Kodex Kommunistic Kastle. Fortress. Dwarf Fortress.

[baud]

WE ARE GOING DOWN THE CAVERNS FOR A GLOOOOOORIOUS MONSTER HUNTING!

A population of Redlabored is going to suddenly decline.

Considering what's in the caverns, I don't think it's just going to merely decline. Rather, I think it will be closer to completely disappear, exterminated by a titanesque monster from a time before time.

 

[InD_ImaginE]

WE ARE GOING DOWN THE CAVERNS FOR A GLOOOOOORIOUS MONSTER HUNTING!

A population of Redlabored is going to suddenly decline.

Considering what's in the caverns, I don't think it's just going to merely decline. Rather, I think it will be closer to completely disappear, exterminated by a titanesque monster from a time before time.

How strong is a mega beast anyway? In LP they are usually killed just by some magma canon or magma trap. If you fight it conventionally what would be needed?

 

[RoBoBOBR]

This one seems to be manageable (no dust/web/gas), but poisonous blood can bring some !!FUN!! when military gets covered by it during fight and then corpse haulers might get covered as well.

 

[ERYFKRAD]

Well if Kalin gets the bling ass Kommissar armor maybe he will get saner than he is now.

 

[vazha]

Since Lagole just got discharged, and considering our kkkommissar is widely known for open-mindedness and tolerance, I hereby request to be enlisted in prolebashers as a war correspondent. With my trusty rusty pickax at my side, the beast will most likely offer little resistance and opt for surrender.

 

[Andnjord]

How strong is a mega beast anyway? In LP they are usually killed just by some magma canon or magma trap. If you fight it conventionally what would be needed?

Normally most Beasts can be taken down by a normal decently trained and equipped squad of ten, albeit at the cost of the occasional casualty. Now, whether our Prolebashers are decently equipped OR trained is another matter entirely....

 

[Grimwulf]

How strong is a mega beast anyway? In LP they are usually killed just by some magma canon or magma trap. If you fight it conventionally what would be needed?

We'll manage. Got a gud feeling about this. Then again, I am mighty drunk at the moment.

TOMORROW I'll make some CHANGES in mah squad, and we're gonna PWN dat beast. Got a gud feeling. What can possibly go wrong

 

[Reinhardt]

If first squad fail we just need to send second.

 

[Inspectah]

Politikin' getting in the way of proper progress - fuckin Dentraded all over again
1 - Library for the ignorant. Get our gray matter working
2 - Metal district.
3 - Prison. A tavern and two dwarfs are all the reasoning needed.

 

[Helly]

So Helly was right! And about digging deeper, and about Kailn as kommissar. Poor Kassandra...

Everything is happening as planned.

 

[Reinhardt]

If only we had prison before all this happened...

 

[Inspectah]

By the by, the komissar replaces Kalin just in time for the glorious hunt.
Hmmmmmmm

 

[Storyfag]

If first squad fail we just need to send second.

We have reserves

 

[Reinhardt]

Grimwulf you should take Lithium Flower with you. If your broker is any gud he can just cut a deal with beast.

 

[Citizen]

You? You are just a GODDAMN KOMMISSAR!

Does that mean you're sending your savegame to Kalin and he's the one doing the updates now?

EDITED: Also I volunteer to be a part of the suicide anti-monster brigade

 

[Lagole Gon]

So I'm fired? Okay...

Unless Grimwulf is serious about taking over... but then vazha can just show up instead of me. It's not like Komissar can spot the difference.
That actually is a neat idea. A war reporter switches places with a recruit so he can write an article. Good hook for a comedy-action flick. And I can use all this free time to complain about posers EVEN MORE and maybe make something metal.

 

[Reinhardt]

I see now. Everything is clear.
Elves and deers don't do sieges - they have no honor. Instead they sent their spy to usurp broker position and prevent us from buying snazzy bonas item. "No caravans", suuuure. I bet they just raiding caravans moving to Redlabored.
So now gates are opened, half of the population working on surface and easy target to anyone, our only somewhat capable fighting group is leaving KKK to fight megabeast and even if they succeed traitors can just seal them in the caverns! AND NO KOMMISSAR!

I need to warn everyone!

