safe...
I left Dwarfington there alone...
...To hit one of those.
I expected more stuff to die.
Whatever was left, was weakened. Dwarfington kills some.
And the group finishes the rest.
We still have to kill the witch.
A Salamander?
Holy crap, she summoned an army! They are even fighting between themselves.
I remember I had some those oils left. This one is like a fireball in range, 5d6 in damage.
I used two. Mortimer and Dwarfington had one each.
Shit, things are looking ugly.
This is that wave magic. Does a lot of bludgeoning damage, but takes a LONG time to cast. TOO DAMN LONG.
It ends up missing almost all the monsters. 47 damage to one guy, and a chance to stun. If not for the half hour we have to wait for it to come out, it would be a great spell.
Confusion affects 3 of our party. Only Dwarfington and Barbaric! are controllable now.
Thankfully, confusion doesn't make my guys turn on each other. They attack a random target, which might be another party member, but for now they are attacking the monsters. Of course it's still VERY bad, because I can't move them out of harm's way, nor focus fire, nor cast spells.
That swirl on Dwarfington on the other hand, means he is dominated. We are quite fucked.
I pull everybody back. Right now, I can only control Barbaric!
He killed a couple of monsters pretty quick I think.
He takes a Melf's Acid Arrow, and is charmed.
And just after that, Mortimer bites the bullet. Another Melf's Acid Arrow, it seems.
I haven't been showing losing battles for various reasons, but I wanted to show this one. It was pretty intense, and different than usual. And I think it does some good if you guys aren't too sure that every battle is a victory, it may perhaps help the narration.
Reloading
Grease and summons again. But this time I go right after the cunt.
She teleports to summon another army.
But no you don't.
Take that, bitch! You won't charm any party with you boob power no more.
There's the matter of the trolls tough. Like I said, not the toughest, but not weaklings.
I have no clue on what's happening.
Well, most of them fell. It seems we are close to a victory.
Those ones are refusing to die.
Mortimer takes a lot of damage. I pull him back.
Barbaric! and Dwarfington kill their troll, but now we gotta save Mortimer.
Cue Wacky Sax!
I actually hate this.
It finally change targets, and Barbaric! can attack it. And it dies. Fucker.
We move on. Let's report the case of the missing children.
Next errand coming up.
But on the next update.
Reject_666_6
Arcane
Just dropping in to say that this update's title made me .
.
desocupado
Magister
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
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The picture of the witch was chosen to represent that all the male characters would be looking at her chest.
It was meant as a "see throught their eyes" thing.
I hope that came across, because reading it, it seemed like talking boobs.
I still have more SSs to cover, so the next update should be soon. Tuesday, most likely.
It was meant as a "see throught their eyes" thing.
I hope that came across, because reading it, it seemed like talking boobs.
I still have more SSs to cover, so the next update should be soon. Tuesday, most likely.
desocupado
Magister
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,802
Reject_666_6 said:Just dropping in to say that this update's title made me
Thanks.
And thank everyone else who has been giving support. It's nice to know it's not only my mom and my imaginary friends.
This LP is pure 
.
.
Great update. Party banter and added NPC dialogue was really funny. I like. 
BTW: it's Yakety Sax not Wacky Sax . Just for the record.
BTW: it's Yakety Sax not Wacky Sax . Just for the record.
desocupado
Magister
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,802
MicoSelva said:Great update. Party banter and added NPC dialogue was really funny. I like.
BTW: it's Yakety Sax not Wacky Sax . Just for the record.
Faulty memory. Duly noted now.
desocupado
Magister
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,802
Update on time, like promised.
We start at the second time we play errand boy.
Tahvo the Huntmaster - Yes, there this spirit, that lives nearby and always stops our hunting parties for hours when they leave the village.
- Stops how?
Tahvo the Huntmaster - He interlopes them and starts talking how a great hunter he was in his day, and how "kids this day don't know the pointy end of a spear from their dicks".
Tahvo the Huntmaster - He complains a lot about how "kids this day don't have any respect anymore", whatever this means.
- What? That's the problem? Have you tried simply saying you don't have time for that and walking away?
Tahvo the Huntmaster - Yes, and the guy who did that ended up with a sword in the spleen.
- Ugh, painful way to die.
Tahvo the Huntmaster - He didn't die. The local healer is also a druid, so she enchanted a pig's spleen, and put it in him. He's fine now, tough he oinks some times.
- Alright, we have better things to do, where is this spirit.
Tahvo the Huntmaster - To the west.
- Hmm... How do we approach this?
- There must be something holding him in this realm, that's spirits 101, we just gotta find out what is and solve the isse.
- Good day sir. How are you?
Sordisin the Tusked - How am I? How could I be? Awful that is! All this punks running around, pretending to be great hunters.
Sordisin the Tusked - In my day, if you wanted to be a hunter, you would have to go naked into a dire wolves den.
Sordisin the Tusked - If you come out alive, and with the wolves pelts in your back, you were qualified.
Sordisin the Tusked - This days, you make a spear, and say "I'm a hunter" and nobody questions it. And speaking of spears, what is this crap they pass for weapons...
- How could you get the wolves's pelts without a skinning knife?
Sordisin the Tusked - SKINNING KNIFE?! HA! We used our TEETH son!
- That doesn't make any sense, the pelts would be ruined.
- Shhh!
Sordisin the Tusked - WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PELTS?! Youngsters these days, they have no respect! It's just offense over impertinence!
