I haven't bought a single AC game (except the first which came in some cheapo bundle with 5 games for 10 euros), torrent all the way baby.
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Anime Assassin's Greed
- Thread starter Cthulhu
- Start date
Cthulhu
Prospernaut
AssCreed 2 is proving to be a highly divisive experience. On one hand, it is smooth, dynamic and filled with lots of diverse entertainment. On the other hand, I often find myself gritting my teeth in frustration over its over-the-top consoletard nature. Consoletard-oriented studios seem to derive a sadistic pleasure out of needlessly restricting the player at every turn. Some restrictions are obviously hard to avoid, when you're making a game for a piece of obsolete DRM-infested piece of junk hardware. Others seem to exist purely to spite PC players.
- Despite having an inventory, I cannot freely manage any of my items. I cannot sell them, I can't dump them, I can't swap them from my inventory. Also, there's no inventory button, I have to hit escape and choose inventory out of ten thousand useless options.
- There are no hotkeys for any of my weapons, aside from fists, sword and hidden blade. That's 3 hotkeys out of 10 weapons. You know what has around 10 different hotkeys? A fucking keyboard, with exactly 10 keys for each digit.
- Once you buy armor, you can never take it off. Its supreme ugliness is permanently glued to your chest and shoulders. I had to restart the game from scratch and avoid buying armor on my second playthrough.
- The map lags. The game doesn't lag - the map does. Also, the icons are fucking gigantic, zoom is horrible, and the color scheme is off-putting.
- The game occasionally forgets that it's not a big-budget Hollywood movie and railroads the player into unavoidable cinematographic sequences. You can't stealth your way to kill a random guard, you MUST chase after him through a retarded obstacle course and kill him right at the end. You can't chase after a defeated assassination target and kill him right away, the game will punish you with "desynchronization" if you do what you logically should have done.
- Too many types of collectibles, and too many collectible items per type.
- I take back what I said about the Animus being less intrusive. It's more intrusive. At least in AC1 when you were playing as Altair, you could forget about Desmond and all that crap until the plot pulled you out and made you listen to the doctor's blathering. Here you don't get pulled out as often, but now the annoying support team talks to you while you're in the historical period, records "informative" videos in their annoying voices, makes notes on the database, etc.
- Ultra-mega-retarded collectible hunt and templar conspiracy side-mission, that involves the magical sphere being photoshopped on every famous painting/historical scene.
- Despite having an inventory, I cannot freely manage any of my items. I cannot sell them, I can't dump them, I can't swap them from my inventory. Also, there's no inventory button, I have to hit escape and choose inventory out of ten thousand useless options.
- There are no hotkeys for any of my weapons, aside from fists, sword and hidden blade. That's 3 hotkeys out of 10 weapons. You know what has around 10 different hotkeys? A fucking keyboard, with exactly 10 keys for each digit.
- Once you buy armor, you can never take it off. Its supreme ugliness is permanently glued to your chest and shoulders. I had to restart the game from scratch and avoid buying armor on my second playthrough.
- The map lags. The game doesn't lag - the map does. Also, the icons are fucking gigantic, zoom is horrible, and the color scheme is off-putting.
- The game occasionally forgets that it's not a big-budget Hollywood movie and railroads the player into unavoidable cinematographic sequences. You can't stealth your way to kill a random guard, you MUST chase after him through a retarded obstacle course and kill him right at the end. You can't chase after a defeated assassination target and kill him right away, the game will punish you with "desynchronization" if you do what you logically should have done.
- Too many types of collectibles, and too many collectible items per type.
- I take back what I said about the Animus being less intrusive. It's more intrusive. At least in AC1 when you were playing as Altair, you could forget about Desmond and all that crap until the plot pulled you out and made you listen to the doctor's blathering. Here you don't get pulled out as often, but now the annoying support team talks to you while you're in the historical period, records "informative" videos in their annoying voices, makes notes on the database, etc.
