No Legion character references "a wife back home" in non-Legion runs. All it would take is one of the Legion characters to say such a thing, but there is none of it.
Since they're an army of slaves used to wage constant war, marriage would be a completely nonsensical thing for Legionnaires. At most, they're ordered to knock up some female slaves every once in a while before they're sent back into the field.
That's not how it works. There are men happy being Legionaries. We meet several in the game. We meet no women who are happy being with the Legion.
Of course the Legionnaires are happy, they've been brainwashed since birth to worship Caesar and know no other life.
I have discussed previously that the apparent misogynism portrayed in the game has nothing to do with the core Legion system, it was totally unnecessary, bad world building, not roman-like, an inconsistent gameplay device when the PC is female, and I believe it was done on purpose to undermine Caesar's system. Very disappointing moment in a favorite game with otherwise impressive world building.
Yes, there is a problem with some writers going too far with the misogyny angle making Legionnaires come off as undisciplined jocks. I think Sawyer even agreed with this when replying to a Tumblr question.
There is also the well-known problem of the game being slightly overscoped for the development period, which caused them to cut the planned non-frontier Legion areas which would have showed safe towns where men and women live their lives without being disturbed by their strange guardians.
But you keep refering to the Legion as soldiers and not slaves, which is simply wrong. A soldier may be conscripted into an army for a time, but the idea isn't that he or she will stay a soldier for the rest of their life.
A Legionnaire on the other hand, and let's make it clear that the Legion only consists of men, is chosen for the Legion at a young age. No one joins by choice. And no one quits the Legion, the only way out is death. Why?
Because the Legion is entirely made up of slaves. Beginning to end, Caesar owns them.
Female slaves in Legion territory are mostly used for breeding, but there are other uses. In the Fort you meet Siri who because of her previous medical training works as a healer, and Ranger Stella who due to her prowess at killing works as a gladiator.
None of these are happy about their lot in life because they are recent captures, but there should logically be women who've been raised since childhood to worship Caesar and would be happy to spread their legs for his cause. I don't think any are in the game though - again, the Legion was a victim of overscoping/not negotiating for a longer development time.
But while slavery is practiced in Caesar's territories and his army is entirely made up of them, there are free people living there as well (remember that Caesar controls four gigantic states). As the game doesn't take place there, I think the only one we meet is Dale Barton who hails from Arizona. He paints Legion territory as very safe, and that's how it logically should be for its subjects, allies and non-aligned visitors like the Courier (male or female).
The Legion are not savages. They are clearly the most disciplined faction in the entire game, and follows orders without question. If they're ordered to protect visitors they will do so until their last breath. If higher-ups believe visitors are NCR spies and order their Legionnaires to gangrape, enslave and crucify them, they will follow that order without blinking. They are extreme, and behave more like machines than men. A military officer's dream.