- Who else offended you Sordisin?
Sordisin the Tusked - IT'S SORDISIN THE TUSKED YOU GARDEN GNOME!
Sordisin the Tusked - I don't know who did it, but it was certainly a youngster. He stole my drinking cup!
Sordisin the Tusked - MY TEETH WERE IN IT!
- That must be it!
- Well, let's go search for it then.
Sordisin the Tusked - Where are you going?
- We are going...
Sordisin the Tusked - NOWHERE! Sit down! You have to listen! Youths these days don't listen! You have it easy these days, we hunted all the dangerous beasts!
Sordisin the Tusked - In my time, the wolves were 3 meters head to tail.
Sordisin the Tusked - AND THAT WERE JUST THE PUPS!
Sordisin the Tusked - This one time I met a truly huge wolf, it had teeth as large as a foot!
Sordisin the Tusked - Now, my trusty spear had broken just that morning, after 15 years of use. A 16 year old alone, and weaponless against a huge beast!
Sordisin the Tusked - IF IT WAS NOWADAYS, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MASSACRE! But...
This goes on for a couple of hours...
Sordisin the Tusked - ...And after our hunting party arrived with 50 wolf pelts for each men, after our two day hunting trip, the women of the village organized a feast, and...
Sordisin the Tusked - ...And...
Sordisin the Tusked - ...ZZZZzzzZZZzZZZ...
- -Whispering- He fell asleep, RUN!
The Fell Wood again.
It's the GD troupe again.
Fighting dangerous enemies in the Fell Wood is bad, because there's not much space to retreat the casters or anyone being chased.
Sir Dwarfington got surrounded, but he is the one with the highest AC anyway. Better everyone on him than one troll on each party member.
I remember having a tough time in some fights. I still had potions on this one, by the SS.
They are going down.
Finally.
Some Useless dead.
And some spiders.
Lots of spiders.
Thankfully they didn't swarm the casters
I'm using potions by the dozen tough. With only Wizerella and Lizzie as casters, I can't just fill Lizzie with healing spells, I need her as a support caster. Especially while Wizerella can't cast.
Poison is deadly in this game. Without a potion, you are pretty much fucked. Luckily, I got dozens of potions of antidote in the Ice Temple. I just used one. Mortimer was poisoned in the SS before this one.
All dead. I should probably rest more.
Thankfully, only Useless Dead. Seriously, they aren't worth the SSs.
After a bit more of wandering, without any fights we reach our objective. The Drinking Horn, and one dagger. Our current equipment is better, but it will sell for a good price.
We return to the spirit.
- Here, take this.
As the spirit touches the Drinking Horn, he slowly starts to fade.
Sordisin the Tusked - What? You don't compliment your elders? Don't you have any manners?
Sordisin the Tusked - And what is this light? It's too bright! What do you mean "You have been accepted in the afterlife"?
Sordisin the Tusked - This is the afterlife? What a shitty looking place!
Sordisin the Tusked - In my days, it was told the afterlife was a majestic place with...
And finally fades completely.
- FINALLY! Let's report this.
Before we reach our next "employer"
- Goodbye Nym, don't forget those tips I gave you.
Nym - Thanks Mr. Goldenstein, I won't.
And we go talk to the widow's mother.
Kurttu - Ah, yes, it's about my son-in-law.
- What about him.
Kurttu - The useless wretch went and died.
Kurttu - His spirit is wandering close to the Fell Woods.
Kurttu - Altough I am ecstatic that the worthless cretin died, I want that memory erased! Go and deal with his spirit.
Yes dear readers, more Fell Wood and more Useless Dead.
After a bit of combatless wandering, we reach this clearing.
And those lights.
They are evil lights. Really, evil lights, what were the Wizards of the Coast paying their writers?
This fight is kinda confusing on LP format, because they teleport around. It looks like the SSs don't have sequence. Mortimer and the casters are using their ranged weapons, Mortimer because they jump around so much, and the casters because these fuckers resist magic and some magic damage types.
I realize that the Will-o'-the-Wisp thing existed before the WotC writers included it in the Monster Manual.
But it makes for a shitty monster. Maybe they were going for an atmospheric thing, I don't know...
Wizerella can cast again, but it doesn't help much in this fight. Except for haste which is always awesome.
The lights are going out! Ohoho, so clever!
Magic missile is always good too. Awesome spell, really, the only level 1 spell that is usefull the whole game.
Just as I praised MM... But that could happen to any spell. Except area of effect ones. Since those aren't targeted, they skip Magic Resistance. Of course, the target has to be vulnerable to their type of damage.
Dead. As dead as evil lights can be dead. I mean, are they alive? How is their fisiology?
He's not here. Let's look just outside.
Kyosti's Ghost - I... I have no idea!
Kyosti's Ghost - I mean, I may have cheated on her.
Kyosti's Ghost - But what man doesn't skip the fence once in a while, eh?
- Err...
Kyosti's Ghost - What does it matter if it was with her sister?
Kyosti's Ghost - I said to her: "Honey, it didn't mean anything, I love you! It's just that your sister is way hotter!"
Kyosti's Ghost - But for some reason it just made her more angry.
- Killing you for it does seem a disproportional reaction, yes.
Kyosti's Ghost - Other than that I am, I mean was, the perfect gentleman!
Kyosti's Ghost - I think I hardly ever hit her.
Kyosti's Ghost - When sober, I mean.
Kyosti's Ghost - But even drunk, when she was pregnant, I made sure only to hit her in the face!
