Completed Gott Strafe England: Let's play Steam And Iron

[Andnjord]

Trannies and Gentlemen, welcome to Steam And Iron, a simulation of early 20th century naval warfare where you command the massive Castles of Steel of the time, train them, organize them and watch them blow up spectacularly in glorious 2D graphics in a turn based and excruciatingly detailed engine where everything from gun caliber, crew training, wind direction, target profile and more is taken into account. This game is so Grognard that once you've ordered it online (on a Yahoo page) you have to wait for someone to actually email you your activation code.


THE NAVY LIST

Spoiler

Grossadmiral Andnjord

The leader, the boss. Any questions?


6. Linienschiffdivision

Konteradmiral Azira

Current Command: Leader of the 6. Linienschiffdivision aboard his flag-ship SMS Kaiser

Previous Command: Armored Cruiser Squadron (ACS)

Notable Action: Led the ACS into the Battle of the Broad Torpedoes where all his capital ships took a torpedo. Managed to bring everyone home.

Comment: Alcoholic and 'war hero'.

Kapitan Comte

Current Command: SMS Kaiser

Notable Action: -

Comment:

Kapitan Dayallu

Current Command: SMS Konig Albert

Notable Action: -

Comment: Needs to demonstrate more enthusiasm for the war and belief in the Ultimate Victory



Kapitan Baud

Current Command: SMS Prinzregent Luitpold

Notable Action: -

Comment: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn



I. Aufklarungsgruppe (BCS)



Konteradmiral Kalin

Current Command: SMS Seydlitz

Notable Action: 'Led' the BCS in the Battle of the Broad Fourteens. Demonstrated exquisite gunnery.
Courageously took charge of the Pre-Dread Squadron at the battle of Helgoland Bight.

Comment: WILL SOMEONE GIVE HIM HIS BONUS ALREADY?



Kapitan Zool

Current Command: SMS Derfflinger

Notable Action: Took part in the Battle of the Broad Fourteens aboard the von der Tann

Comment: Cautious and meticulous. Is known to never leave the armored conning tower during day-light.



Kapitan Grimgravvy

Current Command: SMS Moltke

Notable Action: Took part in the Battle of the Broad Fourteens. Demonstrated 'exquisite' gunnery

Comment: Calculating and cold. Might not be human but rather a cyber hive-mind. Investigation still in process.

For those familiar with Rule The Waves (like me thanks to Dayyālu Russian LP) this is its predecessor. They share the same combat engine but whereas in RTW you were an Admiral leading his navy through 25 years of history and designed and built your fleet, picked fights against other nations and fought it out in RNG generated battle where you had little to no influence on your force composition, the focus of SAI is on the operational side of things. Once you've picked a campaign (more on that later) you have a fixed navy, there is only one theater of operation and each turn you'll manually send out your selected squadrons on operations and missions you've picked yourself and you'll have to lead your ships out from port, towards their objective and (hopefully) back home. This leads to the great difference that you just won't know what's at sea out there, if you're outnumbered or if that little cruiser squadron is all alone or followed by the whole of the enemy fleet.

There are several campaigns to chose from. The 1904-1905 Russo-Japanese war (Tsushima and T-crossing oh my), the Baltic campaign of 1914-1918 (the Russo-German naval scrap that no one cared for and whose most important result was the SMS Magdenburg running herself aground all of its own accord and revealing to the Russian and the British the German cipher codes) and the main event: the conflict in the North Sea from 1914-1918 across which the two most powerful navies of the world stared at each other for the duration of the conflict and during which all naval afficionadoes of the world where deprived of a proper apocalyptic battle (although Jutland comes quite close to it and is quite a fun battle to read about). This is the campaign we will play.

As should be obvious from the tittle, we will play as Germany. The Royal Navy is so superior to its opponent in this time period that all it needs to do is to keep the status quo, not be caught with its pants down and keep the Kriegsmarine bottle up in its ports, major victories are optional and not necessary. On the other hand, being the underdogs, the Germans need to pull the proverbial pants down, kick the Brits in the balls hard, scurry back to port until they have bled the Royal Navy enough to equalize the odds for the famous Der Tag, the cataclysmic battle where they will destroy the hated enemy and wrest the trident of the seas away from its bloodied hands. Much better, isn't it?

Spoiler

Now, we have a few options to chose from before we get stared. As befits a Codex LP, I'll be playing on hard but there are several variations of the North Sea campaign available. The first one is the normal campaign, starting in 1914. From the In-game description:

Spoiler

This is the full North Sea campaign 1914-1918 between Germany and Great Britain. With over 900 ships and submarines and more than 200 weekly turns, this campaign portrays this truly epic struggle between the largest dreadnought battlefleets the world as ever seen, while not neglecting the importance of mines and submarine warfare.

