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In Progress 东方蓝: Peanut's revenge! A HoI 4 Ret's Pray

Discussion in 'Codex Playground' started by Jugashvili, May 25, 2019.

  1. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2013
    Messages:
    1,948
    Location:
    Georgia, Asia
    Codex 2013
    It's been five years since my critically acclaimed HoI3 let's play, 东方红, was released! Five years of unfulfilled promises, chronic procrastination and life getting in the way, and over these five years, things have been going from bad to worse. Greens winning the elections! Burkina Faso withdrawing diplomatic recognition! The price of tea eggs almost doubling!

    Is there no one to remedy this and set things right? The time has finally come, it's time for...

    [​IMG]

    东方: Peanut's Revenge


    目录

    前言:穿越剧之谜

    第一章:心脏病



    前言: The mystery of the time travel show

    October 1971. A top-secret bunker somewhere near Cihu.

    [​IMG]
    Gee, it sure is boring around here. Let's see what my subordinates have brought me to watch on the teevee.

    [​IMG] Golly, I'm glad to be alive after that high voltage power line fell on me! Wait, where am I? I must have time travelled to the Qing dynasty!

    [​IMG] Ha ha! Traveling through time after being electrocuted. How trite. I can't believe people watch th-

    [​IMG] Supreme Commander! Supreme Commander! Bad news!

    [​IMG] What, is Meiling finally leaving me? Good riddance, I say.

    [​IMG] No, nothing like that, Supreme Commander. The UN has decided to recognize the PRC. I'm afraid we're going to have to call off Project National Glory.

    [​IMG] What? And just where do you think I'll be buried unless we retake the Mainland?

    [​IMG] ... I... I guess we'll have to put you in an ice box or something until that happens, Supreme Commander, that is...

    [​IMG] ...

    [​IMG] I... I understand that you are upset, Supreme Commander. I will leave now.

    [​IMG] ...

    [​IMG] ...fuck this. I'm done with this shit. My whole life is a failure. There is no turning this around anymore. I might as well end it all.

    [​IMG] Unless...

    A few moments later

    [​IMG] ZZZZZAPPPP!

    [​IMG] Supreme Commander? What was that noise?

    [​IMG] Wait, where has the Supreme Commander gone? Men! Come quick! The Supreme Commander has disappeared!

    Meanwhile


    [​IMG] Where am I? What is this place?

    [​IMG] Welcome back, young grasshopper. I was wondering how long it would take you to stick your fingers in that socket. I even had to insert VHS technology and a goddamn TV drama in your timeline years ahead of schedule to get you to align the dots.

    [​IMG] Sun Zhongshan? Is this heaven? Am I dead?

    [​IMG] Not quite. We are just on a different plane.

    [​IMG] What kind of plane? Soviet or American?

    [​IMG] Ever the hylic, I see. By plane I do not mean an aeroplane, but rather another dimension of reality. There is more to our universe than meets the senses.

    [​IMG] I see. And what exactly am I doing here?

    [​IMG] You have work to do, sonny. While you were wasting your time on that rock of yours, another plane-walker, Jugashvili, has been getting ahead of us. Have a look:

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Painting bad-looking maps with faux-cyrillic letters?

    [​IMG] No. He has been tampering with the underlying fabric of reality. Version three of it, to be specific.

    [​IMG] I don't quite follow.

    [​IMG] All will be explained in due time. The fact is that I have managed to get my hands on a newer version that should allow us to override his. With this tool, we can rewrite the material world and the Demiurge will be none the wiser.

    [​IMG] ...I want to go home.

    [​IMG] There is no turning back now. I have turned the clock back to 1936. Surely you must be feeling younger already.

    [​IMG] I was wondering why my joints didn't ache anymore.

    [​IMG] You do still have gonorrhea, however.

    [​IMG] Darn. Well, you don't look like a spring chicken yourself, uncle Sun.

    [​IMG] I just happen to feel the wizened old man look adds to my aura of respectability. Now, are you ready? You should take these, just in case:

    Received 1 x Health Potion, 1 x Stamina Potion, 1 x Magicka Potion

    [​IMG] [​IMG] [​IMG]

    [​IMG] What are these?

    [​IMG] Just a little something to help you along. Now, hang onto your hat, it's time to set things right! 1936, here we come!

    [​IMG] Aaaaaaaah!


