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Ask an ex-con (almost) anything

Discussion in 'Prisonscape' started by PekkaK, May 19, 2014.

  1. Trans-Financial-Man Novice

    Trans-Financial-Man
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2018
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    100
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    Weirdly enough I had a similar situation arise with my wife. She's got a serious case of depression, she's probably autistic (but most women with autism are really neurotic about denying they have autism) and she's a fucking therapist so anything I do she doesn't like she tries to "correct" with some shit she read in this book or that book.

    But yeah, we both really like Jordan Peterson and I was watching a video he did ages ago. I had headphones on and didn't hear my wife calling from in the kitchen (which is downstairs whilst I am upstairs) After a minute I realise something is up. Walk downstairs and my wife has just left the house without so much as a warning. I spend nearly 3 hours looking for her and have to get it out of her Mum that she was going to see some guy. Now, I'd be okay with this because she's polyamourous and would get depressed if she were "forced" to only be with one person. We were in an open relationship and I used to trust her but lately she's been seeing guys at least 10 years younger than her and getting into some pretty nasty situations. I eventually find her. We have an argument and she says

    "You never let me do what I want."

    Baring in mind we're in an open relationship so she can fuck whoever she wants and I was open minded about this until recently.

    But yeah, I finally put my foot down. Tell her to cut the shit and she starts crying. Saying she's sorry and she's "got a lot of stuff going on right now" not that she'll ever tell me what that is so we can deal with it like adults at least for the sake of our children. Like most people with autism she never grew up past the age of 14 and I sometimes feel more like her father than her Husband.

    Now it was my turn to storm off. I don't go anywhere nice. I go to a Five Guys. Because those burgers are made by god himself and there isn't much better in the UK. There was this woman about my age on the counter I was quite friendly with. A couple times I probably gave her too much info. a couple of times I wrestled with wanting to go out with her. But the thing is, she was nice and all but I held no other feelings for her. I'd be going out with her to spite my wife. Which wouldn't be fair on this nice lady. A child's response to being hurt is to hurt back. Don't be that child. Be you. Be an adult. Even if things don't work out with your girlfriend don't take the easy way out. Don't make an excuse. "It's all her fault because she hangs out with other men" Sort out your own stuff. If you do break up with someone, give yourself a break first. I am not however saying you should lie down and take it when your partner is doing stuff you don't like. Talk to them. Be reasonable and express your shit. But if she's not reasonable then maybe analyse if it's worth staying with that person.

    Anyways, I'm no Dr Phil. I don't earn nearly as much as he does to talk about this shit. Just keep safe dude, I really enjoy reading your stuff.
     
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  2. mustawd. Magister

    mustawd.
    Joined:
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    Cool story bro.
     
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  3. ItsChon Savant Patron

    ItsChon
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2018
    Parrots:
    1,082
    Location:
    California
    :prosper:
     
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  4. GarlandExCon Arcane

    GarlandExCon
    Joined:
    May 19, 2014
    Parrots:
    2,446
    Thanks, man. I hope everything works out with you and your wife. It sounds like she's got some various emotional issues that makes it difficult for the kind of constructive communication that's needed in a relationship. Lord knows I'm trying in mine.

    BTW, all these stories remind me that I never finished my SJW girl story from like... 2 years ago from another thread. I must do that some day.

    ---------

    So here's an update on what's going on with my relationship:

    So first my girlfriend dyed her hair again. It's a very yellow blonde with blue highlights. It's pretty hot. As long as it's not gray.

    Things have been better. We spent some time together over the weekend. We saw that awful Venom movie and other stuff.

    On Sunday she came over and helped me with my work. I think this might be good because it means I can spend time with her, even if I'm working. If you remember, I had originally planned to perhaps hire her to pose for pictures with items before we got together. Unfortunately, I had no items large enough to justify that so that didn't happen.

    It's getting to the point I might need some legit extra help with my business and I know since she works all day she really can't do it. Last week we went to TWH on an off day cause we had missed it on the normal day. In truth, I didn't want to go because that girl would be there. If you recall, the week we had our fight the girl chatted me up again and we exchanged numbers.

