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Let's play Blood Bowl! (Update 15: Endzone)

What race will we lead to glory?

  • Humans

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Orcs

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Lizardmen

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Wood Elf

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Chaos

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Dwarves

    Votes: 0 0.0%

  • Total voters
    0
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

Kamelåså!
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blood-bowl.jpg


These brave souls wil be putting their life on the line for your amusement
Team Roster said:
Flying Spaghetti Monster
Elwro
ComradeCommisar
Silellak
Pipka
GarfunkeL
Zappater
Brother None
Undead Phoenix
anus_pounder
Andyman Messiah
Mike Jahn (Back after surgery)

Reserves:
back to sportforredneck

Brave, departed BROs:
BethesdaLove
Lightbane
Azira
We always need fresh reserves. Sign up for glory today!

So, after getting horribly raped by games workshops lawyers for ripping off their license with Chaos League, Cyanide eventually went and made a "real" blood bowl game. And by "real", I mean a bloated mess that got half the rules wrong and had a horrible interface.

I haven't actually played the game before -- but as friend of mine did, and he gave me his disc. We'll be playing the campaign, leading a team of 11-16 players into glorious bloodshed™ and accidental touchdowns on the pitch. Naturally, we'll be playing on the highest difficulty.

blood-bowl01.jpg


The game gives us a choice of races to choose from:

Humans: All-rounders. Lots of positionals. Vanilla race
Orcs: Big, green and mean. They're somewhat slow, but very tough. Expect them to make a ton of casualties nce they get some skills on their positionals
Skaven: Very fast, very cheap, very fragile. These guys are going to get killed a lot. They'll win a ton of matches though.
Lizardmen: An odd mix of tough and squishy. I sucked at playing them in tabletop
Wood elf: Fragile and squishy. These guys have tons of agility, and will probably have an easy time winning the cup. They're also complete and utter fags, like all elves.
Chaos: Furfags. They have lots of goats, and tentacles later on with mutations
Dwarves: If I pick these guys, it'll be a faceroll to victory. Seriously, dwarves are EZ mode.

You have 24 hours to cast your votes, then we'll create our team. Whoever suggests a team name that makes me laugh the longest is team captain. I'm also going to need at least 11 players to make a starting roster. Who's man enough for the pitch 'o glory?

[edit]

After serious consderation, I have decided that playing blood bowl on hard is not EXTREME enough. Therefore, whichever race is picked I will NEVER GIVE A PLAYER BLOCK. If someone (like, say, a human blitzer) starts with t, that's fine and dandy. But block is such a boring no-brainer skill. Having no block will make dicerape more likely, leading to player deaths and a massive :incline: of ths LP.

Index of matches

Preseason test
Meet the rapists
Game #1: I shall call him "Onesie".
Game #2: Fun with Goats
Game #3: Skulls, skulls everywhere!
Game #4: The return of Goatse
Game #5: ForrestFag Showdown
Game #6: The Green Massacre
Game #7-10: Steamroller Extravaganza!
Game #11: Purge the mutants!
Game #12: ITZ HAS ARRIVED!
Game #13-14: Come to Plaguefather Nurgle! Let him embrace you.
Game #15: Midget Mayhem
Game #16-17: When an unstoppable force meets a squishy object
Game #18: Blood for the Blood God!
Game #19: Endzone
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

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39.gif
Right. Let's get this started. I assume everyone knows how everything works, so let's just --

kewz.jpg


39.gif
*sigh* Yes, Cultist-Chan, I suppose you do. Out with it then, I assume it's the only way to shut you up.

ccnorm.jpg
Hwee weesh to know how to plhaay blaad bawl for kay-oss!

39.gif
It's really quite simple, so long as you have more than two brain cells to rub together. Though I suppose that rules you out!.

ccaww.jpg
...

39.gif
Oh, don't give me that look. Ugh. All right, look. You can join as a cheerleader I suppose. Just don't get any of my players Nurgle afflictions prior to any of the finals.

demo1.jpg


Blood Bowl is played to appease Nuffle, the great God of Blood Bowl and botched dice rolls. Two teams of up to 16 players face off on a pitch. Up to 11 players may be on the pitch at a time, 11 being the Sacred Number of Nuffle. The game takes place over 2 halves, in which each team has 8 turns. On a turn, each player is allowed to move, block an opponent, attempt a blitz and/or attempt to get hold of the ball.

This being no pussified american football, things have a habit of getting fairly rough on the pitch. Injuries (and death) is not uncommon. The winner is formally whoever scored the most touchdowns. But massacring your opponents team is a moral victory in itself.

ccgrin.jpg
Hwee weel cap-toor the ball! For KAY-OSS!

