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In Progress [LP CYOA] Tower
- Thread starter treave
- Start date
Dun dun dunnn... Let's see if anyone gets plenty of "I told you so!" ammo. 
Goddammit none of you ever tell me anything! I'm a month behind on participation!
Well I'm here now and I'm going to start voting, whether yall like it or not!
treave , what's the accent of the fatty? The way you described him honestly made me think immediately of Tahm Kench. My first thought as he made his offer was that his method of transport would be to swallow us whole and force us to travel home in his belly.
Also, congratulations, you've earned the dubious distinction of being the second person on the Codex I'm going to stalk (after Grimwulf ).
If this one is a mark of your quality of DMing, I clearly have some serious catchup reading to do. What would you guys recommend I start with? Legend, I guess?
FWIW I would have voted C on this.
Well I'm here now and I'm going to start voting, whether yall like it or not!
treave , what's the accent of the fatty? The way you described him honestly made me think immediately of Tahm Kench. My first thought as he made his offer was that his method of transport would be to swallow us whole and force us to travel home in his belly.
Also, congratulations, you've earned the dubious distinction of being the second person on the Codex I'm going to stalk (after Grimwulf ).
If this one is a mark of your quality of DMing, I clearly have some serious catchup reading to do. What would you guys recommend I start with? Legend, I guess?
FWIW I would have voted C on this.
Baltika9
Arcane
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2012
- Messages
- 9,611
Legend or EPIC (depends on if you want chinese wuxia/mysticism or Greco-Sumero-Egyptian fantasy morphing into Sci-fi and mechas)->Overlord->Spiral->Magical Hobo Simulator 2020.
Obviously a discerning gentleman. Props for sifting through eighty pages of our in(s)anity.
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2012
- Messages
- 28,367
You scarcely say anything, how will anyone know what to tell you?
Welcome to sphere diplomacy.
I was waiting for you to catch up considering I got like 30 different notifications of you rating my posts while you were going through the thread. Oh and you rated my post about the gun as facepalm or not sure if serious, but Treave confirmed earlier that we wouldn't have misfired if we picked it, so eat it. And when B works out like I said it will, be ready to eat it then too.
Regardless, happy to have you!
a cut of domestic sheep prime
Guest
I feel less bad about not picking the gun now.
A Sphere Diplomat needs no weapons at all.
A Sphere Diplomat needs no weapons at all.
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2008
- Messages
- 11,370
Bogged down with a bit of work since other deadlines are coming up and I procrastinated on those a bit too much, expect the update in around 48 hours.
The accent is non-descript.
It's a lot more enjoyable with a receptive audience, so the DISCUSS! from everyone else is, as always, half of the fun of these threads.
The accent is non-descript.
It's a lot more enjoyable with a receptive audience, so the DISCUSS! from everyone else is, as always, half of the fun of these threads.
48 hours to wonder whether we'll be eaten. Better settle down then. 
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2012
- Messages
- 28,367
Bruh if we settle down we'll be easier to eat. Can't have that.
48 hours to wonder whether we'll be eaten. Better settle down then.
No, it's just wondering if we're going to get cooked before being eaten
a cut of domestic sheep prime
Guest
Well, there's still a chance we can get away in B. It just might be more costly.48 hours to wonder whether we'll be eaten. Better settle down then.
No, it's just wondering if we're going to get cooked before being eaten
Baltika9
Arcane
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2012
- Messages
- 9,611
We might as well elect to be served raw. 'British cuisine' is an oxymoron.48 hours to wonder whether we'll be eaten. Better settle down then.
No, it's just wondering if we're going to get cooked before being eaten
For some reason I get anxious when no posts are made in this thread for over a day or two. Treave is very good about updating us on whether or not an update is going to be delayed, but I still get an uneasy feeling that it's going to be abandoned or something else is going to come up which is going to really delay things.
Baltika9
Arcane
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2012
- Messages
- 9,611
a cut of domestic sheep prime
Guest
He usually only does that when we get ourselves killed by making an obviously stupid choice and he doesn't have it in him to write an update just to flush all that worldbuilding he did down the toilet.
Oh.
Oh...
- Joined
- Sep 25, 2012
- Messages
- 28,367
Not sure if the same can be said about the conscientious piscine friend.
Work can be a cruel mistress. We all know that. Take care of yourself foremost.
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2008
- Messages
- 11,370
The Ancient Jungle (IV)
“No.” That is all you say, shaking your head.
“No? Oh dear, oh my, is that a refusal I hear, hmm? Hmm, hmm?” The fat man’s smile appears strained. “Why on earth would you refuse such a wonderful offer, hmm? One has to wonder if your mental faculties are entirely present! Ah, no matter, perhaps the young lady over there would be more amenable to reason? What do you say, hmm?”
