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In Progress Let's Rape the Lands of Central America in Expeditions: Conquistador

Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
ECLogo.png


It's not hentai or Wizardry and for that, I apologize. But I got this game because it looks awesome. I am going in blind and on ironman mode.

I've never played before and know very little about what to expect. I will probably lose and have to restart multiple times, but the fun is watching me suck.

From what I read on the Codex review, you pick 8 followers at the start. So to check interest, each person pick 1 follower. I'll wait a few hours and fill in any holes if I need to and start up my game. If(when) I die, next time I'll pick the followers and you all can help create the Capitan.

Pick my followers from this list: http://conquistadorthegame.com/features/followers/

Table of Contents:

Holy Diplomacy
 

drexciya

Augur
Joined
May 3, 2004
Messages
250
Location
Netherlands
ECLogo.png


It's not hentai or Wizardry and for that, I apologize. But I got this game because it looks awesome. I am going in blind and on ironman mode.

I've never played before and know very little about what to expect. I will probably lose and have to restart multiple times, but the fun is watching me suck.

From what I read on the Codex review, you pick 8 followers at the start. So to check interest, each person pick 1 follower. I'll wait a few hours and fill in any holes if I need to and start up my game. If(when) I die, next time I'll pick the followers and you all can help create the Capitan.

Pick my followers from this list: http://conquistadorthegame.com/features/followers/
Bought the game because of the Steam special offer by any chance?

Given that Raul is a scout, let's add a different type of character to the group; Teresa Sanchez. A doctor is always an asset.
 
Unwanted

Kalin

Unwanted
Dumbfuck Zionist Agent
Joined
Sep 29, 2010
Messages
1,868,264
Location
Al Scandiya
Wat, no custom followers? Would have been swell with a Codex crew tearing it up.

Anyhow: votan for pious and racist male!
 

Ackermanus

Educated
Joined
Jul 24, 2013
Messages
55
Location
Playground
Daniel Reyes, because if you are going to the americas you need someone to unearth secrets man was not meant to know.

Bought the game but it blew my computed twice, so I'm looking forward to this. Best of luck.
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
I'm starting now. I'll pick the last person based on whatever I want. Update will come later.
 
Joined
Feb 10, 2007
Messages
7,715
Part I: Holy Diplomacy
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So I start up the game and slap on iron man. Couldn't change the difficulty from normal. Based on what happens later, that's probably for the best.

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Here is our hero, Ramon de Castilla. I'm sure he'll do fine, right? I mean, natives love diplomacy.

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Oh and the fucking Codex review lied, I needed 10 people, not 8. Codex cannot into fact-checking. My beloved crew are the ones with the crosses.

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And here's where we begin. Time to take on the New World!

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wat.

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"The governor is a dick" is apparently the arbitrary reason used to keep you in Hispaniola instead of sweet sweet Mexico.

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So I use my radioactive hoofprints to go to the governor's house.

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So I meet this guy and do the tutorial battle.

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I do okay, but it's an early sign that I have little strategic skill.

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The governor and I continue our pissing match.

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In comes the mudblood who wants el D.

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After I get my ship and shit back, the mudblood asks to join my expedition. I agree, since why not? Who doesn't want an extra mouth to feed on a costly expedition? She has a vagina, it's worth it, I swear.

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I pick up a sidequest on my way out. This one's to find the treasurer's exploring wife.

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Bible thumper wants me to deliver the good book up north. I accept.

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I travel and set up my camps, following the map to the heathen temple.

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Sometimes you get random events in camp. This was one of them.

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I go easy on the guy since we're just starting out. Maybe he just made one bad call.

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We arrive at the heathen temple.

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Nigga, I invested in diplomacy. We go in weapons sheathed!

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Was so worried I'd end up with some kinda native kali ma.

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The way this was phrased, I thought Ramon thought that fishlips was a tribe all herself.

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I'm a bad Christian, but a diplomacy master.

Ending the first update here. Things get worse for Ramon and crew from her on out. I forgot how much of a pain in the ass this kinda thing was so I'm cutting my nearly 2 hours of play into 2 or 3 updates.
 
Joined
Jun 27, 2010
Messages
717
I wonder if you'll regret taking Velasquez as much as I did. The guy's a dickhead and almost always seems to lose morale no matter what happens, usually from having jealousy or whatever that self-absorbed trait is.
 
Joined
Jun 27, 2010
Messages
717
That ain't spoiling anything, it becomes fairly obvious pretty quick. That one trait that I forget the name of is just a big dumb pain in the ass any time someone has it.
 

Kattze

Andhaira
Andhaira
Joined
Jan 10, 2011
Messages
4,722
Location
Babang Ilalim
I thought you would be playing an asshole conquistador. You could have chosen the racist nun.
 

UnknownBro

Savant
Joined
Mar 23, 2012
Messages
373
: Posting in the wrong thread :
 
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