I want to be a pretty princess - Let's Play the Royal Trap

[Shadenuat]

Explain yourself you blue-haired dick!

 

[oscar]

Protect Cassidy. I'm sure Callum means her/him no harm and that he'll tell us his story anyway, but trusting him so easily would probably make his romance path harder to avoid.

 

[LusciousPear]

This is way better than High School Torment. Protect Cassidy, as you need to hear the TROOF.

 

[Hirato]

Er.. Um... Explain yourself?

 

[CaptainAwesome]

I was not prepared.

 

[Erebus]

I was not prepared.

To read about transsexuals on the Codex ??

 

[CaptainAwesome]

To read about transsexuals on the Codex ??

Hindsight is 20/20, and I thought we had to watch for the player character being a tranny.

Foolish of me, but understandable.

 

[Lindblum]

So wtf is this some Dual personality bullshit?

Protect Cassy, avoid the cluster fuck romance path!!!

 

[abnaxus]

We will protect Prince(ss) Cassidy

I agreed to serve you until we found Princess Cassidy. Well, we've found her. My oath is quit.

I won't let you hurt her.

I have no intention of harming 'her'. This was never supposed to happen.

I did all this to save him.

I'm not a 'him'!

You really don't remember anything?

I don't know what you're talking about!

Caspian-

My name is Cassidy!

You stay back. You're scaring her!

Cassidy, why don't you tell us what happened last night?

And you -

<I point a dagger at Callum.>

Shut up.

<He shrugs, but takes no aggressive action.>

I... We were dancing.

<She manages a smile at Oscar.>

It was fun, having so many people around, but it was also a little overwhelming.

I spend most of my time with just my parents and my servants.

So I thought it would be nice to go into the gardens for a bit of fresh air. And I wanted to show Oscar the roses.

They're pretty, aren't they?

They are.

<She seems to draw courage from his smile, and continues.>

I was looking at the flowers and talking to Oscar, but he stopped answering me.

I looked around, and Oscar was on the ground, and that man was there.

He said – He said Oscar was ill and I should come with him where I would be safe.

And... I didn't know him, but I knew he was part of my family somehow or other...

<How could she not know her own brother?>

<Oscar said Cassidy wasn't allowed to play with her brothers, but for her to not even be sure who they are...>

So I went where he told me to.

And then he tied me up in his room!

Do you deny any of this?

Now you want me to speak?

Just answer my question. Did you abduct Cassidy?

Yes. But I never hurt him.

But you did hurt Oscar.

He was in my way.

And then you set up this scheme to, I don't know, steal from your own family?

No. I had nothing to do with that.

I left Cas in my rooms where I thought he would be safe until the search died down. When I came back, he was gone.

That thieving page had decided to hold him ransom.

Cassidy? Is that what happened?

I – I don't know. I saw her -

<She waves a hand at Dolores.>

- and I asked her to help me, but then she covered my eyes and pushed me around...

I'm not really sure of everything that happened after that. It was dark, and I was scared.

It doesn't matter. It's all over now. You're free, Caspian.

Stop calling me that!

Caspian is dead! He died when I was a baby!

That's what you're supposed to think.

<He looks at Oscar and me.>

Are you satisfied? Are you ready to hear me now?

Talk, but don't expect us to believe you.

I'm not the one who's been lying to everyone.

You may as well make yourselves comfortable. This could take some telling.

You should sit down. You've had a hard day, you need rest.

You're very kind.

Cas was my little brother and the closest person to me in the world.

All of our other siblings were much older, men in the making.

In the meanwhile, our royal parents seemed to have little interest in their youngest offspring.

I know now why it was, but at the time it never occurred to me to question.

My life was the nursery: my toys, my minders, and my baby brother, who trusted me in everything.

Then they came and took Cas away.

They said he was ill, that he was coming down with the plague and had to be quarantined, with special nurses.

I never saw him again. It was half a year later that they told me he was dead.

But if he was ill, and we were always together, why was I fine? If he had to be confined, why not me?

That's it? That's your reason for believing that Cassidy is Caspian?