    We get there and she's there. She's friendly to us as usual. I had mentioned that I might need to hire someone to help me and this is when my girlfriend said "I can help you over the weekend if you want, but I can't do it all the time because of work."

    I really wasn't hinting or asking her, by the way, but maybe that's how she interrupted it. I say "Oh, I know. I didn't mean you but it would be cool to spend more time with you..."

    She liked that. Then something weird happened.

    "What about her?" she says, nodding towards TWH waitress girl.

    "What about her?" I say back, confused.

    "Maybe she'll help you..." my girlfriend says. "Didn't you say that she told you one time she was looking for a side job to make extra money?" (she did say this to me weeks earlier and I did mention it to my girlfriend in casual conversation). "Also, she's pretty... didn't you want a pretty girl to pose for pictures with your stuff?"

    I'm floored by this because I've told my girlfriend this girl likes and flirts with me all the time, so I say "Uh, you know she likes me right? I mean, she wants to fuck. Just saying. You'd really be comfortable with that? With her hanging around me alone knowing that?"

    My girlfriend shrugs. "I trust you. I wouldn't mind."

    I'm thinking "you wouldn't mind?"

    She's kinda smiling too in a strange way.

    I'm like "did she roofie your waffle?" She laughed and excused herself to the bathroom.

    I'm like "Oh fuck" cause I know what's coming and sure enough here comes the waitress. She refills my water glass with a big smile.

    "So you two worked it out, huh?"

    "Yeah, we sure did. I just think we needed to talk after what happened."

    "Yeah, I knew you two would. She knows how lucky she is to have a guy like you."

    "I'm the lucky one."

    "Yeah. She is really pretty! I wish I was that pretty, then I could get a good looking guy like you..."

    She actually looked sad here and I knew she was baiting me but goddammit I went right into the trap.

    "What are you talking about?" I said. "You're extremely beautiful. If I wasn't in a relationship, I'd totally be down..."

    "Ohhh..." she says with a big smile on her face. "Down for what?"

    "For whatever you want" I said to her and instantly I'm like "wait, am I FLIRTING with her!? What am I doing!?"

    She says "Oh, you know what I want...."

    I don't really know what to say. If I hadn't come back down to reality, I would have kept it going, but now I feel weird about it. Thankfully (and not so thankfully, since I still feel awkward) my girlfriend comes back.

    "Hey, what are you two talking about?" she says, like she knows what's up.

    "Just how lucky he is to have a girl like you" the waitress says, not missing a beat.

    "Awww..." My girlfriend says.

    Then: "Hey! He told me that you were looking for some extra side work? He needs someone to help a little with his business, would you be interested?"

    (I'm like "what the fuck are you doing!?")

    "Yeah!" she says, way too enthusiastic.

    "He just needs someone to help clean stuff and do packaging and also maybe pose with items for pictures..."

    (WHAT THE FUCK!?)

    "Oh yeah... I could do that... not sure why anyone would want to see me though..."

    "You're so pretty!" my girlfriend says.

    (!?)

    "Awww... thank you!" she replies. "Well, you already have my number, so just call me and we can talk about it..."

    (FUCK! I never mentioned the number exchange to my girlfriend. Well, I'm in trouble now, I'm thinking, but my girlfriend doesn't bat an eye lash at this revelation).

    "Yeah, you should totally call her" she says to me. 'Or you call him, either way...'

    And she giggles. I'm very confused. Is this a set up? Did they plan this before hand? Are they plotting against me?"

    Is she being sarcastic and as soon as this waitress leaves I'm gonna get chewed out.

    But no, that doesn't happen. She leaves to help a customer at the register and my girlfriend says "You're welcome!"

    "...What?" I say.

    "Problems solved. I got you someone to help you. You should totally call and ask her to help."

    "But... wouldn't that be weird because she's attracted to me?"

    Girlfriend shrugs. "I trust you. We're stronger than that, right?"

    "Right." (what does that mean!?).

    We leave and after we pay she goes "call him if he doesn't call you!"

    "I will" she says, smiling.