    Under the wise guidance of uncle Sun, will Peanut be able to overcome his own frailties and change the course of history? Will I be able to get used to HoI4 and its meme mechanics? Stay tuned for more!
     
    Last edited: May 28, 2019
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  2. daveyarsegallant Savant

    daveyarsegallant
    Joined:
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    Niggeria
    No medicine for the gonorrhea? Dick move Uncle Sun.
     
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  3. Kipeci Magister

    Kipeci
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    Is this starting in the default scenario?
     
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  4. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Codex 2013
    Yes, 1936 start, everything standard. This is pretty much my first playthrough of HoI4 as I was a bit put off by it the first time I approached it a few years ago and I only fucked around with it a little to get a hold of the mechanics. I've already "shot" the first episode and will post it as soon as I have time to write the narrative larp and memery behind it.
     
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  5. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
    Joined:
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    Codex 2013
    第一章: 心脏病

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Famine, warlords and no indoor plumbing! It's good to be back.

    [​IMG] I'm glad to see you in such high spirits. As you can see, we have work to do.

    [​IMG] To the North, the threat of the Jap devils looms ominously on the horizon...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Are you sure this is 1936? Beiping is actually marked as Beijing on the map, lulz

    [​IMG] It is a Paradox.

    [​IMG] Is this some kind of double entendre?

    [​IMG] You're catching on pretty quickly. Now, pay attention.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Buried like ticks in the tawny mountains of Shaanxi, the Communists ready their next move. They lack electricity, tanks and aeroplanes, but their size belies their true power.

    [​IMG] Now here is a sight that makes my blood boil! I bet you're going to give me some bullshit lecture about the need to form a united front and how I should work with them against the Japanese.

    [​IMG] Nothing of the sort. I want you to go wild on them.

    [​IMG] R-really? As in now?

    [​IMG] No, not right away. Your attack will fail like so many others if you do so right away. First, we must prepare.

    [​IMG] O-okay...

    [​IMG] The equipment of our armies is woefully inadequate. First we will need some proper infantry small arms. Ripping off some German designs would be the most expedient way to go about it.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Nice! I will baptize this new rifle... the Zhongzheng rifle!

    [​IMG] Modest as ever, I see. Now, have a look at this. We have been assigned the meme doctrine. Are we a meme to the world, Jiang?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] "Mass assault" indeed! Everyone knows the human wave is the acme of strategy.

    [​IMG] ...just what did they teach you in military academy in Japan?

    [​IMG] Well, for one thing, I cut a dashing figure on horseback.

    [​IMG] Sounds like it was a waste of time.

    [​IMG] I could say the same about you and your stint in medical school, """doctor""" Sun.

    [​IMG] Ah, err, well, let's get back to the subject. We're not going to conform to the stereotype. If we are to counter the Japanese, overwhelming firepower is where it's at. Since we have little to no hope of ever fielding tanks, we will put our faith in artillery to do the killing.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] For that, we will have to get the wheels of industry in motion and devote ourselves wholeheartedly to land warfare. The seas and skies are as good as lost to us and will only put a drain on our scarce resources.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] For now we will reorganize all our infantry divisions into triangular divisions, and once we have artillery, we will attach a fourth regiment.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Now, it's time for some theory! Our Republic is built on Sun Zhongshan thought, is it not?

    [​IMG] Of course! I was top of my class in Sun Zhongshan thought.

    [​IMG] Good! Do you remember the three principles of the people?

    [​IMG] Err, of course! I have named many streets after them. I should know.

    [​IMG] Something tells me it's time for a refresher course. These principles are meant to be implemented, not just to be used in naming streets.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Now then! The matter of organizing the army I will leave to you. Have you considered a candidate to lead our northern army?

    [​IMG] There is Sun Liren. He's good, but I don't trust him.

    [​IMG] Military talent must run in the family. Make good use of him.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Beyond that, we must develop military doctrine. Any ideas?

    [​IMG] Absolutely! I will whip the men into shape.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Are you sure this is the right way to go about it?

    [​IMG] By all means! Pushups and jumping jacks are part of the cutting-edge doctrinal development process we have come up with at Huangpu military academy.

    [​IMG] Well, you're the expert. Anyhow, it's time for our mid-term exam. Have you been brushing up on your three principles of the people?

    [​IMG] Yes indeed! They are nation, democracy and the people's livelihood!

    [​IMG] Good man! You have passed the test!

    [​IMG] YES!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Now then, do you have a favorite principle?

