Jugashvili
管官的官
It's been five years since my critically acclaimed HoI3 let's play, 东方红, was released! Five years of unfulfilled promises, chronic procrastination and life getting in the way, and over these five years, things have been going from bad to worse. Greens winning the elections! Burkina Faso withdrawing diplomatic recognition! The price of tea eggs almost doubling!
Is there no one to remedy this and set things right? The time has finally come, it's time for...
东方红蓝: Peanut's Revenge
目录
前言:穿越剧之谜
第一章:心脏病
前言: The mystery of the time travel show
October 1971. A top-secret bunker somewhere near Cihu.
Gee, it sure is boring around here. Let's see what my subordinates have brought me to watch on the teevee.
Golly, I'm glad to be alive after that high voltage power line fell on me! Wait, where am I? I must have time travelled to the Qing dynasty!
Ha ha! Traveling through time after being electrocuted. How trite. I can't believe people watch th-
Supreme Commander! Supreme Commander! Bad news!
What, is Meiling finally leaving me? Good riddance, I say.
No, nothing like that, Supreme Commander. The UN has decided to recognize the PRC. I'm afraid we're going to have to call off Project National Glory.
What? And just where do you think I'll be buried unless we retake the Mainland?
... I... I guess we'll have to put you in an ice box or something until that happens, Supreme Commander, that is...
...
I... I understand that you are upset, Supreme Commander. I will leave now.
...
...fuck this. I'm done with this shit. My whole life is a failure. There is no turning this around anymore. I might as well end it all.
Unless...
A few moments later
ZZZZZAPPPP!
Supreme Commander? What was that noise?
Wait, where has the Supreme Commander gone? Men! Come quick! The Supreme Commander has disappeared!
Meanwhile
Where am I? What is this place?
Welcome back, young grasshopper. I was wondering how long it would take you to stick your fingers in that socket. I even had to insert VHS technology and a goddamn TV drama in your timeline years ahead of schedule to get you to align the dots.
Sun Zhongshan? Is this heaven? Am I dead?
Not quite. We are just on a different plane.
What kind of plane? Soviet or American?
Ever the hylic, I see. By plane I do not mean an aeroplane, but rather another dimension of reality. There is more to our universe than meets the senses.
I see. And what exactly am I doing here?
You have work to do, sonny. While you were wasting your time on that rock of yours, another plane-walker, Jugashvili, has been getting ahead of us. Have a look:
Painting bad-looking maps with faux-cyrillic letters?
No. He has been tampering with the underlying fabric of reality. Version three of it, to be specific.
I don't quite follow.
All will be explained in due time. The fact is that I have managed to get my hands on a newer version that should allow us to override his. With this tool, we can rewrite the material world and the Demiurge will be none the wiser.
...I want to go home.
There is no turning back now. I have turned the clock back to 1936. Surely you must be feeling younger already.
I was wondering why my joints didn't ache anymore.
You do still have gonorrhea, however.
Darn. Well, you don't look like a spring chicken yourself, uncle Sun.
I just happen to feel the wizened old man look adds to my aura of respectability. Now, are you ready? You should take these, just in case:
Received 1 x Health Potion, 1 x Stamina Potion, 1 x Magicka Potion
What are these?
Just a little something to help you along. Now, hang onto your hat, it's time to set things right! 1936, here we come!
Aaaaaaaah!
Under the wise guidance of uncle Sun, will Peanut be able to overcome his own frailties and change the course of history? Will I be able to get used to HoI4 and its meme mechanics? Stay tuned for more!
Is there no one to remedy this and set things right? The time has finally come, it's time for...
东方
目录
前言:穿越剧之谜
第一章:心脏病
前言: The mystery of the time travel show
October 1971. A top-secret bunker somewhere near Cihu.
A few moments later
Meanwhile
Received 1 x Health Potion, 1 x Stamina Potion, 1 x Magicka Potion
Under the wise guidance of uncle Sun, will Peanut be able to overcome his own frailties and change the course of history? Will I be able to get used to HoI4 and its meme mechanics? Stay tuned for more!
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