Welcome to Pandora (Rimworld)

[Pandorym]

Picture this: you're peacefully soaring along through the infinite cosmos, at one with the universe and all the stars within it.

Then a massive explosion detonates the engines (initiated by some hapless idiot) and you're sent screaming down onto some backwater planet on the edge of known space.

You barely manage to pull yourself and two others from the wreckage, and now you're stranded here - lost, injured, with no means of communication. This sucks right?

Welp! Welcome to Rimworld!

It only gets worse from here.

Now, I assume those of you who see this are not only familiar with Rimworld to some extent - you've no doubt also read Grimwulf's glorious LP of the Kodex Kommunisitic Kolony. If you haven't HOLY SHIT GO READ IT NOW.

Unlike the mighty Grimwulf's LP though, we're not immersing ourselves in glorious communism, no. WE'RE GOING BORDERLANDS AND MAD MAX UP IN HERE!

I have the 1.0 version of the game (full release) as well as a list of mods we'll be using.

First off, standard three colonist beginning.

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Next, we choose our Storyteller and difficulty. We're going with Randy Random, on Rough, Commitment Mode for permadeath.

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I've generated a world using the seed 'Pandora'.

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We'll be starting here, in a small spot on the coast of the Greater Trout Bay, deep in the midst of the green hell that makes up this world's tropical rainforest. There will be snakes, vicious creatures, and disease abounding!

Finally, character creation. I'm using a mod called 'Prepare Carefully' so any and all starting colonists can be created to exact specifications. However! Any colonists that come in later are totally up to the whims of Randy, and he's a motherfucker, so I can't control that.

This is your basic screen below.

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And then Prepare Carefully.

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Every colonists has a name, nickname, various traits, and a set of skills they possess, along with a myriad of backstories that can impose bonuses or restrictions on certain things. Colonists will also interact socially, meaning they'll fight, fuck, hate, love, annoy, and occasionally beat the shit out of each other.

I've got a titanic amount of hours in this fantastic game, so I'm fairly certain we won't end up dead for a while at least. You never know though.

That should be it. Climb aboard the Hell Train without a paddle, grab a gun and get ready for mayhem! First two recruits may state any and all preferences for their characters.

Mod list will come later, but a number of common ones are installed: Jecrell's Cthulhu mods, VGP Vegetable Garden, Hospitality, Locks, and other QoL alterations.

 

[pizza_microwave]

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The most oppressed-stoner-incel video-gamer finally has a chance to redeem himself by showing the rest of the team what he learned from all the awesome video-games he played through his life! Since he was a kid he was bullied by women due to his nauseous looking monkey face. Later in his teens to cope with his problems at home (his father Wu-Tang left him when he was still in his mother's Shaquuela womb) he started playing even more video-games and smoking smokeleaf.

Once he got his degree in programming he started developing shitty turn-based combat games that were never popular, which sunk him even more in his depression and smokeleaf addiction. Since he was every day shitposting on pseudo-intellectual forums, even moderating some of them, he read alot of wikipedia pages to show the rest of the users that he was smart and knowledgeable of the debates he was fighting.

EDIT: Would you kindly add the vampire mod to your playthrough? From what I gathered it should not conflict with the Cthulhu one since it's made by the same guy.

 

[Tovias]

Name: Billy "Bob" Billy
Biological age: 32
Childhood: Country Child
Adulthood: Self-employed Bounty Hunter
Traits: Trigger-happy, Abrasive and Tough
Shooting 8 two flames
Melee 4 one flame
Construction 5
Mining 3
Cooking 2
Plants 0
Animals 3
Crafting 4 one flame
Artistic 0
Medical 3
Social 3
Intellectual 1

 

[a bear named spigot]

please beat the shit out of me severely by inserting me as future nonspecific jerkoff

good luck, men

 

[Pandorym]

I expect anyone and everyone to enlist as well! Join our horrid, glorious ranks!