- Ultra-mega-retarded collectible hunt and templar conspiracy side-mission, that involves the magical sphere being photoshopped on every famous painting/historical scene.
Its supposed to be played with the gamepad(X360 one for example), D-pad is your quick bar and RB+Thumbstick select shit in your inventory. Its not an RPG. Chase sequences are puzzle sections like platformer time limit levels.
Game is played like Assassins Creed, not like some imaginary dream game in your head, either you deal with it or ragequit altogether. Every game does ther UI design differently, some copy it, some do their own thing. Its just a matter of getting used to it.
Also the game is pretty easy and main missions are step-by-step guides into a cinematic at the end. Its more fun if you stop tryharding and powergaming it, see it for what it is, a casual pretty game made for derping around history locations.
Prince of Persia-like sections are the best part of it,IMO.
Game is played like Assassins Creed, not like some imaginary dream game in your head, either you deal with it or ragequit altogether. Every game does ther UI design differently, some copy it, some do their own thing. Its just a matter of getting used to it.
Also the game is pretty easy and main missions are step-by-step guides into a cinematic at the end. Its more fun if you stop tryharding and powergaming it, see it for what it is, a casual pretty game made for derping around history locations.
Prince of Persia-like sections are the best part of it,IMO.
DeepOcean
Arcane
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2012
- Messages
- 7,394
The game is a semi open casual sandbox game, you just play it to watch pretty buildings and climb on them, all missions are just an excuse for you to climb on pretty buildings. Climb pretty buildings on time, climb pretty buildings for collectibles, climb pretty buildings to avoid guards, climb pretty buildings to kill guards. The name has assassin in it but it is better described as "Ubisoft renaissance casual climbing simulator." It is all about climbing pretty buildings with some cool Prince of Persia moments. That is it, if you don't like climbing pretty buildings, I think you shouldn't waste your time with the franchise.
Climbing pretty buildings is the sole reason for those games to exist as the stealth elements are basic. If you didn't like Ass Creed 2, you will hate Ass Creed 3, you don't climb pretty buildings but shitty looking american colonial buildings and fucking trees and, most of the time, you didn't even need to fucking climb them anyway and Hollywood bullshit reached insane derp levels. In Ass Creed 4, they fixed this somewhat and the game is the best popamole pirate game around. If you end liking Ass Creed 2, fucking skip Ass Creed 3 and wait a 75% off on steam or pirate Ass Creed 4 and be done with it.
Martius
Liturgist
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2013
- Messages
- 1,058
Too bad these are still much worse than actual Prince of Persia. I still wonder if Ubisoft care enough to try make at least one decent game in that series.
No it plays fine with a keyboard, no need to get a stupid useless controller.
If you say so, I use the controller for pretty much anything multiplatform except for shooters nowdays.
- Joined
- Dec 31, 2007
- Messages
- 11,085
Only good for city hiking. Digital parkour tourism can be fun for a bit. The actual games are shit. Sometimes the story is good, but the futuristic aspect is completely retarded, breaks immersion and should have never existed. Assassination missions are a complete joke and an insult to every good stealth/action game ever created. I wish someone with a decent vision for a free-roaming game tricked Ubisoft into giving him the engine to make an actual game.
Making the assassin a demigod is a big issue when it comes to stealth mechanics. "Oh you fucked up, here's 20 guards coming for your ass. No problem, bring it." In AC4 I did a 5 man kill combo first 30 minutes into the game.
AC:BH and others use that % sync for people that like moar challenge but even if you fail you lost nothing. I'd try it for full sync at first but I rarely re-tried any mission to get it if I fucked up somewhere.
AC:BH and others use that % sync for people that like moar challenge but even if you fail you lost nothing. I'd try it for full sync at first but I rarely re-tried any mission to get it if I fucked up somewhere.
What's worse is the B-movie behaviour of guards. Surround the assassin, then attack him one at a time instead of everyone striking at once!