 

[Reinhardt]

But who? Lithium Flower is a spy. Kalin was Helly's candidate. He supported Grimwulf but still - look at him now! Sukhāvatī sent dorfs to surface. I can't trust her. Sqeecoo... I have no idea where she is and what she's doing anyway. My only option is Azira. Maybe he at least can understand what i'm saying.

 

[Lagole Gon]

Fabulously Optimistic x 3

It means I'm going to the mines, doesn't it?

 

[Sukhāvatī]

Sukhāvatī. I can't trust her.

 

[Reinhardt]

Remember - it was me who made you manager. But today i can't trust anyone. Survival of KKK is my top priority.

I need something to read!

 

[Sukhāvatī]

Remember - it was me who made you manager

Blackmail.

But today i can't trust anyone.

Paranoia.

Survival of KKK is my top priority.

Sedition.

I need something to read!

Bourgeoisie desires.

 

[Kalin]

What's the point of being the Kommissar? What can he do?

Short answer: ANYTHING.

1. Rename himself. Or any other dwarf.
2. Imprison, exile, execute other dwarves.
3. Cancel elections.
4. Cancel voting.
5. Appoint whoever he wants to whatever positions. Or take them all for himself.
6. Take over the LP along with the save game.
7. Redesign entire fortress to his liking.
8. Feed the children to cave monsters.
9. Perform plastic surgery on Azira.
10. Make cheese

Literally WHATEVER the hell he/she wants. Just post your desires here in case you'll be elected, and I'll oblige.

The Kommissar does not simply lead KKK.

The Kommissar IS KKK.

Muh dear fellow cumrades... Hah! LISTEN UP SKRAGS! im da BIG MAN NOW! But! im not a petty persun - bygone bye gone! MY VIZUN: BONAZ EVRU DAY - FOREVUR! A happy FORTRESS begins with a happy KOMMISSAR! Now don worreh ima take a hands off appruch, aside from sum.... Minor adjustmints.

01. Kommissar? Fuck dat shit. Ima be known as STRONGMAN!
02. ALL carrot wine is STRONGMAN booze! Fetch it to me!
03. Any dorf found drinkin muh carrot wine shall be PUT TO DEATH!
04. ALL strawbraries are MINE!
05. Forugers must priorutize strawbraries and carrots
06. Ah need a gud GOBLET preferubly enkrustid with BLUE JADE
07. GEMS must be brought to STRONGMAN office for... Inspekshun
08. Gon need SNAZZY outfit!
09. Ima keepin mah silver warhammu... for sekurituh!
10. Andnjord! STRONGMAN demands FINE PEWTER for bonaz items! This is ABSOLUT priority!
11. I wanna pick up kraftin as a hobbu - bone kraftin, espeshully HORSE BONE!
12. Wanna cumpose a POEM to inspire the peepul... Dunno how
13. Any DORF who knows da Fancy Glittering Poem must prefurm it to me - with KREDIT
14. Gon need a YOUNG SINGUL DORF FEMOID for muh private sekrutary - she gon sleep in muh room obv.
15. If tradurs cum - new priorituh is to BUY GIANT WOLF TOOTH and HORSE BONE
16. Blubba is sentunced to 1 MONTH OF GULAG for disrespektun mah ATHORITY!
17. GLAZER! If KKK does nut have a glazer we must find one immediutly - ah need ARTSY stuff with ASH GLAZE!
18. If no hab GLAZER dan Reinhard will be sent to rekruit one!
19. Tamburin NEEDS A STATUE in itz likeness
20. KKK needs a new tempul... To ECUM FAIRRIGHTEOUS! Next to STRONGMAN office preferubly, chop chop!
21. Nutter Kin and Sukha will get speshul bonaz - within reasun obv. Selfushness in KKK will not be tolurated

Karry on!

 

[Grimwulf]

You'd better PRAY I don't survive in the fffffucking caverns! Coz right after I PWN this beast, itz YOUR ASS!!!

 

[Andnjord]

10. Andnjord! STRONGMAN demands FINE PEWTER for bonaz items! This is ABSOLUT priority!

I'd love to boss, but unless the miners have struck some cassiterite and haven't told me about it I cannot make any Fine Pewter. You see, to make fine pewter you need an ore of copper (which we have in the form of tetrahedrite) and an ore of tin, that is cassiterite, which as far as I'm aware we have none.