 

[baud]

I'd like to volunteer my sorry ass for this ride! A most horrible end awaits me, most likely at the hand of a fellow colonist

 

[Pandorym]

Here's the mod list:

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Core
HugsLib
Giddy-Up! Core
Giddy-Up! Caravan
Mod Manager
JecsTools
Allow Tool
Humanoid Alien Races
Call of Cthulhu - Cults
Call of Cthulhu - Cosmic Horrors
Rim of Madness - Vampires
Rim of Madness - Werewolves
ResearchPal
Color Coded Mood Bar
Expanded Prosthetics and Organ Engineering (EPOE)
VGP Vegetable Garden
VGP Garden Drinks
Nature's Pretty Sweet
Mad Skills
A Dog Said...
RimFridge
Sparkling Worlds - Core
A Rimworld of Magic
Misc. Robots
P-Music
Pick Up and Haul
Genetic Rim
More Faction Interaction
Doors Expanded
Hand Me That Brick Lite
Animal Tab
Fluffy Breakdowns
Share The Load
Replace Stuff
Snap Out
More Trait Slots
Relations Tab
Hospitality
Pharmacist
Trading Spot
Visible Pants
Prosthetic Icons
Just Ignore Me Passing
Greenworld
Xeva's Rimhair
Simple Sidearms
Interaction Bubbles
Realistic Rooms
More Trade Ships
EdB Prepare Carefully
Greyer Morals
RT Fuse
Rimsenal - Rimhair
Prisoner Harvesting
Steel Extraction
Bulk Components
Long Range Transport Pods
Improved Vanometric Power Cells
Stack XXL
Quality Builder
Damage Indicators
Locks

I normally have Avoid Friendly Fire and A Rimworld of Magic active as well, but I decided to remove them for this LP.

 

[Pandorym]

Now my RP skillz aren't terribly stronk, so I can either RP out the interactions or summarize them day by day, whichever is preferred. However! If y'all want interactions, I strongly suggest providing character pictures to make it easier.

 

[pizza_microwave]

Nice, we got vampires going on. Make sure my pawn becomes a vampire as soon as possible.

 

[Storyfag]

Reporting for jungle hell.

Can you get a Predator mod?

 

[Pandorym]

Reporting for jungle hell.

Can you get a Predator mod?

I'll take a look - not sure if one exists currently.

 

[Pandorym]

Here's our lineup.

We "Wuz" Kangs

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Billy "Bob" Billy

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And my own character, Arlen "Arl" Hall

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Game will start up soon - probably sometime tonight or tomorrow.

Current Waiting List:

• a bear named spigot
• baud
• Storyfag
• Tindrli

Any colonists recruited (and trust me, we WILL be recruiting) will join the ranks in list order. Any colonists who die are free to rejoin the list at the bottom.

 

[tindrli]

Tndrli reporting for duty

 

[Pandorym]

6th of Spring, 5500

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Ow... son of a jilly girl that hurts.

You ain't kiddin'. Muh head. Can't see straight.

AGHHHHHH! My ARM! MY SPINE!

Would ya shuddup already? Ain't nothin' wrong with ya - just a little bruise on yer knee. Yer lucky to be alive after that crash.

Don't you talk shit at me you asshat, still hurts like hell. Who are you people anyway?

They call me We Wuz Kangs, least that's the name mah momma gave me. Y'all can call me Wuz.

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Ain't that the dumbest name I've ever heard. Whatever. M'name's Billy Bob, but I jess go by Bob. Only my pa calls me Billy, an' I shot him fer it.

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You SHOT your FATHER because he called you by your NAME?! The HELL is wrong with you?!

Calm down boy, yer more nervous than a jackrabbit with a huntin' hound on its hind end. Introductions first.

Fine! Fine. I'm Arlen. Arlen Hall. Mostly everyone usually just knows me as Arl though.

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Arl? You mean that tool for piercing holes in leather and such?

*sigh* No, that's an awl. *mumbles to himself* Moron.

Look folks, I ain't got time for yer shit. We need to figure out what to do and fast. I'm taking over this operation - anyone who argues gets to meet the end of this rifle. *cocks gun*

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Space Gods! When did you pick that up?! Alright alright alright, okay. Just... don't get out of hand. You're in charge.

Wha? The FUCK he is! I'm way smarter than this John Wayne looking asshole!

You go right ahead and quarrel with the guy who looks like he shoots bears for a living. I'll be over here.

*cold glare with gun held up*

Maaaaaaan... the fuck ever. Fine. Ain't gotta be no raw teenage bitch about it.