They strike so seldomly, you are almost immortal. Soldier hits you while you only have one hit point left, lose hitpoint, one more hit kills you... guards that surround you wait long enough for one of your HP to regenerate before finishing you off.
buzz
Arcane
- Joined
- Apr 1, 2012
- Messages
- 4,234
If you force yourself to get the 100% sync, the missions get a bit better. Of course the stealth is still not very good because it's designed that way, with guard routines that often don't overlap (so you can easily kill many guards without fear of others noticing or finding the dead body) and a bazillion hiding spots and of course, the combat that's too easy. I remember in Brotherhood I think, I could just chain-kill 10+ guards from one simple counter-attack 
But the missions where you don't have to get seen can get tricky, especially ones where you have to eavesdrop and shit.
The Assassin's Creed games are a bit of a guilty pleasure for me, they kind of fit into what used to be one of my dream games as a kid/teenager. Cool parkour in historical settings with a little bit of town management, trading, building up a guild, getting resources, naval sim and so on. It sucks that they usually just limit those features as gimmicks rather than something bigger inside the game (the only exception to this is probably ACIV where the naval travel and combat makes most of the game). I think more people would've been okay with these games if they added more sandbox elements to the crafting/town management parts rather than just simple shitty upgrades.
Even the animus shit is okay IMO, I especially liked the puzzles in 2 involving some ultra-crazy conspiracy spanning the entirety of human history, where you had to remove censor bars or find clues in pictures and shit.
Yeah, I think AC in general is popamole done fairly well. For one, you have to admire that except 2 or 3 games out there, the setting is pretty diversified from sequel to sequel, and they look genuinely beautiful to boot (even AC3 had some prettiness to it in, despite the more boring setting, I especially liked the nature stuff in winter) rather than generic urban environments and dark places or factories. And sometimes they hit the jackpot with gameplay or story as well, like with 2 and 4 (which I think deserves to remain acknowledged as one of the better popamole games of the previous gen). More or less on a similar ground to the Rocksteady Batman games for me.
But the missions where you don't have to get seen can get tricky, especially ones where you have to eavesdrop and shit. The Assassin's Creed games are a bit of a guilty pleasure for me, they kind of fit into what used to be one of my dream games as a kid/teenager. Cool parkour in historical settings with a little bit of town management, trading, building up a guild, getting resources, naval sim and so on. It sucks that they usually just limit those features as gimmicks rather than something bigger inside the game (the only exception to this is probably ACIV where the naval travel and combat makes most of the game). I think more people would've been okay with these games if they added more sandbox elements to the crafting/town management parts rather than just simple shitty upgrades.
Even the animus shit is okay IMO, I especially liked the puzzles in 2 involving some ultra-crazy conspiracy spanning the entirety of human history, where you had to remove censor bars or find clues in pictures and shit.
Yeah, I think AC in general is popamole done fairly well. For one, you have to admire that except 2 or 3 games out there, the setting is pretty diversified from sequel to sequel, and they look genuinely beautiful to boot (even AC3 had some prettiness to it in, despite the more boring setting, I especially liked the nature stuff in winter) rather than generic urban environments and dark places or factories. And sometimes they hit the jackpot with gameplay or story as well, like with 2 and 4 (which I think deserves to remain acknowledged as one of the better popamole games of the previous gen). More or less on a similar ground to the Rocksteady Batman games for me.
Cthulhu
Prospernaut
The closer I'm getting to the end, the deeper this game descends into full derp.
Completed the glyph puzzle. Ultra-mega-derpy revelation - in addition to literally everything and everyone of notice being a product of the "apple", we get to see Adam and Steve dressed in skin-colored suits running from a technological garden of eden with a magical apple.