“I am truly sorry, but I will have to refuse too,” replies Sophie, encouraged by your refusal. ”You do not seem to be a trustworthy gentleman at all!”
“Dear me, what manner of children would be so, so… so ignorant...” The fat man gasps for his breath, smiling as he dabs at his forehead. “Tis poor times we live in, truly, truly poor times, such rudeness, such a lack of etiquette. Goodness, this distresses me so. It distresses me so, so, so, so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much, hmm? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?”
You begin to back away as his eyes roll around madly. The air turns heavier, more oppressive, and you can feel a tight squeezing in your chest. Sophie shrieks and tears her glasses from her eyes. She falls to the ground and curls up, hands over her eyes, screaming as she does.
John Bull’s grin does not go away at all, and in fact widens even more, more, and more, until his cheeks begin to split with a raw, tearing noise. And it continues to widen, even as the top half of his head begins to tilt backwards, and his lower jaw hangs slack. He bends over, showing you the gaping cavity in that wide open mouth. Within his mouth is a huge, yellow eye where his throat should be, staring back at you.
“Sophie, run,” you say quietly and firmly. Even as sweat runs down your brow and your legs feel like giving away against this alien terror, you know that you can’t afford to buckle. “Sophie!” you call out again, a bit more urgently.
Unfortunately, whatever she had seen still assails her. All she can manage is to get her screams under control. “My… my legs can’t move…” she wails, on her hands and knees.
Suddenly, the mist turns red, and shortly after bursts into flame, burning away as suddenly as it had appeared. An intense heat suffuses the entire area.
“Get down!” You hear Tlalli roar. You drop to your knees just as fire streaks over your head. Wreathed in incandescent crimson flames, Tlalli lands a dropkick on John Bull’s exposed eye, sending him flying. Without pausing, she draws her hand back as she lands. Innumerable serpents coil around her fingers and writhe together, transforming into a spear of flame. Letting out a spirited war cry, she slings the spear at John Bull. When the fiery lance strikes the fat man’s corpulent bulk, there is a tremendous explosion, the shockwave almost blowing you off your feet. You barely manage to cover Sophie with your own body in time as heat washes over your back.
You raise your head as dried mud falls back to the earth all around you, Tlalli’s visage seared into your eyes. The old woman is dressed in fire, wearing a crimson gown with a burning butterfly emblazoned across the chest. The roaring flames adorn her head in the shape of a tall, feathered crown, tribal in design. The only part of it that is not aflame is a shining turquoise set in its center. Feathers made of fire continuously shed from the wings at her back, and she has also grown a serpentine tail, burning away as it undulates ceaselessly.
Tlalli glares at the smouldering remains of John Bull. Just as you are about to get up, she yells at you, “Stay where you are! It’s not over yet!”
Someone begins to clap. “The Eye of Cuezaltzin burns as brightly as always, like a tiger in the jungle. Oh, how marvellous, how miraculous a sight, to behold the power of one of the mightiest Astras to walk the earth! Indeed, one would never get tired of witnessing the incarnation of Xiuhtecuhtli’s divine spirit into mortal flesh, hmm? But does the same hold true for you I wonder? How many more times can you perform a miracle?”
You look up, as does Tlalli. John Bull is there, perched on top of a tree like an immense, bloated bird. He grins, as if nothing had happened at all, and the burning heap of flesh on the ground none of his business.
“Come down here and I’ll show you how tired I am,” growls Tlalli. She hefts her macuahuitl in one hand and begins approaching the tree John Bull is on. With every step she takes, she cracks the surface of the dried mud, leaving behind solid footprints from the heat.
He bounces up and down on the tree excitedly. “Oh my, oh dear, that would be vexatious indeed. I only came here to talk, Grand Old Lady. I truly mean you no harm.”
“I would be well and truly lost of my mind if I trusted the Cannibal Duke at his word,” Tlalli spits.
“Why, I never! Oh, but had you by some means been caught unawares, you could not blame me for taking a little bite out of you at such an opportunity then, hmm? All in good sport!”
“Enough out of you!” Tlalli swings her weapon – it slices clean through the thick trunk, setting it on fire. The tall tree falls with a loud crash, but John Bull is nowhere to be seen. All that remains is his disembodied voice, echoing in the air.
“Oh, such anger! Such a burning hatred you have there, madam! Thankfully, my task is done, having indeed spoken to you as requested of me. A satisfactory jaunt indeed, hmm? Our paths shall cross again some time, or in no time at all, or perhaps in a long, long time! So for now, farewell, and toodle-oo!”
Tlalli stands alert, waiting, watching. A frown set deeply on her wrinkled face, she sighs after a while. The fire disappears, turning back into the winged serpent that usually accompanies her, and the atmosphere cools down tangibly – though not by much, given the jungle that you are in. She turns to you, and says, “Boy… after this, follow Bernard. He’ll know where to go.” Then, she collapses.
