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NSFW Best Thread Ever [No SJW-related posts allowed]

Discussion in 'General Gaming' started by Jaesun, Mar 15, 2011.

Page 353 of 1352

  1. Pelvis Knot Cipher

    Pelvis Knot
    Joined:
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    Messages:
    846
    Jul 11, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8801
    I stumbled upon this today: Daily Mail-o-matic

    It gave me this: "HAVE ASYLUM SEEKERS HAD SEX WITH BRITAIN'S FARMERS?"
    and this: "COULD IMMIGRANTS RIP OFF HARD-WORKING FAMILIES?"
    and this: "COULD LESBIANS TURN TAXPAYERS' MONEY GAY?"

    I find it funny because Daily Mail is extensively used as a thread starter in GD, with similar themes.
     
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  2. Menckenstein Lunacy of Caen: Todd Reaver

    Menckenstein
    Joined:
    Aug 2, 2011
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Remulak
    Jul 11, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8802
    Fffuuuuu those faggy scissoring whores are turning your hard earned money into HOMONEY
     
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  3. Gragt Arcane Patron

    Gragt
    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2007
    Messages:
    1,864,860
    Location:
    Dans Ton Cul
    Serpent in the Staglands Divinity: Original Sin
    Jul 11, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8803
    I got IS FEMINISM KILLING COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?
     
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  4. Luzur Prestigious Gentleman Good Sir

    Luzur
    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2009
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    Location:
    Swedish Empire
    Jul 11, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8804
    they look like a cartoon out from Scooby Doo.
     
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  5. Infinitron I post news Patron

    Infinitron
    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82,837
    Grab the Codex by the pussy Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Jul 11, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8805
    They are all the same woman.
     
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  6. Pelvis Knot Cipher

    Pelvis Knot
    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2010
    Messages:
    846
    Jul 11, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8806

    WILL POLITICAL CORRECTNESS INFECT YOUR CHILDREN WITH AIDS?
    ARE FERAL CHILDREN IMPREGNATING ENGLAND?
    WILL LESBIANS GIVE YOUR CHILDREN SWINE FLU?
     
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  7. Brinko Cipher

    Brinko
    Joined:
    May 7, 2012
    Messages:
    882
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8807
    http://www.gamefront.com/rumor-ea-ceo-john-riccitiello-to-be-removed-peter-moore-to-step-in/

    :kfc:
     
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  8. Vaarna_Aarne Notorious Internet Vandal Patron

    Vaarna_Aarne
    Joined:
    Jun 1, 2008
    Messages:
    33,342
    Location:
    Cell S-004
    MCA Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8808
    COULD THE INTERNET DEFRAUD THE CHURCH?

    ARE CHAVS TURNING YOUR PENSION GAY?

    HAVE SINGLE MOTHERS GIVEN YOUR PETS CANCER?

    ARE FOXES IMPREGNATING YOUR CHILDREN?

    ARE THE FRENCH STEALING FROM YOUR PETS?

    HAS THE BBC HAD SEX WITH BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?

    HAS THE METRIC SYSTEM DESTROYED YOUR DAUGHTERS?

    HAVE THE UNEMPLOYED MOLESTED THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY?

    IS CANCER STEALING THE IDENTITY OF THE CHURCH?

    IS HEALTH & SAFETY IMPREGNATING ENGLAND?

    WILL THE HUMAN RIGHTS ACT DESTROY YOUR HOUSE?

    ARE THE POLES RIPPING OFF THE ROYAL FAMILY?

    HAS BRUSSELS HAD SEX WITH YOU?

    ARE THE POLES IMPREGNATING THE BRITISH PEOPLE?

    HAS THE METRIC SYSTEM IMPREGNATED COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?

    IS HEALTH & SAFETY DEVALUEING THE ROYAL FAMILY?

    ARE THE POLES GIVING THE ROYAL FAMILY CANCER?

    WILL THE FRENCH TAX TAXPAYERS?

    IS THE INTERNET TURNING BRITAIN'S SWANS GAY?

    WILL THE LABOUR PARTY KILL THE CONSERVATIVE PARTY?

    WILL THE GERMANS HURT THE BRITISH PEOPLE?

    WILL SINGLE MOTHERS INFECT CLIFF RICHARDS WITH AIDS?




    ALL THIS AND MORE WITH SPORTS AND WEATHER, TONIGHT ON RAW NEWS
     
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  9. grotsnik Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    grotsnik
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
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    1,664
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8809
    Actually, the Mail headlines don't ask questions like that so much these days. It's all about fury. Any one of their editions will now contain at least one headline that starts with the word 'fury'.