Of course not. At the time, that was my reason for believing that life was unfair, and would always be so.

I wasn't interested in my new little sister. I didn't want a replacement for Cas, so I didn't think about the princess.

But that baby grew older, and still she never came to the nursery. Years, and I never saw her once.

Sometimes I wondered if I were the one with the plague, who had to be kept away from my siblings.

And then I was old enough that my parents were forced to give me my own rooms and full-time tutors.

And once you were gone, then they took the nursery for the princess?

I suppose. I didn't much care. I was used to it by then – being shoved aside, out of the way, ignored.

It wasn't until a public event when 'Cassidy' was about five years old that I finally laid eyes on the princess.

And it was Caspian. Older – too old for five years – and wearing a dress, but I knew his face.

She is your sister. It's not that strange that she might look a lot like Caspian.

Not similar in some way, the same face.

Look at me! Do I have the same face Cas does?

Well, no.

No one else saw it. No one else knew him like I did.

I didn't even question why he was there. All I knew was that my brother was alive. I ran up to him, calling his name.

That was when my father hit me.

I... I remember that. That boy... that was you?

They told me he was a thief who snuck in, and that he might have carried the pox... that was why they beat him...

Yes. You would remember the beating.

Your father beat you?

No. He had the guards take me away and teach me a lesson, once only.

That I was wrong, and a fool, and a disgrace, and that I was never to go near Cassidy again.

I had no idea... I'm so sorry...

You have no need to be sorry. You didn't cause it. You wanted to see your brothers, remember?

<He turns back to Callum.>

Your parents treated you unfairly, that's clear. But it proves nothing.

You made wild accusations in public, and they did not want the scandal.

Considering what it's led to now, it seems they were correct that you would bring them grief.

Caspian and Cassidy are different people. Cassidy was born before Caspian died. It's public record.

Yes. And for so long, I couldn't understand it. I almost started to believe I was wrong.

Then it all became clear.

Caspian and I were nothing to them. The infant Cassidy was the heir my parents had been longing for.

I think that baby died, and my wise mother could bear no more children. There could be no further princess.

And so, I believe, they chose to switch Cassidy for Caspian, and raise him as the heir of Gwellinor.

They've done it so well that even he doesn't remember who he really is.

Cas – They kept you isolated so that no one would break the illusion. So that I couldn't tell you the truth.

Everything I've done was to get you out of their clutches so that you could be free.

They stole your life. I'm here to give it back.

But... I...

There's one obvious problem with this whole story.

Caspian was a boy. Cassidy is a girl.

You are, aren't you?

Of course I am!

You can't simply put a dress on a boy and call him a girl. It wouldn't work.

Bind a living thing tightly enough and its growth can be stunted.

<He looks at his sister, and his voice takes on a hesitant tone.>

They've kept you so isolated. I have to ask – Do you know what is different between a man and a woman?

Men explore and conquer. Women nurture and defend.

...Not what I meant.

What I think he's trying to say is that men's bodies are different from women's bodies.

Yes. That's why women wear gowns.

That's true, but it's more a question of what's under the gown.

Have you ever seen men and women unclothed?

What?

You can't ask a lady a question like that!

She can, being a lady herself.

I... Of course I haven't! It wouldn't be proper!

In paintings or statues, perhaps? Books of engravings?

I would never look at such things!

Not even Sylvia de Gausir's 'The Myriad Ways'? It's very famous.

Convenient, isn't it, that they've sheltered their princess so profoundly?

There's nothing unusual about a princess being modest.

Yes, but so much that she can't even grasp the point of what we're asking?

What point?

Oh, for soil's sake!

They're trying to find out if you've a tail in front.

A what?

How long have you been listening?

Long enough, Lady Lackey.

I should have shut your mouth permanently.

Oh, and then who'd you have to take the tasks your noble hands are too pure to carry?

If none of you have the eggs, I'll life her skirts and see if she's got 'em.

What?!?

N-No one is lifting any skirts!

It isn't necessary. There are other signs.

Look at her hands. She has long and graceful arms, but small hands. Men's hands are larger in relation.