“Hey, what’s going on! Why didn’t anyone come? The monster got away! It was really scary but really fun! Are we going after it again?” At that moment, Elizabeth comes bounding in like a ball full of excitement, Bernard following close behind her. She takes a look at you, and then at the shivering Sophie, and then at the fallen Tlalli, and says, “Oh no.”
***
Bernard did indeed know the way, and with the big cat’s help, you manage to haul the unconscious Tlalli all the way back to the outpost she spoke of earlier. It turns out to be a rather solidly built hut, better than the one you lived in while hunting in the forest. The inside of the hut sports a comfy fireplace and a decent bed. Books are stacked high near the walls, and there is a larder full of canned food. After Tlalli is laid out in the bed, Sophie begins cleaning up the place without being asked to. Elizabeth, on the other hand, starts rummaging through chests and drawers; when asked, she claims to be looking for things that might help Tlalli, though it’s just as likely that she’s just trying to dig out anything interesting.
***
Now that things have settled down a bit and you are not going anywhere until Tlalli wakes up, you have some time to your own.
You could invite someone along with you for this activity. You decide to try and invite:
“No.” That is all you say, shaking your head.
“No? Oh dear, oh my, is that a refusal I hear, hmm? Hmm, hmm?” The fat man’s smile appears strained. “Why on earth would you refuse such a wonderful offer, hmm? One has to wonder if your mental faculties are entirely present! Ah, no matter, perhaps the young lady over there would be more amenable to reason? What do you say, hmm?”
“I am truly sorry, but I will have to refuse too,” replies Sophie, encouraged by your refusal. ”You do not seem to be a trustworthy gentleman at all!”
“Dear me, what manner of children would be so, so… so ignorant...” The fat man gasps for his breath, smiling as he dabs at his forehead. “Tis poor times we live in, truly, truly poor times, such rudeness, such a lack of etiquette. Goodness, this distresses me so. It distresses me so, so, so, so so so so so so so so so so so so so so much, hmm? Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm?”
You begin to back away as his eyes roll around madly. The air turns heavier, more oppressive, and you can feel a tight squeezing in your chest. Sophie shrieks and tears her glasses from her eyes. She falls to the ground and curls up, hands over her eyes, screaming as she does.
John Bull’s grin does not go away at all, and in fact widens even more, more, and more, until his cheeks begin to split with a raw, tearing noise. And it continues to widen, even as the top half of his head begins to tilt backwards, and his lower jaw hangs slack. He bends over, showing you the gaping cavity in that wide open mouth. Within his mouth is a huge, yellow eye where his throat should be, staring back at you.
“Sophie, run,” you say quietly and firmly. Even as sweat runs down your brow and your legs feel like giving away against this alien terror, you know that you can’t afford to buckle. “Sophie!” you call out again, a bit more urgently.
Unfortunately, whatever she had seen still assails her. All she can manage is to get her screams under control. “My… my legs can’t move…” she wails, on her hands and knees.
Suddenly, the mist turns red, and shortly after bursts into flame, burning away as suddenly as it had appeared. An intense heat suffuses the entire area.
“Get down!” You hear Tlalli roar. You drop to your knees just as fire streaks over your head. Wreathed in incandescent crimson flames, Tlalli lands a dropkick on John Bull’s exposed eye, sending him flying. Without pausing, she draws her hand back as she lands. Innumerable serpents coil around her fingers and writhe together, transforming into a spear of flame. Letting out a spirited war cry, she slings the spear at John Bull. When the fiery lance strikes the fat man’s corpulent bulk, there is a tremendous explosion, the shockwave almost blowing you off your feet. You barely manage to cover Sophie with your own body in time as heat washes over your back.
You raise your head as dried mud falls back to the earth all around you, Tlalli’s visage seared into your eyes. The old woman is dressed in fire, wearing a crimson gown with a burning butterfly emblazoned across the chest. The roaring flames adorn her head in the shape of a tall, feathered crown, tribal in design. The only part of it that is not aflame is a shining turquoise set in its center. Feathers made of fire continuously shed from the wings at her back, and she has also grown a serpentine tail, burning away as it undulates ceaselessly.
Tlalli glares at the smouldering remains of John Bull. Just as you are about to get up, she yells at you, “Stay where you are! It’s not over yet!”
Someone begins to clap. “The Eye of Cuezaltzin burns as brightly as always, like a tiger in the jungle. Oh, how marvellous, how miraculous a sight, to behold the power of one of the mightiest Astras to walk the earth! Indeed, one would never get tired of witnessing the incarnation of Xiuhtecuhtli’s divine spirit into mortal flesh, hmm? But does the same hold true for you I wonder? How many more times can you perform a miracle?”
You look up, as does Tlalli. John Bull is there, perched on top of a tree like an immense, bloated bird. He grins, as if nothing had happened at all, and the burning heap of flesh on the ground none of his business.