Completed the codex puzzle. Altair's diary entries, strangely enough, exhibit the typical speech patterns of a mid-thirty to mid-forty American White man. He also exhibits some extraordinarily progressive beliefs, for a 12th century Arabian professional killer. "Tolerance and diversity!" "Paganism is better than monotheism!" "Women being persecuted by men!" In addition to being poorly-written from an objective standpoint, they also force the author's views down your throat and are basically a series of Cracked articles that somehow wound up in a video game. Will the derp of leftardation ever end? The best part is how they openly admit that people need to be manipulated from the shadows to achieve the perfect leftist happy-happy-joy land.
The part about getting a golden mask to assassinate the doge (such carnival! much death!) made no sense whatsoever. For one thing, there wasn't a single person aside from Ezio wearing this mask. Second, what was the point of stealing the mask from Dante but letting him live (aside from saving him for a later boss fight)? If he's dead, then Ezio can disguise himself as Dante and get closer to Darth Fatguy. If he's alive, he can blow Ezio's cover, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT HE ENDS UP DOING. Utter derp.
For some reason, AssCreed 2 keeps AssCreed 1's gimmick of the assassin holding his victim and hearing an "insightful" dialogue as he dies. This made no sense from the start (all the guards politely wait in the corner as their master is dying?), but at least in the first one the dying monologues contained 90% of the plot. Here, they are short, pointless, and vapid. "What are you and your templars planning?! Haha, I shall never tell you! *dies*" Glad we got a dramatic scene just for that. This occurs even when Ezio is nowhere near the victim, like the bad doge I shot with my wrist-pistol from a mile away. I guess assassin's have mystical powers of mind-control, time-stop and teleportation which they only use to get a confession from a dying target.
The game is also incredibly easy and treats the player like a complete idiot the whole time. I get tutorial pop-ups for mechanics that I've been using since the moment I started playing the game. "Exit the dungeon through the hidden door" the game helpfully reminds me, in case I had a spaz attack and didn't notice a huge door open right in front of me. Combat is ridiculously easy, all the races can be completed at a leisurely pace in about half the time they give you, the game is generally tweaked in a way that must appeal to morons.
In short, leftard imbeciles ruin what could have been a really good series. In other news, I finally realized why Dragon Age 2 sucked as much it did. Biowhore, in their supreme wisdom, decided to rip-off AssCreed series. This goes from the protagonist being clearly an amalgamation of all the "badass" assassins, to the story being told through an unnecessary framing device, to the plot repeatedly skipping a few years after every chapter, to one of the side-characters having a beloved pet-weapon called "Bianca" (a sword in AC2, a crossbow in DA2). Seriously, they didn't even change the name. The difference being, where AC2 executed these elements in a well-marketed but objectively-mediocre way, DA2 executed them in a poorly-marketed and objectively-shitty way.
On the plus side, we only once got a cut back to Desmond McDullface, and that one mostly consisted of a dream sequence with Altair. They seem to be using the the meta-storyline towards setting up a modern-era Assassin game with Desmond as the protagonist, I'm sure this will pay off in the end.
Completed the glyph puzzle. Ultra-mega-derpy revelation - in addition to literally everything and everyone of notice being a product of the "apple", we get to see Adam and Steve dressed in skin-colored suits running from a technological garden of eden with a magical apple.
Completed the codex puzzle. Altair's diary entries, strangely enough, exhibit the typical speech patterns of a mid-thirty to mid-forty American White man. He also exhibits some extraordinarily progressive beliefs, for a 12th century Arabian professional killer. "Tolerance and diversity!" "Paganism is better than monotheism!" "Women being persecuted by men!" In addition to being poorly-written from an objective standpoint, they also force the author's views down your throat and are basically a series of Cracked articles that somehow wound up in a video game. Will the derp of leftardation ever end? The best part is how they openly admit that people need to be manipulated from the shadows to achieve the perfect leftist happy-happy-joy land.
The part about getting a golden mask to assassinate the doge (such carnival! much death!) made no sense whatsoever. For one thing, there wasn't a single person aside from Ezio wearing this mask. Second, what was the point of stealing the mask from Dante but letting him live (aside from saving him for a later boss fight)? If he's dead, then Ezio can disguise himself as Dante and get closer to Darth Fatguy. If he's alive, he can blow Ezio's cover, WHICH IS EXACTLY WHAT HE ENDS UP DOING. Utter derp.
