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Let's Play Fallout: New Vegas

Mastermind

Cognito Elite Material
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Messages
21,144
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
andhaira.png
Greetings infidels. I am Andhaira, desert warrior without peer, son of legendary sultan Harun al Rashid, slayer of a thousand djinn. One hundred and one days ago I was pleasuring more than a dozen twelve year old virgins when I was torn from my father's harem and flung into a bizarre, decadent western world.

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But when I gazed upon my captors and saw their inhuman, plastic look, slick hair and bizarre clothing I thought that I had been stolen to serve as a congressional page/underage prostitute in the Great Satan, or perhaps I was in Hollywood where every tit is made of silicone and every man has a vagina. Alas, it was not to be. The infidels shot me and buried me like a dog.

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What is this kaffir staring at? You there! By the beard of Mohamed you shall tell me your name or I shall remove your head from your shoulders!

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The kaffir introduced himself as one Doc Hoff, and claimed I could rearrange my beautiful face.

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A hard knob surrounded by two rotund shapes. Is... is this what I think it is? Andhaira's heart leaps with joy!

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Alas it was just a decadent western machine. I shall claim the heads of ten infidels for this misdirection.

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Filthy, unclean beast.

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I dream of decadent western bitches massaging my testicles. Why is option not available?

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A man must make a living somehow.

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Vagina infested whore.

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That works too.

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What this mean? Is welfare check here?

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Muslims have embraced the idea of improvised explosive devices and firearms quite well. We are not as backwards as the kaffir thinks.

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Why do you show me picture of filthy woman vagina kaffir?

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Another? Do you wish to play a trick upon the great Andhaira? Your blood shall mix with that of the djinn upon my terrible blade.

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Oh is that goat asshole? Andhaira is appeased.

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Andhaira's strikes rain like lightning upon Allah's enemies, and his blows always hit like hammer!

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No welfare check but this will have to do.

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Only thing more amusing than stealing an old man's money is stealing his medicine.

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The doctor has sent me out to find a certain decadent western whore to teach me how to handle my gun in her filthy western ways. I shall oblige... for now.
 

SoupNazi

Guest
The entire cutscene is terribly done. It literally looks like someone made Ken-like dolls of those characters and badly animated them. Fortunately it is the only cutscene of that kind in the entire game. Even the shitty Gamebryo engine is better than that shit.
 

Mastermind

Cognito Elite Material
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Joined
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Messages
21,144
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
ISIyt.jpg

Soulless machine! What manner of djinn possesses you?

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The djinn feigns ignorance. Andhaira shall deal with the infidel in due time.

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The decadent western whore Doc Hoff has tasked me to find.

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The whore presumes to teach the great Andhaira. I shall play along... for now.

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What is this unclean beast doing here? Andhaira has bowed to the customs of the infidels long enough.

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The beast is resilient. Shaitan has granted it great endurance.

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The terrible beast finally goes down.

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The infidel whore begins her lesson as if nothing has happened. Perhaps she was under the thrall of the foul beast without even realising it. The whore is not particularly bright either. She asks Andhaira to practice shooting targets but I have shot them from point blank range and she does not seem to care.

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Something called a "tutorial" ended after the whore asked me to go "shoot some geckos" with her. I saw past her whore innuendo and declined. It appears she is now angry at the cleansing of the filthy beast. Andhaira has no choice but to put her down.

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ALLAHU AKBAR! ALLAHU AKBAR! ALLAHU AKBAR!

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Another enters the fray! To murder a son of Adam for a filthy dog... Andhaira has been nothing but a model of restraint, following the ways of the infidel to the letter. But because Andhaira cannot stand the presence of a filthy animal, he is hounded and persecuted by the Great Satan. Andhaira shall cleanse this entire town, but spare Doc Hoff who has been kind to him.

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The fate of all who stand against Allah's will.

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Andhaira is grievously wounded. I shall recover from the brink of death by downing several soft drinks.

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A third and last assailant is brought to justice.

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Andhaira has exterminated the aggressors. The tables now turn. I am become death, destroyer of decadent western whores and infidels.

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Two more infidels.