    [​IMG] Oh come on, uncle Sun. You know I'm all about the minzu.

    [​IMG] I thought as much. Let's get cracking!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Reporting! We have successfully procured and reverse-engineered the designs for the German k98. Production of the new rifles should begin shortly.

    [​IMG] Yunong, long time no see!

    [​IMG] A friend of yours?

    [​IMG] Former Huangpu alumnus. We go way back.

    [​IMG] I've also got some plans for a German field gun, if you're interested.

    [​IMG] Yes, yes, do that! Good old Dai Li. I wonder where he gets all that stuff.

    [​IMG] Better not ask.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Now then, it's time for your first lesson about the first principle of the people. Know now that the Japanese are a disease of the skin, but communists are a disease of the heart.

    [​IMG] YES!

    [​IMG] Wait, that's my line.

    [​IMG] It's mine now, just like all the money I "borrowed" during my fundraising trips.

    [​IMG] ...

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] We will need all the help we can get to subjugate the warlords. It's not like your Huangpu-trained officer corps is top-notch.

    [​IMG] plz no bully Sun

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Ready or not, time is not on our side. It is time to draw a line in the sand.

    [​IMG] I will write to the warlords.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Meanwhile, our new guns are ready, and my jumping jacks are paying off.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] I still struggle to see the link between jumping jacks and attaching artillery to our divisions.

    [​IMG] Well, the men need to be strong enough to pull the guns, you see!

    [​IMG] That makes sense... I guess. Not like it will make much of a difference, production is positively sluggish. However, every bit helps.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] By the way, congratulations on how you have dealt with the warlords. Only Xinjiang has told us to fuck off, but that was to be expected.

    [​IMG] Well, I'm not very happy. Ma Bufang accepted on the condition that I should have my picture taken with him. Look at this, he makes me look like a manlet!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Don't beat yourself up, 5'6 is perfectly average.

    [​IMG] It's not like you're any taller yourself.

    [​IMG] Anyhow, it's anti-Communist rhetoric time. Are you ready?

    [​IMG] Is the Pope Catholic?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Time is of the essence, and we will not have time to reform the army before the invasion starts. We should start laying the groundwork for reform and draw lessons from the coming conflict.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Now is the time to finish what I started! Surround Shaanxi! Let no-one escape! I will travel to the front to lead the invasion.

    [​IMG] Good. But Jiang...

    [​IMG] What?

    [​IMG] Don't get yourself kidnapped this time.

    As all-out war for the mountain fortress of Yan'an is about to break out, the covetous Japanese await their chance to strike. Will Peanut manage to wipe out the communists before the Japanese are upon him? Stay tuned for next week's dramatic episode!
     
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  6. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
    Joined:
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    Location:
    Georgia, Asia
    Codex 2013
    第二章:脱毛

    [​IMG] Before we declare war, there is something I would like to show you.

    [​IMG] What?

    [​IMG] A few words of encouragement from our fans... in the FUTURE!



    [​IMG] Feels good, man

    [​IMG] Don't get to carried away, now. Much remains to be done!

    [​IMG]

    The year is 1936 and Peanut, with a little help from a time-travelling Sun Zhongshan, has surrounded Shaanxi and prepares to exact his revenge for twenty-five years stuck on Paradise Island! As his divisions finish moving into position in neighboring warlord territory, war is declared and the attack is sounded from all sides!

    Meanwhile, in Yan'an...

    [​IMG] Jugashvili, what the fuck? This isn't what was supposed to happen!

    [​IMG] I have no idea how the AI suddenly got so good. Unless...

    [​IMG] AI? What are you on about?

    [​IMG] Never mind that. We're deep in it, Mao.

    [​IMG] What are we going to do?

    [​IMG] Hold out until the Japs attack... I guess. The Marco Polo bridge incident should be due soon. AI should go berserk and start shuffling divisions around incoherently at that point. It's our only hope.

    [​IMG] Here you go again with your babbling. I will see to the defence.

    Meanwhile...

    [​IMG] Men! ATTACK! Check out my new threads, uncle Sun! How do I look?

    [​IMG] Silly. Take them off.

    [​IMG] ... okay

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] ...and the clever bit, you see, is that we'll attack around their bunkers, not against them. You see?

    [​IMG] That's... very clever, your excellency, yes. Surely no-one could have come up with that idea before.

    [​IMG] Right you are! You see, I attacked them head-on in my previous campaigns but it was only a clever ruse to make them become overconfident and then...