For some reason, AssCreed 2 keeps AssCreed 1's gimmick of the assassin holding his victim and hearing an "insightful" dialogue as he dies. This made no sense from the start (all the guards politely wait in the corner as their master is dying?), but at least in the first one the dying monologues contained 90% of the plot. Here, they are short, pointless, and vapid. "What are you and your templars planning?! Haha, I shall never tell you! *dies*" Glad we got a dramatic scene just for that. This occurs even when Ezio is nowhere near the victim, like the bad doge I shot with my wrist-pistol from a mile away. I guess assassin's have mystical powers of mind-control, time-stop and teleportation which they only use to get a confession from a dying target.
The game is also incredibly easy and treats the player like a complete idiot the whole time. I get tutorial pop-ups for mechanics that I've been using since the moment I started playing the game. "Exit the dungeon through the hidden door" the game helpfully reminds me, in case I had a spaz attack and didn't notice a huge door open right in front of me. Combat is ridiculously easy, all the races can be completed at a leisurely pace in about half the time they give you, the game is generally tweaked in a way that must appeal to morons.
In short, leftard imbeciles ruin what could have been a really good series. In other news, I finally realized why Dragon Age 2 sucked as much it did. Biowhore, in their supreme wisdom, decided to rip-off AssCreed series. This goes from the protagonist being clearly an amalgamation of all the "badass" assassins, to the story being told through an unnecessary framing device, to the plot repeatedly skipping a few years after every chapter, to one of the side-characters having a beloved pet-weapon called "Bianca" (a sword in AC2, a crossbow in DA2). Seriously, they didn't even change the name. The difference being, where AC2 executed these elements in a well-marketed but objectively-mediocre way, DA2 executed them in a poorly-marketed and objectively-shitty way.
On the plus side, we only once got a cut back to Desmond McDullface, and that one mostly consisted of a dream sequence with Altair. They seem to be using the the meta-storyline towards setting up a modern-era Assassin game with Desmond as the protagonist, I'm sure this will pay off in the end.
SuicideBunny
(ノ ゜Д゜)ノ ︵ ┻━┻
- Joined
- May 1, 2007
- Messages
- 8,943
i've always understood that to mean that the original killed the target in a situation where he could talk to it alone in such a manner, but what you did in the memory simulation is close enough to trigger that actual memory playback and thus irrelevant to stuff like guard movement.
Or so everyone thought...
chestburster
Savant
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2012
- Messages
- 711
I concur. Also AC4 has some semi-sandbox plantation maps to stealth through. And the naval battles against those legendary ships are genuinely difficult.
Cthulhu
Prospernaut
Finally beat this piece of shit. The endgame is an overly protracted sequence of three episodes, two of which got removed from the original consoletard version due to time constraints, and then sold to the sheeple under the guise of DLC. I wish they had been removed from the PC version as well.
The Battle of Forli involved slicing through hordes of guards while making sure your companions Maria Sforza and Antonio Machiavelli don't bite the dust. Yes, Machiavelli is now an assassin and an expert sword-fighter. Raping history has never been more fun. The sequence is glitchy as hell, it's impossible to tell which of the groups of guards fighting all over the fortress is on whose side, because as soon as the fighting stops they announce "Where is the bastardo who did this?!" and attack you. We get two new personality-free cartoonishly evil villains - the Geppetto Brothers, who are introduced and assassinated within the span of ten minutes, because we haven't had enough of that yet. At the end Sforza gives you a map of all the remaining codex pages in case the player is so mind-numbingly stupid, that he hasn't managed to collect them all yet. But this is just a warm-up for the real schlock.