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They are brought down before they can draw their weapons. Andhaira's trigger finger truly is a marvellous sight to behold. Years of youthful training in my father's goat barn prove useful indeed.

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The tiger stalks his prey.

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Down goes the last of the infidels. It is time for a reward:

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It is no goat but it shall do.

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A graveyard in the distance.

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Andhaira gives all enemies a proper islamic burial.

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The symbol of the infidels is visible in this breathtakingly beautiful New Vegas vista.

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My business in this filthy town is concluded. Andhaira heads out to extract vengeance upon Allah's enemies.

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Although I am manly beyond reason, warrior without equal and sex machine without peer, I too have a softer side. I play with this tumbleweed like a small child.

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Unfortunately, tumbleweed not fit in asshole very well, so Andhaira must bid it farewell.

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Andhaira spots a fearsome dragon.

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After a terrible battle the dragon is left broken, unable to deal with Andhaira's relentless assault.

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A settlement is visible in the distance.

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Andhaira finally arrives at his new destination.

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Infidel in stupid looking helmet informs Andhaira that some terrible men have taken over the settlement.

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After a short stop at the infidel camp it is time for Andhaira to go to work.

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Andhaira has had much practice dodging American ordnance. Stealing these should prove no effort whatsoever.

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What is the meaning of this? Only Andhaira may rape and behead the corpses of infidel women. Islam abhors needless violence directed at peaceful settlement inhabitants. Andhaira shall avenge this injustice!

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First, I must steal a weapon.

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Armed and ready to rape goats and chew bubble gum.

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Andhaira was shocked to find that after resting in bed with the corpses for several hours, an enemy was right outside the hut he had infiltrated. The infidel is nevertheless easily dispatched.

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Stalking prey is like second nature to a great hunter.

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The infidel is resilient...

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...but goes down to a fist full of Allah anyway.

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Andhaira has regained his legendary skill with women.

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One of the murder victims. Who would be so cruel as to walk into a peaceful settlement and start shooting indiscriminantly? Andhaira shall rain the vengeance of Allah upon these fiends.

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And thus the first true challenge Andhaira must face in his journey appears...
 

Esquilax

Arcane
Joined
Dec 7, 2010
Messages
4,833
:incline: of Mastermind.

Dude, there's already a big Andhaira Magna Mundi LP, and while I like the concept, perhaps it would be more entertaining to reboot this and LP as skyway considering that New Vegas is pretty much the only thing he posts about nowadays.

But then again, more inanity is never a bad thing. Will be following!
 

Mastermind

Cognito Elite Material
Patron
Bethestard
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
21,144
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
Taking screenshots is enough of a pain to be worth rebooting. You did give me a decent idea for a side-plot though.

laclongquan said:
Oooo something destructive this way come.

I would say abandoned at 3rd page but this seem promising.

I am doing a half-assed iron man run. On a legit death the LP ends (which may not necessarily be a bad thing because I have something planned if that happens). Dying while trying to take screenshots does not count, but almost everything else is fair game.
 

Mastermind

Cognito Elite Material
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Bethestard
Joined
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Messages
21,144
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
0pmwR.jpg

Andhaira, Owl of the Desert, shall slay his enemies before they even know he is there.

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His prey approaches.

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Allah give me strength!

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Insallah the infidel has been slain.

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His brothers are now approaching the viper's nest.

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One falls...

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And the other bows with respect. It is an honor to have my name be recognized and feared even by common rabble.

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Alas, he escapes while I am reloading.

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Fortunately, Allah has blessed Andhaira with a swift mind. Andhaira quickly concocts a plan that cannot fail.

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The mines are lain...

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The leader of the infidels approaches...

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:rage:
It would appear that andhaira must consider a different plan.

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Relieved of his weapon, the infidel flees.

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The tables have now turned on the infidel. ALLAHU AKBAR!

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With their leader out of the way his flunkies are now at Andhaira's mercy.

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Lord Death approaches.

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And purifies the infidels in God's eternal flames.

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All that remains is blood and corpses. Andhaira shall be granted many decadent western bitches for this feat!

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A cowering infidel. Andhaira shall show him mercy so that he may spread word of his deeds.

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Disappear. I'm not done here.

