Vapourware Let's Battle with codexian Brothers

[hoverdog]

I've recently bought Battle Brothers. It's a great strategy/tactics/RPG game currently in Early Access. I'd compare it to Mount&Blade, it has the same free roaming, sandboxy feel, even though it features low-scale, turn-based tactics instead of actiony cavalry charges.

What's more, it has the perfect mechanics for a monocled, ironman let's play with codexians as poor, ill-fated mercenary battle brothers. Expect nothing less than a lot of tasteful rape.

Sign up now! Post in this thread with your mercenary's name and, if you so please, his preferred background and role in battle (shieldwall, archer, the-guy-with-the-big-axe, you know) or weapon. Make no mistake - you will die.

*****

CURRENT BAND:

Spoiler

NAME | BACKGROUND | ROLE | KILLS
1) Whitewolf | Militiaman | Spearshield | 4 bandit thugs, 3 werewolves, 1 young orc
2) Gondolin | Bowyer | Archer | 2 bandit thugs, 1 werewolf, 1 young orc
3) Zed | Vagabond | Spearshield | 3 bandit thugs, 1 werewolf, 1 young orc
4) Rahdulan | Farmhand | Zweihander | 1 bandit thug, 2 young orcs
5) Ulminati | Hunter | Archer | 2 bandit thugs, Jaedar
6) Kazgar | Fisherman | Shieldwall | none
7) Davis | Monk | Shieldwall | none

SIGN-UPS:

Spoiler

- Azira | Witchhunter | Crossbowman
- PocketMine | Sellsword | Marksman
- Grimgravy | Raider/Archer | Shieldwall/Marksman
- Belly the Butcher | Butcher | -
- Night Goat | Witch Hunter | Archer
- Sir Continuity | Adventurous Noble/Hedge Knight/Squire | Shieldwall
- Matnjord | - | Pikeman
- TheBiz | Apprentice | -
- Arkham | Cultist | Flailer
- Ludlen | Hunter | Archer
- dextermorgan | - | -
- Ashery | melee background | Pikeman
- Dead Guy | Fisherman | Shieldwall
- Consul | - | Pikeman
- Meat Slicer | Swordsman | Shieldwall

GRAVEYARD:

Spoiler

NAME | BACKGROUND | CAUSE OF DEATH | KILLS
1) Roxowoski | Vagabond | hacked by a bandit marksman defending his prized bow | none
2) Helly | Savage | turned into a pincushion by a bandit marksman | none
3) Meat Slapper | Butcher | swiftly killed by werewolf | 7 bandit thugs
4) Nevill | Militiaman | fell valiantly defending against two werewolves | 2 bandit thugs, 1 bandit marksman
5) Obadiah | Cultist | pummeled by a werewolf | none
6) Andnjord | Militiaman | killed by a werewolf's last throes | 1 bandit marksman
7) Jerkajerka | Lumberjack | pulverized by a werewolf | 6 bandit thugs
8) Zdzisiu | Farmhand | killed by a werewolf due to hoverdog's carelessness | 4 bandit thugs, 1 werewolf
9) Jaedar | Farmhand | killed by an orc Ulminati's shot in the back | 2 bandit thugs

 

[Suicidal Meat Slapper]

I like dying. Sign me up.

Merc Name: Meat Slapper
Background: Butcher
Weapon: Zweihänder

 

[Darth Roxor]

Hey cool, I can be a ratcatcher or a graverobber, this is just like WFRP

Name: Roxorowski
Background: Hobo Vagabond
Role: Arrer boyz

 

[hoverdog]

I like dying. Sign me up.

Merc Name: Meat Slapper
Background: Butcher
Weapon: Zweihänder

Appropriate username


the game will commence as soon as there are six iron sponges signed up.

 

[Andnjord]

Sign me up for duty sire!

Name: Andnjord
Background: Something fashionable and pampered
Weapon: Something sharp and classy like a stiletto or a rapier

Failing that (don't have the game, so I don't really know what's available) whatever frontline meatshield you might require.

For Codexia!

 

[Nevill]

Name: Nevill
Class/Background/Role: Shieldmaiden, emphasis on Shield.
No weapon preference, I'm a pacifist.

 

[Whitewolf]

Name: Whitewolf
Background: Hedge Knight or Sellsword
Weapon: Sword and shield

 

[Helly]

Name: Helly
Background: Cultist or flaggelant
Weapon: Flails

It was a matter of time before someone decided to lp this gem on the codex. Thanks brodawg!

 

[Gondolin]

Reporting for reserve duty. No preferred background or role. I'm going to die anyway.

 

[Ninjerk]

Name: Whitewolf
Background: Hedge Knight or Sellsword
Weapon: Sword and shield

Munchkin


Name: Jerkajerka
BG: Lumberjack
Weapon: Greatsword, M. Cleaver, The big fukkin axe (whichever you acquire/prefer)

 

[hoverdog]

1. PROLOGUE
A short first update to get things running.




Our mercenary band is given a proper name. I went with Normal difficulty because I'm a pussy and you're all gonna die anyways.




Let's roll. This is the world map view. It's quite similar to Mount&Blade's: it's real time with day&night cycles, objects of interest such as cities and lairs, and roaming cavarans, patrols, and enemy parties. It's also much prettier in glorious 2D.
We start with shit mercs with shit equipment, but also 1500 jewgolds, so the first thing to do is to visit the nearby town.



