DA2: A short review of this insulting abomination

[keithburgun]

This game caused me psychological damage. Yowza.

"DA's skill trees are broken, because it's just always better to focus on one tree than it is to take a little from each. Oh yeah, I'm gonna take dual wielding AND archery, over dual wielding and something inside the same tree as dual wielding that can be used WITH dual wielding. It's like, would you rather have two free Hyundai cars, or one free Mercedes? You can only drive one at a time, so what the fuck's the point in having more than one?"

http://expensiveplanetarium.blogspot.com/2011/03/dragon-age-ii.html


Let me know what you think, Codex!

 

[not an artichoke]

I read this.

I laughed.

Then I bought DA 2.

 

[Stasgard]

DA's skill trees are broken, because it's just always better to focus on one tree than it is to take a little from each.

I take a bit of exception with this statement. In most systems I've seen specilization is pretty much a priority. I haven't played the game, so I can't speak about whether this holds true in DA2, but I doubt it is any worse then most other skill-tree based games. Other then that though, well-written and well rounded review I though. Bit late, as everyone has basically said everything you have, but good to actually see someone articulate all this in one spot. (Fuck off, I know someone else probably has, but I haven't seen it yet)

Kudos to you.

 

[attackfighter]

"DA's skill trees are broken, because it's just always better to focus on one tree than it is to take a little from each. Oh yeah, I'm gonna take dual wielding AND archery, over dual wielding and something inside the same tree as dual wielding that can be used WITH dual wielding. It's like, would you rather have two free Hyundai cars, or one free Mercedes? You can only drive one at a time, so what the fuck's the point in having more than one?"

I fail to see how DA2's skill tree system is broken. The point of a skill tree is to provide you with multiple paths of advancing a certain skill, and DA2 accomplishes this - whether you're spreading your skill points out or focusing on a single tree is irrelevant. And anyways your claim that it's best to focus only on one tree at a time is bullshit.

As for the rest of your review, it's absurdly negative, and most of the criticism seems forced. I'm guessing you intended for it to be somewhat humorous, but you really went overboard and it comes off as a juvenile parody.

 

[circ]

The overall tone and spirit can be described as something like "He-Man with lots of blood".

I think that analogy best describes DA 2. Except even He-Man had better writing.

 

[attackfighter]

The overall tone and spirit can be described as something like "He-Man with lots of blood".

I think that analogy best describes DA 2. Except even He-Man had better writing.

Well you see that's one thing I don't get. Someone please explain to me how this reference to He-Man makes sense.

 

[Jools]

And anyways your claim that it's best to focus only on one tree at a time is bullshit.

Not really. Talent trees in DA2 are clearly designed to reward specialization and focusing on a couple of them (of course one gets so many points that by the end of the game the player will -have to- allocate a few points here and there as well), rather than spreading points all over them.

Furthermore, some talent "groups" are completely useless, thus making "streamlining" the "focusing" of talents-choice on the few remaining "groups".

 

[Awor Szurkrarz]

Nice review .

 

[Zed]

As for the rest of your review, it's absurdly negative, and most of the criticism seems forced

SC2

 

[Serious_Business]

Shit.

A turn-based mechanism would allow the game to be about difficult tactical decisions; instead, because it's in real time, it mostly boils down to a very bad action game.

How can this be not said of any Bioware game ever

Visuals : shut the fuck up. This game runs perfectly on my 30 years old PC, Bioware should be commended for making a game that isn't on the graphical cutting edge. I'm not sure why so many people are missing this. Plus, some of the art is actually good in this

Cutscenes? What? Well, sure, writing is Bioware, but then what the fuck do you expect. I think actually DA2 has some of the better writing Bioware did, not saying much of course

Music - yes I suppose it sucks, but then, saying it sucks is not intelligent analysis

Yes the game is Bioware. What the fuck is your point

Character system is good for what it is

Verdict : you are a "butthurt" ex Bioware fan that is crying too much. Stop making threads about this crap

 

[easychord]

Tactics can also be done in real time, it's just normally more confusing and less abstracted. I don't think that making Dragon Age 2 turn based would be enough to fix it from the sounds of things. Not really interested in playing the game to have a clearer opinion, however.

 

[circ]

Shit.

You are not serious.

 

[Multiple Sarcasm]

The game is doing far less damage to my psyche than DAO, so far (just made it to Act 2). Kinda disappointed by that, but DA2 is clearly so far up the console action ass in its design that I just can't muster enough rage for a good fffuuuu-.


Speaking of tactics: I can't see DA2 handling those. It's popamole incarnate (literally; moles pop-up from the ground and thin air right in front of you). If I had to go through all its horribly designed combat sequences (all 1.6 billion of them) tactically - not to mention turn-based - I would've given up on it long before I got to meet the emofaggiest butthurt elf Gayder's genius could ever come up with (hopefully not), and die of laughter and sarcasming delight.
Seriously, modern Biogames + tactics just don't work. Anyone who's managed to suffer through DAO derp roads and retain their sanity has a brain of steel.
And no, BioWare couldn't improve combat sequences to be tactically interesting if their balls were at stake. Don't kid yourself. Making combat irrelevant is the best they can do. And I'm guessing they'll replace it with QTE and "win fight" buttons, altogether, eventually.

