Stella Brando
Arcane
BLOOD ON THE ICE
10,000 BC: Conan, Gilgamesh, Samson, Bamm-Bamm Rubble, a time-travelling Terminator and their pet sabre-tooth tiger battle mammoth-riding Neanderthals for control of a mysterious black monolith - all to the tune of Anvil of Crom.
Transport: An now-extinct 2-ton wombat with a pouch full of black lotus.
AN ASSOCIATION OF INCREDIBLE PERSONAGES
1880: In this highly original, public-domain adventure, Sherlock Holmes, Dracula, the Man With No Name, explorer Richard Burton, Jack the Ripper and Jules Verne seek a powerful African artifact for Queen Victoria.
Transport: They relax in the luxury compartment of Dr. Emmet Brown’s steam-punk flying train. The second compartment holds a full orchestra playing Wagner’s Ride of the Valkyries. The third compartment is full of opium.
A VOYAGE TO REMEMBER
1912: Henry Ford and the Wright Brothers decide to take a break from driving and flying with a nice ocean cruise. But their peace is interrupted by wild fiestas held by the Three Amigos, the Wild Bunch, Pancho Villa and John Marston.
Transport: All the laudanum they can carry. And a brass band. On the Titanic.
A BRUNCH TO FORGET
1922: Jay Gatsby, Lords Greystoke and Flashheart, Count Nosferatu and Al Capone are astounded when their high-class luncheon is not interrupted by Tentacled Monstrosities From Beyond. There is some strange growth on the foie gras, however.
Transport: A Model T. Ford with jazz playing on a grammophone and a chest full of boot-leg liquor.
A WHEEL IS FOREVER: A CAR, INFINITY TIMES FOUR
1970: James Bond, John Lennon, Neil Armstrong, Bruce Lee and the Zodiac Killer look for meaning on dusty desert back roads during the Nixon administration.
Transport: A white Dodge Challenger with Led Zeppelin blasting on the 8-track, Rosemary’s devil-spawn in the baby seat, and a suitcase personally supplied by Hunter S. Thompson in the trunk.
THE UNFILMABLES
1985: John 'Commando' Matrix, John Rambo, John McClane and Jack Burton take on a Florida drug kingpin.
Transport: They all squeeze into a two-seater white Ferrari Testarossa with new wave music playing on the stereo and 20 kg of pure Val Verdean blow in the trunk.
DO YOU FEEL CYBER, PUNK?
2025: Another Terminator, Robocop, Max Rockatansky and Snake Plissken hunt down replicants in dystopian L.A.
Transport: High-performance red motor-bikes covered with bumper stickers from long-dead companies. The glove compartments are full of nuke. John Carpenter is towed behind on a hoverboard, providing the soundtrack on his synthesiser.
X-WINGS & THINGS
2200: ET, an Ewok, a face-hugger egg, a body-snatcher plant, and a very suspicious husky go where no man has gone before.
Transport: An X-Wing with a cock-pit full of spice and HAL humming Duel of the Fates.
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