Jack Of Owls
Arcane
In Divine Divinity, Larian Studios' idea of a mystery quest was where you have to figure out who's been pissing in the sacramental wine in the church, though I thought it was kind of funny.
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Worst, most illogical quests
- Thread starter Master
- Start date
"I'm looking for my father, a middle aged man." Enough said.
https://www.oism.org/nwss/s73p919.htm
The dangers from drinking fallout contaminated water could be greatly lessened by using expedient settling and filtration methods to remove fallout particles and most of the dissolved radioactive material. Fortunately, in areas of heavy fallout, less than 2% of the radioactivity of the fallout particles contained in the water would become dissolved in water.
Filtering through earth removes essentially all of the fallout particles and more of the dissolved radioactive material than does boiling-water distillation, a generally impractical purification method that does not eliminate dangerous radioactive iodines. Earth filters are also more effective in removing radioactive iodines than are ordinary ion-exchange water softeners or charcoal filters. In areas of heavy fallout, about 99% of the radioactivity in water could be removed by filtering it through ordinary earth.
Yeah building a water filter 200 years after the war sure seems like the most necessary thing ever. There is no other way to filter water than to build a mega hightech water filter.
ShaggyMoose
Savant
Not a "quest" as such, but I remember being infuriated by trying to clear rubble with explosive barrels in The Silver Seed (expansion for Ultima 7 Serpent Isle). The explosions were unreliable as hell and your asshole party kept stepping into the blast area.
Sadly after 20 years of playing RPGs with shitty writing and inane errands, I think am generally inured to pointless or stupid quests.
Sadly after 20 years of playing RPGs with shitty writing and inane errands, I think am generally inured to pointless or stupid quests.
Sigourn
uooh afficionado
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- Feb 6, 2016
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- 5,656
The issue with Fallout 3 is that the people who bash it, including myself, have probably played it just once (if at all), and that was years ago.
First and last time I played Fallout 3 to completion was in 2014, right after Skyrim. It's hard to have an honest argument as a basher when your memories are so clouded. On the other hand I know New Vegas better than my dick, and a lot of people bashing Fallout 3 are parroting what some YouTubers have said in the past.
I'm trying not to be critical of games I haven't played in ages. But the one thing I do remember being
was Three Dog asking you to go to a place infested by Super Mutants just to collect a satellite dish so he would tell you where your father went to. The best part is that this very same retard is the one that later calls you out on murdering evil ghouls (all while your Karma level drops).I'll also go on ahead and say that if you love Fallout 2 then you have no business criticizing Fallout 3. Your shitty game enabled Bethesda to do whatever the fuck they wanted with this franchise. The franchise needs to be rebuilt from the ground up with only Fallout and Fallout: New Vegas being canonical, and rewrite Fallout 2 so it isn't a fucking tribal who destroys the remnants of the U.S. government.
A fucking tribal.
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Viata
Arcane
Sigourn
uooh afficionado
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Fallout 2 embodies the retardation present in Fallout 3. To deny Bethesda used Fallout 2 as a template to make Fallout 3 is being dumb.
Black Angel
Arcane
I thought I already put out a petition out there? Oh well, here we go again.
Petition to tag HarveyBirdman with
, it's clear playing (and dare I say, loving) Bethshit games has rotten his brain to this point.
Oh yeah, starting from a vault is a legacy from Fallout 1, and Bethesda used it not just Fallout 3, but ALSO Fallout 4. Which means Fallout 1 embodies the retardation present in Fallout 4, especially since Fallout 4 ALSO has Super Mutants and Brotherhood of Steel.
Petition to tag HarveyBirdman with
You should go ahead and insult Fallout 1 while you're at it. After all, Bethesda used Fallout 1 as a template for Fallout 3's water problems and getting kicked out of the vault after 'saving' it. Oh, and just so you know, Super Mutants and Brotherhood of Steel originated from Fallout 1, and both are rather minor elements in Fallout 2, and yet they're heavily presents in Fallout 3.
Fallout 2 embodies the retardation present in Fallout 3. To deny Bethesda used Fallout 2 as a template to make Fallout 3 is being dumb.
It might've not done well, but I'd take a fucking tribal any fucking day instead of having to start the game from a fucking vault, again.