 

[Volourn]

"Man... and I thought Dragon Age: Origins was bad."

Yet, you promptly went out and played DA.. Not exactly ane xample of intelligence hence very easy to iognore what you write. Hmm...


DA2 is likely BIO's tatical and ahrdest game ever. I'm such a wussy. There's a aprt of me who feels I should be playing at normal because ahrd is well.. hard. R00fles!

 

[Havoc]

Volly is getting worse and worse. He's getting so fat on his BIOpride that he can't write with his dick anymore and is writing with his tongue. His left arm is in the kitchen and the right on the power switch when he need to take a BIOnap.

It's bad. It really is.

 

[attackfighter]

And anyways your claim that it's best to focus only on one tree at a time is bullshit.

Not really. Talent trees in DA2 are clearly designed to reward specialization and focusing on a couple of them (of course one gets so many points that by the end of the game the player will -have to- allocate a few points here and there as well), rather than spreading points all over them.

Furthermore, some talent "groups" are completely useless, thus making "streamlining" the "focusing" of talents-choice on the few remaining "groups".

If you're a warrior or a thief you're going to focus on a single weapon style specialization (such as 2 handed, sword and shield, dual wielding, etc.), but after that you're probably going to spread your points out a bit. DA2 rewards specialization, but not to the extent that the OP implies.

 

[Jaesun]

I thought the article was kind of dumb to be honest.

 

[commie]

Shit.

A turn-based mechanism would allow the game to be about difficult tactical decisions; instead, because it's in real time, it mostly boils down to a very bad action game.

How can this be not said of any Bioware game ever

Visuals : shut the fuck up. This game runs perfectly on my 30 years old PC, Bioware should be commended for making a game that isn't on the graphical cutting edge. I'm not sure why so many people are missing this. Plus, some of the art is actually good in this

Cutscenes? What? Well, sure, writing is Bioware, but then what the fuck do you expect. I think actually DA2 has some of the better writing Bioware did, not saying much of course

Music - yes I suppose it sucks, but then, saying it sucks is not intelligent analysis

Yes the game is Bioware. What the fuck is your point

Character system is good for what it is

Verdict : you are a "butthurt" ex Bioware fan that is crying too much. Stop making threads about this crap

News just in: Serious_Business defends DA2. Loses all legitimacy on the Codex for any future raging quips against games.

 

[taplonaplo]

Whaa, now it's a bad thing that you have to decide whether primarily you are an archer or a melee fighter?

Based on my rogue (archer) experience i call bullshit on that. I rather had multiple abilities than some upgraded ones save a few crucial (read assassination tree as a whole, which i was dumb enough to pick up only after lvl 14).

 

[Hamster]

The "cinematography" is entirely blood-squirt-based; almost every scene has to either begin or end with a bunch of blood shooting across the frame, impressing only the dumbest of 13-year-old boys with each spurt. It's very manly, and not gay at all, even a little bit. To further prove the point, the women all have breasts the size of human heads or larger. This game is edgy, artistics, and above all else, heterosexual. I'm just kidding, it's none of those things. The writing is pretty offensive to anyone over the age of 15

So true

 

[Monocause]

Shit.

Yes. I guess it's a good enough codexian review, but hell, I've had enough of this edgy crap already. You aren't even pretending a lack of bias; after reading the first few sentences the rest of the review gets as predictable as Skyway's posts. The difference is that Skyway - being a God of Whine that he is - often points out flaws that are easy to miss and thus usually has some constructive (destructive moar liek) input at some point. You don't.

Sorry for being harsh but I don't see the point in calling stuff like this "reviews". You don't like the game, fine - I don't like it either, but I wouldn't consider calling the game "crap" a review - and that's all you do. No arguments or examples, just "X aspect = crap" extended into a whole paragraph of "This aspect of X is crap, that aspect of X is crap, now I'll say that Y is crap and all aspects of it are crap and add something witty to spice it up".

As much as the game is mediocre it isn't Uwe Boll of gaming, guys. It's certainly better in most aspects than Arcania yet even Darth Roxor's review felt more balanced and unbiased than whatever scrutiny DA2 faced on these boards - or in the OP's review.

EDIT: Fuck, even Uwe Boll's reviewers usually at least try to find something decent in his garbage.

 

[Big Nick Digger]

You focus on one weapon tree and one specialization. The others are filler garbage.

 

[shihonage]

Fuck, even Uwe Boll's reviewers usually at least try to find something decent in his garbage.

Why?

 

[Volourn]

"the women all have breasts the size of human heads or larger."

Why lie?

Oh yeah, it's the internet and a human is typing. Of course, lie. My bad.

Carry on, dude.

 

[Mastermind]

I automatically stop reading a review when the stupid writer complains that it's turn based. If you don't like TB games, you shouldn't be reviewing them. Incidentally, I automatically stop reading a review when the stupid writer complains that it's RT. The exact same advice applies. 0/10, shit review, etc.