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Worst, most illogical quests

DraQ

Arcane
Joined
Oct 24, 2007
Messages
32,828
Location
Chrząszczyżewoszyce, powiat Łękołody
It's invisible instead of inside? That just raises further questions! There's half a dozen spells (at least) that will stop invisibility. Restricting it to one (albeit the best) makes no sense.
True, but there are already multiple ways of solving the problem, for every alignment out there.

Also do you even read the goddamn dialogue?
Mechanics >> dialogue options.
 

Bad Sector

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Mar 25, 2012
Messages
2,223
Insert Title Here RPG Wokedex Codex Year of the Donut Codex+ Now Streaming! Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
That doesnt make it better. They sacrificed logic and consistency and made fools of BoS for what, a banal reference?

Eh, i found the reference cool :-P it was the first worm after all. I mentioned it because i got the impression that you found the virus itself to not make sense (when i first played the game and encountered that i thought that myself), so i pointed out that it was actually based on a real one.

TBH what Zibniyat mentioned (about placing everyone on terminals) never occurred to me. I'm not sure why i didn't thought of it, probably i got the impression that it was something that had just happened as i entered the room (weird "time only flows when the PC is involved" issues aside) and they hadn't yet tried to call for everyone (there are some people moving around the terminals) or the head scribe thought he could fix it himself before realizing he wasn't fast enough and asked for PC's help. But TBH i do not remember the dialogs to be sure. If i play the game again in the future i'll pay attention to it.
 

Okagron

Prophet
Joined
Mar 22, 2018
Messages
753
Fallout 4

"Ghoul kid in the fridge"

Ghoul kid stuck in a fridge for 200 years, while the parents (ghouls too, of course) live nearby.
This quest is total maximum retardation on so many levels I can't even.
That's not even the worst part. If Ghouls can survive for so long with no water or food, why did the Ghouls in the Necropolis need the water chip? They could have just given to you since apparently they don't need water to survive according to this quest in Fallout 4, or at least can survive for literal centuries with no water. And yet, they don't want to give it you so willy-nilly because they will die with no water.

How such a small quest in a later sequel can truly obliterate one of the best parts of the very first game.
 

Commissar Draco

Codexia Comrade Colonel Commissar
Patron
Joined
Mar 6, 2011
Messages
20,856
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Привислинский край
Insert Title Here Strap Yourselves In Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Divinity: Original Sin 2
In Inquisitor Martyr you have two quests when you have to protect tech-priest in one against attacks from three different direction and once again in fifth one from two while given only one turret in former and single mine field in latter one. Also the Cogitator in second one has only 5000 HP which means it can be whacked in few hits by smallest horde demon who can sneak onto it. Literally can't be done by some builds and requires meta gaming and much cheesing otherwise. Now at least you can do those quests in co-op mod and re-roll your char but you were f... ed before 2.0. Other protect missions have turrets and storm troopers to help you out and mostly haves sensible lay out of map when you can bottle neck enemies but those two were reason why this game has so many negative reviews earlier.
 

Carrion

Arcane
Patron
Joined
Jun 30, 2011
Messages
3,648
Location
Lost in Necropolis
The donkey puzzle in Broken Sword. I did not have internet access then and rage quit.
You mean the goat? The thing was an asshole.

I'd still be stuck on Lucre Island in Escape From Monkey Island if it wasn't for walkthroughs. I think my favorite part is reading a bunch of random names from the bottom of a manhole cover, giving those names to the owner of a prosthetics store when he's telling you one of his stories, getting a prosthetic skin as a reward, and using the skin as a trampoline to gain access into a bank. Then there's the part that involves creating your own perfume, spraying the prosthetics guy with it, and using the name he gives you to operate a filing apparatus in order to get a map that you can use to navigate a time travel swamp later on. And just to not make things too easy, the apparatus uses a code where for example the initial "A" translates into a picture of a bunny.
 
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
50,754
Codex Year of the Donut
As for my own entry, definitely King’s Quest. I cannot even do it justice, so I’m just going to cite Richard Corbett.