Oh yeah, starting from a vault is a legacy from Fallout 1, and Bethesda used it not just Fallout 3, but ALSO Fallout 4. Which means Fallout 1 embodies the retardation present in Fallout 4, especially since Fallout 4 ALSO has Super Mutants and Brotherhood of Steel.
Sigourn
uooh afficionado
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I've played all Fallout games minus 4, thank you. There's nothing retarded about all the elements you just mentioned.
On the other hand, Vault experiments are retarded... and guess where they started? That's right! Fallout 2. Until Fallout 2, all we knew about the Vaults and Vault-Tec were that they were poorly built and Vault-Tec was a pretty shitty company. Nothing more, nothing less.
But it's great seeing your mental gymnastics trying to justify that Bethesda's Fallout wasn't built on the foundation of the wacky Fallout 2 memes, especially when most of the things people praise about Bethesda's Fallout (the "funny" humor, the "scary and twisted" Vaults) originated with Fallout 2.
If only there was another background we could have been given... maybe a courier, who knows.
DraQ
Arcane
"Just because I'm immune to radiation and also your companion does not mean I will be pressing your button for you, just man up and die already, FFS!"
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Disclaimer: With the exception of the lighthouse quest, none of the quests mentioned here are even documented in any game journals or such, so whether they count as quests is debatable. One of them does need to be completed to advance the game, so that one probably counts.
Ultima IX
1) There's this early quest where you're tasked with replacing the light gems in the land's three remaining lighthouses. Seeing as ocean travel without a boat is a daunting challenge, this sounds like a good opportunity to make it easier to travel around.
Nope... not only does this quest take up 90% of the game's duration to complete, but there's no in-game benefit from doing so, and you only get rewarded with a measly 100 gold for completing it.
2) How to receive Grand Master/Expert training (whatever they called it) in two-handed swords. Unlike most (all?) other trainers whom are characters in the game, this particular training milestone can only be achieved by reading a book... so the book must be found first.
And where is the book? It's in a house in an unnamed village that does not appear on the map. There's a good reason for that: The village is at the bottom of the ocean. I don't know which is weirder, that the devs thought it was a good idea to put it there, or that someone actually went and found it in-game.
Eye of the Beholder III
The first map has lots of trees that can only be passed by chopping them down with axes. Fair enough, but takes forever. Then the second map is reached and it has a set of trees that block your path and refuse to be chopped down by axes (huh?), so they need something bigger to be removed. Now, according to the original game design, the party is supposed to enter the Mausoleum on the first map and retrieve the Amulet of Friendship from Captain Fflar so that the trees recognize you as a friend and let you pass. (Yes, it hurt my head to write that.)
Those of you familiar with EOB3 might also remember that the Mausoleum is two floors of sheer hell and nightmares, including some of the toughest fights in the game, some of the most fiendish death traps in the game and then also housing level-draining wights, just to spice things up. Add in the fact that Captain Fflar is no slouch in combat (he's actually harder to kill than the endboss) and you have a laundry list of reasons not to enter the Mausoleum.
Good thing you don't have to then, eh? Because it turns out that not five steps away from those overzealously stubborn trees is an item called the Everburning Torch, and you can wave that in front of those same trees to scare them off, granting you passage. The rest of the game is kinda easy compared to the Mausoleum, so one can only imagine what in the Nine Hells that Everburning Torch is doing there.
Finally, one of the oldest and most classical ones: How to kill the dragon in Adventure.
Ultima IX
1) There's this early quest where you're tasked with replacing the light gems in the land's three remaining lighthouses. Seeing as ocean travel without a boat is a daunting challenge, this sounds like a good opportunity to make it easier to travel around.
Nope... not only does this quest take up 90% of the game's duration to complete, but there's no in-game benefit from doing so, and you only get rewarded with a measly 100 gold for completing it.
2) How to receive Grand Master/Expert training (whatever they called it) in two-handed swords. Unlike most (all?) other trainers whom are characters in the game, this particular training milestone can only be achieved by reading a book... so the book must be found first.
And where is the book? It's in a house in an unnamed village that does not appear on the map. There's a good reason for that: The village is at the bottom of the ocean. I don't know which is weirder, that the devs thought it was a good idea to put it there, or that someone actually went and found it in-game.