As the German side, you must whittle away at British strength by using mines and submarines and try to bring isolated parts of the British fleet to action until you can face the Grand Fleet on equal terms. Attacking British shipping along the East Coast or layng mines in the shipping lanes along the coast can earn you points for sunk merchant ships, as well as provoke a reaction by parts of the Royal Navy. Your best chance is probably in 1915 as your new dreadnoughts of the König class become operational while the superdreadnoughts of the great British building programme are still on the stocks. Do not waste this chance through timidity and weak leadership as the Germans did historically. From 1916 on you will be massively outproduced by the British. A problem is that the off and on of the submarine campaign against merchant shipping will heavily influence the number of submarines available to support fleet operations. The number of available submarines will peak in 1916 during the pause in unrestricted submarine warfare, and the arrival of minelaying submarines in spring 1916 will enable you to create interesting traps for the British.

As the British, you must keep the German navy bottled up and thwart raids on the East Coast while avoiding being beaten in detail. Use submarines to warn of and take a toll of German sorties. Offensive mining in the German Bight can also be a useful tool. From 1916 on your 15 inch gunned ships will arrive in numbers the Germans can never hope to match. With the arrival of the American 6th Battle Squadron in late 1917 the margin will be too large for the Germans, and inactivity in port will make the High Seas Fleet rot from within and eventually succumb to spreading revolutionary propaganda.

To make things more interesting in 1918, the ships of the Mackensen class are included in the German OOB, and will arrive in 1918. See designer notes for more notes on the OOB.
-----------------------
Victory condition: 2,000,000 VP more than the enemy.
You must also have more dreadnoughts (BB and BC) operational than the enemy to win.

You must keep half as many dreadnoughts (BB and BC) operational as the enemy at all times or suffer a penalty

Next, the campaign starting in 1916. This is a little before the Battle of Jutland, and I feel that this was too late for the Germans to succeed, their best chance had been in 1915 before the RN's construction program really kicked into high gear and started popping out Capital Ships like no tomorrow. Sadly this is a short one as it ends in 1917

Spoiler

This campaign covers the time from Scheer taking command of the High Seas Fleet until the resumption of unrestricted submarine warfare in february 1917, thus encompassing the time of the battle of Jutland.

As in the full North Sea Campaign, when playing as the Germans you must try to whittle away at British strength by using mines and submarines and try to bring isolated parts of the British fleet to action until you can face the Grand Fleet on equal terms. Attacking British shipping along the East Coast or layng mines in the shipping lanes along the coast can earn you points for sunk merchant ships, as well as provoke a reaction by parts of the Royal Navy. In 1916 you are already being outproduced by the British, and their 15 inch gunned superdreadnoughts are entering service in increasing numbers, so time is of essence. The number of submarines available to support fleet operations will peak in 1916 during the pause in unrestricted submarine warfare, and the arrival of minelaying submarines in spring 1916 will enable you to create interesting traps for the British.

A variation on this we have the Germany Stronger 1916 Campaign, same deal but with some additional ships for us :

Spoiler

This campaign starts in 1916 and ends in 1918. It assumes that the Germans were willing and able to put more resources into the navy. This gives a more balanced campaign and also allows the player to try out some ships that never were. Changes from the historical OOB are:

* It is assumed that the Germans have finished the Greek battleship Salamis, building in Germany, equipping her with German 14 inch guns. Being classically minded, the Germans will have kept the original name.
* All four units of the Baden class will enter service in 1916.
* The Hindenburg will enter service in 1916.
* The Mackensen class will enter service in 1917.
* The Ersatz Yorck class will enter service in 1918.
* The Flottenkreuzer (FK1a concept) will be completed in 1916 onwards (the German answer to the British C-class).
* Some other late war German light units will enter service earlier.
* As some compensation for the British, the Hood and Rodney (the second unit of the Hood-class) will enter service in 1918.

Finally, we have a user-made variation of the previous one, Arena of Steel 1916-1919. In this one every conceivable and imaged ship designed at the time will be present, ensuring maximum dakka on both sides:

Spoiler

The basis for this campaign is the Germany Stronger 1916 North Sea campaign provided in the stock game. This campaign starts in 1916 and ends in November 1919. The basic OOB for each side is historical, projected out to late 1919. However, at the start of the game, each side will have a large variety of optional reinforcements (for a **small** cost in VPs) that can augment their OOB's considerably. Just about every dreadnought, real or projected, on either side could show up. An expanded assortment of cruisers is also available, including "D", "E", and Hawkins class CA's for the British, and a projected Panzerkreuzer (10 x 8", 31 knots) CA design as well as the Flottenkruezers and more Coln(ii) class light cruisers for the Germans. Further reinforcement options will occur at roughly 6 month intervals until Spring 1918.

Geeet voting mah boys!

Now personally I'd be more inclined towards the first and last option, but if the Codex desires to see me raped in the normal 1916 scenario or have the boring Germany Stronger 1916 (why go halfway if you can go balls deep?) I'll comply with the Codex's wishes.

I'll explain more about the systems and ship types as we get started, as well as posting our OOB once I know what campaign we will play. In the meantime, feel free to claim ships or squadrons, first come first served, but you'll have to post the exact ship and class-name until I post our OOB. This won't allow you to do anything but you'll have the warm fuzy feeling of knowing that it was your ship (and you at the helm) that blew up in front of everyone because of me miss-handling your ship your heroic actions.

