Official Codex Discord Server

  1. Welcome to rpgcodex.net, a site dedicated to discussing computer based role-playing games in a free and open fashion. We're less strict than other forums, but please refer to the rules.

    "This message is awaiting moderator approval": All new users must pass through our moderation queue before they will be able to post normally. Until your account has "passed" your posts will only be visible to yourself (and moderators) until they are approved. Give us a week to get around to approving / deleting / ignoring your mundane opinion on crap before hassling us about it. Once you have passed the moderation period (think of it as a test), you will be able to post normally, just like all the other retards.
    Dismiss Notice

Interview Best Oblivion interview evar!

Discussion in 'RPG News & Content' started by Vault Dweller, Aug 16, 2005.

  1. Vault Dweller Commissar, Red Star Studio Developer

    Vault Dweller
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2003
    Parrots:
    26,989
    Tags: Bethesda Softworks; Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

    There is a new <a href=http://www.elderscrolls.com>Oblivion</a> <a href=http://www.elderscrolls.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=145163>interview</a> at the official site. I'll post the entire thing to preserve it for all the future generations:
    <br>
    <br>
    <blockquote>Ultra-Xboxorz teh ultimate online gaming magazine bringz u a mega interview with no other than a pretty important Bethesda employee ! You'll get answers on a few of teh hottest subjects, so read on and weep !
    <br>
    <br>
    Ultra-Xboxorz - Let's start with the PC requiremets. Just to get 'em out of the way. Can you give us a hint ?
    <br>
    pretty important Bethesda employee - Absolutely. They are higher than you'd expect and they are certainly higher than we'd ever admit. This doesn't mean that they're extremely high, just that they are kinda very high. But we can't really talk about it yet. Buy an Xbox 360 wink.gif
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - So, if I understood correctly, that means the Xbox 360 version will kick major PC [censored] ?
    <br>
    B - Yep. You got the hidden meaning allright. You see, goin' mainstream is a wonderful thing. We milk more people of their money, while they get what they always longed for (whether they know it or not): honest to God gore. No headaches and fancy statistics. No. Only beautiful GORE.
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - How would you describe Oblivion's graphics ? Especially the forests.
    <br>
    B - Oblivion's graphics are very good and the forests are really nice looking too. In fact they look so good, that I might even use the word "uber" to describe them.
    <br>
    UX - Really ?
    <br>
    B - Really.
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - You have told us a thousand times how uber RAI will be. Would it be possible for you to repeat it once again ?
    <br>
    B - Sure ! RAI will be uber uber. It will give the NPCs certain goals like: torture innocent pets, get drunk and pick on the weak, steal, kill and other such activities that we at Bethesda consider to be FUN.
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - Did the NPCs ever do anything out of the ordinary that would surprise even you, a big Beth... smart person ?
    <br>
    B - Well, they rarely surprise me... ahem, but they often surprise my other less intelligent colleagues... anyway, this shady character suddenly decided to steal everyone's shoes. So, the next morning people were walking around bare foot and they all caught one hell of a cold. We think that was absolutely hilarious. Even more interesting than the game's plot actually...
    <br>
    UX - Wow, that is really uber.
    <br>
    B - Yes, isn't it ? "Uber" would also be my word of choice.
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - Now, there are lots of angry fans who want more info on the all-knowing compass. Could you clear things up for them once
    <br>
    and for all ?
    <br>
    B - I'm not sure... let me think for a second here... well, I guess it wouldn't kill me to describe it in a bit more detail... oh, well... here goes nothing: the compass is situated in the middle of the screen and it replaces your crosshair. It's actually a big red flashing arrow that has "Bethesda RULZ" written on it. You can "tell" it to point in the direction of the following goodies:
    <br>
    - easy kill
    <br>
    - secret place with hidden loot
    <br>
    - HEIR.
    <br>
    There's even an option called "stupidgamer", kinda like autoplay. It let's you sit back and watch how your character slaughters whomever needs to be slaughtered. In this mode you automatically gain invulnerability, so that you can feel like a strong, potent manly man, without ever lifting a finger. And if accidentally you miss someone, the game auto-reloads and you can perform a super-insta-kill on your helpless victim.
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - Yeeey ! That's killer ! I think that now it's obvious to everyone that Oblivion is da best game eva.
    <br>
    B - Yes. Obvious.
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - What about the merging of skills ? And what other bright ideas did you implement ?
    <br>
    B - LOTS. We got tired of so many words and numbers. What gamers really want is a big weapon and a crazed monster to chop in half. If we wouldn't be tied down by the damn lore, we would have also added shotguns and laser cannons just to please the little warrior inside us. Gotta rewrite that stupid lore.
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - If it's not too much a trouble, could you tell us the real reason behind the scraping of mounted combat ?
    <br>
    B - OK kid. But only because I like you: we were bored and got lazy. That's the honest to God truth. But the fans will take care of that. There'll be mods and bla, bla, bla... why do you think we release our editing tools ? So that the consumer can correct our mistakes. You know, we really really hate to work on patches. After the game ships, we just want to enjoy our glory, cash and chicks in bikinis.
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - Right. Now on to a pretty messy question: are all these improvements the result of the so-called dumbing-down for teh Xbox users ?
    <br>
    B - Of course. Although dumbing-down is a very accurate word. We like to avoid such clear definitions. Why not say "user-friendly" and other such nice little lies ? Hmmm ?
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - You are like... sooo right mister. Damn those stupid PC elitist bastards! Uhm, now what about the release date...
    <br>
    B - ...yes ?
    <br>
    UX - Uhm... What is it ? The release date I mean... of the game Oblivion.
    <br>
    B - Ooooh, I didn't follow you there for a second. You mean the game Oblivion on which we are working at the moment ? Now I get it ! Silly me. Well, that game will ship when we have managed to place all the 9000 forks and napkins all over the land. It's a really tedious work. None of us has the time to do anything. And I mean no food, no shower and certainly no alcoholic beverages every afternoon from 3 'till next day mornin when we... but we're really not prepared to talk about it yet.
    <br>
    <br>
    UX - Is there anything you wish to add ? You know, something for teh fans ?
    <br>
    B - If I must... ahem, we at Bethesda really... ahem, I mean you are the most... well... I wouldn't really like to add anything.</blockquote>
    <br>
    Thanks, <b>un om bun</b>
    <br>
    <br>
     