Plot-induced idiocy causes Ezio to lose the apple, which is immediately picked up by a black-clad monk we've never seen before. He promptly starts an uprising in Florence (why not Venice which Forli is part of?), and we have to stop him. Oh, but we can't just kill him and recover the apple, that'd make too much sense. First we have to kill nine of his mind-controlled "lieutenants", which include an evil doctor, a fat greedy merchant, a guy who burns books en masse... wait, we've already done this shit in Ass Creed 1, and it sucked. Why are we even bothering with these people, just kill the monk and reverse the mind-control. One of the guys we kill was just singing a hymn atop a church tower, is that considered a crime in lieberal happy-happy-joy-land? The assassination missions themselves were pretty fun, I just wish they were in a better game. Anyway, the monk gets burned on a stake (take THAT, inquisition! *punches the air*), Ezio delivers a Dawkinsian harangue to the glory of Leftism, and the real endgame starts.
Which involves a trip along a completely barren part of the Vatican, leading straight to the vile lair of the game's most despicable villain - the Rome Pope delivering a sermon in the middle of the Sistine chapel. The pope raises his magical staff and turns into Darth Sidious, Ezio uses the apple to create five copies of himself (which are totally useless), and then they fight. After you beat the shit out of Darth Sidious, plot-induced idiocy causes Ezio to lose the apple, and it's picked up by Pope Sidious who combines it with the staff and delivers a very minor non-fatal injury to Ezio before running away. I love it when the plot doesn't allow the protagonist and the villain to kill each other when they logically should have.
Anyway, the pope fails to open the vault because he's not the Chosen One, we get another boss fight, and Ezio steps through the door to meet... a glowing space woman blathering utter retardation about end of the world specifically to Desmond. Turns out, the magical Precursors who could foresee the future many centuries in advance, somehow failed to foresee a solar flare that destroyed their civilization. Now it's going to happen again in the modern world, and Desmond must stop it. After what seems to be an eternity, the cutscene ends and credits roll. Thank fuck.
Ahoy-hoy, you didn't think this would end so easily, did you! A credits roll, we cut back to Desmond and his cronies packing their shit in a hurry because the Templars had arrived. "It was only a matter of time, I'm surprised they didn't find us sooner" the whiny British cunt says. Why did you stay in this place for longer than five minutes, if you knew the templars were going to find you? Then Lucy pulls Ezio's hidden blade out of her ass, we get a fight with templar goons wielding... police batons? is Abstergo too poor to equip their assault force with firearms?, the annoying doctor from the previous game shows up... to do and say absolutely nothing interesting, just as he did in the previous game, and the gang of retards heads off to a cabin in the woods where they will be safe. Clearly they won't have trouble arriving there in secrecy, considering their enemies aren't smart enough to carry guns. Now the game ends for real - with another blatant sequel hook.
From here on after, things get a little murky. Uberderp's original plan was to release a AC sequel with a new protagonist, skipping a few more centuries and inching ever-closer to the modern times, with Desmond's gameplay sequences and story-arc gaining more prominence, and finally concluding the saga with a modern-era AC installment where Desmond would be a fully-realized assassin. However, the fanbase seemed to really take a liking to Renaissance Italy and Ezio, so the next two major installments picked up directly where AssCreed2 had left off. From what I understand, Brotherhood and Revelations are more standalone addons that proper sequels, with only half the playthrough time, fewer locations, identical graphics, and minor tweaks to the gameplay. Brotherhood seems to be the peak of this franchise's popularity, and Revelations was largely regarded as a disappointment, for the first time an AC sequel failing to improve gameplay-wise upon its predecessor. After this, the templar conspiracy story-arc became universally reviled among the fanbase, and Ubiderp quickly wrapped up the whole ordeal in AC3, which was an even bigger failure than Revelations. Assassin's Creed 4 was revamped as a pirate naval battle game, the modern-era Assassins game got restyled as Watch Dogs - a separate franchise, and from what we know of upcoming Unity and Rogue (a simultaneous release of two installments in the same franchise? wat?), they will focus almost entirely on the historical period drama, rather than modern-day conspiracy stuff. Which is what they should have done all along. Seriously, how the fuck does idiocy like this even get approved? I realize than the installment-specific plot is basically a series of episodes that involve Ezio listening on to yet another conspiracy of evil-looking dudes in wizard robes, then hunting them down one by one, but even that would have been better.