Kyosti's Ghost - Because I'm sensitive to how important babies are to women, and didn't want her to suffer a miscarriage.
Kyosti's Ghost - ...
Kyosti's Ghost - Women, eh!?
We go back to the village to report our findings.
Suoma the Elder - They fled eh... Alright, I suppose you want to know the way out of Fell Wood.
Suoma the Elder - There are some creatures, the Dark Treants, they are what blocks you path. Now that you know about their existence, they will search you when you enter the Fell Wood. Slay them, and you will be able to pass.
- How do they know we know about them?
Suoma the Elder - They can sense it when you enter the woods.
- They are trees, then, psychic evil trees.
Suoma the Elder - Er, sort of, yes.
Mortimer gives a long meaningful look at the other party members.
- Just remember what barrels are made of.
As we prepare to leave the village:
- It was Nym who sold us out!?
- I'm so proud it almost brings me a tear to my eye.
- What do you want?
Possessed corpses.
Those things resist piercing and some slashing damage.
It seems bludgeoning is the best kind of damage in this game.
They take bonus fire damage. And don't hit very hard.
They are mostly a pain because of their resistances, but a non-issue.
All dead. Or un-undead.
- Er, right, hmm, it was our intention from the start.
We see the conveniently ressurrected hunters.
The Fell Wood again.
- Are we doing the right thing? I mean, I don't approve of their methods, but they do have a point.
- What are you talking about?
- Isair and Madae. There is discrimination against who is different, their goals don't seem inhumane.
- You can't be serious Barbaric!, you saw what they did to those villagers just now.
- Like I said, their views are a bit twisted, but discussion can be a better way of solving differences than swords.
- I do agree with you on that, but I think we are past that.
- Well, I don't...
Mortimer whispers something in Barbaric!'s ear.
Barbaric! punches a hole in a nearby tree.
- THEY ARE HALF WHAT?
- They are half-demon, yes, but that doesn't invalidate...
- NOT THAT HALF, THE OTHER ONE!
- Uh? The other half is...
- JEWISH! THEY ARE HALF-JEWISH!
- What? Barbaric! I don't understand, what is the trouble in that? Mortimer, your best friend is...
Mortimer signals to Dwarfington from behind Barbaric! to shut up.
- WHAT IS THE TROUBLE? ARE YOU MAD? ARRRGH!
Barbaric! grabs his axe and proceeds to deforestate the Fell Wood.
After a while Sir Dwarfington pulls Mortimer aside.
- Explain this.
- He hates jews with a passion.
- But you are jewish!
- Yes, but he doesn't know that. He imagines jews as some mithological evil, war-mongering, money-grubbing creatures, somewhat detached from humanity. Like drow for example.
- And you don't mind that he hates jews?
- He doesn't hate us... He hates an image. He was at my son's bar mitzvah.
- That's... Very understanding of you.
- Well, I can't be angry at him, he's my buddy. Besides we sometimes ARE evil, war-mongering, money-grubbing creatures.
We find those Dark Treants. But these are only a scouting party. We finish those pretty quickly.
This was a tough battle.
There's a crapload of treants here. It's hard to count, their sprite is confusing.
Clusterfuck.
I think some already fell. "Fell" get it? Cleverous!
It was over kinda quickly. I didn't even see Flamestrikes and Fireballs. Oh well, must have happened when I lost Dwarfington and reloaded.
We leave the Fell Wood. Finally.
The next update is going to take a while, I ran out of SSs, so I have to play more.
That, and being funny is hard! Like extracting milk from a rock while her calves try to feed, and you gotta push the little rock calves, but everytime you push one, the rock tries to bite you, while your father is looking and asking "Why haven't you got a girlfriend? Are you gay son? I'm dissapoint", and your father isn't really there, he's in your head! Because you're already 25 and socially inadequate! And haven't graduated yet! Fuck, someone gotta buy me Valiums...
Uhm, so, what were we talking about? Hmm, next update, right. I will try to get something done before next monday.
We start at the second time we play errand boy.
Tahvo the Huntmaster - Yes, there this spirit, that lives nearby and always stops our hunting parties for hours when they leave the village.
Tahvo the Huntmaster - He interlopes them and starts talking how a great hunter he was in his day, and how "kids this day don't know the pointy end of a spear from their dicks".
Tahvo the Huntmaster - He complains a lot about how "kids this day don't have any respect anymore", whatever this means.
Tahvo the Huntmaster - Yes, and the guy who did that ended up with a sword in the spleen.
Tahvo the Huntmaster - He didn't die. The local healer is also a druid, so she enchanted a pig's spleen, and put it in him. He's fine now, tough he oinks some times.
Tahvo the Huntmaster - To the west.
Sordisin the Tusked - How am I? How could I be? Awful that is! All this punks running around, pretending to be great hunters.
Sordisin the Tusked - In my day, if you wanted to be a hunter, you would have to go naked into a dire wolves den.
Sordisin the Tusked - If you come out alive, and with the wolves pelts in your back, you were qualified.
Sordisin the Tusked - This days, you make a spear, and say "I'm a hunter" and nobody questions it. And speaking of spears, what is this crap they pass for weapons...
Sordisin the Tusked - SKINNING KNIFE?! HA! We used our TEETH son!
Sordisin the Tusked - WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PELTS?! Youngsters these days, they have no respect! It's just offense over impertinence!