    ^ Top  
  2. Naked_Lunch Erudite

    Naked_Lunch
    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2005
    Parrots:
    5,360
    Location:
    Norway, 1967
  3. PrzeSzkoda Augur

    PrzeSzkoda
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Parrots:
    632
    Location:
    Zork - Poland
    Project: Eternity
    Classic.
     
    ^ Top  
  4. Hazelnut Erudite

    Hazelnut
    Joined:
    Dec 17, 2002
    Parrots:
    1,489
    Location:
    UK
    Tee-hee. :lol:

    Do you spend all your time on Beth's forums or something VD? Dunno how you catch these so quick... :P
     
    ^ Top  
  5. Spazmo Erudite

    Spazmo
    Joined:
    Nov 9, 2002
    Parrots:
    5,752
    Location:
    Monkey Island
    Wait a minute! That's not a real interview!
     
    ^ Top  
  6. obediah Erudite

    obediah
    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2005
    Parrots:
    5,051
    *yawn*

    If this was twice as short or twice as funny it would be a keeper.
     
    ^ Top  
  7. Kuato Liturgist

    Kuato
    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2005
    Parrots:
    253
    Location:
    3 steps ahead
    LOL! I can just imagine a whole department dedicated to placing forks and napkins in the world
     
    ^ Top  
  8. PrzeSzkoda Augur

    PrzeSzkoda
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Parrots:
    632
    Location:
    Zork - Poland
    Project: Eternity
    "Look, we can't place the fork on his chair because the player will have to reload every time the NPC sits on it!"
     
    ^ Top  
  9. Surlent Liturgist

    Surlent
    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2004
    Parrots:
    825
    I guess Volourn would say this is not news, but I'm not to argue semantics. Funny review, wish it were real though. :)
     
    ^ Top  
  10. Taoreich Liturgist

    Taoreich
    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2003
    Parrots:
    146
    Location:
    Hotlanta
    At the risk of sounding Volourn-ish, this is not news. If VD didn't have such a hard on for mocking Oblivion, this would never have made it to the front page.

    edit-Surlent, you got me
     
    ^ Top  
  11. Vault Dweller Commissar, Red Star Studio Developer

    Vault Dweller
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2003
    Parrots:
    26,989
    How's this interview different from all other Oblivion interviews that are news?
     