Should I even bother with the rest of the series? How much derpier does the meta-plot get? I doubt it can get any worse than the ending of AC2, but with Ubiderp, you never know. Brotherhood is critically acclaimed, should I proceed with that, or skip directly to the pirate battle of AC4?
The Battle of Forli involved slicing through hordes of guards while making sure your companions Maria Sforza and Antonio Machiavelli don't bite the dust. Yes, Machiavelli is now an assassin and an expert sword-fighter. Raping history has never been more fun. The sequence is glitchy as hell, it's impossible to tell which of the groups of guards fighting all over the fortress is on whose side, because as soon as the fighting stops they announce "Where is the bastardo who did this?!" and attack you. We get two new personality-free cartoonishly evil villains - the Geppetto Brothers, who are introduced and assassinated within the span of ten minutes, because we haven't had enough of that yet. At the end Sforza gives you a map of all the remaining codex pages in case the player is so mind-numbingly stupid, that he hasn't managed to collect them all yet. But this is just a warm-up for the real schlock.
Plot-induced idiocy causes Ezio to lose the apple, which is immediately picked up by a black-clad monk we've never seen before. He promptly starts an uprising in Florence (why not Venice which Forli is part of?), and we have to stop him. Oh, but we can't just kill him and recover the apple, that'd make too much sense. First we have to kill nine of his mind-controlled "lieutenants", which include an evil doctor, a fat greedy merchant, a guy who burns books en masse... wait, we've already done this shit in Ass Creed 1, and it sucked. Why are we even bothering with these people, just kill the monk and reverse the mind-control. One of the guys we kill was just singing a hymn atop a church tower, is that considered a crime in lieberal happy-happy-joy-land? The assassination missions themselves were pretty fun, I just wish they were in a better game. Anyway, the monk gets burned on a stake (take THAT, inquisition! *punches the air*), Ezio delivers a Dawkinsian harangue to the glory of Leftism, and the real endgame starts.
Which involves a trip along a completely barren part of the Vatican, leading straight to the vile lair of the game's most despicable villain - the Rome Pope delivering a sermon in the middle of the Sistine chapel. The pope raises his magical staff and turns into Darth Sidious, Ezio uses the apple to create five copies of himself (which are totally useless), and then they fight. After you beat the shit out of Darth Sidious, plot-induced idiocy causes Ezio to lose the apple, and it's picked up by Pope Sidious who combines it with the staff and delivers a very minor non-fatal injury to Ezio before running away. I love it when the plot doesn't allow the protagonist and the villain to kill each other when they logically should have.
Anyway, the pope fails to open the vault because he's not the Chosen One, we get another boss fight, and Ezio steps through the door to meet... a glowing space woman blathering utter retardation about end of the world specifically to Desmond. Turns out, the magical Precursors who could foresee the future many centuries in advance, somehow failed to foresee a solar flare that destroyed their civilization. Now it's going to happen again in the modern world, and Desmond must stop it. After what seems to be an eternity, the cutscene ends and credits roll. Thank fuck.
Ahoy-hoy, you didn't think this would end so easily, did you! A credits roll, we cut back to Desmond and his cronies packing their shit in a hurry because the Templars had arrived. "It was only a matter of time, I'm surprised they didn't find us sooner" the whiny British cunt says. Why did you stay in this place for longer than five minutes, if you knew the templars were going to find you? Then Lucy pulls Ezio's hidden blade out of her ass, we get a fight with templar goons wielding... police batons? is Abstergo too poor to equip their assault force with firearms?, the annoying doctor from the previous game shows up... to do and say absolutely nothing interesting, just as he did in the previous game, and the gang of retards heads off to a cabin in the woods where they will be safe. Clearly they won't have trouble arriving there in secrecy, considering their enemies aren't smart enough to carry guns. Now the game ends for real - with another blatant sequel hook.