A note about myself: while I have extensive experience of RTW, I have zero experience of SAI. So expect me to blunder our fleet into horrible situations at first, but if I manage to get a favorable engagement I'll make sure all the baddies will join Davy Jones Locker at the bottom of the sea.

And here are a couple of screens from my RTW campaigns to wet your appetite:

Spoiler

'I regret my choice of life as a RN captain...'

'Cry havoc, let loose the hounds of war'

Spectacular action shot of a ship blowing up

 

[abnaxus]

I like how that fist is mostly hitting Scotland.

 

[Andnjord]

I like how that fist is mostly hitting Scotland.

Well, where do you think the Royal Navy is holed up? Scapa Flow and Firth of Forth (no, I have no idea how to pronounce that either). Not that I think the German propagandist were actually thinking of that

 

[Andnjord]

7 to 1 votes for the 1914 Scenario, here we go then!

First, an overview of our toys before I start diving into the game proper (I still need to figure out how to lay a mine-field )

 

[Andnjord]

The Kriegsmarine in August 1914

Spoiler

Our fleet is divided into two main groups, the Aufklarungsstreitkrafte (I'll call it the Battlecruiser Squadron, or BCS from now on) and the High Seas Fleet (HSF). Historically they were led by respectively by Admiral Hipper and a succession of Hugoh Von Polh, Von Ingenhol and finally the famous Scheer. I'll have you codexers lead those fleets if any of you mavericks cares to claim them (first come first served. Both are based at Whilelmshaven, our major port for the North Seas.

Destroyers (DD):

While we have a few different classes, they are all functionally the same. Small, fast, numerous, lightly armed, carrying no armor and most importantly carrying torpedoes, the big-ship killers. E-life on a destroyer will be cheap and expandable: they will charge into the night, scare away big ships away from our own during the day if things get hairy and in general be tiny glass-cannons that I won't hesitate to sacrifice if I feel like a gain can be made from it. We have 55 of them at the start, 20 with the Aufklarungsstreitkrafte (the BCS) and 35 with the High Sea Fleet with quite a lot more coming off the dockyard.


Light Cruiser (CL):

Light cruisers are a vital part of our fleet, and we will never have enough of them. Again, we have several classes at our disposition but they all have about the same speed and sadly the same 4'' gun armament (we will soon face British CLs sporting 6'' armament).Their submerged torpedoes differ from the DDs ones in that they have much smaller arc of fire, can't be fired at max speed but can be reloaded (takes about 30 in-game minutes). Think of them only as big ship finishers. All of our capital ship also carry them, but they should never be close enough to the enemy to use them (although shit happens, sometimes they can be life savers). They will be used as scouts for our fleets, DDs killers and should generally avoid duels against British CLs unless under heavily favourable conditions. We start with 13 of them, a wholly inadequate number in my opinion, 6 with the BC fleet, 7 with the High Seas Fleet.


Armoured Cruisers (CA):

Too weak to fight, too slow to run (or to catch anything weaker than them), the CA are thoroughly obsolete at this point and are basically a floating VP pinata.



Pre-Dreadnought Battleships (B):

If CAs are obsolete, then Bs are even worse. Slow, with inadequate guns (two double turrets of 11'') but decent armour (many British Dreadnought have the same armour and wait until you see their Bcs), they should only be used for defensive purposes and never leave the Helgoland Bight. We have eight of them, so all together they can pack a decent punch but they would be more of a liability if we were to take them out on North Sea sweep. Nevertheless we should keep them at decent training levels if possible as they can be useful to cover our ports in case of emergency. Pick one of those guys if you want your captain to have a cushy job and a high chance to make it out alive in this war. They are:

-SMS Preussen
-SMS Hessen
-SMS Lothrigen
-SMS Deutschland
-SMS Hannover
-SMS Pommern
-SMS Schleswig-Holstein
-SMS Schlesien


Dreadnought Battleships (BB):


Now we get to the big boys, the brain-children of the fork-bearded genius Tirpitz. Lots of big guns, heavy armour and up to 21 Knots (kn) of speed. In general, our BB have less guns of lower calibre than the British ones, but they compensate with much heavier armour. Historically this came from the different philosophies of the fleet's respective creator. Jackie Fisher would say: '[their] role is to hit first, hit hard and to KEEP ON HITTING' (Fisher had the unsettling tendency to capitalize random sentences when writting) whereas Tirpitz would say that 'the primary role of the ship is to not sink'. As a result the German ships had much better and thorough compartmentalisation on top of the heavier armour, and managed to withstand some tremendous amount of punishment (look at the BCs at Jutland). This means that in-game we won't be able to engage at very long ranges (shouldn't be a problem in the Baltic) but that 1vs1 engagement should be considered favourable to us. Of course the whole challenge of this campaign will be to get those 1vs1 engagements, something that will be hard due to the giant size of the RN.