Eye of the Beholder III
The first map has lots of trees that can only be passed by chopping them down with axes. Fair enough, but takes forever. Then the second map is reached and it has a set of trees that block your path and refuse to be chopped down by axes (huh?), so they need something bigger to be removed. Now, according to the original game design, the party is supposed to enter the Mausoleum on the first map and retrieve the Amulet of Friendship from Captain Fflar so that the trees recognize you as a friend and let you pass. (Yes, it hurt my head to write that.)
Those of you familiar with EOB3 might also remember that the Mausoleum is two floors of sheer hell and nightmares, including some of the toughest fights in the game, some of the most fiendish death traps in the game and then also housing level-draining wights, just to spice things up. Add in the fact that Captain Fflar is no slouch in combat (he's actually harder to kill than the endboss) and you have a laundry list of reasons not to enter the Mausoleum.
Good thing you don't have to then, eh? Because it turns out that not five steps away from those overzealously stubborn trees is an item called the Everburning Torch, and you can wave that in front of those same trees to scare them off, granting you passage. The rest of the game is kinda easy compared to the Mausoleum, so one can only imagine what in the Nine Hells that Everburning Torch is doing there.
Finally, one of the oldest and most classical ones: How to kill the dragon in Adventure.
sullynathan
Arcane
The best thing about this post is that you can rate it a mystery and it is also a ghost. Perhaps the kid made it to the internet
sullynathan
Arcane
Makes you wonder which writer/designer at these studios sit down and makes these quests. Must've been really bored.
I'm convinced that Bethesda took that old saying "If you put a hundred monkeys with typewriters in a room they'd eventually write Shakespeare" to heart and fucking ran with it.
Viata
Arcane
To think Bethesda sucks even when it got hundred of monkeys doing its job.
DraQ
Arcane
Aaaand one more thing, regarding Skyrim:
There is plenty of shit in Skyrim quests (arguably all of them) that makes them one or more of the following:
- contrived
- railroaded
- badly paced
- pointless
- pretty dumb, when you think about it
- plain fucking baffling in a 'WAT.' sense
- disappointing
DraQ
Arcane
Failout 3:
Oblivious:
Oblivious:
In Oblivion we had:
Mindless copypasta:
also the reason why I wanted to punch retards defending OB by saying that rainforest doesn't have to mean jungle in their drooling little faces, shattering their malformed little jaws and sending the jagged bone shards into their, ironically misnamed, braincases, so they would emit loud pops as the air would rush through the newly created openings to fill the stagnant vacuum within.The Provinces of Tamriel said:
Uh-uh. I assume Tribunal Temple, as it's the same version as in Morrowind, and both Daggerfall and Morrowind confirm that the aedra worshippers aren't nearly prude enough:The Real Barenziah said:
Morrowind said:Daggerfall said:
What is fucking Tribunal Temple doing in my fucking Cyrodiil?
Engineered dumbfuckery:
The hell I am.Light Armor Repair said:
DLC said:
Bottomless ignorance:
Loldirectdescendantandnoaedricartifactsplusdaedricartifactsbeingpartsofdaedreexceptwhentheyarenotwut?
Premeditated rape:
Faux medieval temperate happyland with definitelynotcathedrals with quasichristian monks.
Ubiquitous obliviousness:
Everything is stupid, everyone behaves like a retard - nobles ignoring daedric invasion and/or opportunities for power grabs, Uriel ignoring everything but his possibly indigestion induced nightmares and dreamy %PCName's face, Baurus ignoring player being an escaped convict standing over quickly cooling body of the Emperor in a cul-de-sac with conspicuously bloodied sword in one hand and the sacred amulet of plot-embolism in another, Mages Guild ignoring magical research, necromancers ignoring TES not being clear cut standard DnD, general population ignoring opening gates, fire ignoring the city it's consuming, pickpockets ignoring numerous witnesses and victims staring at their hilariously conspicuous attempts at staying undetected, petty criminals ignoring perspective of swift death at the hands of guards, bandits ignoring dead bodies of their comrades lying around and arrows lodged in their own bottoms and daedra ignoring Nirn they are supposed to be invading.
Etc.
Also, retarded, counterimmersive scaling plus superheavy glass hammers.
