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Let's fuck around Dragon Pass until we make a tribe or perish.

Fafnir

Liturgist
Patron
Joined
Jun 1, 2009
Messages
876
Location
Sweden
Grab the Codex by the pussy
Bump!
 

samsam

Educated
Joined
Dec 14, 2013
Messages
28
Location
Creuzalia
samsam dont be a fag and update more often... god damn my grand mother plays more than you
Easy there boyo, some of us have stuff that need doing!:rpgcodex:
I shall sacrifice tommorow couple of houres of my precious time for Monoclia's advancement in teh world...have some patience for fuck's sake!
 

samsam

Educated
Joined
Dec 14, 2013
Messages
28
Location
Creuzalia
Dragon Pass LP. Year 1331. Year of tricks and tits!

1.
Wilms is quite upset with our status amongst other tribes. "They see us worst then dung beetles!!.




2.
Beneva has sent Enent to tell me that the augurs from Orlanth and Issaries were good. That's very good news, especially coming from Enent. I feel quite uneasy around her, though is a different kind of uneasy like when I am around Orlkarth.



3.
I took a trip today to our workshops. 10 or 12 old people sat around in an old shack and pretended to work, while yelling at each other "Ars longa, ars longa". Immediately I ordered Enastarra to take some measures and recruit new blood for our craftsman workforce. I also appointed her master of Workshops. The old guys didn't seem to happy but didn't dare talk back....


4.
At the sugestion of Enent I decided to build a shrine to Chalana Arroy. Well, that and a visit to the sickplace. The smell, o the smell!


5.
Some thanes from Narri come to complain against us that we disrupted their holy ceremonies. "Blasphemy, Blasphemy" shouts Bragbane and most of the thanes present pick up the shouts. Suddenly the situation becomes explosive and the thanes from Narri clan become white as snow. "Silence, Silence I sayeth!". All eyes turn to Wilms. "Elmas must always subordinate to Orlanth". Leave now!


6.
Vanloth, "an old friend of Janstan" as she recommends herself, points out to me that we could establish a trading relationship with our allies, teh Blue Spruce. I totally agree and give her 5 weaponthanes as protection for teh journey.


7.
By Orlanth's majestic beard! It seems that teh Narri's have declared a feud against us. Well, it was kind of expected I guess. The good news is that they're far south and to get to us they have to pass through our allies, teh Blue Spruce clan. At the sugestion of Janstan we send one of our spies to draw Orlanth pissing on their temple... on their temple! Janstant just couldn't stop laughing for an hour or so! "Pissing on their temple.... on their temple".



8.
Markalor, another "friend of Janstan", comes to me and offers to go to our Hendart allies and open a trade route with them. What is it with these friends of Janstan poping up and offering themselves for journeys abroad? I would ask, but I'm afraid of the answer.


9.
Vanloth comes with good news from the Blue Spruce. She signed a trade agreement with them. While she hands me the papers I carefully study her and see something slightly changed. It is a corner of her mouth twitching. By Chalana's Arroy heavy tits, I will find out what Jansta has plotted this time!


10.
Ohh! I feel the weight of leadership weighing heavy on my broad and muscular shoulders! Another Obligation. I've had it with these requests! The Undaroli can go fuck themselves with their raid! .... Later, when I am a bit chilled, Wilms convince me to send a small force on our behalf, just for the honor of our clan!


11.
We are all out in the fields plucking grapes and drinking wine, while Enastarra, who had a few, has an Idea : "Let's sacrifice to Isarries so he can grant us the Silvertongue blessing!". "What, now?" grunts Orlkarth. "Yes, now, now, while we're happy and free and in love!". We all look at her a bit strange, since it's Enastarra! Or is it? Enastarra I know it's grumpy and smells of cows and bulls and other things and speaks rarely, while this Enastarra is all happy and giggly! "Hmmm, I wonder what...". Janstan grins at me with his 3 missing tooths so inoncently that I know for sure that he's guilty of something! "Alright Enastarra, let's have a sacrifice to Issaries". ....Later, Beneva told me that the "Market" blessing was granted to us.



12.
"They refused to open up a trade route with us sire!" says Markalor while handing me the journey report. "Alright then, be on your way". As he goes to the exit I study his walk! He walk funny, like hiding something,that old bastard. What did he do in Hendart?



13.
"Alarm, alarm!!!! To aaaarms! The nomads are coming to raid you!". We send the Blue Spruce emissary to the kitchens and we prepare ourselves. When the nomads arrive an hour later, we have prepared them a little surprise party!.....Wo won and captured 16 horses, but lost 10 fighters and have 30 wounded. Sad news!


14.
Enastarra sacrificed again to Issaries, whitout my knowledge. The old man that tends to the temple told me that she came in the night, with 3 thralls carrying food and goods, and told him to move aside, " as I have to do my duty towards Issaries and my master. My beautiful, beautiful master! ". I wonder if that's me! ...Anyway, we have received the "Trading" blessing, so I guess I'll forgive her this time!



15.
Orlkarth tells me that these nomads are going to strike us again. They are worshippers of Yelm, the bad emperor. Well then, we'll see that they have a proper receiving party next time they'll "honor" us with their presence!



16.
While I was coming home throught teh wheat fields after a drinking night with Janstan, I was startled to see some small, twisted creatures eating our crop. I brought teh little fuckers back to Janstan and aparently they're trollkin, a distant relatives of trolls. Janstant poured me something do drink (again!) and poured himself some more. After a few glasses, we started shooting arrows at apples placed on the little trollkins in order to prove teh better archer. Needles to say, I won by forfeiting, as Janstant missed all the apples (and saddly hit the trolkins).