First, our first generation BB, the Nassau class

On the brink of obsolescence, this is still a decent ship to have in the battle line (preferably at the back). You can see what a massive difference in firepower and general capability jump this is over our old Bs. Unfortunately the two amidship (middle) turrets you can see are wing turrets, they can only fire on one side, thus giving this ship a broadside of 8 11'' guns. This is sadly a flaw that is shared by its successor generation. We have four of them:

-SMS Posen
-SMS Rheinland
-SMS Nassau
-SMS Westfalen

Our second class BB the Helgoland Class :

Essentially the same as its predecessor except with bigger guns and more secondaries. Same wing turret arrangement for a 8 12'' broadside. We have four of them:


-SMS Ostfriesland
-SMS Turingen
-SMS Helgoland
-SMS Oldenburg


And finally the 2rd generation: the Kaiser Class

A significant improvement over its predecessor, the Kaisers sport a better armour, better speed and a more optimised turret arrangement. The two amidship turrets, while both being wing turrets, are in a echelon pattern, thus allowing the port gun to fire starboard and vice-versa, albeit at a reduced arc. This allows the Kaisers to fire a 10 12'' broadside, an appreciable improvement in fire-power. We have 5 of them. Claim them to join the elite of the Kriegsmarine battle line, at least until the Koenig class will join us in 1915 and the Bayern class in 1916.


-SMS Kaiser
-SMS Prinzregent Luitpold
-SMS Kaiserin
-SMS Konig Albert
-SMS Friedrich der Grosse


Battlecruisers (BC)



If standing bow to stern with your battle-brothers isn't for you, how about the prima-donnas of the seas, the Battlecruisers? Fast, heavily armed and decently armoured (at least in the case of the Germans) these ships are the terror of anything that can't outgun them and outrun them (which is to say most of what's out there) and only enemy BC will cause them serious problems, assuming they manage to run away from the BB (which they should). I'll leave aside the debate as to whether they where a good idea or not, suffice to say I love them and will use them heavily. They will function as detached heavy scouting force for our fleet, finding the enemy, engaging them and drawing them to our fleet ideally in a position favourable to us (historically it was the British that succeeded in doing this, allowing Jellicoe’s Grand Fleet to cross the T of Scheer’s High Seas Fleet for devastating results). Otherwise we will use them as heavy raiders, either shelling the British coast or attacking merchants, again in the hopes of drawing anything they can’t kill into the claws of our fleet.


As befits the prima donnas that they are, all of our BC are single class ships, all forming a gradual improvement over their predecessors. Compared to their British counterparts, they are slower, less heavily armed but significantly more armoured and survivable. Furthermore, like the rest of our fleet their training standard is significantly superior (something that I’ll explain in more detail later). Thus 1vs1 engagements should be considered favourable for us. Gaining superiority in BC in the North Sea would allow our BC to freely roam the seas, with nothing left to oppose them but the slow Grand Fleet’s Dreadnoughts. Getting rid of Beatty (the historical commander of the British BC fleet) should be a top priority if at all possible.

The first of our BC is SMS Von der Tann, who epitomizes the design philosophy of the German navy. For comparison, the second-generation British BC have 8 12’’ guns to our 11’’ guns, same speed but only 6’’ of belt armour and 7’’ of turret armour compared to our 10’’ of belt and 9’’ of turret. Only the recently completed ‘Beautiful Cats’ (the Lion Class BC) compares favourably to Von der Tann, with its 13’’ (in reality 13.5 but the game abstracts to 13’’ of better quality) guns, 27 kn but still inferior armour of 9’’ belt and 9’’ turret. On top of this the training quality of the British BC Fleet (BCF) is notoriously terrible, worse than the average of the British Fleet.


Next is the SMS Moltke:

With an additional rear turret the only difference with its predecessor is the larger size which gives it better floatation thus better buoyancy (less sinking).


Next, SMS Seydlitz

Sporting superior armour, this lady should be a tough customer for the British BCF. In fact its armour is equal to many modern British BB, a welcomed leader for our BC squadron where it will tend to attract more fire. In fact, at Jutland the Seydlitz was almost reduced to a floating wreck but IT.STILL.FLOATED. and reached port on its own engines.


Finally we will receive the SMS DERFFLINGER after the first week of the war.

It trades one less turret compared to Seydlitz for a heavier calibre (still a pea-shooter compared to what the Queen-Elizabeth class will bring later on). A fine ship that will lead our BC squadron together with her sister-ship Lutzow that will join us in early 1916.

And that's our fleet. I'll talk about our Submarines in the next update as they are a bit different in their function.

3 Battlecruisers
13 Dreadnought Battleships
8 Pre-Dreadnought Battleships
4 Armoured Cruisers
Not enough Light cruisers
55 Destroyers

Join us next time as I try to make sense of the Strategic interface for both myself and my public. In the meantime feel free to claim your ships (you know you always wanted to lead a ship of his majesty the Kaiser), this way I can write you in when I feel like having some talking heads commenting on the action.

 

[Dayyālu]

I LIVE

Yeh, I always found the mechanics of Steam and Iron interesting, but RTW is the best option for time-deprived losers such as myself.

What a great period this one is. Surprisingly similar to the Cold War in some regards.

EDIT: Dibs on the SMS Konig Albert!

 

[Kalin]

Awesome initiative, this is going to be good.