Clockwork Knight
Arcane
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HarveyBirdman
Arbiter
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2019
- Messages
- 1,044
Tell that to the vault buried underground in need of a new water chip.https://www.oism.org/nwss/s73p919.htm
The dangers from drinking fallout contaminated water could be greatly lessened by using expedient settling and filtration methods to remove fallout particles and most of the dissolved radioactive material. Fortunately, in areas of heavy fallout, less than 2% of the radioactivity of the fallout particles contained in the water would become dissolved in water.
Filtering through earth removes essentially all of the fallout particles and more of the dissolved radioactive material than does boiling-water distillation, a generally impractical purification method that does not eliminate dangerous radioactive iodines. Earth filters are also more effective in removing radioactive iodines than are ordinary ion-exchange water softeners or charcoal filters. In areas of heavy fallout, about 99% of the radioactivity in water could be removed by filtering it through ordinary earth.
Yeah building a water filter 200 years after the war sure seems like the most necessary thing ever. There is no other way to filter water than to build a mega hightech water filter.
Anyway, getting back to how this tangent started: Fallout 3 may not have a good plot (or even a mediocre plot), but at least it's coherent. That's not much of a compliment. See Spot Run is also coherent.
Conversely, Baldur's Gate does not have a coherent plot. Characters behave irrationally at every turn.
Three Dog is just another hustler. Typical.I'm trying not to be critical of games I haven't played in ages. But the one thing I do remember being
Wunderbar
Arcane
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- Nov 15, 2015
- Messages
- 8,817
HarveyBirdman
Arbiter
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2019
- Messages
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yes.
deuxhero
Arcane
Tell that to the vault buried underground in need of a new water chip.https://www.oism.org/nwss/s73p919.htm
The dangers from drinking fallout contaminated water could be greatly lessened by using expedient settling and filtration methods to remove fallout particles and most of the dissolved radioactive material. Fortunately, in areas of heavy fallout, less than 2% of the radioactivity of the fallout particles contained in the water would become dissolved in water.
Filtering through earth removes essentially all of the fallout particles and more of the dissolved radioactive material than does boiling-water distillation, a generally impractical purification method that does not eliminate dangerous radioactive iodines. Earth filters are also more effective in removing radioactive iodines than are ordinary ion-exchange water softeners or charcoal filters. In areas of heavy fallout, about 99% of the radioactivity in water could be removed by filtering it through ordinary earth.
Yeah building a water filter 200 years after the war sure seems like the most necessary thing ever. There is no other way to filter water than to build a mega hightech water filter.
I don't think Vault 13's issue was anywhere implied to be radiation. I assumed it was the standard water recycling you'd expect in an enclosed civilization expected to last 200 years, hence why they have water storage that, with rationing, can be measured in months.
HarveyBirdman
Arbiter
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2019
- Messages
- 1,044
Option A: send a lone retard out into the wastes to find a chip that may not exist. Die of dysentery if he fails.Tell that to the vault buried underground in need of a new water chip.https://www.oism.org/nwss/s73p919.htm
The dangers from drinking fallout contaminated water could be greatly lessened by using expedient settling and filtration methods to remove fallout particles and most of the dissolved radioactive material. Fortunately, in areas of heavy fallout, less than 2% of the radioactivity of the fallout particles contained in the water would become dissolved in water.
Filtering through earth removes essentially all of the fallout particles and more of the dissolved radioactive material than does boiling-water distillation, a generally impractical purification method that does not eliminate dangerous radioactive iodines. Earth filters are also more effective in removing radioactive iodines than are ordinary ion-exchange water softeners or charcoal filters. In areas of heavy fallout, about 99% of the radioactivity in water could be removed by filtering it through ordinary earth.
Yeah building a water filter 200 years after the war sure seems like the most necessary thing ever. There is no other way to filter water than to build a mega hightech water filter.
I don't think Vault 13's issue was anywhere implied to be radiation. I assumed it was the standard water recycling you'd expect in an enclosed civilization expected to last 200 years.
Obtion B: drill a well. 100% chance of not succumbing to dysentery.
What's more plausible?
Clockwork Knight
Arcane
That's not much less retarded than a tribal. Watch out Caesar's legion, here comes THE FUCKING MAILMAN
I HAVE A PACKAGE FOR YOU
IT'S FULL OF PAIN
rusty_shackleford
Arcane
- Joined
- Jan 14, 2018
- Messages
- 50,754
I'd assume a courier in such a situation would likely be a pretty tough guy or else they'd be robbed and killed all the time
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