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Though andhaira has cleared one floor, two more remain.

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Andhaira bravely hides in a utility closet.

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An Andhaira classic: shooting someone in the head as he turns a corner. Andhaira the Brave has surely earned his name!

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Moving his corpse to a new location, lest the other infidels catch wind of him.

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This seems as good a resting place as any.

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It is time for a bloody firefight...

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For someone else.

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I'd rather hide in the bathroom.

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And shoot infidels in the back of the head when they think the area is clear.

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The Snake of Islamabad stands poised to strike.

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His venom embraces another kaffir and sends his soul to Allah.

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Allah has truly blessed Andhaira. Andhaira had attempted to shoot this infidel with an empty gun, but when I pressed the trigger, he teleported away, allowing me to recognize my error. Allahu Akbar!

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Allah forbids drug use. It is why there are no powder gangers in Pakistan.

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A door out, but I still have more infidels to cleanse.

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BOOM! Went down like an Armenian grandmother before a Turkish bayonette.

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Behold my sexy booty.

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Time for the final push.

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Like a dervish of destruction, Andhaira guns down another freak.

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I call my next move the "Taliban Suppository"

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:obviously: :M

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Back out that door I saw earlier, I get into a running gunfight with a precocious kaffir.

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The kaffir is getting the worst of it.

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the kaffir has stopped trying

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he has been reduced to crying, cowering mush by the great Andhaira

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too easy

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like a rembrant painting

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I'm at the top of the world. TASTE MY ENORMOUS THREE INCH PAKISTANI COCK MOJAVE!

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This jump could only be accomplished by a djinn. perhaps I should go back the other way

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There is just one infidel left.

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This job shall require considerable accuracy.

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Insallah the infidel is on the brink of death.

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By the Prophet, peace be upon him, I have done it.

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If you look carefully you can see the infidel's corpse plunging from the tracks.

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And now, it is time for Andhaira to claim his reward. Many bitches shall be granted to him!

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Not quite what Andhaira is looking for...

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Bitches. That is, B-I-T-C-H-E-S, not Mad Max rejects.

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Now you are making Andhaira angry.

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The hair goes on your crotch, not your forehead. Pass.

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By Solomon's one thousand seals I give up! American women are too ugly for Andhaira. I shall settle for a new weapon.

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With his job in Primm finished, Andhaira heads out into the wild.
 

RK47

collides like two planets pulled by gravity
Patron
Joined
Feb 23, 2006
Messages
28,396
Location
Not Here
Dead State Divinity: Original Sin
Mastermind, please share your mods. I'd love to replay this gem again. :)
 

Mastermind

Cognito Elite Material
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Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
21,144
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
RK47 said:
laclongquan said:
The nude mod catch your attention, is it not?

Guilty as charged. :smug:

Not a mod, just a mesh replacer. Forgot where I got it though. Just look through the fallout Nv nexus for nude mods. :smug:

Other than that I'm just using clannfear's bullet time mod (lets you slow your perception of time at the cost of AP), a mod that removes the anti-cheating measures for casinos and one that improves the travel light perk so it's not shit anymore.
 

Mastermind

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Joined
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Messages
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Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
Updated the last post with the rest of the Primm stuff. I should have another round tonight. I have the screenshots for it already, i just need to process them.
 

Mastermind

Cognito Elite Material
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Joined
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Messages
21,144
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
GNnDM.jpg

Andhaira, Sword of the Prophet continues his journey.

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Ruffians lie in wait. But Andhaira has the cure for what ails them:

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GFK1M.jpg

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:yeah:

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Door to Codexia.

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This lady is day-no-myte

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One down...one to go down. :smug:

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My crotch is over here...

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Might as well go to town with this fucking dynamite, it is not like the great Andhaira requires resource conservation.

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It's not exactly a schoolbus full of children but it will have to do.

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Next best thing to an AK. :yeah:

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Two men holding hands. This is relevant to Andhaira's interests so we shall go there next.

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A derelict gas station.

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A derelict rad scorpion.

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A derelict plasma pistol.

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A puddle of goo formerly known as a rad scorpion. :yeah:

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Alas, Andhaira is not the thief the rest of his countrymen are, so the sole worthwhile object of interest, a weapon locker, is currently beyond our reach.