    ^ Top  
  12. PrzeSzkoda Augur

    PrzeSzkoda
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Parrots:
    632
    Location:
    Zork - Poland
    Project: Eternity
    It features Ultra Xboxorz and doesn't have Patrick Stewart in it.
     
    ^ Top  
  13. corvax Augur

    corvax
    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2004
    Parrots:
    725
    Resident cynic VD strikes again. You are right, this "interview" carries the same message as any other offishul one. But then again your personal vendetta is getting kindah old and isn't really deserving front page news. Reminiscent of someone else posting shit about Cleve.
     
    ^ Top  
  14. PrzeSzkoda Augur

    PrzeSzkoda
    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    Parrots:
    632
    Location:
    Zork - Poland
    Project: Eternity
    I don't care about any vendettas (if you could call it like that, I don't think that VD hates Oblivion or Bethesda, for he's got no reason - until they release FO3, that is). The only thing I care about is that the newspost made me laugh. And the fact that it's a newspost made me laugh even more.
     
    ^ Top  
  15. Shadowstrider Liturgist

    Shadowstrider
    Joined:
    Jan 19, 2004
    Parrots:
    101
    This is actually less news worthy than the Cleve Blackmore fiasco. Way to go!
     
    ^ Top  
  16. Vault Dweller Commissar, Red Star Studio Developer

    Vault Dweller
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2003
    Parrots:
    26,989
    Since when criticism means vendetta?

    The posts about Cleve were posts about Cleve's personal opinions. If I posted some personal stuff about Todd or MSFD, then your comment would have been valid. I cover games. See the difference?

    Exactly.

    See above. Not that I give a fuck about random bitching and whining.
     
    ^ Top  
  17. jiujitsu Cipher

    jiujitsu
    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2004
    Parrots:
    1,444
    Location:
    Oxford, New Jersey
    Project: Eternity
    How the fuck is this spam forum post news, Exitium?

    This is GD material if not Retardo Land material.

    Also incredibly unfunny.
     
    ^ Top  
  18. Vault Dweller Commissar, Red Star Studio Developer

    Vault Dweller
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2003
    Parrots:
    26,989
    Go eat a dick
     
    ^ Top  
  19. Borys Novice

    Borys
    Joined:
    Aug 5, 2005
    Parrots:
    13
    Location:
    Lodz, Poland
    Hahaha, that's great.
     
    ^ Top  
  20. Sol Invictus Erudite

    Sol Invictus
    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2002
    Parrots:
    9,614
    Location:
    Pax Romana
    Best news post ever. Nice to see you taking the site in a worse direction than I ever did with my Grimoire posts, VD. At least someone responded to those.
     
    ^ Top  
  21. NeutralMilkHotel Liturgist

    NeutralMilkHotel
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2004
    Parrots:
    389
     
    ^ Top  
  22. Naked_Lunch Erudite

    Naked_Lunch
    Joined:
    Jan 29, 2005
    Parrots:
    5,360
    Location:
    Norway, 1967
     
    ^ Top  
  23. Vault Dweller Commissar, Red Star Studio Developer

    Vault Dweller
    Joined:
    Jan 7, 2003
    Parrots:
    26,989
    One more time, there is a difference between posting news about personal non-game related opinions of developers and posting game-related stuff. Besides, I can never beat the damage you've caused the site with your "NO MORE FREE RIDES!", because that's what people say and remember when the Codex name is mentioned. Great job, Exit.
     
    ^ Top  
  24. NeutralMilkHotel Liturgist

    NeutralMilkHotel
    Joined:
    Dec 14, 2004
    Parrots:
    389
     
    ^ Top  
  25. Diogo Ribeiro Erudite

    Diogo Ribeiro
    Joined:
    Jun 23, 2003
    Parrots:
    5,706
    Location:
    Lisboa, Portugal
    I ate his liver with some Vault Dweller dick and some Exit beans.
     
    ^ Top  

(buying stuff via the above buttons helps us pay the hosting bills, thanks!)