17.

It's the Dark season and Orlkarth thought that recruiting some more "wep'nthan's" would be a good ideea with nomads and all our enemies. I totally agreed. Now we have 27 proud "wep'nthan's"!



18.
Enastarra, that stiff bitch, has come to me again to propose a sacrifice! To Barntar and Ernalda! I told her to go and suck, ahem, a grape.


19.
The priestess of Chalana Arroy have come again to our blessed clan! All the men smile sheepishly while women look somewhat displeased. They offer to heal our people in exchange for a favor in the future. With a dry mouth at the sight of their brunette leader I nod my head in approval while staring at her chest. She smiles pleased and moves slowly to the exit, offering us a view to remember in those long cold nights in the dark season. Suddenly, I wonder what methods they use to heal people so quick and I almost wished that I'd be in that sickplace too!


20.
"I am telling you, the men are restless! By Orlanth's big cock, we are wep'nthan's not little girls! We have to go on a raid!!" "Alright you old cunt, go on a raid, but if things go wrong you'll take the blame!" Orlkarth smiles content ("is that magic wine I smell coming from his mouth?") and calls his men. "Let's go raiding boys! Those Narri fuckers won't now that hit them!".....Hours later, they return staggering on their feet, with their heads down. It seems Orlkarth has stopped for a little celebratory drikng right after leaving our tula. Needless to say, they didn't found their way to the Narri tribe, but into a fucking storm! That cunt!



21.
Under teh pretens of explorating our tula, beeing the Storm season, I invite Enent to join me along with a couple of weaponthanes as guards. She accepts with a shy smile on her face and off we go!....Ours later, we loose our guards and it's only me and Enent in an unexplored region of our land. I hold her by the hand under the pretext that it's a dangerous terrain and all and she doesn't seem bothered at all! As I'm about to tell her some things that lied heavily on my hearth lately I step on something and hear a loud CRACK! As I look down I lots of old bones! "Look SamCod, look. Ivory teeth!". Hearing my name coming from her it's such a sweet music to my ears that I ignore the last part. Wait, what? Ivory bones? Oh well. Hurah. We achievede our expedition's goal. Let's get back. Damn!


22.
As I sit with Janstan in our main hall, drinking magic wine and looking thoughtfull at the fire, I ask him as Inocently as possible "How much?".
"How much what Samcod?" "How much did you payed for the potion of womanhood you gave Enastarra and the potion of foolishnes you gave to Orlkarth. You know, the potions you sent your "dear friends" after?" "Well, not too much. Considering the look at Orlkart face when he woke up from his fuckup in the Narry raid. And my, ahem, nightly visits to Enastara!" I keep my composure as best as I can, not knowing if you should laught histerically or yell in rage. "Well you stupid fuck, you're littel joke has cost us a failed raid and some wounded prides!" "True, true! But the look on proud Orlkarth when he came to apologise for his behaviour and you chastised him like a child in front of everybody? 'I'm sorry Samcod, I dunno what got into me head. Dunno really. It must've been teh heat' Hahahah, the heat! Hahahahahhaaa!" "Alright, alright you fucker, stop reminding me of this sad tale" as I try to hide my rising smile in the roundness of the glass. "But why did you need potions to, ahem, visit Enastara at night! You couldn't convince her on your own so you had to do this little trick? This is low even for you, Janstan!" "Oh, but Samcod, you don't know shit! You see, me and Enastarra are visiting each other since quite a while now! That potion of womanhood wasn't my request, it was hers! She just wanted to feel better about herself and make me happier at nights!" "And did she?" "Well, Samcode, where do I begin. Did you even know about this thing where she sits on her knees in front of you while you're lose the trousers and then she puts her mouth on..."
.............................
Later than night, feeling quite hot both from the wine and from Jansntan's stories, I review our situation. We have more cattle, more horses, more sheep, more babies and more goods. And we didn't have to gain them by force. This makes me thinking that maybe all this war thing it's not for me anymore. I would rather settle, with a nice woman, preferably a woman with blond hair, blue eyes and with a soft name. I raise the glass and whisper slowly into it, so no one will hear me: "to Enent! and I drink it with one gulp!
 

samsam

Educated
Joined
Dec 14, 2013
Messages
28
Location
Creuzalia
Sorry brohs, I really wanted to do an update yesterday, but my internet was down,so you see, I'm inocent. I really am!:balance:
 
Unwanted

Kalin

Unwanted
Dumbfuck Zionist Agent
Joined
Sep 29, 2010
Messages
1,868,264
Location
Al Scandiya
Moar updatan! Sacrifice thrall scum for sekhrut mystaries, build shrine to Earth Shaker for maximum profits!
 
Joined
May 22, 2008
Messages
399
Location
Traveling both time and space
I see you keep sacrificing stuff in increments of 10, I think if you sac cattle or goods the increment was 7, so the lowest sacrifice that can have a positive result was 7, and the higher chance of success came with 14 etc. I never offered over 21. Thralls of course count as several goods/cattle, don't remember the exact number.
 

Endemic

Arcane
Joined
Jul 16, 2012
Messages
4,327
I see you keep sacrificing stuff in increments of 10, I think if you sac cattle or goods the increment was 7, so the lowest sacrifice that can have a positive result was 7, and the higher chance of success came with 14 etc.

If you have a noble on the ring with a high Magic stat, they'll provide advice to that effect when you're on the Mysteries screen.
 

Endemic

Arcane
Joined
Jul 16, 2012
Messages
4,327
You there samsam?
 

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