Calling yuge dibs on SMS Seydlitz!

 

[Dayyālu]

I'll waste a post on an image dump, because why not.

Spoiler

If you have to waste your vacations on being insanely retarded, you can always crawl roughly 12k kilometers to go see a pre-Dreadnaught battleship. Hey, it's not like people haven't done weirder things.

In Real Life it's quite smaller than expected (I knew the size, but you always expect a battleship to be bigger), and considering my experience on warships is merely touring Italian Cold War frigates it becomes amusing to realize how a contemporary frigate is comparable in size to a late 19th century battleship (and the Mikasa is smaller than a FREMM!). his should not surprise anyone, a Nassau class is still smaller than a contemporary frigate.

It's still an impressive piece of British engineering (everything on the bridge is in English, as it should be), and a well-organized example of war museum.

It's roughly 70% reconstructed material on a concrete basement, tho. Still completely worth it mostly because giggling behind a12-pounder is a bit of joy in a dreary, soulless world.

 

[Andnjord]

EDIT: Dibs on the SMS Konig Albert!

Aah, the only German battleship in service to miss Jutland? An excellent choice captain Dayyalu

Calling yuge dibs on SMS Seydlitz!

A fine ship, she will serve you well. Just make sure you stay away from the turrets and all will be well captain Kalin

If you have to waste your vacations on being insanely retarded, you can always crawl roughly 12k kilometers to go see a pre-Dreadnaught battleship. Hey, it's not like people haven't done weirder things.

Now why would I do that, I live in Great Britain, land of naval mastery and Dreadnought revolution that built more than 40 of them over time?
....''quickly looks at the wiki page of museum ships in Great Britain''...Motherfuckers, NOT A SINGLE BATTLESHIP LEFT???? YOU CHEAPSKATES BUILT THE MOST FAMOUS, POWERFUL AND REVOLUTIONARY SHIPS OF THE WORLD AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KEEP A SINGLE ONE AROUND??

...I need some coffee....

 

[zool]

I'll be happy to lead the SMS Derfinger Derfflinger into battle as soon as it joins the fleet.

 

[Andnjord]

As I haven’t been able to dive properly into the game yet (I still don’t know how to lay a mine field ☹ ) have a little treat. I might do more of these later on if the mood strikes. Enjoy gratuitous amounts of Google Translated German.


Berliner Schloss, Early morning of August the 12th

Ah Captain Kalin, Captain Dayallu, glad you could come.

Admiral.

As you know, the Kaiser takes a deep interest in the Kriegsmarine and has asked to meet personally all of its new captains. Think of it as a courtesy meeting, but try to make a good impression, understood? Oh and thank you for taking my recommendation to shave that moustache and long hair of yours captain Kalin, you were unpresentable for an officer of the Kriegsmarine.

Will I be able to ask him about my bonnaz?

I have a bad feeling about this…

Now now, stop with all this silliness. Just remember that der Kaiser is a bit in a rough mood what with Britain declaring war and all, so try not to mention your peculiar nationalities. If the subject was to arise just remember what I told you to say, very well?

It’s never gonna work…

The trio enters the Kaiser’s office and as the two captains come to attention heels click in a distinctively un-German unsynchronised fashion.

Ah, gentlemen, willkommen! Willkommen, it is a pleasure to meet you two dashing captains. Ah, what a joy it is to see that my fine ships will be manned by such fine examples of the German race. The British will never now what hit them, haha! Brother Georges, here I come! I will snatch that trident off your cold dead hands! Muhuhahahaha!

Ehrm, yes sire, about that interview you wanted?

Of course admiral, you’re right…now…ah! Captain Kalin, I heard you were going to lead the SMS Seydlitz into battle, a fine and dashing ship, isn’t she?

She’s yuge mylord! A high T ship, best of its kind! I heard we got top people to make her, top people! A captain leading her should also get a yuge bon…

My what a passionate captain you are, a pleasure to have you on board! But I must say you accent is most peculiar. It reminds of this ambassador from Sweden that came last…

NEIN! ICH BIN EIN BERLINER UND IHR MUSTACHE IST ABSOLUT SCHÖN!!

Oh, what a distinguished gentleman of refined taste you are, danke. Now, onto you captain Dayallu, it seems that the papers are missing your command.

....mah bonnaz...

Sire, it is the SMS Re Alberto. I’m afraid I have a bad feeling about her, her condenser seems to be having fits, her crew is untrained and her armament is inadequate to deal with the upcoming Queen-Elizabeth ships the Brits are building.

Re Alberto? Isn’t that Italian for Konig Alb…

NEIN! ICH BIN EIN BERLINER UND IHR MUSTACHE IST ABSOLUT SCHÖN!!

Ah, Berlin, of course. A marvellous city in summer, wouldn’t you say? And yes, meine barbier ist reich. Anyways, you two captains are dismissed. Good hunting out there, and show that the Kriegsmarine is manned by the best of the Deutsches race.

....the pain....

Heels click, again tremendously un-german in their lack of synchronization.

Now Admiral, about that list you gave me…

Yes Sire, those are the best captains the nation has at hand. Unfortunately they all are rather peculiar and this has hurt their career during the peace-time. But now war is upon us we need the best of the best.