39.gif
Something like that. I'm glad to see you enter into the spirit of the whole thing. Now, most things in blood bowl are governed by dice. Dodges, sprinting (called Go For It), everything involving the ball is decided by rolling a normal 6-sided die. Your players agility and the die roll deterimes success or failure. Savaging your opponents (blocking and blitzing) is detrermined usng special block dice.

demo2.jpg


39.gif
The full rules are fairly simple, but too long for me to bother posting here. I understand that te AI is fairly stupid, so I'm open to interesting ways of handicapping myself to make hard mode an actual challenge as opposed to one-sided buttrape without lube. I will keep a running tally of injuries caused by our players, and periodically dole out little trophies to the meanest, most violent sociopats amongst you.
 

Zdzisiu

Arcane
Joined
Dec 3, 2009
Messages
3,489
Didn't we have a Blood Bowl LP here on the Codex? With Codex members as players?

I do not mean that you shouldn't do another one, I'm just wondering what had happened to the first one.
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

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Zdzisiu said:
Didn't we have a Blood Bowl LP here on the Codex? With Codex members as players?

I do not mean that you shouldn't do another one, I'm just wondering what had happened to the first one.

We had Chaos League, which is a blatant blood-bowl rip-off. But Blood Bowl is superior, due to the fact that it's completely turn-based. :smug:


[Edit]

A search yielded more results than consulting the LP extravaganza thread. :oops:
Apparently I'm not the first person to LP this game, but that won't keep me from doing it again. If bioware can rehash old shit and make millions, so can I.
 

Bluebottle

Erudite
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Joined
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Dead State Wasteland 2
The running/passing game is the most fun to play, and the skaven are best at that without being fucking elves.

Of course, we have had a skaven LP.
I don't think we've had a goblin one, though.
;)
 

Elwro

Arcane
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Location
Krakow, Poland
Divinity: Original Sin Wasteland 2
There was a goblin LP, I think... "Let's get horribly raped in Blood Bowl" or something. Chaos, too. And also skaven.
 
Self-Ejected

Ulminati

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ComradeCommissar said:
Dragula said:
Dark Elves

Follow this persons advice. If not DE, then just go with Chaos.

I also second Spaghetti Monster's thought, if there's room toss me in. :M

Dark elves aren't a valid choice on the team select menu. Also, I always ended up playing dark elves in tabletop games back in the day. I was hoping for somethng new and different. I skipped on goblins, since apparently cyanide couldn't be arsed to implement their secret weapons. (And chainsaws and bombs are what make goblins worth the price of admission)
 

Brother None

inXile Entertainment
Developer
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Elwro said:
There was a goblin LP, I think... "Let's get horribly raped in Blood Bowl" or something. Chaos, too. And also skaven.

This. Only I ended up winning games with the Gobbos anyway. Game's AI is never too smart, and I didn't go with hard for some reason :/

So skip Chaos, Skaven and Gobbos please. Lizardmen sounds like a fine idea to me.

Dark Elves is some retail version only or summat no?

Ulminati said:
I skipped on goblins, since apparently cyanide couldn't be arsed to implement their secret weapons. (And chainsaws and bombs are what make goblins worth the price of admission)

Apparently? No. The looney, pogoer and fanatic are in.
 
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Ulminati

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Brother None said:
Elwro said:
There was a goblin LP, I think... "Let's get horribly raped in Blood Bowl" or something. Chaos, too. And also skaven.

This. Only I ended up winning games with the Gobbos anyway. Game's AI is never too smart, and I didn't go with hard for some reason :/

So skip Chaos, Skaven and Gobbos please. Lizardmen sounds like a fine idea to me.

Dark Elves is some retail version only or summat no?

Ulminati said:
I skipped on goblins, since apparently cyanide couldn't be arsed to implement their secret weapons. (And chainsaws and bombs are what make goblins worth the price of admission)

Apparently? No. The looney, pogoer and fanatic are in.

Dark elves showed up after I patced the game. If there's an overwhelming desire to see me abusing witch elves, I can do emofag elves. But I still tink they're too easy to win with once you get a handful of block/dodge players.

Most interesting secret weapon is bombs on gobins though. Especially after he gets hail mary pass.
 

Silellak

Cipher
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Skaven LPer here. I'd suggest Dark Elves only because they'll be new and fresh in this LP, but do whatever the fuck you want, it's your LP.

Also, there can never be too many Blood Bowl LP's ever.
 
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Ulminati

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This is not the team we will use in the LP. I just needed to test that fraps was working correctly.

Preseason test game 1: The PMS of Nuffle

Figuring I should make sure I can actually grab and post screenshots, not to mention trying this supposedly horrid user interface, I made a throwaway rookie team for a match. Since people seem to like emofags, those will be what we roll with.