    Fury as Muslims blow up pig (...and top policeman says disabling the bomb would have been 'racist')
    Fury as ASBO lout wins £100 MILLION in the lottery...and spends it on his own private militia to fight in his gang wars
    'I just love marrying babies, that's all': fury as Mormon paedophile marries his EIGHTH infant wife (and we can't even arrest him)

    While of course finding time for classics such as:

    'Argh, argh, it's eating my face': terrifying scenes caught on camera as mallard gnaws off dowager's nose (WARNING: GRAPHIC CONTENT)
    Thighs to die for: Kylie takes to the streets of LA in a SERIOUSLY short skirt
    RICHARD LITTLEJOHN: Before you start feeling sorry for the Spanish workers, remember their complicity in the Armada
    LIZ JONES: Why do so many other women envy my natural beauty and sense of style?

    It's a quality paper.
     
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  10. Pelvis Knot Cipher

    Pelvis Knot
    Joined:
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    Messages:
    846
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8810
    :lol:


    Wait, these are real headlines?
    :avatard:
     
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  11. circ Arcane

    circ
    Joined:
    Jun 4, 2009
    Messages:
    11,471
    Location:
    Great Pacific Garbage Patch
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8811
    No. It wouldn't surprise me though if the paper actually just made random headlines with a generator and then wrote a story that somewhat resembled it.
     
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  12. Angthoron Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    Angthoron
    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2007
    Messages:
    12,926
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8812
    BRITISH SCIENTISTS DISCOVER GAMING CAUSES POLAND.
     
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  13. Twinkle Liturgist

    Twinkle
    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2009
    Messages:
    1,426
    Location:
    Lands of Entitlement
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8813
    ARE LESBIANS INFECTING THE ROYAL FAMILY WITH AIDS?
    COULD POLITICAL CORRECTNESS TURN BRITISH JUSTICE GAY?
    WILL MUSLIMS STEAL FROM BRITISH SOVEREIGNTY?
    WILL IMMIGRANTS HURT COMMON SENSE AND DECENCY?
    ARE THE UNEMPLOYED IMPREGNATING YOU?
    COULD DUMBING-DOWN KILL THE BRITISH PEOPLE?

    :salute:

    RAW news indeed. :lol:
     
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  14. raw Arcane Patron

    raw
    Joined:
    Nov 1, 2008
    Messages:
    17,180
    PC RPG Website of the Year, 2015
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8814
    i never quote the daily fail. :decline: (at least i hope i didn't )
     
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  15. Infinitron I post news Patron

    Infinitron
    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82,837
    Grab the Codex by the pussy Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8815
    Enough of the Daily Mail shit :rpgcodex:
     
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  16. grotsnik Prestigious Gentleman Arcane

    grotsnik
    Joined:
    Jul 11, 2010
    Messages:
    1,664
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8816
    :hmmm:

    Damn, I was too subtle.

    Seriously, try Googling 'Daily Mail fury'. There are seven 'fury as X happens' headlines from their web edition in the past 48 hours. A 'Daily Mail shocking moment' or 'Daily Mail horrific moment' search indicates that their ghoulish 'horrific moment captured on camera, see all the pictures here' headline runs a few times a month. And the banal celebrity obsession (MailOnline carried 97 articles about Kim Kardashian in the month of June. I briefly worked for a middle-aged D-Lister who had an understanding with the paper; she'd appear in public wearing a ridiculous outfit every couple of weeks, and the Mail would take pictures, then run an article mocking her fashion sense, keeping her name in circulation), repeated cases of blatant plagiarism, and deranged hack columnists who make up any old crap are all too real.

    EDIT: In an attempt to maintain the overall horrifying direction of this BTE, here's a retelling of Planescape Torment through the medium of My Little Pony. Bet you can't guess which online community it's from!
     
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  17. Pelvis Knot Cipher

    Pelvis Knot
    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2010
    Messages:
    846
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8817


    Well, I really thought the Kylie one was probably real. :oops:
     
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  18. DwarvenFood Arcane Patron

    DwarvenFood
    Joined:
    Jan 5, 2009
    Messages:
    6,297
    Location:
    Atlantic Accelerator
    Serpent in the Staglands Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Wasteland 2 Codex USB, 2014 Divinity: Original Sin 2 BattleTech Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8818
    I think it's the other way around.
     
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  19. Infinitron I post news Patron

    Infinitron
    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82,837
    Grab the Codex by the pussy Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8819
    http://www.somethingawful.com/d/news/penny-arcade-kickstarter.php

    [​IMG]
    Two days ago, the guys at Penny Arcade decided to upend website funding as we know it by attempting to Kickstart a single ad from the face of their front page for the princely sum of 250,000 dollars. Fans generous enough to donate to their cause won't walk away empty-handed, though; Gabe and Tycho have plenty of rewards in store for their benefactors, some of which haven't been announced as of yet. In this Something Awful exclusive, check out what these Kings of Webcomicry plan on bringing to their most devoted fanatics.

    PLEDGE $200 OR MORE

    Get ready to land yourself on either Tycho or Gabe's pending Facebook friend requests list, where one of the two will weigh the option of friending you every other Friday for a year. Get ready to experience 12 whole months of a mouse cursor wavering between "Confirm" and "Not Now," ultimately deciding on "Not Now" when 365 days have passed. Tell your loved ones that a virtual friendship was pondered for a complete year by one of the two authors of the most popular video game webcomic on the Internet!

