ironyuri
Guest
Dear Codexians, welcome to my LP of CALL OF JAGGED ALLIANCE 2: BLACK OPS.
I will not be using the V. 1.13 mod as I have no experience with it and feel it would make doing an LP more difficult for me in the long term. I will however be playing JA2 v 1.12 on expert, ironman, tons of guns and realistic.
To complete this endeavour I present to you the cybernegro that will lead a team of fellow cybernegroes to victory over Deidranna, I give you:
COCK COMMANDER SHEPARD
Our tale begins in the poor South-Mexo-Central-North American Island Nation of Arulco which suffers under the yoke of the bitch from hell, Queen Deidranna:
Her troops roll into rebel villages to pacify enemies of the foul regime
Civilians and poor farmers are slaughtered. An outrage.
Meanwhile, on a rainy night in a shady Prague cafe:
Enrico: We've got a dire situation on our hands, compadre! Deidranna has cracked down on the coca farmers and as a result, world cocaine supplies have dropped significantly...
Shady figure: Do you have any idea what this means? Commander Shepard won't be pleased...
Enrico: I know... we might just be able to use this to our advantage. Have you brought the dossier?
Shady figure: Yes, sir.
Meanwhile, somewhere north of the border:
Shepard: BITCH! What kind of shit did you cut this blow with? Where did you get this shit?
Hooker: They told me it's all they had... nothing's coming in from Arulco Shep... I mean, Cock Commander...
Shepard: Arulco, huh? Some political crackers fucking with the Cock Commander's supply... Looks like I'm going to have to collar grab a sucker!
INTRODUCING: THE BLACK OPS TEAM
CYBERNEGROES WITH A TASTE FOR BLOOD
Shortly:
Shepard: I hear you're putting an ops team together to collar grab that bitch Deidranna in Arulco. Well, the Cock Commander wants a piece of the action! My team's ready to hit the ground, just say the word... *hangs up*
Shepard: That was some ride, now let's lock and load bros.
Ice: We got bad guys here, Shepard...
Shepard: Looks like you need to stay frosty.... Ice...
Shepard: COME CLOSER SO I CAN GRAB YOUR COLLAR, SUCKA!
Blood: I'm taking alot of heat, Commander!
Shepard: The Cock Commander demands that every cybernegro does his duty! Suppress them! :monocle:
Ice: Engaging the bad guys, Shepard!
Shepard: Save some for Shepard!
Ice: Enemy neutralised, Commander!
Shepard: You, woman, I'm looking for the Arulcan rebels! Don't even think about fucking with me.
Fatima: Enrico Chivaldori sent you? Oh my... We had given up hope...
Shepard: Well you don't need hope anymore, you have the Cock Commander and his band of cybernegroes! Now, show me to this "Miguel".
Miguel: You... you say Chivaldori sent you? The hubris! We have struggled against Deidranna for months... I have lost many fine comrades and he sends me three negroes? What do you think you can do to help us in Arulco, Commander? Do you think you can achieve what the will of the people cannot?
Shepard: Listen, Miguel, these are two of the finest cybernegroes ever built. Just point me at Deidranna and step aside, because if you or any of your men get in my way, I won't hesitate to drop you. From now on, you play by the Cock Commander's rules.
Miguel: ... How dare you! Men, I order you to shoo-
Shepard: *punches Miguel in the stomach* Stow your shit, wetback. Come on, bros, let's get out of here, we've got work to do...
Ira: Shepard! Wait! I want to join you....
Shepard: Ice, Blood... you know the rules. First the Cock Commander, then the rank and file.
Ice: Yes, commander...
Blood: ........
Next: The Cock Commander needs an airfield.
Post-script: Just incase I didn't make it quite clear, the LP is called Black Ops because I will only be using negroid party members. I may however consider using Slavs, as an argument could be made that they are 'potato niggers', the negroes of Europe. If some of our fine eugenicists and phrenologist Codexers can convince me, I will add some potatoes to Shepard's squad. If I lose squad members, I may have to...
I will not be using the V. 1.13 mod as I have no experience with it and feel it would make doing an LP more difficult for me in the long term. I will however be playing JA2 v 1.12 on expert, ironman, tons of guns and realistic.
To complete this endeavour I present to you the cybernegro that will lead a team of fellow cybernegroes to victory over Deidranna, I give you:
COCK COMMANDER SHEPARD
Our tale begins in the poor South-Mexo-Central-North American Island Nation of Arulco which suffers under the yoke of the bitch from hell, Queen Deidranna:
Her troops roll into rebel villages to pacify enemies of the foul regime
Civilians and poor farmers are slaughtered. An outrage.
Meanwhile, on a rainy night in a shady Prague cafe:
Enrico: We've got a dire situation on our hands, compadre! Deidranna has cracked down on the coca farmers and as a result, world cocaine supplies have dropped significantly...
Shady figure: Do you have any idea what this means? Commander Shepard won't be pleased...
Enrico: I know... we might just be able to use this to our advantage. Have you brought the dossier?
Shady figure: Yes, sir.
Meanwhile, somewhere north of the border:
INTRODUCING: THE BLACK OPS TEAM
CYBERNEGROES WITH A TASTE FOR BLOOD
Shortly:
Next: The Cock Commander needs an airfield.
Post-script: Just incase I didn't make it quite clear, the LP is called Black Ops because I will only be using negroid party members. I may however consider using Slavs, as an argument could be made that they are 'potato niggers', the negroes of Europe. If some of our fine eugenicists and phrenologist Codexers can convince me, I will add some potatoes to Shepard's squad. If I lose squad members, I may have to...