Now since that's settled, both of you go arm yerselves. Arl, ya don't look like you can shoot for shit, ya take that knife. Wuz, ya go grab that handgun and try not to shoot yerself in the ass, ya monkey-faced fat fuck.

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Okay, we're geared up. Oh look! There's the soda and that weird bottle I traded for! All that weird armless old man in the strange robe wanted was that suit of flak armor and the plasteel helmet onboard!

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You traded WHAT?! Man, that shit might've kept my ass alive, and you got fucking SODA?! It better be some damn good soda.

...I don't like the look o' that bottle, no siree. Don't know what's in it, but we probably shouldn't touch it. Jes'... keep away from it fer now.

Whatever. I traded for it, it's mine anyway. Besides, shouldn't we be... I don't know... building a shelter or hunting for food or something?

Do I LOOK like some kinda hunter? I ain't going out there and shooting up wolves and shit! They'd kill my ass! I ain't putting together no damn hut either - too smart for that shit. Naw, I got a better idea. When we was landing, I saw some kind of building off to the northwest.

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Fuk building dat shit, let's just go crack a wall down like a wet pussy and go on up in! Probably some badass stuff to loot in them ruins too!

I don't know... that building legit makes me nervous.

Everything makes ya nervous, Arl. But Wuz has a point - what should we do? We got enough supplies to throw together a barracks and maybe some storage, but it'll be tight, and my dog Torque don't like sharing space with strangers. On the other hand, it might be damn dangerous in there too.

There's the matter of the bottle as well. How do we handle it?


KEY CHOICES!

What do we do for shelter?

• Build one using the 300 or so wood we have.
• Break into the ancient building. Save resources. And what could go wrong?

And the Mysterious Bottle?

• Have someone drink it. If so, who?
• Leave it alone for now. Stick it in storage, never know when it might be useful.
• Sell it at the first opportunity.
  
• Fuck that thing! Let it rot alone in the forest.

 

[pizza_microwave]

Brilliant dialogue, can't wait to see where this will lead to.
1) In the spirit of my pawn, I suggest breaking into the ruins: Wuz is good enough of a shooter thanks to his video-game experiences. Worst case scenario we retreat if the danger is too high and build a wooden shelter.

2)Leave it alone for now.

 

[Tovias]

Now this is a Bob I can get behind
1) Bob knows better than to use some foreign made house, nothing beats your own hand crafted cabin
2) If Bob has learned something from the Uncle Cletus moonshine is that not all bottles are worth a sip, although that doesn't mean there is no fool out there willing to cash in for some snakeoil. Sell that stuff.

 

[Pandorym]

Brilliant dialogue, can't wait to see where this will lead to.
1) In the spirit of my pawn, I suggest breaking into the ruins: Wuz is good enough of a shooter thanks to his video-game experiences. Worst case scenario we retreat if the danger is too high and build a wooden shelter.

2)Leave it alone for now.

Now this is a Bob I can get behind
1) Bob knows better than to use some foreign made house, nothing beats your own hand crafted cabin
2) If Bob has learned something from the Uncle Cletus moonshine is that not all bottles are worth a sip, although that doesn't mean there is no fool out there willing to cash in for some snakeoil. Sell that stuff.

Duly noted. Anyone watching (i.e. not already a player with their own vote) is also free to chime in - your votes will make up Arlen's decision on various matters.

 

[Pandorym]

Ah know better than to use some foreign made house - nothing beats yer own handcrafted cabin. As for that bottle, if'n I learned anything at all from my Uncle Cletus' moonshine, not all bottles are worth a sip. Although that don't mean there ain't no fool out there willing to cash in for some snake oil. Let's sell the damn thing first chance we get.

Fuck dat noise, I'm WAY too good of a shooter from my video game experiences to turn down a free house without having to build it. Whatever's in there can just come get some. As for dat bottle, leave that shit alone. Jam it somewhere into storage though - never know when it might save yo ass.

I guess it comes down to me to be the tiebreaker for both decisions. Concerning the bottle, I think we should-

*gun cocks loudly* Sell it.

Sure! Right! Sell it, obviously. *nervously sweating*

And dem ruins? Come on now, don't be a busta.

I mean, I'd really rather not waste the resources if we don't have to. Besides, this thing looks millennia old. Can't be much in it, certainly not anything still alive.