    I felt at that moment like I needed someone on my side, so I turn to the waitress and give her a "WTF" look and mouth "WHAT THE FUCK!?" to her and she mouths back "I KNOW!" and shrugs.

    So the entire way home she's talking to me about work and friends and such and it's like nothing weird just happened and I'm like suspicious as hell like "is this bitch plotting on me? You wearing a wire bitch?"

    Even weirder, she doesn't mention it again until she comes over to help me on Sunday, when after we're done working goes "you ever call that girl?"

    "What girl?" I say, playing dumb.

    "The one from The Waffle House. Duh." She sticks her tongue out at me. She does this a lot and I like it, but this time it feels weird.

    "Oh" I say. "No... I just don't know about that..."

    "Well, it's up to you" she says. "But I'm totally cool with it... as long as you always put me first...."

    (WHAT. DOES. THAT. MEAN!?)

    "Of course I will" I say. "I don't even know what that means. I..."

    and before I can finish she kisses me.

    We don't talk about it anymore. Everything is still cool. Today I get a voice mail from guess who? The girl at TWH, asking to call her about the job. That she's really interested.

    So my question is: WHAT THE FUCK!?
     
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  5. hello friend Arcane

    hello friend
    Joined:
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    I'm on an actual spaceship. No joke.
    :shredder:
     
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  6. mustawd. Magister

    mustawd.
    Joined:
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    It’s a trap. Make some excuse and drop Waffle house gurl.
     
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  7. Trans-Financial-Man Novice

    Trans-Financial-Man
    Joined:
    Feb 20, 2018
    Parrots:
    100
    Could be your girlfriend is open minded to a polyamorous relationship. But study that before you commit if that's the case. A proper poly relationship has a lot of rules to stop things getting too weird.
     
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  8. ItsChon Savant Patron

    ItsChon
    Joined:
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    "Polyamorous relaitonship". Sick oxymoron bro.
    :prosper:
    The shit some people say...
     
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  9. GarlandExCon Arcane

    GarlandExCon
    Joined:
    May 19, 2014
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    There are my theories:

    1. That this is some sort of trap set to test my faithfulness, which seems like a weird thing to do considering I've done nothing to make her question it and she's never seemed like that type.

    2. That she's interested in having a 3-some with this girl and is trying to get me open to the idea. She never struck me as the type.

    3. That she wants a full blown "open relationship" and this is her way of getting me on board. This one concerns me the most because it's just something I'm not interested in at all. There's relationships and there's fuck buddies and she's the former. Again, she has never struck me as the type, but she did go out with that ex-b/f the other week, granted her sister was there too and she said "I trust you" repeatedly during the weird convo we had like there's a need for trust and that trust includes not fucking someone else.

    4. I'm reading too much into this. She sees this girl as someone who could help me with my business and trust me enough to believe I wouldn't cheat on her with the girl.
     
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  10. mustawd. Magister

    mustawd.
    Joined:
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    So the girl who pretended to ignore you to make you jealous doesn’t seem to be the type to say something to see if you’re interested in being with other women?


    :hahyou:

    Regardless, the easy way to find out more info is to ask if she’s into women. But ofc, you’d need to do it in a way where she doesn’t think you’re asking about Waffle Haus girl.
     
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  11. GarlandExCon Arcane

    GarlandExCon
    Joined:
    May 19, 2014
    Parrots:
    2,446
    Well, I'm lumping in that recent jealousy move by her with this potential trap she's set. She's never seemed like the type to do either of those things.

    Anyway, today would be our normal TWH day, but I talked her into going to this new brewery/taproom/restaurant that opened literally across the parking lot from where I have my business instead of TWH to avoid the girl there.

    (Note: the following conversation is transcribed the best I can from memory, may not be 100% accurate).

    So I pick her up and we're driving there and out of nowhere she says "You want to eat at this place so you don't have to see that girl, don't you!"

    She's smiling, proud of herself for solving the mystery.

    ""Yeah" I said. "It's getting kinda weird."

    "What's weird about it?"

    "Just she obviously likes me and it's awkward and she'll ask about me hiring her..."

    "Did she call you?"

    "Yes"

    "Did you call her back?"

    "No"

    "Why not?"