There's at least three contenders for a slot in King's Quest V alone; a game in which you spend half the game blocked by a snake ("A pooooooisnous snake!" no less) that you could simply walk past if not for the fact that the won't let you, at one point capture an elf by pouring honey onto the ground to trap it and then making it help before freeing it ("Hero!") and everyone's favourite puzzle of that game, defeating a yeti with a custard pie. Yes, really. That happened.

But there's so many more to choose from. How about in King's Quest II, defeating another snake by throwing a bridle on it, which magically and pretty randomly turns it into a horse? You know you're dealing with a dumb puzzle when even the official companion book has to pass a solution off as a lucky accident! (It's nominally a Greek mythology reference, but one so cack-handed that an entire crate of soap wouldn't get rid of the appalling stench.)

Still too fair? In King's Quest IV there's another bridle that you need, this time to mount a unicorn. (Thankfully, not in the DeviantArt sense.) The twist this time is that it's hidden behind the game scenery, wasn't drawn to the player's attention and can lead to a dead-man-walking situation if missed. And you have to be standing in the right place, or you just miss it entirely.

Probably the most infamous King's Quest bad puzzle though is from the first game, so also in fairness the easiest to forgive. It's a variant on the Rumplestiltskin tale, where you have to guess a gnome's name - the trick, since that one should be obvious, being to give it to him backwards. So, Nikstlitselpmur, right? Haha, no. Instead, designer Roberta Williams decided that 'backwards' meant reversing the alphabet, making the actual solution the completely unpronounceable 'Ifnkovhgroghprm'. Player response to this declared it such complete and utter bullshit even in an era where designers hadn't learned the art of good puzzles that it was later changed to the more sensible version.
$$$ from tiplines and strategy guides, this stuff was a lot more common than people seem to remember.
 
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
50,754
Codex Year of the Donut
Fallout 4

"Ghoul kid in the fridge"

Ghoul kid stuck in a fridge for 200 years, while the parents (ghouls too, of course) live nearby.
This quest is total maximum retardation on so many levels I can't even.
That's not even the worst part. If Ghouls can survive for so long with no water or food, why did the Ghouls in the Necropolis need the water chip? They could have just given to you since apparently they don't need water to survive according to this quest in Fallout 4, or at least can survive for literal centuries with no water. And yet, they don't want to give it you so willy-nilly because they will die with no water.

How such a small quest in a later sequel can truly obliterate one of the best parts of the very first game.
they lied to you
 

Okagron

Prophet
Joined
Mar 22, 2018
Messages
753
they lied to you
Not sure if this is a joke or not, but they didn't. The ghouls will die of thirst if you take the water chip and don't find a source of water to them.

Apparently this bullshit with ghouls started with Fallout 3. There's a glowing one called Keller Senior that survived for 200 years being stuck in a bunker with only very few supplies and the flesh of his relatives. But then New Vegas has ghouls working like they do in Fallout 1 and 2, with Harland saying he needed to eat radroaches and drink pipe condensation to stay alive.

To finally end this madness, Fallout 4 is not even consistent with itself. There's a ghoul called Kent Connoly that needed sustenance to survive and this is revealed in a terminal. So Ghouls do need to eat and drink to survive.
 
Joined
Jan 14, 2018
Messages
50,754
Codex Year of the Donut
they lied to you
Not sure if this is a joke or not, but they didn't. The ghouls will die of thirst if you take the water chip and don't find a source of water to them.

Apparently this bullshit with ghouls started with Fallout 3. There's a glowing one called Keller Senior that survived for 200 years being stuck in a bunker with only very few supplies and the flesh his relatives. But then New Vegas has ghouls working like they do in Fallout 1 and 2, with Harlan saying he needed to eat radroaches and drink pipe condensation to stay alive.

To finally end this madness, Fallout 4 is not even consistent with itself. There's a ghoul called Kent Connoly that needed sustenance to survive and this is revealed in a terminal. So Ghouls do need to eat and drink to survive.
Maybe they just mutated differently.
 