I hear you Admiral, but certainly we could do without some of these uncouth individuals. I mean, this Grimwulf has socialist tendencies, Dreaad is the worst kind of hard-right nationalist, and on and on. I mean, you have on this list scoundrels like Beowulf , Azira , Sranchammer, zool ...

They are the best meine Kaiser, we need them.

Very well, but may Gott sei mitt uns

 

[baud]

I'd take the Prinzregent Luitpold, because he has the best beard:

 

[Beastro]

Trannies and Gentlemen

(Tsushima and T-crossing oh my)

chequered en echelon pattern

And finally the 3rd 2nd generation: the Kaiser Class

I get what ya mean by using generation literally, but design-wise they were second gen, contempraories of the first British "superdreadnoughts".

In Real Life it's quite smaller than expected (I knew the size, but you always expect a battleship to be bigger), and considering my experience on warships is merely touring Italian Cold War frigates it becomes amusing to realize how a contemporary frigate is comparable in size to a late 19th century battleship (and the Mikasa is smaller than a FREMM!). his should not surprise anyone, a Nassau class is still smaller than a contemporary frigate.

Depends on what you mean by "small" given that Mikasa displaced almost three times as much water as a FREMM.

It is interesting to think on modern destroyers as superior to battleships of the the past in their power scope due to their electronics. It puts things into a new perspective mulling over the 50+ Arleigh Burkes the USN has as equivalent to them having 50+ BBs in service.

Now why would I do that, I live in Great Britain, land of naval mastery and Dreadnought revolution that built more than 40 of them over time?
....''quickly looks at the wiki page of museum ships in Great Britain''...Motherfuckers, NOT A SINGLE BATTLESHIP LEFT???? YOU CHEAPSKATES BUILT THE MOST FAMOUS, POWERFUL AND REVOLUTIONARY SHIPS OF THE WORLD AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KEEP A SINGLE ONE AROUND??

Navy's have always been heavily unsentimental about old ships. The modern museum ship fad was born after WWII came from the fact that USS Constitution and HMS Victory were lucky to service to their centennials after spending most of their lives are hulks and then got funding to restore them. Connie had it early in 1907, but it took until the impact of post-WWI for the British to look towards preserving Victory.

Even then, unless its a iconic ship that represents an era, like Connie, Victory, Mikasa, Aurora or Averoff are, preservation is not the end of things. Look at ships like Colbert who got the museum treatment only to wind up scrapped a decade or two later due to lack of funds or the hatred of the sea-side communities that resented a warship messing with their panorama (Something I personally wouldn't understand), or others like Texas that are rotting out from underneath themselves as they wait for the money to save them from literally falling apart.

 

[Andnjord]

I'd take the Prinzregent Luitpold, because he has the best beard:

Welcome on board Captain!

I get what ya mean by using generation literally, but design-wise they were second gen, contempraories of the first British "superdreadnoughts".

Glad to have you on board too, and thanks for the corrections, they have been included.

Even then, unless its a iconic ship that represents an era, like Connie, Victory...

You'd think that HMS Dreadnought or one of the Queen-Elizabeth would qualify but I know in what dire financial straits the navy was after both world wars. Won't stop me from raging about it though.

 

[Azira]

I am a bit of a scoundrel, that much is true.

 

[Andnjord]

I am a bit of a scoundrel, that much is true.

Only the best for der Kaiser's navy
So, gunnery and seamanship expert extraordinaire for you?

 

[Beastro]

You'd think that HMS Dreadnought or one of the Queen-Elizabeth would qualify but I know in what dire financial straits the navy was after both world wars. Won't stop me from raging about it though.

Dreadnought stood no chance after WWI. The navy was flush with BBs and she was already considered more than obsolete by wars end to even qualify as a hulk. Then came the treaties and there'd no way they'd go for holding onto her comapred to a newer, older ship. As things went, it might have wound up with the RN losing Centurion taking her even in a demilitarized state.

With the QEs, Warspite and Valiant were shot, both damaged and left unrepaired by their end. Malaya was unmodified and neglected being little better in state than the Rs were. Only QE was well to do being fully repaired after the attack at Alexandria, but she lacked much of a history missing Jutland and the WWII Mediterranean battles. Warspite was the real loss of the class given her history in both wars and battle honours, but that would still mean repairing her awful bomb damage from the Med and her mine damage from Normandy. By thay latter she was a glorified monitor used only for her remaining main guns and was a complete mess.

That, combined with her breaking her line and running aground are an apt way for her to have gone out. Completely spent, but still defiant.

Of the remainder it comes down to the KGVs and Vanguard being held onto near to 1960 like the North Carolina's and Sodaks were, but of them only KGV and Duke of York had a real history, KGV with the Bismarck tie in and DoY having sunk Scharnhorst.

 

[Azira]

I am a bit of a scoundrel, that much is true.

Only the best for der Kaiser's navy
So, gunnery and seamanship expert extraordinaire for you?

If the alcohol keeps coming, why not?