    [​IMG] Are you done bragging, Jiang? General Sun has things to do.

    [​IMG] Oh! Yes, of course. Carry on then. And don't forget! Around the bunkers, not against them.

    [​IMG] Words to live by, Your Excellency.

    [​IMG] What a nice fellow.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] We've been at it for over a month now and we've made very little gain.

    [​IMG] That is because your officer corps is a shambles, Jiang. You should have allotted less hours to playing shuttlecock and more hours to military theory in Huangpu.

    [​IMG] Shuttlecock is the sport of kings and the mark of a true gentleman. But yes, I agree. It is not proving to have much practical value in attacking mountain fortresses. I will set about to remedy this post-haste.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Excellency, we have taken a number of enemy fortifications!

    [​IMG] You FOOL! Those bunkers will be your undoing. What did I tell you about bypa -- what did you just say?

    [​IMG] We have taken them, your excellency. The enemy has been forced to withdraw troops to defend the capital and they were lightly guarded.

    [​IMG] Oh! Good... good!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Well, it seems my military genius is paying off! Yan'an is surrounded!

    [​IMG] Let's not get ahead of ourselves, however. All assaults against the settlement have failed. Their defences are indeed formidable.

    [​IMG] So what? We'll get them, sooner or later.

    [​IMG] You do not understand. Time is not on our side.

    [​IMG] What are they going to do, then? Dig their way out?

    [​IMG] *cough cough* shitsureishimasu, Pinattsu-san!

    [​IMG] Who the hell are you?

    [​IMG] I have come to give you my gommenasais. I'm afraid your men have caused us gureat dishonna in Beiping. For such a shamefur dispray we require reparations or this wirr be WAR.

    [​IMG] Is this guy for real? Come and get us, you and your """army""" of xiao riben are no match for the zhonghua minguo, let me tell you buddy we...

    [​IMG] May I talk to you for a second?

    [​IMG] What? I was just telling that Jap to get stuffed

    [​IMG] Yes, about that, err... you may not like what I'm about to tell you... *whispers*

    [​IMG] Say WHAT?

    Much persuading later...

    [​IMG] Yes, err, sorry about earlier, Lilin-san or whatever you call yourself. We have nothing but respect towards out little Japanese friends and would be delighted to give you "gomennasais", as I believe you call them, for your "toraboru". What a lovely culture you have. I love sushi!

    [​IMG] Beri guddo! I am grad to see you have come to reason. Jaa, mata, my bald friend!

    [​IMG] Haha, baka Chinese do not know this is but postponing the inevitable. Now, China... tomorrow, ZE WARUDO!

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] Damn, uncle Sun, I feel terrible.

    [​IMG] Did we not go over this earlier? Diseases of the skin, diseases of the heart? This is but a reprieve, but the siege is not won yet. Take this time to crush your internal enemy before we face the Japanese in earnest!

    [​IMG] I hope you know what you're doing...

    As the bloody siege of Yan'an drags on, Jiang buys precious time from the Japanese in exchange for humiliating concessions and allows the Japanese to inch ever-closer to Nanjing and Shanghai! Will the gambit pay off? Stay tuned for next week's thrilling installment!
     
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  7. Kipeci Magister

    Kipeci
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    Are the communists doing that thing where they gradually flip your territory? I recall it being about impossible to fight against other than killing them quickly because you could only influence in favor of democracy, fascism or communism, nothing for the generic authoritarianism they grouped the Republic of China in.
     
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  8. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
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    Codex 2013
    They'll try, but Peanut's got this. The siege will drag on for a few more months, though, due to the insane defence bonuses.
     
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  9. shywn Learned

    shywn
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  10. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
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    Indeed. I changed computers recently and have lost some of my stuff but the LP is completely shot and all that remains is doing the writing. I'll get back to it eventually.
     
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  11. Thor Kaufman Arcane Zionist Agent

    Thor Kaufman
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    ✨✡️✨ King of the Jews ✨✡️✨
    consider putting your generals under a field marshal as well
     
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  12. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
    Joined:
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    第三章:攘外必先安内

    Having pacified the Japanese under such humiliating terms, there is not a man in China who doesn't hate Peanut's guts. Can he change their minds? As grumbling spreads throughout the ranks, the Nationalist army remains locked in a life-or-death struggle against the Communist defenders in Yan'an!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Did you see how general Zhang looked at me in the officer's mess, uncle Sun? I was afraid he'd stab me with a chopstick!