    PLEDGE $400 OR MORE

    Either Tycho or Gabe will send you a friend request via Friendster, which you may reflect upon, BUT CANNOT ACCEPT. Those who do accept will automatically enroll in the $500 tier, which includes a free pallet of Penny-Arcade: The Card Game starter decks, badly damaged by flooding and warehouse fires.

    PLEDGE $800 OR MORE

    Your pet will be drawn into the background of a Cardboard Tube Samurai comic. Note: your pet must be a calico cat and fit the description of a cat drawn in a Cardboard Tube Samurai comic months ago. Dog owners will receive an original print of an existing Cardboard Tube Samurai comic in .png format, with a .zip of additional Cardboard Tube Samurai content available for an additional 20 dollars.

    PLEDGE $1250 OR MORE

    You will be given access to a Google Voice account where you can hear new messages from either Tycho or Gabe up to (but not including) three times a year. Let America's webcomic darlings regale you with 30-second messages intended for the select few wealthy enough to reach this level of funding. Note: messages may include an outdated weather report read by one of the wives.

    PLEDGE $1500 OR MORE

    Either Tycho or Gabe will grant you the honor of carving out a piece of their driveways for posterity. Donators must find their own transport to Seattle, Washington, and arrange for a local contractor to completely replace and seal the driveway immediately afterwards. Any remnants removed from the estates of Mr. Holkins or Krahulik must be sealed in lucite and forbidden from eBay trafficking.

    PLEDGE $3000 OR MORE

    Those who reach this lofty level of funding will receive a no-expenses-paid trip to Seattle, Washington, where up to two pounds of gutter leavings from the property of Mr. Holkins or Krahulik may be kept upon complete cleaning of said gutters. Those lucky enough to make it out on the weekend may be treated to Gabe or Tycho swinging a rake at them below and swearing furiously. If this happens, please refrain from making eye contact.

    PLEDGE $5000 OR MORE

    Prepare yourself for adventure as you enter the truck of the Penny Arcade "snack wagon" during a regularly scheduled energy drink run. Wince in joy as your spine is bruised by a tire jack used by the inimitable Mike "Gabe" Krahulik to change a flat on two separate occasions. Note: donator must supply own oxygen.

    PLEDGE $6500 OR MORE

    Ready for the next PAX? Reach this tier (travel and convention costs paid by donator) and prepare to get hit with a water balloon filled with hot mustard at the next nationwide gathering of Penny Arcade fans. Those generous enough to enter this tier will be featured in a week-long Ctrl-Alt-Del arc as a character known as "The Mustard Man," because we can do that for some reason.

    PLEDGE $8000 OR MORE

    Hop on board the next train to the afterlife, because that's where you'll be headed when Jerry "Tycho" Holkins and Mike "Gabe" Krahulik smash your skull open with a cinder block as you sleep peacefully (first class airfare must be provided by donator). They will then erect a "Fruit Fucker 2000" headstone in your honor. Estimated delivery date: 2015.

    PLEDGE $10000 OR MORE

    Impress your favorite female friend or relative on their birthday with a personalized rape joke penned by the creators of Internet sensation Penny Arcade! Even survivors of abuse have to admit: these guys sure know their way around humor involving nightmarish and traumatizing violence against women.
     
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  20. treave Arcane Patron

    treave
    Joined:
    Jul 6, 2008
    Messages:
    11,240
    Codex 2012
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8820
    I don't know which is sadder, the people that made these tiers, or the people that buy them . I thought those were real tiers, actually. :oops:
     
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  21. Stereotypical Villain Arcane

    Stereotypical Villain
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2009
    Messages:
    7,904
    Location:
    Gritville
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8821
    $15000 ore more

    Carve out a piece of Fatty Magoo's scalp for use as a mirror! Impress your friends and family by owning the most effective mirror in the world!
     
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  22. Stereotypical Villain Arcane

    Stereotypical Villain
    Joined:
    Apr 18, 2009
    Messages:
    7,904
    Location:
    Gritville
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8822
    [​IMG]
     
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  23. Infinitron I post news Patron

    Infinitron
    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82,837
    Grab the Codex by the pussy Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8823
    :lol:
     
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  24. Brinko Cipher

    Brinko
    Joined:
    May 7, 2012
    Messages:
    882
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8824
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  25. Infinitron I post news Patron

    Infinitron
    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2011
    Messages:
    82,837
    Grab the Codex by the pussy Dead State Divinity: Original Sin Project: Eternity Torment: Tides of Numenera Wasteland 2 Shadorwun: Hong Kong Divinity: Original Sin 2 A Beautifully Desolate Campaign Pillars of Eternity 2: Deadfire Pathfinder: Kingmaker Pathfinder: Kingmaker
    Jul 12, 2012 Stats Ignoring
    #8825
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