Behold Emotopia in all their faggy glory. The witch is a tranny, and consequently has the biggest pair of testes on the team, as will soon become apparent.
image002qd.jpg


We're randomly given lizardmen as our opponent
image003v.jpg


Match day, stadium is packed
image004r.jpg


Fairly standard setup. We receive the ball in the first half, preparing to quickly smash through the opponents poor defensive setup
image005uv.jpg


image006s.jpg

:rage:

Ah well, we push onwards
image007z.jpg

image008a.jpg


BOOM! Headshot! Skink is Badly Hurt :smug:
image012r.jpg

I stall at the endzone like a true faggy emo-elf. All I need now is to push a player out of the way and move a few guards in position.
image013d.jpg

image014jo.jpg

:rage:
Skinks are quick to capitalize on Nuffles fickle whims
image015b.jpg


Transvestite: Prepare for glory!
image016mr.jpg

image017zu.jpg


Down to 9v10
image018in.jpg


Lizards cage like pussies. This is not how we play Blood Bowl! We quickly surround a lone player and gently caress his face with our boots :smug:
image019ss.jpg

image020vr.jpg

image021w.jpg

KO is OK.

Cage tries to move past our defense. Fortunately, it is not tranny-proof! Spectators: Prepare for glory!
image022v.jpg

image023zc.jpg

image024vy.jpg

A measly stun, but the throw-in sends the ball deep into the lizardmens half
image025ms.jpg

The lizardmen are Not Pleased, and gives one of our linemen a Serious Injury, making him miss the next game
image025ms.jpg

No matter, because they could not catch up with our lightning offense
image028i.jpg

Last turn of the half, the lizardmen Dole out another Serious Injury, this time a strength decrease. I'm beginning to suspect loaded dice. :decline:
image033.jpg

image034g.jpg

Second half starts. 7v10 players. We need to delay their touchdown long enough to ensure a 2-1 victory. This could get ugly...
image036h.jpg

image038n.jpg

A brave blitzer runs by the mosh pit, going for a 2-dice blitz on the carrier. Sadly unsuccessful
image039.jpg

This just in: Both teams made of Fail
image040f.jpg

image041v.jpg

image042sn.jpg

Lizards are the first to escape the massive string of snakeeyes and fail. They decide to dole out another Serious Injury, permanently lowering the strength of our blitzer :x
image043e.jpg

Lizards score to 2-1 in turn 14. It's highly unlikely they'll manage a draw now.
image044.jpg

image045h.jpg

...It is also highly unlikely we'll have a team after this.

The crowd finally had enough of the faggy emo-elves and move in to finish the job
image046ks.jpg


Fortunately, the lizardmen are hit hardest, opening up an oppertunity for a 3-1 score. Ball is picked up and passed. All I need is a few GFI to get out of range of the saurii...
image047x.jpg

image048f.jpg

Sadly, our blitzer forgot to tie his shoelaces. The faceplants, gets himself seriously injured and the game ends at 2-1
 

Silellak

Cipher
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I'd suggest that when you start your real team, you name the players after Codexers - either random Codexers, random Codexers in this thread, or take volunteers. It makes the LP a bit easier - and more entertaining - to follow.

You don't have to, obviously, just my two cents. Either way, keep up the good work
:thumbsup:
 

MikeJahn

Educated
Joined
Mar 23, 2010
Messages
209
Cool game if there's any room left (or going to be made) feel free to add me as Mike Jahn.
 

Azira

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Codex 2012
Dark Elves? Ick...

Oh well, if you're taking names, put me in as an back-stabbin assassin. Those are always fun. :smug:

[EDIT]
Name suggestion: The Twilight Fanclub

Can't be more depressing than that..
 
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Ulminati

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Update time.


At the moment, the vote s split 4 ways, with Orcs, Skaven, Chaos and Dark Elves each having 4 votes. (I couldn't edit the poll to add them in). We also have 7 brave people, who've voulenteered or been voulenteered by virtue of suggesting a team name.

Current team name suggestions:
Suicide Bunnies, Emofags

We still need at least another 4 people before I can create a legal starting roster. And the way I treat my players, we're going to need reserves as well. :smug:
 

Elwro

Arcane
Joined
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Krakow, Poland
Divinity: Original Sin Wasteland 2
Pick me!

And I'm changing my vote from skaven (which are always a joy to watch / play) to Dark Elves (which I haven't played myself).

"Gutter Gnashers?"

"Decline Delvers"?

And, iff you're playing Dark Elves, "...:::Drizzt's Posse:::..."
 

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