Master

Arbiter
Joined
Oct 19, 2016
Messages
1,160
That doesnt make it better. They sacrificed logic and consistency and made fools of BoS for what, a banal reference?

Eh, i found the reference cool :-P it was the first worm after all. I mentioned it because i got the impression that you found the virus itself to not make sense (when i first played the game and encountered that i thought that myself), so i pointed out that it was actually based on a real one.

TBH what Zibniyat mentioned (about placing everyone on terminals) never occurred to me. I'm not sure why i didn't thought of it, probably i got the impression that it was something that had just happened as i entered the room (weird "time only flows when the PC is involved" issues aside) and they hadn't yet tried to call for everyone (there are some people moving around the terminals)
Yeah, i meant why they didnt put everyone on the terminals. And yeah i forgot there are even people moving about in the room... Its just such a huge facepalm.
 

Black Angel

Arcane
Joined
Jun 23, 2016
Messages
2,910
Location
Wonderland
Always thought it made no sense that one guy would be sent out into a post apocalyptic hell unarmed to find a water chip that is vital to the entire vault’s survival. Wouldn’t a squad of heavily armed men carrying goods that can be traded for a chip make more sense? Any sensible person in the Vault Dweller’s situation would have settled in Shady Sands figuring “if they are serious about the fucking chip they’ll invest some actual resources next time”.
As Jacob mentioned, the pre-made characters has their own reason to go out and search for the water chip, so you can make your own reason for your own character.

Even then, iirc canonically it was your character who drew the straw that sent him/her out into the wasteland. Do remember that the purpose of Vault 13 is to stay closed for 200 years without contact whatsoever with the outside world. Sending out more than a personnel at a time would increase the risk of the vault's whereabouts leaked to the outsiders, heck even one Vault Dweller can leak it to the Water Merchants which leads to Super Mutants invasion timer to Vault 13 reduced. Even if VD didn't leak it to the Water Merchants, he/she can still leak it to the Super Mutants by joining them when brought to The Lieutenant.
 

JarlFrank

I like Thief THIS much
Patron
Joined
Jan 4, 2007
Messages
33,052
Location
KA.DINGIR.RA.KI
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
As for my own entry, definitely King’s Quest. I cannot even do it justice, so I’m just going to cite Richard Corbett.

There's at least three contenders for a slot in King's Quest V alone; a game in which you spend half the game blocked by a snake ("A pooooooisnous snake!" no less) that you could simply walk past if not for the fact that the won't let you, at one point capture an elf by pouring honey onto the ground to trap it and then making it help before freeing it ("Hero!") and everyone's favourite puzzle of that game, defeating a yeti with a custard pie. Yes, really. That happened.

But there's so many more to choose from. How about in King's Quest II, defeating another snake by throwing a bridle on it, which magically and pretty randomly turns it into a horse? You know you're dealing with a dumb puzzle when even the official companion book has to pass a solution off as a lucky accident! (It's nominally a Greek mythology reference, but one so cack-handed that an entire crate of soap wouldn't get rid of the appalling stench.)

Still too fair? In King's Quest IV there's another bridle that you need, this time to mount a unicorn. (Thankfully, not in the DeviantArt sense.) The twist this time is that it's hidden behind the game scenery, wasn't drawn to the player's attention and can lead to a dead-man-walking situation if missed. And you have to be standing in the right place, or you just miss it entirely.

Probably the most infamous King's Quest bad puzzle though is from the first game, so also in fairness the easiest to forgive. It's a variant on the Rumplestiltskin tale, where you have to guess a gnome's name - the trick, since that one should be obvious, being to give it to him backwards. So, Nikstlitselpmur, right? Haha, no. Instead, designer Roberta Williams decided that 'backwards' meant reversing the alphabet, making the actual solution the completely unpronounceable 'Ifnkovhgroghprm'. Player response to this declared it such complete and utter bullshit even in an era where designers hadn't learned the art of good puzzles that it was later changed to the more sensible version.
$$$ from tiplines and strategy guides, this stuff was a lot more common than people seem to remember.