From here on after, things get a little murky. Uberderp's original plan was to release a AC sequel with a new protagonist, skipping a few more centuries and inching ever-closer to the modern times, with Desmond's gameplay sequences and story-arc gaining more prominence, and finally concluding the saga with a modern-era AC installment where Desmond would be a fully-realized assassin. However, the fanbase seemed to really take a liking to Renaissance Italy and Ezio, so the next two major installments picked up directly where AssCreed2 had left off. From what I understand, Brotherhood and Revelations are more standalone addons that proper sequels, with only half the playthrough time, fewer locations, identical graphics, and minor tweaks to the gameplay. Brotherhood seems to be the peak of this franchise's popularity, and Revelations was largely regarded as a disappointment, for the first time an AC sequel failing to improve gameplay-wise upon its predecessor. After this, the templar conspiracy story-arc became universally reviled among the fanbase, and Ubiderp quickly wrapped up the whole ordeal in AC3, which was an even bigger failure than Revelations. Assassin's Creed 4 was revamped as a pirate naval battle game, the modern-era Assassins game got restyled as Watch Dogs - a separate franchise, and from what we know of upcoming Unity and Rogue (a simultaneous release of two installments in the same franchise? wat?), they will focus almost entirely on the historical period drama, rather than modern-day conspiracy stuff. Which is what they should have done all along. Seriously, how the fuck does idiocy like this even get approved? I realize than the installment-specific plot is basically a series of episodes that involve Ezio listening on to yet another conspiracy of evil-looking dudes in wizard robes, then hunting them down one by one, but even that would have been better.
Should I even bother with the rest of the series? How much derpier does the meta-plot get? I doubt it can get any worse than the ending of AC2, but with Ubiderp, you never know. Brotherhood is critically acclaimed, should I proceed with that, or skip directly to the pirate battle of AC4?
Keep going. Nothing better than spending 100's of hours on game series you hate.
Brotherhood is next on the list.
On a somewhat related note, AC4 is on sale for 10 bucks on Humble bundle store.
Brotherhood is next on the list.
On a somewhat related note, AC4 is on sale for 10 bucks on Humble bundle store.
Cthulhu
Prospernaut
No thanks, I've had enough of atheistarded bible-bashing and history-rape. Might try out AC4 later, for now I'll stick with Heroes VI and Wasteland 2.
Not to get your hopes up or anything, but I tried AssCreed 4. Aside from a brief interlude after the tutorial mission, the animus bs seems to get the fuck out of your way. There's a miniscule stealth mechanic (shrubbery you can hide in) and you get to do popamole ship to ship combat, steering your ship and firing ze kannonz. It's better than Kwansassins Kweed at least.
Combat is still crap though. And I only just finished the havana part and did a little open-world sailing a la Sid Meier's pirates. So there's every possibility I just haven't reached the part where it turns into an unplayable clusterfuck. Oh, and you no longer play as whatshisname the unlikable dumbfuck descendant of Altair.
Martius
Liturgist
- Joined
- Nov 24, 2013
- Messages
- 1,058
You could always try standalone version of Freedom Cry, its a bit cheaper than base game (at least in my country during sales). Of course its shorter but for me its good since main games tend do drag on too long, even without doing optional content.
Games that are based on analog movement without analog targeting play better with a controller. Well, a G13 is even better.
Edit: Actually I should say positional targeting rather than analog targeting.
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I find controllers to be incredibly awkward to use and feel way more comfortable with a mouse and keyboard. Yes, I even prefer the horribly clunky M&KB controls of Dark Souls to using a controller with that game.
Great argument. If a console gamer finds a KB and mouse awkward to use and finds controllers more comfortable that means that KB and mouse is stupid and useless, right?
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