Town screen. You're able to do three things here: hire new meatshields, buy and sell stuffies and finally receive missions.
We recruit two additional sponges and buy some much needed equipment.
Unfortunately, the three mercs we start with are random, and we don't have enough money to get those more advanced backgrounds, so your choices are not fulfilled. Not for the first meatshields, anyways.

Here is what we end up with:



Andjord is a militiaman (a decent background) who's a founding member of the team (a unique trait only for the starting trio) an optimist. That's... well, we will see how long he's going to remain one. He's armed with a spear and a shield and has poor armor.



Nevill's another militiaman, without any traits other than being a founding member. He's got an axe and a shield and his armor is a bit better than Andnjord's.



Whitewolf's also a militiaman. Yes, the game rolled three militiamen out of possible 40+ backgrounds. He's cocky and athletic, with a spear, shield, and even a decent armor.



Meatslapper is a butcher. I've invested a large sum of money to buy him a greatsword, which is ubercool. His armor is bad, though (that's a recurring theme).



Roxorowski's a bumvagabond. I've bought him a bow and then realized that there aren't any arrows to buy for him So he gets a cleaver inherited from Meat Slapper and a prayer he'll find some soon.



Finally, Helly is a savage with a flail. Very fitting.



Having outfitted ourselves, we receive the starting quest.





tl;dr: go to nearby hideout, kill everyone.



and go they did.





Entering the battlemap.
The basic combat mechanics are pretty simple.
A character has a number of action points (9 for humans) which he can spend on moving and using abilities. Abilities depend on his equipment - every weapon type has its own 2-3 attacks, shields have some too. Attacks with one-handed weapons cost 4 APs, with two-handed 6 APs. Every action costs fatigue, which slowly regenerates per turn.
Armor works as a protective layer of 'additional' HPs. Only after it's destroyed, attacks can lower health (although it is full possible a single powerful attack pierces armor and kills outright). Heavier armor grants more protection, but also lowers maximum fatigue and initiative.
Order in which characters move is based on their initiative.
Enough explaining, let's do this shit.
This battle will be described in detail, future ones probably won't get the same treatment, this takes a lot of time, after all.



Roxorowski moves first and hides behind the bush. He spots a marksman. He wants his bow and arrows.



Andnjord moves onto a hill and uses Spearwall. It's a great defensive ability that automatically attacks an opponent trying to close on, a successful hit drives him back.



Whitewolf moves to an adjacent hex and also uses Spearwall.



A thug charges forward.




Which gets him in Nevill's range. Nevill attacks and delivers a powerful blow!



The remaining bandits advance. They smartly avoid our spearmen.



Roxorowski runs ahead. He really wants that bow.



Helly gets into melee but misses.



Meat Slapper moves in between two of his friends and uses Split, a powerful attack that can hit an adjacent enemy and one standing directly behind him.



His devastating blow slaps the meat out of two bandits!



Roxorowski charges the archer. His prize is so close...



He hits but does little damage.



Marksman's counterattack swiftly kills poor Roxorowski and his dreams of becoming an archer. Darth Roxor becomes the first to fall.




Nevill attacks but misses.



Meat Slapper gets his armor punctured but delivers another finishing blow.



The two spearmen abandon their position to avenge poor Roxorowski.



The remaining thug is cornered by Codexians.



While Andnjord and Whitewolf manage to injure the marksman heavily.



Nevill loses his cap after a blow to the head but lives. Meanwhile, Andnjord finally kills the enemy archer.




After some more fighting, Nevill finally gets the finishing strike. The bandits are done for.



Meat Slapper is clearly the MVP of the fight. Three kills gave him a promotion to another level. We also get to pay our final respects to Roxorowski.



And our loot. A bow! Arrows! Shame we don't have anyone willing to use it

 

[Suicidal Meat Slapper]

RIP in pieces Roxorowski. Much meat shall be slapped in your memory.

(This is looking good. Can't wait for the next update.)

 

[Ninjerk]

RIP Darth Roxor

 

[Whitewolf]

Remember the fallen RIP Roxor

 

[Andnjord]

So, I didn't get my noble background but in exchange got a magnificent mustache and a founding father title. I can live with that. I shall wait for my well deserved retirement (hey, am I not an optimist?) to have my Noble duelist then.

RIP Roxor, your death has been avenged by yours truly


This is gonna be good, MOAR!

 

[Helly]

RIP in peace Roxor

 

[Darth Roxor]

Well, that's just my luck.

I remember I was also first to die in the IWD and TftD LPs. Possibly ToEE as well.

 

[Helly]

I do like how I'm the most useless and the most expensive of us all

 

[Suicidal Meat Slapper]

I do like how I'm the most useless and the most expensive of us all

So, would that make you the jew, wetback, or wop of the group?

 

[Jaedar]

I'd like to be a graverobber. Assign me to whatever role you find most useful.

 

[Azira]

You can have "witchhunter" as your background?! Aw yiss!!

I want that. Preferably with a snazzy crossbow, but I'll take any available weapon really.

 

[Helly]

I do like how I'm the most useless and the most expensive of us all

So, would that make you the jew, wetback, or wop of the group?

It makes me the SJW of the group and you're all contributing to my patreon

 

[Ninjerk]

Update already

 

[hoverdog]

needs moar meatshields. I'm talking TFTD levels of fresh, innocent virgins ready to get slaughtered.

 

[Ninjerk]

I'll accept being a riposte bot so long as I'm allowed a greatsword in my inventory, just in case.