“Come down here and I’ll show you how tired I am,” growls Tlalli. She hefts her macuahuitl in one hand and begins approaching the tree John Bull is on. With every step she takes, she cracks the surface of the dried mud, leaving behind solid footprints from the heat.
He bounces up and down on the tree excitedly. “Oh my, oh dear, that would be vexatious indeed. I only came here to talk, Grand Old Lady. I truly mean you no harm.”
“I would be well and truly lost of my mind if I trusted the Cannibal Duke at his word,” Tlalli spits.
“Why, I never! Oh, but had you by some means been caught unawares, you could not blame me for taking a little bite out of you at such an opportunity then, hmm? All in good sport!”
“Enough out of you!” Tlalli swings her weapon – it slices clean through the thick trunk, setting it on fire. The tall tree falls with a loud crash, but John Bull is nowhere to be seen. All that remains is his disembodied voice, echoing in the air.
“Oh, such anger! Such a burning hatred you have there, madam! Thankfully, my task is done, having indeed spoken to you as requested of me. A satisfactory jaunt indeed, hmm? Our paths shall cross again some time, or in no time at all, or perhaps in a long, long time! So for now, farewell, and toodle-oo!”
Tlalli stands alert, waiting, watching. A frown set deeply on her wrinkled face, she sighs after a while. The fire disappears, turning back into the winged serpent that usually accompanies her, and the atmosphere cools down tangibly – though not by much, given the jungle that you are in. She turns to you, and says, “Boy… after this, follow Bernard. He’ll know where to go.” Then, she collapses.
“Hey, what’s going on! Why didn’t anyone come? The monster got away! It was really scary but really fun! Are we going after it again?” At that moment, Elizabeth comes bounding in like a ball full of excitement, Bernard following close behind her. She takes a look at you, and then at the shivering Sophie, and then at the fallen Tlalli, and says, “Oh no.”
***
Bernard did indeed know the way, and with the big cat’s help, you manage to haul the unconscious Tlalli all the way back to the outpost she spoke of earlier. It turns out to be a rather solidly built hut, better than the one you lived in while hunting in the forest. The inside of the hut sports a comfy fireplace and a decent bed. Books are stacked high near the walls, and there is a larder full of canned food. After Tlalli is laid out in the bed, Sophie begins cleaning up the place without being asked to. Elizabeth, on the other hand, starts rummaging through chests and drawers; when asked, she claims to be looking for things that might help Tlalli, though it’s just as likely that she’s just trying to dig out anything interesting.
***
Now that things have settled down a bit and you are not going anywhere until Tlalli wakes up, you have some time to your own.
A. You go through the books in the hut to see if there is anything interesting to read.
B. You practice your arithmetic.
C. You scout out the immediate surroundings for any helpful herbs you can use.
B. You practice your arithmetic.
C. You scout out the immediate surroundings for any helpful herbs you can use.
You could invite someone along with you for this activity. You decide to try and invite:
1. Elizabeth.
2. Sophie.
3. Bernard.
4. No one.
2. Sophie.
3. Bernard.
4. No one.
Nevill
Arcane
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2009
- Messages
- 11,211
Nooo! Gram-gram Tlalli!
And let this be a warning to anyone foolish enough to trust the British.
I summon thee, Lambchop!
Give them the best "I told you so" you've got!
C. You scout out the immediate surroundings for any helpful herbs you can use.
A. You go through the books in the hut to see if there is anything interesting to read.
3. Bernard.
2. Sophie.
...I'd take one of the girls along too, but I am not sure Sophie is up to more exploration, and Liz... Hmm. Maybe? It's between the Kitty and Liz.
Though maybe we should check on our sis? She seems to be doing fine, but that was some real horrorshow, and she is afraid of ghost stories. I can imagine she might be having nightmares for some time.
And let this be a warning to anyone foolish enough to trust the British.
I summon thee, Lambchop!
Give them the best "I told you so" you've got!
A. You go through the books in the hut to see if there is anything interesting to read.
2. Sophie.
...I'd take one of the girls along too, but I am not sure Sophie is up to more exploration, and Liz... Hmm. Maybe? It's between the Kitty and Liz.
Though maybe we should check on our sis? She seems to be doing fine, but that was some real horrorshow, and she is afraid of ghost stories. I can imagine she might be having nightmares for some time.
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Baltika9
Arcane
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2012
- Messages
- 9,611
A2>C1, let's go through a monster hunter's library with Sophie, or get some bonding time with Liz. We may even find something on Rain's people, or some medicinal (or medicinal) herbs. Bernard can keep Sophie and Grandma safe.
Oh, and I told you so.
Gram-gram is fukkin awesome. Ras-who-tin?
Oh, and I told you so.
Gram-gram is fukkin awesome. Ras-who-tin?
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