Sordisin the Tusked - IT'S SORDISIN THE TUSKED YOU GARDEN GNOME!
Sordisin the Tusked - I don't know who did it, but it was certainly a youngster. He stole my drinking cup!
Sordisin the Tusked - MY TEETH WERE IN IT!
Sordisin the Tusked - Where are you going?
Sordisin the Tusked - NOWHERE! Sit down! You have to listen! Youths these days don't listen! You have it easy these days, we hunted all the dangerous beasts!
Sordisin the Tusked - In my time, the wolves were 3 meters head to tail.
Sordisin the Tusked - AND THAT WERE JUST THE PUPS!
Sordisin the Tusked - This one time I met a truly huge wolf, it had teeth as large as a foot!
Sordisin the Tusked - Now, my trusty spear had broken just that morning, after 15 years of use. A 16 year old alone, and weaponless against a huge beast!
Sordisin the Tusked - IF IT WAS NOWADAYS, IT WOULD HAVE BEEN A MASSACRE! But...
This goes on for a couple of hours...
Sordisin the Tusked - ...And after our hunting party arrived with 50 wolf pelts for each men, after our two day hunting trip, the women of the village organized a feast, and...
Sordisin the Tusked - ...And...
Sordisin the Tusked - ...ZZZZzzzZZZzZZZ...
The Fell Wood again.
It's the GD troupe again.
Fighting dangerous enemies in the Fell Wood is bad, because there's not much space to retreat the casters or anyone being chased.
Sir Dwarfington got surrounded, but he is the one with the highest AC anyway. Better everyone on him than one troll on each party member.
I remember having a tough time in some fights. I still had potions on this one, by the SS.
They are going down.
Finally.
Some Useless dead.
And some spiders.
Lots of spiders.
Thankfully they didn't swarm the casters
I'm using potions by the dozen tough. With only Wizerella and Lizzie as casters, I can't just fill Lizzie with healing spells, I need her as a support caster. Especially while Wizerella can't cast.
Poison is deadly in this game. Without a potion, you are pretty much fucked. Luckily, I got dozens of potions of antidote in the Ice Temple. I just used one. Mortimer was poisoned in the SS before this one.
All dead. I should probably rest more.
Thankfully, only Useless Dead. Seriously, they aren't worth the SSs.
After a bit more of wandering, without any fights we reach our objective. The Drinking Horn, and one dagger. Our current equipment is better, but it will sell for a good price.
We return to the spirit.
As the spirit touches the Drinking Horn, he slowly starts to fade.
Sordisin the Tusked - What? You don't compliment your elders? Don't you have any manners?
Sordisin the Tusked - And what is this light? It's too bright! What do you mean "You have been accepted in the afterlife"?
Sordisin the Tusked - This is the afterlife? What a shitty looking place!
Sordisin the Tusked - In my days, it was told the afterlife was a majestic place with...
And finally fades completely.
Before we reach our next "employer"
Nym - Thanks Mr. Goldenstein, I won't.
And we go talk to the widow's mother.
Kurttu - Ah, yes, it's about my son-in-law.
Kurttu - The useless wretch went and died.
Kurttu - His spirit is wandering close to the Fell Woods.
Kurttu - Altough I am ecstatic that the worthless cretin died, I want that memory erased! Go and deal with his spirit.
Yes dear readers, more Fell Wood and more Useless Dead.
After a bit of combatless wandering, we reach this clearing.
And those lights.
They are evil lights. Really, evil lights, what were the Wizards of the Coast paying their writers?
This fight is kinda confusing on LP format, because they teleport around. It looks like the SSs don't have sequence. Mortimer and the casters are using their ranged weapons, Mortimer because they jump around so much, and the casters because these fuckers resist magic and some magic damage types.
I realize that the Will-o'-the-Wisp thing existed before the WotC writers included it in the Monster Manual.
But it makes for a shitty monster. Maybe they were going for an atmospheric thing, I don't know...
Wizerella can cast again, but it doesn't help much in this fight. Except for haste which is always awesome.
The lights are going out! Ohoho, so clever!
Magic missile is always good too. Awesome spell, really, the only level 1 spell that is usefull the whole game.
Just as I praised MM... But that could happen to any spell. Except area of effect ones. Since those aren't targeted, they skip Magic Resistance. Of course, the target has to be vulnerable to their type of damage.
Dead. As dead as evil lights can be dead. I mean, are they alive? How is their fisiology?
He's not here. Let's look just outside.
Kyosti's Ghost - I... I have no idea!
Kyosti's Ghost - I mean, I may have cheated on her.
Kyosti's Ghost - But what man doesn't skip the fence once in a while, eh?
Kyosti's Ghost - What does it matter if it was with her sister?
Kyosti's Ghost - I said to her: "Honey, it didn't mean anything, I love you! It's just that your sister is way hotter!"
Kyosti's Ghost - But for some reason it just made her more angry.
Kyosti's Ghost - Other than that I am, I mean was, the perfect gentleman!
Kyosti's Ghost - I think I hardly ever hit her.
Kyosti's Ghost - When sober, I mean.
Kyosti's Ghost - But even drunk, when she was pregnant, I made sure only to hit her in the face!
Kyosti's Ghost - Because I'm sensitive to how important babies are to women, and didn't want her to suffer a miscarriage.
Kyosti's Ghost - ...
Kyosti's Ghost - Women, eh!?
We go back to the village to report our findings.
Suoma the Elder - They fled eh... Alright, I suppose you want to know the way out of Fell Wood.