    [​IMG] If you think that's bad, you don't want to know what they say about you behind your back.

    [​IMG] What? What do they say? Tell me!

    [​IMG] I'm not telling you.

    [​IMG] Fuck you uncle Sun! You're always treating me as if I were a child! I'm sick and tired of your...

    [​IMG] Excuse me

    [​IMG] What is it, private? Are you here to bully me too? What are people saying about me?

    [​IMG] I-I really wouldn't know, Sir, I'm just here to deliver this message from Emperor Hirohito.

    [​IMG] Hirohito? I've just about had enough of these Japs, hand it over...

    [​IMG] Dear Pinattsu-san: Thank you for all the land! Don't think I won't be coming for more, though! Mata ne ~ ÒwÓ

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Rotten swine! Everyone hates me! Life is so unfair

    [​IMG] Now, now, Peanut. Look on the bright side. We're reforming our army. The Japanese won't feel so cocky when they're up against our new forces.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Sir, another message!

    [​IMG] What, again? Don't tell me --

    [​IMG] Dear Pinattsu-san: Your new army is so kawaii! [Translator's note: kawaii means cute] I look forward to beating it when I take the rest of Shina.

    [​IMG]


    [​IMG] ...

    [​IMG] Pay no attention to him. It's time to prepare our defenses and war industry!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Now, Peanut, have you considered appointing a chief of the armed forces?

    [​IMG] Why yes, as a matter of fact, I think I'd make an excellent chief of the army!

    [​IMG] No, I mean -- look, Peanut, don't you think you should delegate a little instead of micromanaging every single aspect of the country?

    [​IMG] Why not? As my dear mother Caiyu used to say, I'm a very clever boy.

    [​IMG] Be that as it may -- just -- just sign the appointment, will you? I've got the paperwork ready.

    [​IMG] Oh, very well...

    [​IMG]

    Meanwhile, the long siege in Yan'an takes a turn for the worse as nationalist forces finally begin to make inroads into Communist defenses! Is it over for Mao and Jugs?

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] I never should have listened to you.

    [​IMG] Not all is lost! While Peanut here has been flinging bodies at our defenses, I have been working behind the scenes a little. There is someone I would like you to meet.

    [​IMG] Gentlemen, we meet at last.

    [​IMG] Zh -- Zhang Xueliang?!?

    Meanwhile...

    [​IMG] Construction of our fixed defenses continues apace. Now, if you don't mind, we should move onto the second phase of construction.

    [​IMG] Good, good, you do that, will you? Now if you'll excuse me I'll be in my office handling some important business.

    [​IMG] Oh, yes, the aeronautics project. I must say, your paper aeroplanes are getting better and better.

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] Time for some high-energy paper aeroplane folding! Now let's see... oh, hello, what's this? Someone's left a note on this piece of paper!

    [​IMG] General Jiang, I have found a secret entrance to the enemy fortifications. Meet me by the abandoned bunker on Hill 273 at nightfall. Come alone.

    [​IMG] How exciting -- secret agent work! Count me in.

    Later that evening...

    [​IMG] I don't think anybody recognized me when I left camp with these dark glasses! Zhongzheng you devil, you. Now, where's that bunker... oh, there it is...

    *THUD*

    [​IMG]

    A few hours later...

    [​IMG] Wh-where am I?

    [​IMG] Welcome to CPC headquarters... Generalissimo.

    [​IMG] General Zhang! You rotten swine, you've sold me out, haven't you? I should have known when you gave me the stinkeye in the mess hall the other day! I'll have your head for this!

    [​IMG] Big talk for a national traitor, a Quisling, a Benedict Arnold!

    [​IMG] Me, a traitor? I had to pacify the exterior before resisting the interior! Or vice-versa! Anyhow, what do you want from me?

    [​IMG] We only want to sign a truce. Surely, presenting a united front against the Japanese is preferable to continuing this pointless slaughter?

    [​IMG] Never! You bandits! I was so close! You will not rob me of my victory if it's the last thing I do! I'll...

    [​IMG] In that case, you leave us no choice...

    [​IMG] *gasp*

    All of a sudden, SUN ZHONGSHAN bursts into the room with a brace of C96s, followed by a squad of Nationalist soldiers, guns-a blazing!

    [​IMG] Don't worry, Peanut, here I am! The jig is up, Mao!

    [​IMG] What -- how?