Her chin is smooth and soft and has no hair, and her throat lacks the male bulge. And her voice -

That is your natural voice, isn't it? You're not forcing yourself to speak in a high tone?

No.

You didn't have your voice mysteriously change a few years ago?

No.

Well, there you have it, then. She's a woman.

I did tell you that.

But... You're Caspian. You have to be.

Don't you remember me at all?

The nursery. You and I – You used to stand on the windowseat and point at things outside to make me tell you about them.

You liked to watch me fire a catapult, or spin a top, because you couldn't make it go as fast.

Your favorite toy was a stuffed cloth purple dragon. You used to sleep with it.

My favorite toy was a little blue bear that I carried around with me everywhere.

I don't remember ever seeing a toy catapult, and I didn't enjoy spinning tops.

Mostly, I liked dressing up my dolls and having them act out stories.

I'm sorry... but the truth is, Caspian is gone.

I...

I'm sorry. He sounds like he was a sweet little boy. I wish I'd known him.

I wish I'd known any of you. I was always so lonely, growing up.

So you're... really Cassidy.

I really am.

Then everything... it was all for nothing.

No.

It meant that we got to be together and talk to each other at last.

Otherwise, we would still be strangers.

Hug me back? Nobody ever hugs me.

I don't know why our parents treated you so badly, or why they kept us apart, but it was wrong.

But I'm an adult now. They can't lock me away. We can start over.

<She steps away from him, still smiling.>

What you did, you did because you loved your brother. That's not wrong.

Yeah. Really sweet.

Now, since we're all loving and forgiving, how about you let me go?

You are going back to the castle to face trial!

Because I can tell everyone that it was you who attacked Lady Fainting Blossom?

Sure, you could kill me so I couldn't talk. But then you'd have to kill Miss Nosy and Prince Simple too, huh?

What?

Was that your plan?

...Of course not.

My brother wouldn't do such a terrible thing!

 

[Lindblum]

ARGHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Royal Mother Fucking TRAP!!!

I...I... Really need to look under the skirt...

DEFEND!!!! We need him on our side so we can continue this investigation!!!

 

[Shadenuat]

I hate anyone who even remotely looks like Imoen, so defend Callum from... that.

 

[Lagole Gon]

... I don't know...
...what's going on...
...
...what?

 

[Black Cat]

Defend Callum.

With HUGGIES.

 

[oscar]

Accuse. Fuck this guy.

 

[Erebus]

If none of you have the eggs, I'll life her skirts and see if she's got 'em.

Dolores is from now on my favorite character in this game. She's bold, she's greedy, she's resourceful and she's not overly burdened with morals.


Callum's theory that Cassidy could be male was obviously absurd. Even assuming that Cassidy never got anything like Sex Ed and that her servants either didn't realize her gender or remained silent, the truth would have been revealed after her marriage. I guess magic/alchemy could explain an actual sex change, but there's no evidence that magic even exists in this setting.


Anyway, let's Accuse Callum. That'll teach him to threaten us into helping him.

 

[Black Cat]

I guess magic/alchemy could explain an actual sex change, but there's no evidence that magic even exists in this setting.

Spoiler

Nazagi's an alchemist.

But you do only discover that in his route I think.

Alchemy is however seen with great suspicion in the realms where the game does occur. Not so much back in his home.

 

[CaptainAwesome]

Defend.

Callum may be a dick, but the maid took our shekels.

No one may do so and live.

 

[Kz3r0]

Accuse. Fuck this guy.

 

[WhiskeyWolf]

Accuse. Fuck this guy.

 

[Kipeci]

Defend, unfortunately.

This had better rack up tranny points.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Um... ehhh... defend, I guess.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Accuse... I know, I know - Codex should go for tannies, but Dolores is pretty cool gal.

 

[Corporate_Jew_Master]

I'd say burn the fucker, but

Defend.

Callum may be a dick, but the maid took our shekels.

No one may do so and live.

Defend his faggot ass.

 

[RK47]

My sides.

 

[Crooked Bee]

Defend Callum.

With HUGGIES.