Suoma the Elder - There are some creatures, the Dark Treants, they are what blocks you path. Now that you know about their existence, they will search you when you enter the Fell Wood. Slay them, and you will be able to pass.
Suoma the Elder - They can sense it when you enter the woods.
Suoma the Elder - Er, sort of, yes.
Mortimer gives a long meaningful look at the other party members.
As we prepare to leave the village:
Possessed corpses.
Those things resist piercing and some slashing damage.
It seems bludgeoning is the best kind of damage in this game.
They take bonus fire damage. And don't hit very hard.
They are mostly a pain because of their resistances, but a non-issue.
All dead. Or un-undead.
We see the conveniently ressurrected hunters.
The Fell Wood again.
Mortimer whispers something in Barbaric!'s ear.
Barbaric! punches a hole in a nearby tree.
Mortimer signals to Dwarfington from behind Barbaric! to shut up.
Barbaric! grabs his axe and proceeds to deforestate the Fell Wood.
After a while Sir Dwarfington pulls Mortimer aside.
We find those Dark Treants. But these are only a scouting party. We finish those pretty quickly.
This was a tough battle.
There's a crapload of treants here. It's hard to count, their sprite is confusing.
Clusterfuck.
I think some already fell. "Fell" get it? Cleverous!
It was over kinda quickly. I didn't even see Flamestrikes and Fireballs. Oh well, must have happened when I lost Dwarfington and reloaded.
We leave the Fell Wood. Finally.
The next update is going to take a while, I ran out of SSs, so I have to play more.
That, and being funny is hard! Like extracting milk from a rock while her calves try to feed, and you gotta push the little rock calves, but everytime you push one, the rock tries to bite you, while your father is looking and asking "Why haven't you got a girlfriend? Are you gay son? I'm dissapoint", and your father isn't really there, he's in your head! Because you're already 25 and socially inadequate! And haven't graduated yet! Fuck, someone gotta buy me Valiums...
Uhm, so, what were we talking about? Hmm, next update, right. I will try to get something done before next monday.
Krash
Arcane
*Applause*
Good entertainment, do continue
Good entertainment, do continue
You're extremely good at bringing the funny into LPing.
desocupado said:
This.Crooked Bee said:
You're extremely good at bringing the funny into LPing.
The rant at the end:
.
desocupado
Magister
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2008
- Messages
- 1,802
This one took a lot of time. I got a case of writer's block. But I managed to have something funny in it, I hope.
It might be a little short. I uploaded more than 100 SSs, but I think I skipped a lot of trash mobs.
Here you go.
We start in this area. The web you see was probably a trap or something like it, because it triggered before we even saw those spiders
Standard fare. Mortimer is using ranged attacks because it's better option to melee here, since we can get trapped in the web.
I use Flame Shroud. It does fire damage over time to one target, with a chance of getting other targets on fire.
After a while I decided to stop using this spell because it seems my melee fighters are VERY flamable.
One spider approaches our casters, and I throw a Melf's Acid Arrow. Probably pepper it with arrows too, because a Melf's Acid Arrow isn't enought to kill a spider.
Dwarfington gets pretty hurt, so I move him while using the casters to shoot his attacker.
After a while of the casters not hitting anything, I think I just turn and hit the spider before it kills Dwarfington.
- Now that we aren't stuck in that region anymore, there's that small issue of where do we go?
- I don't think going back to Targos is a good idea. It would take weeks, and we have our asses to take care off, because the Legion of Chimera is now looking for us.
- - While looking at Wizerella's ass - Yes and there's one ass in special I need to take care.
- Mortimer, don't be gross!
- What? I'm talking about MY ass! What I was looking at had no relation to our conversation.
- I'm too young to die. Besides if I die there will be no one to look out for my wife and kids!
- It gives me the shivers thinking of her marrying again and have a stranger educating my kids and much likely doing a better job than I!
- What sort of parent are you if you aren't there to feed, love and horribly-scar-for-life your kids?
- If we are the prey, we need to turn the game around.
- Let's go after them. I want to put their jew heads on a pike!
- Altough it's quite dumb going after someone with so much personel at their disposal, unless we can hide somewhere, it might be our only choice.
- Hiding would be problematic. We haven't been covering our steps. It would be easy to find us.
- Even with this much snow?
- Oh, our literal steps are covered by the snow. The problem is the huge amount of corpses we have been littering the land with.
- In the spring the vultures will have a party.
- I don't like the idea of hiding. They will probably just grow in power in time, and they might start waging war on Targos and other cities.
- They mentioned the Severed Hand as their base. It's there we have to go, then.
- Lets move.
In that spring...
Vulture Joe - Look there, so much food.
Vulture Mark - Yes, lets eat!
Vulture Joe - Hmm, this is good! Here, have a bit of troll spine.
Vulture Mark - Oh, it's delicious. You should try some wolf brains.
Vulture Joe - Oh, I can't, brains are 90% fat! It will go directly to my thighs!
Vulture Mark - Your loss... Shame all this frozen food isn't as good for you as the fresh stuff.
Vulture Mark - I read somewhere that it loses the vitamins and important minerals.
Vulture Joe - Don't complain. We are in better luck than our friends in the south. They haven't had a war in years!
Vulture Mark - It's a nightmare living under a peaceful regimen, eh?
After we move a bit, we find those stones. It's a quite simple puzzle, actually, just move them sideways to clear a way. As we are doing just that, we are attacked.