    [​IMG] Welp, it's been nice nice meeting ya. Time to trot!

    As JUGASHVILI vanishes into thin air, Nationalist soldiers stream into the room and apprehend MAO while SUN unties JIANG from his chair.

    [​IMG] Ha-ha! Take THAT, Mao Zedong! I bet you didn't expect that! In fact, even I didn't expect that. What just happened, uncle Sun?

    [​IMG] It all started when general Zhang was approached by the Georgian with the mustache to try to talk him into betraying you. We decided to play along and let you get kidnapped so that they would lead you to their headquarters.

    [​IMG] And I'd have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling Nationalists!

    [​IMG] You pieces of shit! You could have got me killed!

    [​IMG] Come now, come now, in the end you brilliant strategy bore fruit, did it not?

    [​IMG] My brilliant strategy? Oh, yes, of course! I had planned this from the start. Good work, Sun and Zhang! Dismissed!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG] "Benedict Arnold" indeed! I have united the land, defeated the rebels and will soon expel the invaders. Truly, I will be remembered as a 华盛顿 of my country.

    [​IMG] 华盛顿? Moar liek 花生豆, amirite?

    [​IMG] Ahaha! Good one, uncle Sun. I'll forgive you just this once.

    With the Communists stamped out and Hirohito itching for a fight, Peanut sets off for a confrontation of epic proportions. Will his armies hold fast against the Japanese devils? Stay tuned for our next installment!
     
    Last edited: Oct 13, 2019
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  13. Chaosdwarft Learned Patron

    Chaosdwarft
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    I can't give brofists yet. But man I am entertained. Are you using any DLC/Expansion? Keep up the good work!

    Just the other day I was commenting to a friend who also plays HOI4, that I recently finished my Communist China play-through. His Chinese wife heard it and she chastised me for playing the commies instead of the nationalists. :deadtroll:
     
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  14. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
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    Codex 2013
    Glad to hear you're entertained, mister Chorf. I'm playing with the main expansions including Waking the Tiger and Man the Guns. It feels like they gave the axis some pretty ridiculous buffs in the last few updates but it does make the game challenging.

    The last LP I did was with Communist China in HoI3, where it felt much more challenging than in this game. Your friend's wife obviously does not appreciate the fact that playing Communist China is much more exciting if only for the fact that it historically was one of the most epic comebacks in history whereas the GMD managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory through sheer incompetence and stupidity! HoI4 is fun enough but it doesn't really capture the chaos and topsy-turviness of the warlord era. Tooling up for modern warfare is dead easy here whereas historically there were hardly any facilities suited to the production of heavy weapons, in fact the warlord of Shanxi, Yan Xishan, derived much of his influence from the fact that his Taiyuan arsenal was one of the few in China capable of producing artillery...
     
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  15. Chaosdwarft Learned Patron

    Chaosdwarft
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    Oh yeah I tried doing again my Communist China game with the latest DLC, and I got wiped out by Japan. It seems making an allied front with Nationalist China is not the way to go anymore. Also I don't get those proxy wars with neighboring warlords. I use to create claim on my neighbors and just invade them before Japan did.

    I agree that HOI4 really simplifies the logistics of War. I mean how the fuck am I producing towed artillery in the middle of barren mountains! Yeah HOI3 for me is still the more "grognard" of the two, especially if you use BLACK ICE mod.
     
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  16. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
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    Yup, also espionnage and partisans are coming back in a future DLC, apparently. I'm sure it'll beat having to fix sabotaged factories 24/7 but it would have been nice to have something of the sort in the base game as in HOI3.
     
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  17. shywn Learned

    shywn
    Joined:
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    Messages:
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    HOI3 is damned frustrating though.