    "Because... I don't think it's a good idea. I mean, if I hire her I guarantee you she'll make a pass at me. Maybe it's verbal, maybe she grabs my dick. I don't know. But I don't want to be put in that position. I wouldn't cheat on you. That's not me. But that would just be a bad position to be in."

    "In understand. But I do trust you. That's why even though I know that could happen it doesn't bother me."

    "So you're telling me you wouldn't care if she grabbed my dick?"

    "So long as you didn't grab her pussy, no..."

    "I'm not Donald Trump."

    She laughs. "Then we're good. You should call her back.

    "Let me think about it" I say.

    There's silence for a moment and then I say: "You know... for awhile I thought maybe you were trying to organize a three some or something" and I laugh.

    "Wellllll..." she says (!?) "She is pretty.... But no, not really..."

    "Not really?"

    "That wasn't something I thought would happen, I mean" she says.

    "So you're not into that at all?"

    "What? A three some? Are you?" she says.

    "No.. I don't know... I think it might make me uncomfortable and it could really cause issues in a relationship and I wouldn't want to mess this up because I love you, but I meant if you were into girls at all"

    "You love me huh?" she smiles. I realize this is the first time I've actually uttered these words.

    "Yeah. I do."

    "Awww..."

    She kinda leans her head on my shoulder as I drive. I hold her hand.

    Then she says. "I've thought about girls before, but never have. It's kinda a fantasy, I guess. I'd try it if the situation was right, maybe. Mama would kill me if she found out, though"

    (FYI: I don't think this is actually true, since she's pretty down to Earth and open minded, but I do believe it would shock her mom).

    "But if you were to do something like that, she's the kinda girl you'd be attracted to?"

    "Yeah" she says shyly. "I mean, she's really pretty."

    I don't know what to say so I just say "you're way better looking."

    "Nuh uh!"

    "Uh huh!"

    And I'll spare you guys the rest because it gets really sappy and annoying.


    So we eat and we have a good conversation. Now remember I said this is a brewery and she almost never drinks. I'm driving so I have one beer. She has 2 pints, which for her is a lot.

    We go to he car and I'm driving her home and she goes: "You know what we were talking about earlier?"

    and I go "yeah" because I knew exactly what she meant.

    "Do you think ... she would be into that?"

    "Honestly, yes" I say.

    "How do you know?"

    "She just seems like the type."

    I'm feeling pretty weirded out by this situation now because I don't like where it's going. I notice though my girlfriend has gotten quite and is blushing.

    She notices me looking.

    "Sorry" she says. "It's the drinks talking...."

    "No need to apologize" I say. After a pause I say "Listen... I'm not saying I wouldn't be into it. It would probably be hot as hell. In fact, I know it would, but even now the idea makes me nervous as hell because I think it could really complicate things and I've never even entertained such an idea before because I'm a very monogamist person. I'm really afraid because this could really screw things up. I've seen it happen to couples and it freaks me out."

    I think she could tell it was really bothering me so she kisses my cheek and says "It's okay sweetie, I won't bring it up again. I think you're right."

    But literally 3 minutes later: "You should at least call her though about the job. Just so it isn't weird. Just tell her you found someone else to do the job."

    I kind of like this idea, especially since she'll be able to hear the conversation in the car. So I call her and put her on speaker.

    She answers and her voice is weird. She tells us she's sick.

    The first part of the conversation is her and my girlfriend gabbing back and forth. "Awww, I hope you feel better..." that kinda thing.

    "You two should come over and make me feel better" she says.

    "Jesus Christ" I say outloud, but not loud enough for her to hear. My girlfriend hears me though.

    "Do you need us to bring you some medicine or anything?" my girlfriend says (I think this was her way of normalizing the request on the fly, but it just made it worse).

    I thought for sure the girl would ask for something and we'd be put into a position to bring her whatever it was, but she says "No, I'm okay, but thank you guys so much. If you want to come over, though, feel free...."

    I'm thinking "even if I was into this idea why would I want to fuck a sick girl?"

    "I would babe, but my mom is sick and her immune system is messed up so I can't risk getting sick cause I could get her sick..."