Entangle and Fireball. Those "x damage bonus" doesn't indicate a vulnerability, it's actually a feat I got earlier, 20% fire damage.
This part is actually a bit hard. Those barbarians aren't much, but their numbers is an issue. I had to reload once or twice.
Still, Entangle makes my life easier by making my target static.
When they come at us divided it's easy to fell them.
After the melee ones die, we just enter the entangle area and kill the shaman.
Here is the puzzle solved.
As we move forward. Wyverns.
A shitload of Wyverns attack Lizzie.
And they end up hurting her badly. Pulling her out.
Mortimer gets poisoned. I'm running out of cure poison potions too. I cast some spell at one of those Wyverns following Lizzie.
It's not enough to do the job. I get Dwarfington down there to deal with it.
He takes a while to get there, so I cast Turtle Shell to keep her from dieing. That was actually the last Wyvern.
We move to another area.
Ingrath Mariner - Damn. What do we do now?
- Liz, do you know of any way?
- I don't think so. I was hoping the ice weren't this thick. There was a way across the mountains, but we can't go through there with this much snow.
- I may know of a way. When me and Nym were talking, he mentioned that he brought his goods through a shortcut that got him to this area.
- He also talked about how his merchandise kept complaining that it was too damp and dark, and how he should put on a coat to avoid getting sick.
- So I assume it's a cave. That cave over there, since there's no other cave around here.
- Wonderful. Let's go check that cave, then.
Ingrath Mariner - Wait a second Mr. Dwarfington do you smell this?
- Gods! You ate a homeless man?
Ingrath Mariner - That was not me, that was a dragon's fart.
- How can you recognize a dragon's fart?
Ingrath Mariner - It's a funny story, actually. Once a wizard hired me to get a dragon's heart for a spell component, but I'm a bit deaf on one ear, and I heard "dragon's fart".
- Didn't you find it weird?
Ingrath Mariner - Not anymore than usual. What does a dragon's heart have to do with magical stuff?
Ingrath Mariner - Or a virgin's tear?
Ingrath Mariner - What does it matter if the woman is a virgin or not?
Ingrath Mariner - She was not fucked in the eye ducts!
Ingrath Mariner - I tought that maybe the farts had some substance produced by the dragon's guts, I don't know.
Ingrath Mariner - Anyway, at first I tried to hide inside the dragon's lair, with a potion of invisibility and a jar.
Ingrath Mariner - My plan was to wait hidden for the dragon to fart, gulp the potion and run to his rear to put the jar close to his ass.
- ...
Ingrath Mariner - Don't look at me like that. Times were tough! And the reward the wizard offered was huge!
Ingrath Mariner - Well, it didn't work because when I smelled it, he was already done farting.
Ingrath Mariner - I needed to catch the dragon when he was continuously farting.
Ingrath Mariner - I was close to getting a cow's hide, filling it with burritos and leaving it outside it's cave, when I was called on a progress update by the wizard, and the mistake was cleared up.
- Right. Thanks to this lovely story, we know that it's a dragon's lair. We still need to enter it.
- We are going to fight it, in case it's home, but we need you to back us up.
- Are you up to it?
Ingrath Mariner - Sure.
- Hmm, I expected more resistence.
- Are your men in agreement with this?
Ingrath Mariner's men - Sure.
Ingrath Mariner's men - It's just an overgrown lizard.
Ingrath Mariner's men - My mother was killed by a dragon. She was a bitch, I cherish that dragon to this day. But I'm in.
Ingrath Mariner's men - I don't want to die. But I have cancer anyway.
Ingrath Mariner's men - And I AIDS.
Ingrath Mariner's men - And I dandruff.
Ingrath Mariner's men - And I hate my wife.
Ingrath Mariner's men - My son puts fake wings and tail and prances around in the village.
Ingrath Mariner's men - I'm so high on cocaine right now that I don't give a fuck what we do.
- Right. Lets go.
We advance to the dragon's den.
- Why that doesn't surprise me?
Dragon fighting! If you have been paying attention to the buffs the party members have (Of course you havent't! Nobody should be looking at tiny unimportant symbols in low quality screenshots. If you have been paying attention, then you need apsiquiatrist psychiatrist. Seriously, stop reading this LP now, and look one up. Ok, don't stop right now, finish reading first because it's good, and make sure you mental health institution has internet access, so you can keep following it. I have few enough readers, I don't want to lose one. Even if he's a lunatic). You now have forgotten what the phrase before the parenthesis was about. Go back and re-read. So, there's a new symbol in there. It's stoneskin. It's a borderline cheating spell that reduces all damage you take by 10, up to 10 damage per caster level.
Since we had the insight of only taking the fighters close to the cave entrance, only the White Wyrms menace the casters.
But obviously, they need to be protected from anything bigger than a aidetic ladybug. And Mortimer can't hit the ground if he throws his weapons up, so I pull Dwarfington towards them.
Meanwhile, lets hope Barbaric! survives the White Dragon.
Lizzie is casting something I don't remember.
How a ladybug would catch AIDS, you ask?
Ohh, Call Lightning.
Well, her cheating husband got drunk in a party, and was seen leaving with a skankish looking ant.
Call lightning wasn't enough to kill one of those. You can also see the shitty damage a Fire Arrow does if the target makes the save.
I was keeping a close eye on Barbaric!'s portrait, because I was expecting him to take a lot of damage. But surprisingly, that wasn't the case. I pulled Wizerella up a bit, and resumed casting.