Well... alright. Take this chunk of rock and bash it open. You'd better be right. If I die, I'll kill you myself.

Alright, here goes. *starts knocking down the crumbling ancient wall*

*guns at the ready*

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OH FUCK WHAT ARE THOSE?!

Ancient mechanoids bruh! Five of those fuckers too! Let's get the hell out of here!

*tries to run away but is immediately chased down by a scyther that slashes his torso open and sends him sprawling into the water below* AGGGGGHHHHHH! I'M HIT! FUCK IT HURTS! AHHHHHH! *gurgle gurgle*

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*manages to get two shots off at a scyther before a second one comes rushing towards him like a whirlwind of death, slashing his flesh to ribbons and carving out his left eye* MY FUKKIN EYE! AHHH! *chokes heavily on own blood as he falls into the water, washing down the coppery fluid with a drowning flood*

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HANG ON! I'm coming to get ya! *tries to go in and rescue Wuz but gets nailed by a charge lance shot, followed by being flanked simultaneously by two scythers* Alright, COME ON! I'LL TAKE ALL YOU ROTTEN VARMINTS- AGH!

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The threats neutralized, the mechanoids wander freely around the new opening to the facility, leaving the trio horribly wounded and in dire straits.

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We're... *coughs up blood* we're right fucked, ain't we?

*fading fast* I knew... I knew that was a bad idea...

It ain't... it ain't over yet. Some... some folks say a 'man in black' will show up if yer in dire straits. He'll come save ya.

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Unfortunately, for some reason (perhaps a bug?) no Man in Black ever actually arrived. No help came.

Ha ha.... bro... *HURK* ain't... ain't no one coming for us. We're good as dead. Just let it... let it be known that I... I wuz a Kang. *falls silent*

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Wuz...? Wuz? D-Damn it... Damn it all...

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Nn... Wuz...? Bob...?

Fffffuck. It's just me now. Is this how it ends? Bleeding out in cold, muddy water from a bunch of fucking mecho monsters?

A few hours later...

*writhing on the ground in severe agony, slowly paling as drip by drip of his life bleeds away from him* JUST KILL ME YOU FUCKERS! DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!

A few more hours later...

Please... not like this... not... like... this...

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Well... this has to be the shortest LP ever seen. I wasn't expecting such an overwhelming force of mechanoids, not to mention how fast their assault was - I didn't even get a chance to run away.

This is a bunch of bullshit. We barely even got started!

Well, hellfire. What should I do now? Start over with the same crew? Enlist a new one?

 

[Storyfag]

Images in part 1 do not work. Start again. Same crew.

 

[baud]

The mechanoids hiding in a building that the colonists try to enter reminds me of the first season of Grimwulf's LP

And I echo the comment above, just start over

 

[Tovias]

Well I'd be damn, that was quick. I'd say restart with the same crew.

 

[pizza_microwave]

I can't believe my intellectual african-american pawn died so fast, he had so much potential. Let's start over and hope we won't get dabbed on again.

 

[Pandorym]

Alright men, we'll try again. Few rules changes this go-around however.

• I'm dialing this fucker Randy Random backwards from Rough to Medium. Might give us a bit more of a fighting chance. Especially with this sub-optimal team.

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• We're using Commitment Mode as before. That's permadeath - you can only save upon exiting the game, so whatever happens, happens. No reloads, no saving throws. Nothing.

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• We're changing location as well, from a tropical jungle nightmare to a rainy, overcast redwood boreal forest where the average temperature is a lovely 15F. Fucking cold.

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• We'll be using three new mods as well: Camera+, Facial Stuff, and RimFace For Facial Stuff.

And that's it. I'll be using the same colonists from before, though I'll make some small changes to the third character: namely instead of adding myself as one, I'll be bringing in the non-specific jerkoff belonging to a bear named spigot. Since he didn't specify any particular traits or skills, I'm gonna pick 'em at random. See bio sheet below for your character.

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Stay tuned! First update will be coming soon! Let's try this shit again, hope we don't die right off the bat this time.

 

[pizza_microwave]

Godspeed!

 

[a bear named spigot]

don't worry chumps, renowned space doctor Spigot is here to keep you in good health.

also re char sheet: the only trait I was going to mention was that Spigot chooses to have optimism at all times, so it worked out fine