    (Damn. Good thinking).

    "It's okay, I understand. I wouldn't want you to get sick anyway..." she says.

    So the conversation ends without me even bringing up the job, which I point out after the call is over.

    "Oops..." my girlfriend says.

    So I drop her off and we hug and kiss, but she can tell I'm fucked up. I could sense the seed planted in her head now about this. The seed of anticipation, the seed that might make her want to call this girl up on her on. It's like she read my mind because she hugs me tight and says "don't worry about that stuff. I want only what you want. You know you can trust me and I'd never ever keep anything from you, right?"

    I nod and we kiss again and I feel better.

    So that's where we're at.

    :shredder:
     
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  12. mustawd. Magister

    mustawd.
    Joined:
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    Parrots:
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    Well...there you go.

    If you do it just make sure you make it more about her and TWH girl or you and the gf. Don’t make it about you and TWH girl.

    Good luck, but don’t force it if it feels weird. It’d be dumb to fuck up a relationship over something dumb like that.

    EDIT: Just save it for your birthday.
     
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  13. GarlandExCon Arcane

    GarlandExCon
    Joined:
    May 19, 2014
    Parrots:
    2,446
    I don't see it ever happening, mainly because I don't want it to happen. Oh, there's a lot of me that wants to do it and obviously because that would be fucking hot. But once its over its over and then I'm left thinking "what the fuck did I do?" There's no turning back from that, so that little devil on my shoulder got smacked away.

    My only concern now is if my g/f does not drop the issue. We'll see. I talked to her today and she didn't bring it up. The remains of Hurricane Michael are coming through now and it's really nasty outside so I'm gonna pick her up and we're gonna hang out at my place, so we'll see if she brings it up.
     
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  14. Drax Arcane

    Drax
    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2013
    Parrots:
    10,425
    Location:
    Silver City, Southern Lands
    Get a blindfold, lie on the bed and let both of them use you like a dildo. Also get sound mufflers so you don't know which is which.
    Problem solved. You're welcome.
     
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  15. TheChickenKing Learned

    TheChickenKing
    Joined:
    Sep 16, 2016
    Parrots:
    142
    I mostly just lurk here so I reckon none of you have any idea who I am and therefore have no reason to listen to me, but don't listen to these degenerates. Monogamy is a beautiful thing.

    Also, women are crazy. Of the two claims I have made, this second one is likely the most self-evident.
     
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  16. ItsChon Savant Patron

    ItsChon
    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2018
    Parrots:
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    Location:
    California
    This man gets it. ^
     
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  17. Mangoose Arcane Patron

    Mangoose
    Joined:
    Apr 5, 2009
    Parrots:
    16,466
    Location:
    I'm a Banana
    Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity
    Why are you no longer a conservative?
     
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  18. mustawd. Magister

    mustawd.
    Joined:
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    Hoo?
     
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  19. GarlandExCon Arcane

    GarlandExCon
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    Hoo?
     
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  20. GarlandExCon Arcane

    GarlandExCon
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    Oh she didn't bring it up the other day and hasn't since.
     
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  21. GarlandExCon Arcane

    GarlandExCon
    Joined:
    May 19, 2014
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    UPDATE: She still hasn't brought it up. We hung out over the weekend and then today. We've spent a lot of time together the last few days because of Hurricane Michael and then the weekend. Today she drops a bomb on me, though. She says that she wants to take a second job on weekends because she doesn't get paid hardly anything working at the thrift shop, which I already knew. Her mom just doesn't pay her much and the business doesn't make much either.

    Her plan is to work at Subway on the weekends. Apparently, long before I knew her, she worked there and they asked her recently if she could sub in (no pun intended) on weekends. I'm like "You do realize that we just had this thing where we couldn't spend much time together and this means we'll spend even less? Also, you just told me you didn't have time to help me with my business, which I would be willing to pay you for, but you have time to work at Subway?"

    She really didn't have an answer for this and I think I talked her out of Subway.

    Women are crazy.
     
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  22. mustawd. Magister

    mustawd.
    Joined:
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    Yah, but can she get unlimited free sandwhiches at your job?
     
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