They are all dead or almost there.
Barbaric! did a very good job of not dieing, and almost killed the dragon by himself.
The dragon gets a few hits in, but ends up dead. Decline of me for not getting a SS of his body. His dead body I mean, I'm not admiring his pecks or anything like that.
Hmm, suspicious... What he could possibly mean by "Now we'll have to kill them"?
Ingrath Mariner - Why? I, uh, forgot to put out the cooking fire inside my tent.
- You really expect me to believe this crap? You gotta be kidding me!
- Hey, cooking fires are no kidding matter! My great-aunt once...
- Shut up, Mortimer!
- You are either spies or assassins, but it doesn't matter, because now you die!
- They are swingers!
- You meant "gangbangers".
- And by that, you meant "doppelganger".
Those things are almost as frail as the useless dead.
We go to the cave.
ANOTHER DRAGON! I wasn't expecting that.
By some miracle, my casters weren't targets, so I simply pulled them back.
One of the spells was Hold Monster, pretty self explanatory, and the damn thing saved.
Lizzie's spell was probably Alicorn Lance, judging by the damage. I don't know why the hell I did cast that crap.
I sent Lizzie into the fray to heal Barbaric!. Healing spells are touch, so you gotta be close to start casting. The target can move after that, shouldn't work like that, but works.
Clusterfuck!
No clue on what's being cast. Lizzie still has Flamestrike, but I probably didn't want to kill my guys along with the dragon.
Vitriolic Sphere. Damage over time thing, with a small AoE. Shitty damage on save, apparently.
Aren't those things going to die? I'm getting tired of typing here.
Level 4 and 5 spells are very crappy. Seriously, give me more fireballs any day. Fire Shroud in theory is great, in practice it kills my melee fighters more than the enemy. Fuck that shit.
In case you are wondering, it does decent fire damage over time to one target, but can catch on any nearby unit. OF COURSE my fighters catch it all the time.
The bloody thing finally croaks. I think I won both dragon fights without reloading.
It's looting time!
- We have slain (no google this time!) a dragon! Err, two dragons! There should be piles of treasure here!
After a lot of searching...
- Blast it! Nothing?
- Nothing.
- Nothing here either.
- Goddamnit! Why the hell there isn't any treasure?
- Maybe they were poor, and lived under dragon welfare
- What's the difference between dragon welfare and regular welfare?
- Well... The former is for dragons?
- Oh, I found this.
- - Reading - "As big as your tail: A guide to male dragon enhancement."
- - Reading - "It can be quite frustrating having a proportionally smaller penis than mammals. Especially so when you gonads are inside your body. Some psychologists suggest this is why most chromatic dragons harbor some bile over mankind. This book offer techniques that will increase your size, improve your self-esteem, make you a happier dragon, and make the world a better place by reducing the number of dragon related deaths..."
- Ha! That's almost worth not finding any treasure!
- I found this too. It looks like dragon porn.
- Ugh, that's disgusting.
- That adds a whole new meaning to "breath weapon".
- What are they doing in that picture?
- I don't know. That doesn't look right.
- LIZ!
- Come help us understand some dragon porn!
- Liz?
- Bah, women.
Here's the hole to the next area. In the next update.
And seriously, there were only 3 pieces of loot and only one was any good. An armor for Mortimer which improved his AC by 1.
It might be a little short. I uploaded more than 100 SSs, but I think I skipped a lot of trash mobs.
Here you go.
We start in this area. The web you see was probably a trap or something like it, because it triggered before we even saw those spiders
Standard fare. Mortimer is using ranged attacks because it's better option to melee here, since we can get trapped in the web.
I use Flame Shroud. It does fire damage over time to one target, with a chance of getting other targets on fire.
After a while I decided to stop using this spell because it seems my melee fighters are VERY flamable.
One spider approaches our casters, and I throw a Melf's Acid Arrow. Probably pepper it with arrows too, because a Melf's Acid Arrow isn't enought to kill a spider.
Dwarfington gets pretty hurt, so I move him while using the casters to shoot his attacker.
After a while of the casters not hitting anything, I think I just turn and hit the spider before it kills Dwarfington.
In that spring...
Vulture Joe - Look there, so much food.
Vulture Mark - Yes, lets eat!
Vulture Joe - Hmm, this is good! Here, have a bit of troll spine.
Vulture Mark - Oh, it's delicious. You should try some wolf brains.
Vulture Joe - Oh, I can't, brains are 90% fat! It will go directly to my thighs!
Vulture Mark - Your loss... Shame all this frozen food isn't as good for you as the fresh stuff.
Vulture Mark - I read somewhere that it loses the vitamins and important minerals.
Vulture Joe - Don't complain. We are in better luck than our friends in the south. They haven't had a war in years!
Vulture Mark - It's a nightmare living under a peaceful regimen, eh?
After we move a bit, we find those stones. It's a quite simple puzzle, actually, just move them sideways to clear a way. As we are doing just that, we are attacked.
Entangle and Fireball. Those "x damage bonus" doesn't indicate a vulnerability, it's actually a feat I got earlier, 20% fire damage.
This part is actually a bit hard. Those barbarians aren't much, but their numbers is an issue. I had to reload once or twice.
Still, Entangle makes my life easier by making my target static.
When they come at us divided it's easy to fell them.
After the melee ones die, we just enter the entangle area and kill the shaman.
Here is the puzzle solved.
As we move forward. Wyverns.