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The men are getting closer. Andhaira's heart skips a beat.

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Ai caramba. That's one fine piece of ass I would tap like a jackhammer. The decadent western whore next to her aint bad either.

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Perfect for head shots.

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The men were made of scrap metal. Andhaira is angry. He must kill infidel woman and desecrate her corpse.

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I said woman, not The Mummy Returns.

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No, Andhaira does not have any change. Disappear.

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Goodbye moonlight...

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There is little worthwhile here. The decadent western whore did mention something about smoke to the east so that shall be our destination. Andhaira is hungry.

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Coming up next: Andhaira vs Caesar's Legion.
 

Mastermind

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Messages
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Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
rmzig.jpg

It is the second night of Andhaira's adventure.

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Andhaira carefully surveys his surroundings.

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He believes to have spotted a great ambush site and as such must carefully prepare.

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Sure enough, there are infidels afoot.

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The infidel has not spoted us. Allah give me strength!

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Two infidels struck down like lightning.

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Ever vigilent...

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Andhaira carefully prepares his line of sight...

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And down she goes.

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The infidels' corpses now feed the ground below them.

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Out of nowhere, a third infidel appears, and nails Andhaira hard.

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Andhaira coldn't have dispatched him fast enough...

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For the infidel gang receives reinforcements. Fortunately, Andhaira is not spotted.

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And the stupid Americans choose to make it really easy for him.

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ALALALALALALALALA *Fires cowboy repeater* :yeah:

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Andhaira honors the dead with a traditional islamic burial.

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This gentleman believes he has won the lottery and thus escaped with his life.

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Andhaira, master over life and death, believes otherwise. :smug:

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We have arrived in Shittown, Great Satana. Andhaira is distrubed, and slightly aroused by the sight of half naked men tied up to poles.

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Interrogating the local Codexer reveals that the legion has slaughtered most of the local population and dragged the rest off as slaves. The shopkeeper and the faggot we shot earlier were let off, though the shopkeeper had his legs beaten with hammers.

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Andhaira sees this as an excellent opportunity to prove his worth. As he approaches the legion, the legion falls into formation with their leader foolishly exposing himself.

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Andhaira swiftly devises a trap.

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The legion does not appear to be hostile to him, so Andhaira will get the first shot. He must make it count.

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Vulpe Incultis goes down. This is where the hard part starts. Andhaira fires a few wild shots as the legion and their mongrels charge at him.

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The trap is set off by the faster legion mongrels, which unfortunately protects the bulk of the force from the damage. This is not good. Standing ground in open field is suicide for someone of Andhaira's fair complexion, so we shall make a tactical retreat.

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Andhaira quickly runs in the house behind him, but the legion is fast and arrives before he can properly prepare. A bloody and vicious short range firefight ensues, with andhaira managing to prevent taking much damage thanks to his rapid firing weapon and monstrous agility which allows him to reload and stagger the legion before they can reload their own weapons.

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Three legionnaires lie dead at Andhaira's feet. One is still fumbling around the house, but he should prove no trouble.

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What just might be the perfect level-up image. Frozen with the beautiful muzzle fire light in full bloom, the last of the legion's heads clearly blown to pieces as a replica of andhaira pops up on screen. :incline:

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Andhaira has received the best education Islamabad has to offer.

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Amusingly, a radscorpion has shown up and found nothing better to do than to feast on the corpses of the crucified powder gangers. Andhaira quickly dispatches the beast.

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The open road lies ahead of us once again.
 

DragoFireheart

all caps, rainbow colors, SOMETHING.
Joined
Jun 16, 2007
Messages
23,731
Pretty amusing LP. I'm assuming you are going for the Independent route? NCR is just another word for new kwan and Mr House is an abomination and a relic of the old kwan.
 

Mastermind

Cognito Elite Material
Patron
Bethestard
Joined
Apr 15, 2010
Messages
21,144
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
DragoFireheart said:
MetalCraze said:
Wow man you are totally roleplaying in this roleplaying game
Roleplay more please

Butthurt detected. :smug:

Have no fear, Skyway's turn will be coming soon. :smug:
 

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