 

[Grimgravy]

Sign me up for SMS Moltke and the Kaiser!

 

[Dayyālu]

YOU CHEAPSKATES BUILT THE MOST FAMOUS, POWERFUL AND REVOLUTIONARY SHIPS OF THE WORLD AND YOU DIDN'T EVEN KEEP A SINGLE ONE AROUND??

To add to what Beastro said on a more.... "civilian" perspective museum ships are insanely expensive in manteinance and the concept of "museum ship" is a fairly recent development (post WW2). The main problem is of course money. I'll repeat myself, museum ships are costly. The Mikasa cheats being essentially not a ship but a mock-up on a concrete basement. Here in Italy, for example, has the Amerigo Vespucci (barely counts, it's a ship for Navy cadets) and the Enrico Toti, that also cheats by being essentially a static exposition inside a building. Plans to make a museum ship out of one of our missile cruisers went to hell after someone checked how much it would take to demilitarize, decontaminate and mantain the thing.

It's simply not worth it for any civilian governments, and particularly for Euro governments that are always lacking in resources nowadays. The US has essentially umlimited military budget compared to any Euro nation, and that explains the differences.

Depends on what you mean by "small" given that Mikasa displaced almost three times as much water as a FREMM.

Brain mostly playing tricks on your expectations.

It is interesting to think on modern destroyers as superior to battleships of the the past in their power scope due to their electronics. It puts things into a new perspective mulling over the 50+ Arleigh Burkes the USN has as equivalent to them having 50+ BBs in service.

Again, the glorious result of decades of tech advancements and of a completely changing doctrine. A single Otobreda (be it te 127mm or the 76mm version) is faster and more effective than entire WW2-era battleships, and that's good. Not that such kinds of weapons are even useful in the contemporary naval doctrine if not for niche uses.

Did we get any naval engagement after WW2 bar the war for the Malvinas?

Also, for the sake of shitposting, one of Mutsu's 410mm guns, because for the Japs placing naval guns around is the equivalent of a T-34 on a plint for the Russkies or F-104 on a plint for the Italians:

 

[Andnjord]

If the alcohol keeps coming, why not?

Beer and bratwurst are standard issue aboard the navy. Welcome to the Kriegsmarine, considering your past service history in the service of Captain Grimwulf you've been promoted to Rear-Admiral in command of the Armoured Cruiser Squadron. Godspeed

Sign me up for SMS Moltke and the Kaiser!

Wilkmonen, it seems that our BCS is filling up nicely.

Now I just need to decide on who to promote to its command...

To add to what Beastro said...

Dreadnought stood no chance after WWI...

Stop using rational arguments to oppose my rage Whatever, I still get to walk past the Cutty Sark every time I go to Uni. But thanks for the sperging, it is very informative.

 

[baud]

Look at ships like Colbert who got the museum treatment only to wind up scrapped a decade or two later due to lack of funds or the hatred of the sea-side communities that resented a warship messing with their panoram

I remember visiting the Colbert a (very) long time ago, before it was scrapped. I also visited the Redoutable, a ballistic missile submarine, even if there was not much to be seen: the submarine was stored in a dry dock, with the part containing the nuclear reactor removed and replaced by empty steel tube.

 

[Andnjord]

Because why not start with a gratuitous shot of SMS Seydlitz?

Let's goooooooooo!

The Strategic Interface:

Spoiler

It's a beauty, isn't it?

Right, let me get this out of the way so I can finally play the game.


This is where the magic happens:

-You pick a mission from the objective box in the lower centre (some are optional, some are mandatory and you suffer from a VP penalty for not accomplishing them).

-You activate individual ships, full squadrons or entire fleets which costs you OP points (the beer and bratwurts our sailors operate on,

-OP carry over from previous turns and a single BB squadron costs 100 points to activate).

-Then you press Turn and your activated ships spawn on the map close to port, ready to go and hunt baddies under your control.

You can use saved OP points to Emergency activate any ship at half the normal price, though they'll spawn inside the port they're based in and will take three hours to raise steam, meaning they will take three hours until they can start moving.

Next to each ship's name you can see a few numbers. The first one for (example the 20A next to SMS Seydlitz) I have zero idea what it means. The second is the ship's crew training level. It goes from -2 to +2, each level giving a 10% bonus on gun's accuracy, rate of fire and damage control (I think). Considering that the British BCs start at minus one and ours at +1 you can see why I'm eager to have an early scrap with them.

Subs work like this I think. You pick them from a pool, place them on the map at the cost of some OP where they will patrol for the duration of the sortie. Then there is a random chance they spot or torpedo any enemy ship passing on top of them I think. Note: No british capital ship were sunk by german U-Boats.


Once a sortie is finished, either through no ships being at sea or through the (generous) sortie timer running out, the turn moves forward, you send damaged ships to drydocks for repair (limited spaces available and some repairs can take months) and you start all over again. Got it? Good. Now let's get started.

Turn 1, Early August 1914


As per admiralty's orders, we are gonna send our BCS out on a sweep in the middle of the North Sea. If we fail to find anything we will swing South towards the Broad Fourteens where, as was historically the case, a crappy squadron of British CAs normally patrols before we'll return to port. Easy Vps for us and a decent live target practice for our gunners.