A shitload of Wyverns attack Lizzie.
And they end up hurting her badly. Pulling her out.
Mortimer gets poisoned. I'm running out of cure poison potions too. I cast some spell at one of those Wyverns following Lizzie.
It's not enough to do the job. I get Dwarfington down there to deal with it.
He takes a while to get there, so I cast Turtle Shell to keep her from dieing. That was actually the last Wyvern.
We move to another area.
Ingrath Mariner - Damn. What do we do now?
Ingrath Mariner - Wait a second Mr. Dwarfington do you smell this?
Ingrath Mariner - That was not me, that was a dragon's fart.
Ingrath Mariner - It's a funny story, actually. Once a wizard hired me to get a dragon's heart for a spell component, but I'm a bit deaf on one ear, and I heard "dragon's fart".
Ingrath Mariner - Not anymore than usual. What does a dragon's heart have to do with magical stuff?
Ingrath Mariner - Or a virgin's tear?
Ingrath Mariner - What does it matter if the woman is a virgin or not?
Ingrath Mariner - She was not fucked in the eye ducts!
Ingrath Mariner - I tought that maybe the farts had some substance produced by the dragon's guts, I don't know.
Ingrath Mariner - Anyway, at first I tried to hide inside the dragon's lair, with a potion of invisibility and a jar.
Ingrath Mariner - My plan was to wait hidden for the dragon to fart, gulp the potion and run to his rear to put the jar close to his ass.
Ingrath Mariner - Don't look at me like that. Times were tough! And the reward the wizard offered was huge!
Ingrath Mariner - Well, it didn't work because when I smelled it, he was already done farting.
Ingrath Mariner - I needed to catch the dragon when he was continuously farting.
Ingrath Mariner - I was close to getting a cow's hide, filling it with burritos and leaving it outside it's cave, when I was called on a progress update by the wizard, and the mistake was cleared up.
Ingrath Mariner - Sure.
Ingrath Mariner's men - Sure.
Ingrath Mariner's men - It's just an overgrown lizard.
Ingrath Mariner's men - My mother was killed by a dragon. She was a bitch, I cherish that dragon to this day. But I'm in.
Ingrath Mariner's men - I don't want to die. But I have cancer anyway.
Ingrath Mariner's men - And I AIDS.
Ingrath Mariner's men - And I dandruff.
Ingrath Mariner's men - And I hate my wife.
Ingrath Mariner's men - My son puts fake wings and tail and prances around in the village.
Ingrath Mariner's men - I'm so high on cocaine right now that I don't give a fuck what we do.
We advance to the dragon's den.
Dragon fighting! If you have been paying attention to the buffs the party members have (Of course you havent't! Nobody should be looking at tiny unimportant symbols in low quality screenshots. If you have been paying attention, then you need a
Since we had the insight of only taking the fighters close to the cave entrance, only the White Wyrms menace the casters.
But obviously, they need to be protected from anything bigger than a aidetic ladybug. And Mortimer can't hit the ground if he throws his weapons up, so I pull Dwarfington towards them.
Meanwhile, lets hope Barbaric! survives the White Dragon.
Lizzie is casting something I don't remember.
How a ladybug would catch AIDS, you ask?
Ohh, Call Lightning.
Well, her cheating husband got drunk in a party, and was seen leaving with a skankish looking ant.
Call lightning wasn't enough to kill one of those. You can also see the shitty damage a Fire Arrow does if the target makes the save.
I was keeping a close eye on Barbaric!'s portrait, because I was expecting him to take a lot of damage. But surprisingly, that wasn't the case. I pulled Wizerella up a bit, and resumed casting.
They are all dead or almost there.
Barbaric! did a very good job of not dieing, and almost killed the dragon by himself.
The dragon gets a few hits in, but ends up dead. Decline of me for not getting a SS of his body. His dead body I mean, I'm not admiring his pecks or anything like that.
Hmm, suspicious... What he could possibly mean by "Now we'll have to kill them"?
Ingrath Mariner - Why? I, uh, forgot to put out the cooking fire inside my tent.
Those things are almost as frail as the useless dead.
We go to the cave.
ANOTHER DRAGON! I wasn't expecting that.
By some miracle, my casters weren't targets, so I simply pulled them back.
One of the spells was Hold Monster, pretty self explanatory, and the damn thing saved.
Lizzie's spell was probably Alicorn Lance, judging by the damage. I don't know why the hell I did cast that crap.
I sent Lizzie into the fray to heal Barbaric!. Healing spells are touch, so you gotta be close to start casting. The target can move after that, shouldn't work like that, but works.
Clusterfuck!
No clue on what's being cast. Lizzie still has Flamestrike, but I probably didn't want to kill my guys along with the dragon.
Vitriolic Sphere. Damage over time thing, with a small AoE. Shitty damage on save, apparently.
Aren't those things going to die? I'm getting tired of typing here.
Level 4 and 5 spells are very crappy. Seriously, give me more fireballs any day. Fire Shroud in theory is great, in practice it kills my melee fighters more than the enemy. Fuck that shit.
In case you are wondering, it does decent fire damage over time to one target, but can catch on any nearby unit. OF COURSE my fighters catch it all the time.
The bloody thing finally croaks. I think I won both dragon fights without reloading.
It's looting time!
After a lot of searching...
Here's the hole to the next area. In the next update.
And seriously, there were only 3 pieces of loot and only one was any good. An armor for Mortimer which improved his AC by 1.
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