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Taking Down the Manocracy: Spore Edition (Let's Play)

Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
Allow me to be your guide in this journey into the center of Spore. Many claim the game to be mediocre, so why bother playing it and instead just watch me as I take my female organism from cell to space to dominate the evil phallic loving male creatures of the universe.

But being that my Spore is offline (for whatever reason that could be :wink: ) Jimbob's multiheaded dick creature unfortunately will not be included.

We begin on a planet. The planet of....

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Yes, Codexicron. The female cell refuses to be the standard "oh let's have a salad" female and instead will tear the patriarchy apart with her jaws! She is carnivore, and is ready to kick some ass.

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Take that Christian/Muslim/Jewish misogynists! I came from a meteor! Not some male "God!"

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Delicious meat has been feasted on. But what is this? One of these creatures have left behind a horn? Great, a phallic weapon, just what I was expecting to be all over this universe. We'll see what we can do with this later. Luckily the horn's abilities is "attack and break" which is the only thing men have ever done.

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The female cell has seen a giant Goliath of a cell. It is time to investigate further. But unfortunately being a large man trying to dominate over the small, it attacked. I escaped quickly to find a female life partner:

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I will always love you Jowwi! You are my bride, just as I am yours. But we are both powerful women in our own right. None of us shall ever own each other.

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Our child. This is what the perfect world would be, if two females could come together and create a child. It is beautiful. And the species now has a name to show our feminine might! Kasierin! Notice the small horn between the mouths. It represents the small phallus which male culture has murdered their women to conceal. Well not it cannot be concealed! Instead it is front and center for all to see!

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Huh...two hulking man creatures. I'm sure I will face a lot more of you in the future. Look at that green bastard with the phallus for a mouth! He shall face the ultimate wraith!

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Post-wrath. And with it, I have earned his penis.

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A shocking member in the cause against feminine power was eaten by me. Princess Diana of the Kaiserin has received in turn the electricity power used against me. But I question the need to use it. What if more sisters come to my assistance and I shock them? That is not feminine power!

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A beast of the patriarch! I knew there would be one everywhere! It is time for battle! Go Princess Diana GO!!

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Fuck....it...it ate me! That bastard! There will be REVENGE!

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RE!

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VENGE! HA HA! The daughter of Princess Diana: Aphrodite of the Kaiserin has succeeded! The male oppressors of that species has been put in it's place!

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A bulbous testicular creature prepare for death!

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My death...FUUUUCK!

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Our new heroine takes on the patriarchy head first! Victory must be ours!

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It is not retreat! I just refuse to allow another sister to die for our cause! We shall be victorious this day under the banner of Athena the Kaiserin!

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Athena must mate! We shall grow ever more powerful in removing the penis of this universe!

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We sisters are now faster, and not only that but we have buds releasing poison to destroy those men who dare sneak up on us in an effort to destroy our femininity from subterfuge! They shall not enter our backdoor!

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A female is being attacked by that bastard I saw previously! HE WILL BE BROUGHT DOWN LIKE THE HAMMER OF THO.....THORINA!

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Watch my sisters and I work together for our cause! It is more beautiful than something any man can do!

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The spoils of war. Or gwar...which is girl war. But we are not mere girls, we are sisters and heroines!

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The phallus creature of 10,000 phalluses shall fall.

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Finally! I didn't fucking die!

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Another penile agent down. A universe full to go.

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Yes! My sisters and I have done it! We have become sentient. I have the strange feeling that the Kaiserin brain will never grow beyond that size.

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We have turned 3D!

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We have been given legs. The poison bud is meant to represent the venom of our words against the patriarchy. The small horns remain as the ever vigilant reminder of the overcompensation of MANkind.

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And now we are on land!

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Tune in next time for.....THE CREATURE STAGE!
 
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
5,933
Location
Scotland
But being that my Spore is offline (for whatever reason that could be Wink ) Jimbob's multiheaded dick creature unfortunately will not be included.

I think I can send you some saved .png of my dickbeast that you can put in a folder to add it to your game
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
Admiral jimbob said:
But being that my Spore is offline (for whatever reason that could be Wink ) Jimbob's multiheaded dick creature unfortunately will not be included.

I think I can send you some saved .png of my dickbeast that you can put in a folder to add it to your game
Yes plz.
 

Fez

Erudite
Joined
May 18, 2004
Messages
7,954
Fight on, sister.

Read this instead of playing it. You'll not miss much.
 

Pastel

Scholar
Joined
Jun 16, 2007
Messages
894
So the first form of the land creature looks exactly like the microorganism only bigger? Lame. The old version was much better.
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
Pastel said:
So the first form of the land creature looks exactly like the microorganism only bigger? Lame. The old version was much better.
It's all part of a plan. It'll change along the way, but I'm trying to make the creature look non-phallic. Thus making a giant tall creature will probably end up looking like a penis somehow. So I'm trying to avoid it, also trying to avoid it look like other creatures I've made in the past.
 

Kaiserin

Liturgist
Joined
Mar 14, 2008
Messages
4,082
Take that Christian/Muslim/Jewish misogynists! I came from a meteor! Not some male "God!"
Not like they call that hypothesis panspermia or anything. :roll:
 

Pastel

Scholar
Joined
Jun 16, 2007
Messages
894
Is kaisering just trying to look knowledgeable? Because I don't see why the irony was necessary.
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
Kaiserin said:
Take that Christian/Muslim/Jewish misogynists! I came from a meteor! Not some male "God!"
Not like they call that hypothesis panspermia or anything. :roll:
Don't get mad that I chose you over kingcomrade to be the name of the species. Can you never be happy?
 