Two potential threats we could run into: either a BB squadron (Britain shouldn't have enough OP to sortie much more than that) in which case we will try to draw them into the Helgoland Bight through our Sub screen and destroy them with our reinforcements, or the full BC fleet (we will engage equal numbers) in which case their poor gunnery should allow us to escape unscathed.

As the SMS Derfflinger is still not here, Zool will be at the helm of the SMS von der Tann since no one has claimed her.

Due to our limited OP we send only one CL (it will scout AND NOT ENGAGE) and a DD flotilla to escort our Prima Donnas. I want to keep enough points to Emergency activate a squadron of BBs.

Normally I wouldn't send big ships out so early, but heck. I have an audience to amuse, so why not send out cpts Kalin, Zool and Grimgravy out for some fun?


Join us next time where I finally start blowing up pixelated ships for your amusement.

 

[Andnjord]

The Battle of the Broad Fourteens

Spoiler

For those not familiar with the game, I recommend that you have a look at this post from Dayallu's LP where he explains the combat engine. There, now my autism is satisfied as well as my laziness. https://rpgcodex.net/forums/index.php?threads/lets-play-rule-the-waves.108492/page-5

August the 4th, it is the middle of the night and our little Squadron is at sea. We hope to strike a warning blow against the British, no one would expect us to act so aggressively this early in the war. Our elite squadron is being led by Kalin aboard SMS Seydlitz, Grimgravy aboard SMS Moltke and Zool aboard the SMS von der Tann. In support we have the SMS Strassburg and a flottila of DD. God Speed captains.

All right boyz, I'm the one with the bigger ship so I'm in command today. So you niggas are gonna do what I tell ya.

Very well Captain

Pending further clarification from Admiralty this arrangement is tolerable to us.

Gud. Cruizin' speed, let's cap some asses.

This is our objective, we just need to reach it with our BCS and we'll get a small bonus of VP. The submarine screen is disposed in such a way as to hopefully warn us of any dangers once we do our planned sweep south.

At 12h48 we reach our objective without incidents, but a few moments later...

Enemy ships sighed

Full steam ahead, let's pop some moles!

Visibility:tolerable. Crew Readiness: Adequate. Action stations.

Indeed.

Lucky us, it's just some light forces. Two CL and a small swarm of DD. This should be easy.

BOOOM, muhuhahaha, slaughter!



Looks like the Brits were on a mine laying mission. Glad we caught them.

Sadly, due to some desperate manoeuvring from two DD (which we sink) the remaining CL manages to escape It is still within our gun's range, but at this distance and against small targets we would just waste ammo.

Target too distant for efficient firing: disengagement recommended.

Indeed, let us move south to catch the CAs patrolling the Broad Fourteens.

CA higher value target than CL. Ratio of tonnage sunk per shell fired higher. This captain supports the council of my colleague.

Yo niggaz, I'm the one in charge here! And I say we go south and find us some bigger crackas to shoot at.



17:05. Contact!

It's the Armored Cruisers we were looking for, charge!

After one ranging volley at 17:36 we score some 7 hits on the CAs at 17:37...that is some good shooting...

Double bonnaz of beer for the gunners!

The westernmost CA has slowed down. Commence DD torpedo attack to finish her off. We will focus on the two remaining ones.

OY, I'm the boss here. Git her mah boyz!

Torpedo attack successful, enemy ship status: expected sinking within 20 minutes. Distribution of additional beer rations to DD Crew: authorized.

Hey! Woz in charge here again? Git your ass back mah boyz, we got some more crackas to sink.



The rest of the fight is pretty easy, the second CA is sunk by shellfire while the third slows down, is lit on fire and finally also eats a torpedo from our DDs.

Greeet job mah boyz, now let's get home and get our yuuuuge bonnaz!!

Indeed

Battle result: satisfactory. Celebrations authorized and encouraged for valiant crew.

Not you Grimblobber, your ship shot like shit. All your getting is double bonnaz of training when we get back home.

...


Yeah, Seydlitz and von der Tann fired like the crack crews they are, but Moltke scored only about 2% of her shots :D



The journey home is uneventful, we reach port mid-morning the next day for some well deserved beer and bratwurts

oh....So the BCF WAS out there... Probably a good thing we didn't encounter them, 3 vs 5 might have been...hairy for our boys. Then again, they might have been just patrolling their port (the game spawns a few random squadrons to do that, they'll just stay around port and not sweep anywhere) so we weren't actually in danger. Maybe.

Anyways, after finishing the scenario we are treated to this screen which summarizes the VP situation as well as giving us some intel about the enemy...yeah, 25 Dreadnoughts in Britain's service. We are not gonna seek out a fleet battle anytime soon. Also SMS Derfflinger has been officially comissioned into the navy but she starts at crew training -2 so it will be a little while before captain Zool can transfer his flag aboard it.

And that was our first battle! See you next time for more hot ship on ship action!

 

[Kalin]

Glorious victory!

As to be expected, of course, with such an excellent commanding officer.