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Vapourware Barkley 2 - the new Codex vaporware champion
- Thread starter eric__s
- Start date
Higher Game
Arcane
You know, I wonder how many guys were genuinely inspired by Grimoire to keep pumping until the finish. It might just be the Velvet Underground of RPG's.
buffalo bill
Arcane
- Joined
- Dec 8, 2016
- Messages
- 1,008
Barkley 2: Another Fantastic Week
It's been AT LEAST a few fortnights since we talked last, and honestly I planned on it being a little longer because our updates always suck nards. But then some twitter fellow caught me with a response and I said "I PROMISE" to send an update. So here we are.
Unlike Jean-Marc, B2 development hasn't completely derailed. Yet...
THE DEVELOPMENT CONTINUES!
So you all might remember Laz, the Wyld Finn, and his disturbing cavalcade of horrible game ideas. Well, we've given him a bigger role in the project, so Barkley is starting to veer off course and into a realm where gam3r pride and g4mer self-loathing painfully crisscross. Laz is working on a Legenday Dojo set a top the mountains, and also the mind-boggling puzzles you must complete to gain entrance to said Dojo. These puzzles of course, the machinations of the diabolical Fary-kin of Necron 7.
High atop "Gilbert's Peak" are other sinful dangers. Such as the Mythical and MystiKal Jalapeno Stags, abbreviated to "'peno Stags." These enigmatic beasts seem to lumber across the ice-capped ranges of N7's southern regions, and then suddenly, vanish into the cold fog that persists as such high altitudes. To battle the 'peno Stag is to stare down the Red Face of F.A.T.E. itself.
'Peno Stags are wild beasts filled with cruelty and malice.
Then there's the Mines, where you must sneak around and execute certain secret plans for an enigmatic secret someone to obtain an item shrouded in mystery...
Drink colloidal silver to gain Blueface and bamboozle the Duergs.
OH YEAH WE ADDED FISHING
So now you can fish in the game. What does it get you? Well, more gun's of course. WHY would you do it? Well there is no reason at all to do it because videogames are meaningless. We're glad we added it. You'll love/hate it, too.
Will you catch the "Ultermate" Lunker?
BOSSES
We also started adding some punk-ass bosses like Catfish Queen, Doppelkuwanger, the B.A.B.B.Y. System, and Running Mantis. Each offers their own puzzling combat design for players to decipher not only how to overcome but also to consider why we made such bold and rambunctious gameplay notions in the first place.
Use your enemies tricks against them.
WHAT ELSE ARE WE WORKING ON
Ever feel like a character is yapping too much? Maybe it's your 5th playthrough seeing the same cinema / dialog again? Or perhaps you're simply sick of whatever it is that you see on the screen? Worry not! B2 has a cinema fast-forwarding feature to make your gaming experience slightly more tolerable.
Custom Anti-Yapper System.
The tutorial is more or less done. This dramatic opening sets the stage for the tribulations of X114JAM9 and we gave a diaper-filler teaser of it on twitter a few months ago. We're pretty happy with the DARK UNDERTONES of the opening scene and I think some of the more... dark-minded gamerkin will feel the same.
Wait a fortnight more and we'll drop some more B2 on ya. There seriously is a lot we are adding.
Remember: you can't rush quantity.
sexualroofer6 sends his regards.
There's also a video that I couldn't figure out how to embed.
Latro
Arcane
there was some fire pro wrestling tournaments
feature bloat
orcinator
Liturgist
Famous school shooter Sam Hyde listed Barkley 2 as inspiration for his own vaporwave video game. Wonder which one will come out first.
Their goal is to out-grimoire grimoire.
Joyride Universe?
Heretic
Cipher
- Joined
- Dec 1, 2015
- Messages
- 844
Daniel Pacheco
Educated
Does this game supposed to be released on 2013? Seriously?
Dawkinsfan69
Dumbfuck!
*insert shrek joke here*
*insert doritos joke here*
*insert shrek joke #2 here*
xD
*insert doritos joke here*
*insert shrek joke #2 here*
xD
Be careful what you wish for
Modron
Arcane
- Joined
- May 5, 2012
- Messages
- 10,043
Space Jam is getting a sequel so probably not going to happen in our lifetimes.
Game's going on five years overdue, there are still precious few updates, and the latest update (from a full year ago) mentions that the tutorial is "more or less done". The tutorial.
I ask him every time he appears in the Shoutbox, and he never says a word, always fully evading the topic. It's a computer game. What's so secret it can only be shared in PMs? Is he working on it or not? It's a simple question. (Hint: He isn't.)
I'm glad this thread finally got a richly-deserved vaporware tag, though.
They took all the money from the kickstarter and invested it into bitcoin, making themselves a ton of money while completely giving up on ever finishing the game. Instead they lead people along with these insincere, patronizing updates that obscure a lack of progress with their usual tired "humor," safe in the lack of accountability offered by kickstarter. Especially insulting is the amount of these various low level "gamejam" games that they continue to release, all told probably taking up hundreds of hours that they could have been spending working on the game they've been paid to make. They should be sued.
Last edited:
ColCol
Arcane
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2012
- Messages
- 1,731
Thanks for getting my hopes up with this old update.
LeStryfe79
President Spartacus
I hope Weezer does a cover of Barkley 2.
Daniel Pacheco
Educated
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