OccupatedVoid

Arbiter
Joined
Sep 4, 2006
Messages
1,846
Location
East Texas
You don't have to drag and drop pictures into the editors. You can save them in My Spore Creations\Creatures, which is located in My Documents, and they will automatically be added into the sporepedia.
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
I'm not sure I won't those creatures. I'm trying to avoid fucked up looking things. Unfortunately the maxis guys have made some teddy bear looking creatures to. So I might as well add those 2000+ for some variety. Though I really want the Multiheadus Dickus included in my game somewhere.
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
Vaarna_Aarne said:
This thread also needs the Goatse creature to be faced.
Find me goatse, and I shall turn off the maxis creatures. There will probably be the other stuff I've created, and then the multiheadus dickus. Which in my mind is nicknamed blackhart because it fits his tastes.
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
Part 2: The Stage de Creature Volume 1

We last left the Kaiserin as we walked upon land to carve a swath through this testicular planet known as Codexicron. We have discovered our mortal enemy:

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The Multiheadus Dickus. Where will we face these demons? Tribal? Space? Who is to say. But these are the offenders that need to be crushed. Sisters unite!

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Cecilia of the Kaiserin has made her way out of the comfort of the bosom to these creatures. Nothing but a walking eye and bulb for a penis. It practically screams latent homosexuality. They are but a messenger of the Multiheadus Dickus! I know it!

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Feel our feminine strength! The Hivecock have been put in their place (Hint: Their place is HELL).

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Cecilia found these creatures worthy of feminine pride. Maybe it was the color scheme, or the fact that they had no legs.

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Wait...what is this? The brain of the sisterhood has grown! Rejoice! We are coming for you Multiheadus Dickus!

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Cecilia took some time out to party with her new sisters. Unfortunately the party ended when she vomited all over her ally's sacred grove....

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Look! We can collect new possible body parts from bones! We spit in the face of Charles Darwin's "evolution" by the fact that we do not evolve from natural selection, instead we do it by finding random parts and mating. Take that patriarchy!

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The Batzu (moar liek BatJEW amirite?) were the sisterhood's next enemy. They also had no legs, but had phallic spikes all over their body.

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Victory.

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Cecilia's partner and I have mated. I lay my egg ready to bring about the newest sister for our cause!

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Holy shit that egg is huge!

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The Kaiserin have...changed a little. They have wings to soar to the greatest heights that man cannot reach. They have hands to tear apart the manocracy by the scrotum! And...for whatever reason they are cycloptic dolphins!

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With Alanis' new found abilities, she must be taught by one of the elder females. Here she learns to dance in an appropriate and non-whorish manner. Unfortunately there is the ability to "charm" which forces the Kaiserin to show off their backside! What the fuck Maxis? Are you expecting my beautiful feminine creatures to bow to man and allow him to enter my rectal cavity?!? I think not! Will Wright your nerdy ass is mine!

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The sisterhood grows as I have added another Kaiserin to the pack. She shall be Melissa.

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Melissa and Alanis' first target. The Ferpu. If the Jolly Green Giants testacles fell off and grew body parts, that would be the Ferpu.

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The Clevian world....

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...has begun as I feast upon a baby Ferpu.

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The Dweebeeble are next. Their black eyes reveal their soul filled with the desire to oppress female kind.

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Their kind is now oppressed. And by oppressed I mean extinct.

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Plugs. Another harbinger of the Multiheadus Dickus. It's back is nothing but a penis with eyes. The electricity I refused earlier is graft on them as the head of their phallus!

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Their demise has only made womynkind stronger with the growing of our brain.

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The perfect representation of MEN besides the Multiheadus Dickus. A pig. A giant angry pig. FEEL OUR WRATH FATTY MOTHERFUCKERS!

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Cleve's wet dream continues...

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Victory tastes of baby meat and cloned cheetah!

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The Grobit. Hulking manish creatures trying to push their weight around. Us sisters will teach that bastard some manners!

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I used my mighty female roar to scare off some of the weaker Grobit males as we destroyed them one by one!

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The peedl. I assumed they were pedophiles and thus Alanis and Melissa took care of them.

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Take that muslims!

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The beauty of birth! Alanis has mated with her life partner.

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wat. Prongripper? PRONGRIPPER?!?!?! THIS GAME WAS MOST CERTAINLY MADE AS PART OF THE MALEOCRACY'S PARTRIARCHAL AGENDA OF MASTURBATION! Disgusting!

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Few true changes made. Mostly an upgrade of wings, mouth and other body parts. The new child shall be named Ellen! Rejoice!

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But wait! My sisterhood is leaving me! WAIT! YOU CUN...I mean....sisters! I will come for you! You may migrate to another nest, but Ellen is strong. She and her remaining sisters will make it to our new nest!

Tune in next time for: Part 3: The Creature Stage Volume 2 - Mighty Migration and Devastation!
 
Joined
Jul 30, 2006
Messages
5,933
Location
Scotland
Oh, damn, looks like I sent you my tribal-stage Dickus (from the stuff it's wearing, at least). Since you only encounter other Kaiserins through tribal and civ stage, you won't meet my children until you head into space.
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
Admiral jimbob said:
Oh, damn, looks like I sent you my tribal-stage Dickus (from the stuff it's wearing, at least). Since you only encounter other Kaiserins through tribal and civ stage, you won't meet my children until you head into space.
Well Tribal has more than just Kaiserin. But I'll be sure to make a space incarnation of the Multiheadus Dickus, unless you have one. So it doesn't mix up, I think I'd name those Blackhart.
 

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