    - The nations differ very little from each other, apart of amount of manpower, leadership, and geographical location and maybe five or so small clickable decisions that usually don't have much of an effect.
    - Either you give (a group of) your units to AI control or you move every single unit yourself. You can't override the AI without turning it off altogether.
    - Have fun keeping your HQs in range too.​
    - The resource trade is just black magic so better set it to AI control.
    - Your only way to gain manpower is by researching agriculture and its effect is pretty minimal. When your manpower runs out, there's no hope for you. Can't just change laws like in HOI4.
    - You have to double-click the IC sliders once a day because the reinforcement and upgrades sliders fluctuate a lot.
    - Upgrades take a good chunk of your IC for 30-60 days every time you level up a tech.
    - Training a single unit takes ages and a big chunk of your IC. Doubly so if you don't have the Practical for it.
    - You're limited to four or five brigades per division and three 'have' to be infantry so your choices are basically Inf-Inf-Inf-Art, Inf-Inf-Inf-AT, and Inf-Inf-Art-AT.
    - It has the four land doctrines of blitzkrieg, superior firepower, etc. and the in-game texts imply that you're supposed to select one of them, but in practice, you have to research all of them to get decent performance from your units.
    - I love the '72 hours between battles' rule too.
    - You can't get any new commanders so if your nation didn't come with a huge list of commanders, some of your units will have to do without.
    - Your commanders have a level limit that is hidden until they hit it.
    - It takes several days to cross a strait and if the enemy's navy just happens to poke its head there for an hour, the units just give up.
    - You can rebase your navy from Shanghai to Vladivostok, but they're going to be stuck there for the next two months because Vladivostok didn't have any fuel beforehand and the supply line adjusts to the new demand at a pace of 1 map square per day. (Unless you manually convoy some fuel over by sea.)
    - Even a level 10 harbour can only supply something like 12 land units. Pitiful.
    - As China, I spent literally half of my IC for four years building nothing but infrastructure in order to invade Russia from the east with a modest army, and I was dug in behind a river just east of the Black Sea, and then my supply line decided to falter and give me shortages for no reason I could see.
    - By the way, my Construction Practical was hovering around 50...
    - Yes, I did have logistics guys for every single Corps commander for a -12,5 % supply reduction.
    - Yes, the field marshal in my army group was the best I had too.
    - The AI knows when you are out of supply and will happily attack you across the river. And win.​

    Yeah, that's a wall of text. And I've only played two games.

    I much prefer HOI4 where they divided IC into civilian and military factories (and a separate unit training thing) and there's such a thing as a stockpile so you can actually stockpile things. Also, you don't have to worry about filling the twenty research slots, as exhilarating as the amount of techs available can be.

    (By the way, you can increase your harbours' incoming supply capacity by researching one of the techs under naval doctrines... It's hidden well.)
     
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  18. Jugashvili 管官的官 Patron

    Jugashvili
    Joined:
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    Location:
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    Codex 2013
    Horses for courses, and all that. Don't get me wrong, I am the first to acknowledge that HoI3 was was a hot buggy mess from day one and they never really fixed many of its glaring flaws, but in my view HoI3 is a wargamer's game whereas HoI4 is a gamer's game. I see HoI4 as a laudable effort to provide quality of life improvements, but they also made so many concessions to gameyness it doesn't really feel like a successor at all in many cases.

    There are many examples of this. People complained that HoI3 was too deterministic; it's a fair point, since the game usually played out in one of two ways, but to make a WWII game more sandbox requires a number of sacrifices to be made; not only are aspects such as raising party popularity and flipping regimes implausibly fast, they decided to go full clown shoes with the alt-history. Now we're all engaging in alt-history by playing a game, but there is a lot of stuff that is downright goofy in there.
    People also wanted to be able to play as Glorious Shitholeistan and lead it to world domination and, again, the devs were only too happy to oblige, allowing minors to field an improbable number of divisions and hold their own against majors when they would have been unable to put up the least resistance. And due to this aspect and the research system (as opposed to the leadership system, which forced you to prioritize) there is nothing stopping you from being able to research jet fighters before Nazi Germany as Afghanistan.
    Even things made with the best intentions end up subverted by the inherent simplification and gaminess of the system. Most players prefer to skip ahead of light tanks and move straight into medium tank production to retain efficiency, to the point where the devs ended up giving Germany a focus to skip two years ahead and do just that. And division designs ultimately fall into a few meme designs that have been found to be the most effective pound-for-pound in the multiplayer meta (not that you need that in SP, but you do end up sticking to those templates and not deviating from them simply because it wouldn't make any sense to). Also, the new manpower system doesn't allow for modelling stuff like active reserves (which Germany historically lacked) and wars between the AI frequently devolve into an eternally grinding Materielschlacht until one side is bled dry and collapses.

    At least the game is moving in the good direction; I like that they brought fuel back in MtG, though nuclear reactors still don't produce any energy and have no tangible benefits other than producing nukes; and whereas the old game encouraged you to drop them large cities to lower national unity, here they are best deployed as tac nukes to carpet bomb the front line and charge through the fallout and to flatten enemy airfields...
     
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