Where did the 'gay elf' stereotype come from anyway? Tolkien elves were incredibly powerful in the books, being taller, stronger and capable of living forever...then somehow elves became gay.
I always thought it came from the idea that the gist of roleplayers have a fixation on "manly" traits and "no-nonsense" storylines, so they love dwarves; that's the general attitude around here (where I live), especially given how heavily bearded your typical RPer seems to always be.
And since dwarves have an enmity with the elves and many players consider playing the stereotypical Urist McDwarf to be pinnacle of roleplaying (because of how blunt and no-nonsense he is, plus it's fairly easy to sound like an angry Scotsman all the time), they also often focus on roleplaying out the "gritty" elements of most settings like casual racial prejudice remarks (knife-ears etc.)
So basically, dwarves are more heavy metal than elves in most mainstream media and associated with extremely manly activities, so they're manlier than elves.
Many players whose character of choice is something like a Male Human Fighter (which is a fine choice because it grounds your character in a reality and makes everything easier to relate to their person) will feel a similar way, because they often exhibit similar traits, though not nearly as egregiously.
Elves also often are depicted with feminine appearances.
Tolkienian Elves have a brave standing army and are excellent weaponsmiths; that doesn't show much in the lore of most roleplaying game settings.
Elven affinity for spellcasting (ergo, colourful dresses) and "cowardly" tactics like archery in most games makes it also much easier to focus on the elements mentioned above.
You could focus on truly feral and dangerous elves like the Warcraft Night Elves, but even Night Elves had become horribly lukewarm compared to their "giving the legendary orc warchief a massive, impressed boner" moment that defined them in Warcraft 3.