Game News Dragon Age II Gamestar Review Tidbits

[Raapys]

I used to like bashing all these games, but now I'm just getting sick of seeing threads about them everywhere.

Can't we make a new sub-forum ala 'Yet Another Crappy Next-Gen Console Action Game' and put all these Bioware, Obsidian and Bethesda game threads in there?

 

[Hamster]

But it's 15 hours of Awesome!

I couldn't find the Awesome! button on my keyboard when playing the demo. Am I retarded?

Only one Awesome! button is too "unwelcoming", thats why all the buttons are Awesome!

 

[Gosling]

But it's 15 hours of Awesome!

I couldn't find the Awesome! button on my keyboard when playing the demo. Am I retarded?

You can keymap all your buttons to Awesome.

 

[hoverdog]

I'll probably end up buying DA2 to find out what they've done with the "wonderful new plot structure, spanning years of time" in practice. But the demo left me very weary. Could it be that Bioware has reached Bethesda F3 retardation levels? Oh well...

Just torrent it, please, and give the money for poor children of Africa.

 

[torpid]

Some posters on the Bio forums haven't yet figured out how modern game journalism works:

You don't give a game an 87 until its good, very good even.

Yet no posting the good points that had to have been written up with that score.

Proper score breakdown: actual score the game deserves + exclusive access + advertising + whores and booze + Bioware fanboys will lynch me if I score it too low = 87.

 

[BeholderX]

Hey, I was the one who translated that summary!

My first codex newspost - next stop: kotaku!

 

[Esquilax]

I'll probably end up buying DA2 to find out what they've done with the "wonderful new plot structure, spanning years of time" in practice. But the demo left me very weary. Could it be that Bioware has reached Bethesda F3 retardation levels? Oh well...

Just torrent it, please, and give the money for poor children of Africa.

Yeah, I have to agree with this. Please, don't spend your money on this shit - it will only encourage BioWare to decline further and further into even lamer shit. Besides, it's $10 more expensive than a typical retail game to begin with, not counting the bullshit DLC that they're loading it up with.

If you must play it, torrent it. Though judging from what we've heard, I don't know why you'd even want to do that.

 

[J_C]

We can agree that anyone who is buying this game contributes to the decline!

 

[T-T]

It costs 60$ in the States, and from what I can tell around 30 British Pounds? Us Polish turds can get it for the equivalent of 45$, which is a more or less commonish price for "Awesome AAA" titles round these parts.

In any case, yeah, you're right.

 

[hoverdog]

Another fellow potato! : x

 

[T-T]

But I'm a special mutated hybrid potato. They exported me to the US at a young age, where I underwent thorough brainwashing in public schools for 5 years. They made me learn engilsh, eat at McDonalds, memorize the Pledge of Allegiance, be all that I can be. I also sang the anthem at school assemblies, and partook in the joys of partially being raised by a TV set. Cool, huh?

 

[a budda]

but you're still potato, stary

first we take codex, then we take...

 

[waywardOne]

torrenting won't help. they still count those as sales, merely lost ones.

if it looks like shit and smells like shit, you must deny the urge to see if it tastes like shit. you already know it is.

 

[Forest Dweller]

Lolwhat? If they do they're retarded.

 

[Humanity has risen!]

Hahahahahahaha 12 hours of gameplay for the main quest, so friggin' pathetic.

break into a house at night to retrieve the will of Hawke's father, save a woman from her abusive husband, hunt an Abomination, and decide whether to turn in a dude using blood magic to impress his girlfriend

Nooo, it's not obvious at all that women write a large part of Dragon Age's content, what with these all men are evil undertones.

 

[Cthulhugoat]

- Game sucks!
- Final grade: 87!

:games journalism:

also, :$:

 

[Clockwork Knight]

- cameos: Alistair is available for an "inconsequential" 1-2 minute long chat if you imported the right DA:O ending

Cool, just like Kaidan / Ashley in ME2. I wonder if they spent more than 0.25 seconds on the dialogue this time, though

Lolwhat? If they do they're retarded.

Yeah, they figure out you would buy the game if it weren't available on torrents; after all you're downloading because you want to play the game - you're just pirating because you're a naughty boy.

Then again, I can't blame them for not realizing there are masochistic people with enough free time to download a ~8 gig game they never even considered buying

 

[DragoFireheart]

THIS GAME LOOKS LIKE ASS, FUCK MY LIFE FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

FUCK YOU BIOWARE, I LOVED BALDUR'S GATE 2 BUT NOW THIS SHIT DIE GOD FUCKING DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111111111111111111111

 

[sgc_meltdown]

This dragon's emotions sound fully engaged.

 

[DragoFireheart]

This dragon's emotions sound fully engaged.

That's a fucking understatement.

The worse part about it is these assholes used to make good/decent games. I wondered if the merging with EA would fuck it over and what do you fucking know! Shit games, DLC galore and a level of dumbing down that blows my fucking mind away. Lord, there are hints all over this review that the game is shit.

DA2 is fucking worse than Oblivion. I could at least enjoy the retardation of Oblivion, but this... this SHIT!

 

[Shannow]

Then again, I can't blame them for not realizing there are masochistic people with enough free time to download a ~8 gig game they never even considered buying

For a true webstalker size matters not.

 

[Lord Haw Haw]

But I'm a special mutated hybrid potato. They exported me to the US at a young age, where I underwent thorough brainwashing in public schools for 5 years. They made me learn engilsh, eat at McDonalds, memorize the Pledge of Allegiance, be all that I can be. I also sang the anthem at school assemblies, and partook in the joys of partially being raised by a TV set. Cool, huh?

 

[kris]

- If you choose not to import and use one of the 3 predefined "lore backgrounds" instead, the backstory is explained in a short cutscene of the final moments (Landsmeet+Archdemon fight) of DA:O.

What, it has a savegame import feature? I guess they decided that since it was a popular feature of ME they have to do that with every game now. I really hope this doesn't become a trend because I can't see most companies doing more than superficial crap with it.

What? Save game feature is a staple in RPGs and a good feature in games in the same setting. I can't believe you think this is something they came up with in ME. They had it in Baldurs gate and it was in KOTOR too. Many of the old school games had it. If you want to hate on it, focus on how it is used instead.

 

[Carlos' Bitch1]

87% is virtually today's equivalent of a 45% back in the 80's games publications.

Virtual music to my ears. If the sales flop as well, it will be real incline in motion.

 

[Gord]

- Game sucks!
- Final grade: 87!

:games journalism:

also, :$:

Read the text, read between the lines, but forget about the ratings.
I have this naive believe that the few gaming journalists that have not completely lost their self-respect by now are at least trying to hint at their true ideas about a game in the actual review text.

The rating is only there to please the gaming industry, because someone has to pay them after all.