Also, as much of a legend as she is, Roberta Williams was never a good game designer.
 

JarlFrank

I like Thief THIS much
Patron
Joined
Jan 4, 2007
Messages
33,052
Location
KA.DINGIR.RA.KI
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
they lied to you
Not sure if this is a joke or not, but they didn't. The ghouls will die of thirst if you take the water chip and don't find a source of water to them.

Apparently this bullshit with ghouls started with Fallout 3. There's a glowing one called Keller Senior that survived for 200 years being stuck in a bunker with only very few supplies and the flesh of his relatives. But then New Vegas has ghouls working like they do in Fallout 1 and 2, with Harland saying he needed to eat radroaches and drink pipe condensation to stay alive.

To finally end this madness, Fallout 4 is not even consistent with itself. There's a ghoul called Kent Connoly that needed sustenance to survive and this is revealed in a terminal. So Ghouls do need to eat and drink to survive.

That's because only Fallout 1, 2, and New Vegas are canon. 3 and 4 are bad fanfiction that should be disregarded.
 

JarlFrank

I like Thief THIS much
Patron
Joined
Jan 4, 2007
Messages
33,052
Location
KA.DINGIR.RA.KI
Steve gets a Kidney but I don't even get a tag.
That's because only Fallout 1, 2, and New Vegas are canon. 3 and 4 are bad fanfiction that should be disregarded.
You realize it was Fallout 2 which actually killed thematic consistency of first Fallout and what Bethesda probably copied?

Yes, Fallout 2 had a lot of dumb shit, but it doesn't even remotely reach the dumbness of 3 and 4.

New Vegas is also more of a Fallout 2 than a Fallout 1 game.
 

Snufkin

Augur
Joined
Mar 11, 2012
Messages
461
Quest in Boneyard (Fallout1) when you give holodisk to Zimmerman guy, he attacks you even if you silently kill guy behind him who is scripted to kill him. Rage inducing.
 

Shadenuat

Arcane
Joined
Dec 9, 2011
Messages
11,955
Location
Russia
New Vegas is also more of a Fallout 2 than a Fallout 1 game.
Not sure about this. It's Called New Vegas, and has Vegas themes and old west. Sawyer even barricaded weird stuff behind WW trait. Caesar legion maybe a bit retarded? But it doesn't throw kung fu city out of nowhere on you. And FNV really has better writing everywhere, more interesting themes, companions, takes things more seriously by a lot.

Sure, Bethesda is p. dumb, it even does dumb things dumb. But if I would to cut dumb content out of Fallout 2 and leave what would make Fallout game, I would probably leave Den (minus a ghost) and Vault City in the game, add or take; the rest often has something that doesn't make sense or is a fanservice.
 
Last edited:

Saduj

Arcane
Joined
Aug 26, 2012
Messages
2,547
Even then, iirc canonically it was your character who drew the straw that sent him/her out into the wasteland. Do remember that the purpose of Vault 13 is to stay closed for 200 years without contact whatsoever with the outside world. Sending out more than a personnel at a time would increase the risk of the vault's whereabouts leaked to the outsiders, heck even one Vault Dweller can leak it to the Water Merchants which leads to Super Mutants invasion timer to Vault 13 reduced. Even if VD didn't leak it to the Water Merchants, he/she can still leak it to the Super Mutants by joining them when brought to The Lieutenant.

At the point where the vault is no longer self sufficient, the 200 year thing is out the window. They are all going to have to leave or die if they don't get a chip anyway. A group of heavily armed people carrying pristine pre-war technology may be more conspicuous but they are also much more likely to stay on-mission and survive in general. Instead they send out one randomly chosen guy unarmed with nothing to trade and he's wearing a vault suit with a big fucking '13' on the back of it. He's literally a walking advertisement. If he does happen to be spotted by people who have the desire and ability to raid a vault, how hard is it to snatch him up and torture him until he tells them where Vault 13 is?

Anyway, these are the kinds of things I imagine a Vault Dweller would be thinking as he is punching rats to death while his vault suit is riding up on him.
 

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